Full Time Working Parents of School Age Children...

the times, they have changed. I've sent a note with my daughter to school before for her to give to a specific kid she wanted to play with. that worked fine.

I don't get the whole idea of play dates. I mean I get it, but when I was a kid we just walked to each others houses or if we lived too far apart we just rode the school bus together to their house. My mother never called another mom on my behalf. The whole idea just seems weird to me.

Although I don't think any child should have their friendships orchestrated under the guise of playdates this is especially true of school aged kids.

My kids get their friends phone numbers and set up times to play and then clear it with my schedule. Sure I meet the parents when I drop them off or their friend is dropped off but I do not need to form a friendship with the parents as a precursor to my children's friends. Most of the time we end up friends from the process but my children's friendships are born of their own relationships, not mine.

This also makes it so much easier when you work all day and don't have time to volunteer at the school during the day. Heck though, even when I did volunteer a lot it was mostly one of my kids running up to me after school asking if so and so could come over...is it okay with their mom...hold on....running...she wants to talk to you....okay....

By elementary school most children know their own home phone numbers (I hope they still do!) and can exchange that information if they want to get together. Obviously if you don't live in the same neighborhood the parents need to get on the phone and set something up. My BFF has always been a full time working mom, and has never had a problem connecting this way. It starts with the kids and goes from there, just like it always has :-)

My kids exchange numbers with their friends.

My daughter just exchanges phone numbers with her school friends. Then I call and arrange a play date.

Give your child an index card with your phone number and a note on it for another parent and have your child hand it to the other kid... or talk to the teacher, who can hopefully pass a message along for you.

Remove the word, 'date' from the equation and just arrange for the kids to PLAY.

I encourage my boys to stick with making friends and playing with kids who live close by. We don't really do "play dates." They generally know who those kids are because they ride the same school bus.

If they want to play....they go and knock on their friends' door.

Best of luck!

I grew up in that magical era before playdates, but I understand that it is a different world now. (Also, I grew up in the military, where communities were ready made.) I would feel very irresponsible if I were to let my child go off to play at the home of another child whose parents I had never met. Depending on how old your kids are, I definitely think its a good idea to have them initiate contact with a school friend, but you would still want to meet the parents and probably drop them off yourself the first time they go over there. I was a teacher for many years, and I noticed that after school activities were a primary means of socializing for many kids. Also, as someone else suggested, club type activities like Boy Scouts are great, because they take place in the evening, and they are a smaller and more self-selected group, which would allow you to get to know the other parents and kids better.

Give a written invitation to the parents of ___________ (and send your contact information) to see if they would be interested in meeting a setting up some play dates. You can deliver the notes to your child's teacher and take it from there.

Have you thought of giving your daughter a little old-fashioned address book? I mean, not really old-fashioned -- just the pen-and-paper kind from ye olde ancient history when we all were growing up.

That way, she can tell her friends, "Wanna have a playdate? Put your parents' phone numbers or email addresses here, and my mom will get in touch with them." It'll give her the chance to be sociable and take the initiative.

What about sending a note with your daughter to give to another child with your contact information? Or give to the teacher to pass on to the parent?

I am not sure what age she is, but when I taught kindergarten, my students had "take home folders". I never got such notes from parents, but sometimes kids did bring birthday invites and I simply stuck them in the child's Take Home Folder.

Perhaps you could email the teacher and ask them to forward the email on to so&so's parent? Or with the start of summer approaching, maybe plan an "End of the Year" play date at a local park for children in your daughter's class to attend so you can meet some of the parents and swap contact information?
Good luck!!

My granddaughter's school's PTA publish a directory each year. Ask at the office to see if one is available.

I work from home.

On Monday's one of my youngest son's classmates comes over until his mom gets off work.

We touch base through Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts as well as other activities...e-mails are great too!!

My daughter has exchanged phone numbers.

I've found parents on facebook and connected with them there.

And I've also connected with them at extra curricular events

If there's a particular friend my kid wants to have a playdate with I usually send a note with my child to give to that child's parent with my contact information and who my child is and ask them to contact me for a playdate. Usually works. Otherwise I make sure I can talk to them at events for school and exchange contact information.