Gentle Weaning for 3 Year Old

Ok, personal opinions aside, something you may be able to share with her instead of your breast milk is a "special insert drink here" that only BIG Girls, not babies can have and since she and mommy are BIG Girls they get to drink it together. Have it at a special time maybe before your youngest nurses or once a day during the yougest's nap time(s). And really you are setting yourself up for her to find other opportunities that a tamtrum might work in. You can not allow a tantrum to be acceptable behaivior circumstantially. It does appear she is simply looking for some one on one attention and this is the most appreciated by her attention time, for lack of better words. Good Luck and I hope you find your answer from one or more of the moms here.

Tell her she is a big girl.

I did extended breastfeeding... and my kids self-weaned.
My Daughter self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.
I talked with her about it.
I only nursed if she asked.
Or if she asked, I would say "In a minute, I am busy..." then I would NOT sit down.. and made myself busy. Then she would forget about it.
I taught my daughter 'manners' about it... ie: it is my boobs, she can't pull up my shirt, she needs to ask nicely & not demand it, only at home and not in public etc. It was fine... she understood. She was mature enough.

Then you also have a baby to nurse... so you can explain that baby needs to nurse and he is younger... and does not eat food yet like her... SO.. baby can only nurse from Mommy. But SHE is a big girl already and she CAN eat food... so that is why. That is what 3 year olds do etc.

Then I have friends who did extended breastfeeding... then they wanted to wean their child. So they put Band-Aids on their nipples, and said "Mommy's milk is broken..." or "Mommy has a boo-boo..." and they said this work WELL for them. No problem.
But, you have a baby to nurse, so that won't work for you.

Ultimately... she is responding that way because there is a baby in the house. So you have to address that... NOT just the nursing. She needs help.. in ADJUSTING to having a baby in the house. "She" had a baby too... not just you. She needs to adapt and transition to that... and her place in the home and the family. Because... her ENTIRE life changed... once the 2nd baby came home. So... address that.... not the nursing specifically per say... because, there are other things.. that she is needing to adjust to, too.

My daughter self-weaned. One day she just told me 'I don't drink from you anymore..." and then she giggled. And that was it.

all the best,
Susan

I felt like my daughter wanted to wean at 2 1/2, but wasn't sure how :) she wasn't latching well and didn't like the new milk that came with my new baby. So I started talking about how grown ups don't nurse. Pointed out some of her friends who didn't nurse. And asked her if maybe she'd like to stop nursing too? And that was that. Easy Peasy :) I was ready to wean too. If that hadn't worked, I would probably have just taken the line of reasoning further and explained that now that she was growing up, I would rather do big girl things with her and keep the milk for the baby.

Oh - wanted to add a note on tantrums. I find that if I respond to the tantrums with love and hugs they are much shorter. They won't get her what she wants, but I DO see them as a sign that she has no coping skills in the moment and is completely overwhelmed by her stress. Whether she's hungry, tired or simply confused - she's not deliberately tantruming. If she had better communication skills I'm sure she'd use them :)

I have nursed all my kids( I have 5 and one more due in December)some past 3 others around 2.5 years and with each one I reminded them that they big kids that could drink juice and chocolate milk. I took each one to the store to get a special cup or water bottle. There are so many out there. You have been doing some very gentle weaning already. You can also let her know that there are so many other things she can do now that she is big like walk,talk, and ride a bike, color pictures feed herself build with blocks take care of her own dollies...... Good Luck!
J. O

You're in charge. Having you tell your daughter what the deal is, is not ending negatively. She is big enough now not to nurse. Nothing negative about it. At three she is too old to be tantrumming (screaming whining crying) for any reason if you have instilled good boundaries, so don't fear her revolting the change, encourage her positively into her next phase of healthy organic milk, and enforce good behavior. Anything you explain to her with loving authority will make sense to her. Congrats, and good work nursing so long!

Wow. The fact that you still nurse a THREE YEAR OLD is interesting.
When she asks why you won't give her milk, it's simple. You tell her it's because she is a big girl, and time to start using a sippy cup/ bottle, but no more breast. Good luck.

We stopped at 21 months and all it took was telling my daughter that she was a big girl and mommy's body stopped making milk because she wasn't a baby any more. Your daughter is definitely old enough to understand that. This line of thinking also helps her understand that her infant brother still needs the milk because he is a baby. Focus on the big girl aspect of it and you'll be alright. Good luck and contrats!

In addition to these other suggestions, I had a "bye bye nursies" party for my third child (the only one I actually had to wean). A week before I wanted to be done, we talked about what a big boy he was (he was also 3yo) and how it was time to stop nursing. We spent that week finding other things for him to do when he asked, and he often had opinions about that lol, so if he wanted to go for a walk, we went, if he wanted a snack, I made it, but I still let him nurse 1-2x a day. At the end of the week, when his brothers were in school and his sister was napping, we made blueberry muffins together and Celebrated the end of our nursing relationship, I even bought special party plates for the occasion and let him have a little ginger ale with the muffins. It was like a Happy Ending :)