Frustrated with Kindergarten Already!

Hi,
You have many good answers here. I'll be brief, I'd either ask for a another teacher with a different style or try another school.
L.

Okay, I hope I can explain what the teacher has in mind better than she did. I taught kindergarten and preK before I "retired" to be a SAHM. I also encouraged the kids to write stories, and she was right that your daughter will be frustrated with this method, which you are clearly seeing.
The idea is that writing language is years behind spoken language skills in all kids, and the teacher is trying to encourage the creative mind, while not waiting for the writing to catch up. This is in response to schools that used to only do phonics, and standardized tests that showed writing scores seriously deficient. Because they score based on the thought process behind the story, and the spelling and grammer is secondary, until about the 4th grade. They found that kids were being held back creatively, because they didn't hve the skills to put their true thoughts on paper, they only used words that they knew how to spell.
This is longer than I meant to be, sorry. Here are some ways to work with her at home, to ease the transition. Identify a few key words that she should know all by herself: the, and, but, and whatever other words she tends to use a lot. then before she starts a story, have her brainstorm what she wants her story to be about. Then you can anticipate which harder words she may want to use in her story. For example, if she is writing about butterflies she might also want to know how to spell caterpiller, leaves, flowers, you get the idea. You can make a list of these words for her to look at and know how to spell. ( this would also be the best use of flash cards if you have them, so she could match pictures to words) Then all the other words, encourage her to just think what the word starts with. When the two of you go back through the story and she reads it to you, that is when she (oryou) can fill in the word.
Ignoring questions doesn't sound effective to me, but encouraging her to get her ideas on paper is the key. If she knows that you will help her spell the words at the end, she may be less worried about having everything perfect the first time.
I know it sounds like a crazy idea, but really it is how the writing process works. Even through college, getting your ideas on paper is most important, and then you go back through and fix the punctaution and do spell check. I think the teacher just may not have explained herself very well.
But on a side note, this teacher may not be prepared to teach someone so advanced. The idea of just ignoring your daughter may be a sign that your daughter could be frustrated in other areas too.
Good luck, and if you have other questions, feel free to contact.

I would say that I completly take the middle ground on this issue. For the school to act like her abilities are a "problem" is absurd. Her early ability to read is and always will be an asset to her. If she is reading at a 3rd grade level, then I would think that it wouldn't be such a problem for her to write a story. If she has a problem spelling a word or two in her story, just tell her to spell it how she thinks and then you'll go over it with her when she is done. That's how I did it with my 5yr old who was in K this past year. The ability to put together a story with a beginning, middle and end from your imagination is different than your reading ability. It can take more independent thought. She is already so advanced for her age, there is nothing to worry about. The focus needs to shift for her from it being "right" to using her imagination to create fun stories. The dictionary would not work towards teaching her anything either. The sounding out and figuring out of the spelling is educational. I do disagree with the school - I think that they should be shown the correct spelling afterwards. My son's K class was like this at the beginning of the year (with no correction), but further along in the year they focused more on correct spelling etc. Don't worry or stress, she is farther along than most. Maybe start her out with making up stories just verbally, that way the writing correctly doesn't get in they way of her mind to think freely.

Hi D.....

I understand that you may be frustrated; however, as I teacher I believe that your childs teacher is probably trying to have your child "start" to write stories. She may want your child to write words phonetically, meaning they won't be spelled right but if she sounds them out and writes what letters she "hears" then that is how she will read the words by herself. Does that make sense? For example if your daughter wanted to write the words cat and dog she may only hear the sounds "ct" for cat and "dg" for dog. Usually children at this age do not hear the vowel sounds in words. So your daughter will write stories using the letter sounds that she knows to make the words. I actually think this is a wonderful and amazing time for your daughter and I love reading children's writing at this age. I hope this helps...and makes sense!

D.

I just had my two oldest finish First and Second (Kindergarten was not long ago). Writing is a big deal in their curriculum these days. And it is truly different from reading (my daughter was really strong at spelling entering Kindergarten but not that strong in reading). At any rate, the creative part of the process is a huge focus in Kindergarten, First, Second...and I imagine Third too. the teachers really emphasize creating, imagination, beginning/middle/end, etc....more than they worry about the spelling. Spelling will eventually come, but it seems at the Kindergarten level they don't want the child to be sooo worried about the spelling because it will take the focus off of the important "process" of writing. And learning to spell by solely memorizing as opposed to sounding things out can be a huge detriment in the long run.

There is a GREAT dvd series by Leap Frog (about $10 at Target), and The Letter Factory is the introductory spelling dvd. It is 'catchy' and the kids remember it even when they are not watching. It was hugely responsible for both of my kids strong spelling. Combined with refrigerator magnets, it is a really fun way for kids to learn how to spell .

In all honesty, I'm glad they emphasize this creative area in school, because the rest of our kids' academic curriculum is pretty intense these days!

I still helped my son - who is nowhere near development
of your daughter - we just would discuss the difference between kindergarten spelling (where it is whatever he hears as he says it and therefore how he thinks it should be spelled) and dictionary spelling. We never discussed right or wrong spelling. You can try that for your daughter and explain that they really are both right because what she hears is the phonetics and that is just the starting point to writing and spelling. She will get the rest as she moves along in practicing her skills and building on what she already knows to incorporate with what she is learning.

D.,
As a former teacher (various grades Kdg thru 5th), your Kdg. teacher's advice is outrageous! I taught phonics to Kindergartners, & they learned how words are supposed to sound and look. Don't frustrate your daughter any longer. Help her when she asks for help. Be there for her. And you might want to consider changing schools. Her language skills will develop as you communicate with her and she interacts with others of good verbal abilities. If she is frustrated with her thinking & writing skills this early, you can already see it as a detriment to her future reading skills.

G. B, Oxford

D.,
I was told the same thing when my son started Kindergarten! I had him in a montessori setting for two years prior to starting public school. He was reading off the charts for his age. Well it only took me one year to know that public school set him back. I pull him and my daughter out and put them into Summit Academy Schools. He was encourged to learn at his pace and on all of his meap scores, he scored above average on his reading skill levels.

You have to think about what you want for your children. My son has now graduated from the Summit Schools and is now a sound engineer for a concert company. My daughter still attends the Summit Academy H. S. and is starting her 11th year. I cant say enough about how they want the children to grow and learn. I was honestly told by my local school district that letting my son read was against school policy! Because at grade K, they were not required to teach learning based on the michigan core standards. It didnt take me long to find someplace that would buck the system yet still follow the state system.

I will never understand any teacher or staff member that tells you or your student, that they can not teach what the child wants to learn.

Good Luck
T.

All I can think of is do what makes your daughter delight in learning. That may be a different school. Or your dictionary idea. But a bright young reader needs to be encouraged, and she is way past what the others are doing in terms of spelling and reading--frustrating and demeaning are what comes to mind as I read your request. Let her GROW! Children learn differently and at different speeds, proven time and again. It can't be right to make her follow the pack. And how can it be wrong to show her proper spelling if she WANTS it? Stories are great, but if hers also happens to be spelled right, with your help, it will make her proud of her work and enjoy the projects.
Just my thoughts as a Mom.

D.,

As a teacher (special education) I feel great telling you to let her have her summer. When she gets in school she can focus on the writing, she should have fun and not already resent writing because of the stress. That being said, if you still want to work with her this summer, have her write about her day, and tell her to write the best she can and then when she is all done, you will go through it with her and help her correct it. That way she can write, and then with your help she will get it perfected since that is what it sounds like she needs. Though she does need to learn that everything doesn't have to be perfect!!!! Trust me, that can make school very hard if she cannot even write her name for fear of not having everything perfect. Slowly you can back off on correcting everythin.
A second suggestion would be to have her write it and then type it into Word so that she can see her mistakes and correct them herself. It sounds like she is smart enough to do this. Good luck.

Oh my! I can't believe what I'm reading. You know what's best for your child. My son began reading small words when he was about 16 months and entered Kindergarten reading at a 3rd grade level just like your little one. He is an excellent writer and loves reading to this day. (He is going to 7th grade in the fall.)

I did let him write stories and he spelled out words the way that he thought they should be at that age but I can't imagine not helping my child if they ask. I also think that her early reading just increases her love of reading and words and this method will only frustrate her. By the way...Why in the world are Kindergarteners writing stories anyway?

Even with an exceptionally bright child, what is all the pressure about.

Are you sure about this teacher? School? I would never want to do anything that would frustrate an obviously bright child in learning and I definitely would always be there to assist. What is the world coming to?

Are we sure this teacher knows what he is doing. My oldest son was and still is advanced. It has never messed with his learning. The only problems are that he was/is always ahead of the group and would become bored... We had to explain that he needed to slow down or do extra reading when time is aloud or recheck his work.....Probably when the other kids are still working and he is done..... Now he is an excellant reader.........
Well I believe that the dictionary is a great idea, she will learn more spelling and learn how to use the important dictionary.... I would never stop helping a child to spell or learn how to put a story together... Hope this helps... I am not a pro when it comes to parenting , but this is how I would handle this problem.
Good luck to you and your girls..... A. Y.

I would not ignore her requests for help, I would ask her how she thinks it is spelled, or tell her to try her best to figure it out, and after she is done getting her ideas down on paper we will look at the spelling. Also may "model" for her you telling a story or writing a picture story, but make sure to make mistakes, lots of them, and tell her that there are many stages to writing a story, and you have to start with the mistakes and correct them. Also tell her it is okay to change your work later, what is important is getting your ideas and pictures on paper.
P.S. feel free to pm me I am also a teacher, and I don't think the teacher fully conveyed to you how to handle this.

It sounds like the teacher is wanting to get the kids to use their imagination more than concentrating on the basic writing skills and grammer that the children need these days. If your daughter is reading and writing as you say she is, I would not ignore her cry for help when she is frustrated. That would only hurt her. Too many parents these days don't help their children with homework, and expect the teachers to do everything. Shame on the teacher for telling you to let her figure it out on her own. We as parents are supposed to help and guide our children in the right direction. If anything, I would be talking to someone at the school about placing your daughter with a different teacher. If your daughter is advanced, you might want to consider moving her up a grade.

My story: I work full time and I have 2 children of my own and a step-daughter. My 19 year old daughter struggled with spelling and reading comprehension in the sixth grade. She was in a private school that didn't emphasize the importance of spelling words correctly. (Shame on me for not realizing it earlier) When I confronted the principal, she tried to tell me that as long as the word looks like it sounds, that is all that is important these days. I totally disagreed and removed her from the school immediately. After spending alot of money at the Sylvan Learning Center, my daughter is more confident in everything she does. And she too, sees the importance of spelling and grammer. She loves to read now. She has graduated from High School and is going to college.

I also have a 13 year old son who will be in High School in the fall. When he was in pre-kindergarten he too was reading and spelling words. His teacher at the time, suggested to me, to move him up a grade because she felt he would be bored in her class and he would lose interest. (Something you don't want to happen) I was nervous about doing that because I knew he would always be younger than everyone he went to school with and wondered if he would always be able to keep up in school. I can tell you this. He has yet to have a problem academically. He finished the Eigth Grade with all A's including his 9th grade Algebra class that he took. Yes... I'm nervous about High School. Everyone else driving a year before him and all that stuff. But, I also see how he is concentrating on his future. He has goals set to attend U of M and signed up for all advanced classes his freshman year. His education is what is most important. When he needs help studying for an exam or anything else, I don't even hesitate to help. Socially, he hasn't had a problem yet. He is involved in sports and has lots of friends.
As you can see, I am proud of both of my children for their accomplishments.

My daughter just finished kindergarten. They did the same thing in her class, and I was mortified at first, but I decided to "go with the flow." Rachel did just fine and was learning new words every day it seemed, so quickly those journal pages that were a mess the beginning of the year soon started filling up with correctly spelled words and complete thoughts in a sentence. You daughter sounds super smart, I'm sure she will do fine!

Teaching her to use a dictionary is a bit advanced...but if she gets it, it's not a bad idea!!! I think the purpose of the story writing (I'm just guessing here) is more to stimulate her creativity and teach her the power of her words...that her words mean something. I struggled with this when I taught English as a Foreign Language in Taiwan b/c the kids had so much "rote memory" of English as well as every othter subject they didn't know how to think creatively. Everything in Taiwan was all about the memorization of a right answer or the right way to do something, I wanted my kids to know there isn't always a "right" answer to a question in English, sometimes you just use the words you know to tell something...this might be part of what your child's teacher is getting at...then this will help lead into reading readyness for kids who don't read...they'll understand that words have meaning.

For your daughter, maybe it would be better to skip the writing right now and ask her to draw a picture or series of pictures that tell a story...then she can tell you the story andyou can write it together...letting her write the words she knows and you filling inthe rest...that way it will be less frustrating for both of you. She can work independently on drawing the pictures first.

Good luck!! It sounds like you have a smart girl...I'm not sure where you live, but I'd love to work with your child if you feel that would be helpful...I have a degree in Early Childhood Education and a wide background of experience.

D.,

When I looked at what the teacher was stressing I thought you might want to try asking your daughter to draw a picture and then write a caption below it. Every day ask her to add another sentence to the caption until she is "writing" a few sentences.

I liked the idea of the "first draft". Tell her a lot of adults write down their ideas without worrying about spelling or any of the technical stuff and then "fix" it later in the second draft. The other mom had a great idea to sit down with your daughter and go over the problems she wanted to "fix" but not add any that you might catch, only the ones she brings up.

Writing is all about creativity, but I believe that when someone is learning how to write creatively and they only focus on each word being spelled correctly they are inhibiting their own imagination and limiting the big picture while focusing only on the details. Perfectionism has its place in learning, but not during the creative process. Your daughter may, or may not, be ready to get past the detail oriented stage right now. She may advance to that stage on her own eventually, or you may need to sit down with her on a regular basis in the future and teach her how to let go and be creative.

Either way tread slowly and let her guide you in her learning process.

Good luck.

-C..

Wow, I don't know what school you are sending your kids to or what kinds of teaching that is, but I would not like it and I would probably seriously reconsider my decision of school if that is a taste of their philosophy as teachers.

I would follow your gut and not do that, teach her how to spell and write properly!

Remember just because a school says something doesn't mean it's right even if they have more degrees than you do. You are still her mother and you are ultimately responsible for what she learns.

you seem like a good mom, do what you think is right!

D.,
First, where does your frustration lie, with the teacher, the method, or with your daughter's ability, or lack of? I'm confused with what the teacher's saying.

It's good to sound out a word. If your daughter's good with the alphabet and the sounds that's good. That's what they promoted on Sesame Street. Maybe that's a starting point! But please don't buy this 'spelling isn't important' hooey. It is. Puncutuation is important. Tense is important, Grammer's important. We're seeing a lot of kids that don't know 'THERE' from 'THEY'RE' or 'THEIR', and when to use what. I learned this stuff in grade school. Kids are not being taught the importance of spelling at all. Or speaking. I was at my son's graduation, where there were 9 valedictorians and each had to make a speech. All 9 stunk. They had little to say, but what little they did, they talked so fast or so quiet or whatever, that it wasn't even worth it.

You follow your own instincts. Work with your daughter. You write a word, make it fun, turn it into a game, but don't shirk on spelling. Because even with the age of computers, I'm seeing adults even that don't spell properly and they sure don't use spell check. This is their future and they should be able to write, punctuate, and use proper grammer.

Best of luck!

D.,

I'm not sure I understand fully the approach, but the overall goal is for your child to become an independent writer. Your goal as well I'm sure. Being told how to spell things instead of listening for sounds is not developing other parts of the complex process of reading and writing. It sounds like you have a very bright girl. Once you both become more familiar with the process, I'm sure she'll take off. I'm not explaining this well, but reading & writing are complex processes that involve more than just recognizing words-I would suggest possibly talking to the reading consultant in your district to get a better understanding of the approach that is being used if you don't feel like you are getting that from the Kindergarten teacher. Staci actually gave a very good explanation. I agree that ignoring your child will not benefit her, just continue to think of yourself as her guide toward independence in reading and writing.

When your daughter is frustrated by spelling a word, ask her to sound it out AND give her help. For example, if there is a witch in a castle and she's stuck on witch and castle ask her "what letter makes the \w\ sound? do you know and other words with that sound in them? what letter makes that sound?" then do \i\ etc. If she needs help figuring out a letter/sound or finding a word, give her one. "\t\ sound like in Thomas and Teletubbies (some word you know she is familiar with etc.).

Think about the spelling as the letter sound correspondence. So if castle gets spelled K-A-S-O-L for example, applaud her efforts.

I also think you need to speak with the teacher. Asking your daughter to conform to her expectations and level, not the other way around, is going to lead to PROBLEMS. Let's put it this way. If your child were struggling because she had never read a story or all of her stories had different structure because of her culture, what would her teacher do to support her? Demand that level of support for your child who is reading and writing already. If necessary, speak to the lead teacher\department head\principal. The issue for me - as an educator- is that your teacher expects to not change HER instruction\expectations to meet your child's needs. This is a bigger issue and will continue to cause problems outside of the writing.

Hi, D.. First, let me say that I have been in similar shoes when my children were in traditional school. In the beginning, we did Montessori, which approaches learning from a similar philosophy of "letting the child figure it out on their own, while encouraging creativity and mastery."

Needless to say we have been home-schooling now for seven years. Not that I am suggesting this to you, but what I can share, is that many of us parents have so much to lend our children with regards to learning. Unfortunately, teachers (who I have the greatest overall respect for), have been lifted to a pedestal that parents often look up to and rely upon without considering what is really happening in the classroom with their children, or where they as parents can be essential in the process.

In other words, nobody knows your child like you and your husband do. You can certainly support whatever assignment they are encouraging at school, while adding whatever you think will enrich your daughter's learning style and needs. Personally, I agree with your gut feeling about correct spelling AND assisting her to figure things out. From a professional perspective, I will share that the fastest way to squash a zest for learning, is to let frustration grow in "isolation." A little frustration is fine if you or someone else is there to direct it forward.

What a gift you will be teaching your daughter, if you can assist her at this age with exploring the tools available like the dictionary, to solve spelling mysteries. (Keep in mind though, that the actual recipe for looking up words involves some advanced thought processes). Perhaps letting her put her story ideas down on paper first, (so her creativity remains uninterrupted), and then showing her how a story is "edited" by actually doing this with her, would be a compromise. Don't be afraid to be creative. Perhaps use dictation as starting point. Have your daughter tell you her story as you write it down.

In all honesty, at your daughter's age, I would be interested in the actual "goal" for the story writing, since writing with all its mechanics is quite abstract for this age. Your best bet from this point forward will be to always understand "where" your child's teacher is coming from, and what their actual "objective" is. In addition, it is always interesting and useful to ask your daughter what "her" understanding of her assignment is, so you can work behind the scenes to assist her.

You certainly do not need to share your approach with her teachers. They will thank you in the end, because your daughter is sure to excel!

Hang in there.....Good Luck. :)

Hi D.! I am not sure what school district your daughter attends but I teach Kindergarten for Traverse City. The writing curriculum TC uses is by a woman named Lucy Calkins. The writing part of the day is referred to as a "Writer's Workshop" and students are influenced to believe they are true authors of their writing. The Lucy Calkins approach is quite different from tradional methods of writing and I know many teachers are trying to get used to the new ways as well. However, once understood may be very benefical for you and your daughter. This program focuses on the "stretching" of words and writing only the sounds heard rather than focusing on spelling. Spelling correctly will come in time for your daughter. Keep encouraging her to write what she hears and to put less focus on writing accurately. A dictionary may be a little over the top but you could make her something age appropriate. In my class, I allowed my students to use a "Kindergarten" word wall. I had sight words on a two-sided sheet of paper. They kept this paper in their writing folders and could add words to it as they chose to do so. It had the alphabet at the top and words for each letter underneath. This may help with some of your daughter's frustrations. Her frustrations will only lead to a negative outlook on the writing experience. You want to encourage her to write on her own but you also do not want her so frustrated that she can't (or won't) write at all. Help her "stretch" out the words and hear the sounds. You can even make a game out of it. Tell her to pretend she is chewing a piece of bubblegum, have her pretend she is pulling the gum from her mouth while she says the words she is trying to spell. Since it's summer now, you could even let her have an actual piece of gum for a treat after she has completed her "story". The gum may even help her keep focused on her writing too. Remember also that a "story" has a beginning, middle and an end and three short sentences by your daughter would be age appropriate. The "Lucy Calkins" approach would use three separate papers stapled together (a sentence and "sketch" on each) and there is less emphasis on the "drawing" and more emphasis on the writing of words. Through this approach it encourages the child to only do a sketch for their picture because they can come back to it after the words are written. I sure hope I haven't made you more frustrated or confused. I would definitely recommend that you contact your daughter's teacher and speak with her again about her recommendations. You may ask for her to provide some writing paper for your daughter to use throughout the summer. The teacher may even have a "word wall" or something that may be useful for you and your daugther. If you want even more information on your schools approaches contact the Language Arts Department for your district. They are open throughout the summer and would be able to supply you with further information. I sure hope my information has been helpful in some way. I wish you and your daugther the best!!

It sounds like your daughter may be gifted so you have to be her advocate, because teachers usually only give the most attention to the kids that need the most help (which may be your daughter but they don't see it that way) Study up on gifted kids to see if she may be, and if so, see if there is a program for them at your school. A magnet program. They need special care in their education or it could lead to behavorial problems, not meeting their potential...etc.
BUT - My daughter was reading at a 3nd grade level when she was 5 too, but I had her in a special school for gifted kids - Steppinstone - and they nurtured that and they did let them sound out the words on their own and weren't concerned with how they spelled it. My daughter wasn't frustrated because she didn't know that she was spelling them wrong. She just liked that she was writing a story. It was ok. My daughter is a perfectionist as well, and doesn't like to do things unless they are correct, but at 5, she didn't know that her spelling was off. It bugged me more than her. I think it's an ok program and her teacher may be on to something even though it sounds bad. Just make sure that her teacher seems to care about your daughter learning and don't mention that she might be gifted because some teachers reject that.
Last year (first grade) in a different school (public)my daughter aced all her spelling tests and they kept giving her harder and harder words. That small time she spent writing words wrong didn't effect her spelling negatively one bit. It's ok.

How does she know the words are not right? If it's from you, try to let it go. If it's her, try the dictionary. That might frustrate her at first, but if she's smart, she might love it. I don't know.

Good luck!

I know what you are going thru. I had a son who could read his entire alphabet by 18 months old. I know this sounds crazy but he had such an attraction to letters and reading. He would make letters out of everything. Even his food. I had him in Montesorri thru kindergarten and they were fantastic about adjusting the program to his level. First grade he went to our home school and it was not good. We met with the principal and the teacher prior to starting and we were basically blown off. They do not want to cater to the academically advanced or delayed children and boy did I see that. My son had a terrible 1st grade year and the teacher loaded him with coloring and cutting of which he had no interest and would not complete in school. It would have to come home with him to finish,every night! I then met with the teacher again and said only give him the work, not all the busy stuff. That did help. We "got thru" 1st grade and 2nd grade was fantastic. He had a wonderful teacher who explained to us that they are only allowed to officially test these children on reading up to a certain level. Each grade has to show so much progress and this may also be tied to funding. He did a lot of writing in 2nd grade in prep for the MEAP's but spelling was also stressed. My son is now moving to the 3rd grade. At home, we do writing journals that is a really fun activity and we try to read books that are my son's level. His 2nd grade teacher let him pick out harder library books or bring them from home to read. She even gave him a harder spelling test if he could pass the pre-test on the regular spelling test. I think your dtr will be fine. As my pediatrician told me, when you have an advanced child, you have to supplement at home. They are going to have great teachers and not so good teachers and this is part of learning too. Meet with the teacher, let her know your concerns and advocate on behalf of your dtr. Just be careful using the gifted words. They hate that in the schools but all parents think their children are special. Also, most children will catch up to your dtr in reading by 3rd and 4th grade. What might seem gifted now, may not necessarily be true in a couple of years. My son is still an advanced reader but I would hesistate to say he was gifted. He's just lucky he is a bit more advanced than some of his peers. Good luck D.. Keep your dtr motivated for learning, despite some of those teachers!!!

I think you should talk to the principal of the school. I have 3 kids, and all of them wee reading in kindergarten. The range of kid's abilities in kinergarten range from children reading well, (yours) to children not even knowing their alphabet. The benchmarks for kindergarten don't include reading, just reading readiness. So don't expect the school to do anything for your child in terms fo her reading. AS far as writing in co ncerned, spellilng and grammar aren't taught until 1st and 2nd grade, you will need to find out from the principal about that. You may also want to talk to the principal about having her tested to see if she is gifted, 3rd grade is a pretty high level for a kindergartener. Is she comprehending? If so, she will need to be in a program that will move her forward. All the schools want to do in K-2nd grade is get the students to read. If yours already is, they will check her off the list and move onto the next non-reader. Any forward activity will need to be by you, either advocating for her or doing it yourself. It sounds like the teacher is right in the fact that they way they do that project will be a huge frustration for her, so here are your options as I see it: Firstly, talk to the principal and express your concern, they may have a program for advanced readers. 2. Get the teacher to change her project (good luck with that). If there are several students in the class that read already, she may be willing to do that 3) you take her out of class during that time and take her to the school's library or do some other activity with her that is at her level. 4) try to get the school to do #3, 5) talk to a different elementary school in your district, if you have open enrollment, and perhaps enroll her there if their program is more to your liking. You can decide later if you want to keep her there or put her back in her home school for 1st grade. Sounds like you've got your work cut out for you, good luck!

Your daughter's skills need to be nurtured, not oppressed. I believe these efforts of the teacher are all part of the "dumbing down of America"!!! How can knowing how to spell be detrimental??? YOU know your daughter, go with your gut. Consider changing schools or home schooling. Your daughter is obviously ahead of the pack. It's wonderful you see that and can act in her best interest. Alot of teachers...and this started as long as 15 years ago, want all the kids to be the same to make THEIR job easier for them. So many kids get bored with this and instead of excelling at school, they go the other direction and think that school is a waste of time. My kids are 29, 26 and 24. From my experience in the school system, you have to be there for your kids. Sometimes those teachers need to be reminded just who it is they work for...YOU, the taxpayer. One of the other responses I don't agree with was moving her up a grade or two. This would put her in with kids who are emotionally more mature and when it is time for middle and high school, the peer pressure etc gets to be overwhelming.

First of all, ALL children are different...right? YOU know your child. I would take SOME of the advice of the teacher and let your daughter know that on the first draft she should not be concerned about the writing and just let her imagination flow....then....if she wants to go through the story with you and SHE has specific questions...I, personally, would answer them...including correct spelling. I would not offer her any more than she asks, however. Every teacher has their own methods and they don't work across the board. You need to be your child's best alli....but not a "helicopter" mom. That's my opinion. Hope it helps.

Keep doing what you are doing with your child. Keep teaching her what the school is not. It can only help her to know several different ways of doing things. You will find the same problems with math down the road. they don't teach it the way WE learned it. It makes no sense to me that they would not encourage her advancement! I had the same problem when i was a child, I got in trouble in kindergarten for bringing my books to school and reading when they "hadn't taught that yet" My mom put me in a different school, and I was in a 6th grade reading book in the 1st grade.
Maybe try a Charter school if you have one in your area? They are still public schools, so there shouldn't be a cost, but they are run VERY different. They need to obtain the same goals as a public school but are allowed to experiment with the delivery and curriculum, so there seems to be more individual attention and room to grow.

I have never heard of discouraging a child who can read in any way!! Some of the writing skills comes from reading. One thought that I have is would a different teacher have the same views. I'd also be inclined to talk with the principle. I'm guessing another school is not an option? I think I'd be inclined to let her be frustrated with what the teacher wants instead of battling with her just becuase she is "smarter than the average bear".

I'm not sure I helped. It just isnt' right. It's kindergarten - not high school.

Good Luck.

K.

Hi D.,

This situation sounds just like what happened to my niece when she was younger. She'll be in 10th grade this fall and still cannot spell basic words correctly because of the bad habits she was taught so early. Here are my suggestions: 1. See if there is another classroom/teacher that your daughter can be moved in to. 2. Consider schools of choice. Talk with other families in your area and see what they recommend. 3. Consider a private Catholic/Christian school. The class sizes are generally smaller, more attention is focused on academics within a Christian environment and your daughter would probably do a lot better in school without the current frustration she's having. You'll feel better about it too :)

Good luck!

My son is having the same difficulties. Since he can already read he doesn't know how to break down the words to find the spelling. I've been told to work on letter/sound correlation. Help her sound out the words. Let her tell you what letter makes each sound. Once she gets the basic letter/sound concept she will excell. Yes, it's backtracking but a necessary step to help her in the future. Ignoring her isn't going to help. She needs to learn how to break down the words and sound them out one letter at a time.

Fads come and go. I realize the US is focusing on helping individuals be creative because our country is falling behind in technology, however, basics are important. Your child can be creative and still exceed with reading and writing skiils. Teachers don't like to be bothered by children asking how to spell something (they are overwhelmed in the classroom), in addition, there's always a concern with children that want to do everything perfect (no mispelled words).

My guess is your child will do great in school. I wouldn't stop assisting her, I would get some dictionaries (childrens as well as the adult version) and help her look up the words she needs help with. This would encourage independence and decrease the need for immediate one on one help. It also increases creativity as children learn new words.

Please don't tell your child mispelling words is okay. As a supervisor that has interviewed new applicants, it is horrifying the graduates from high school that cannot even fill out an application without errors. I am confident that children in growing technological countries emphasize correct grammar in their children's education. The US continues to decline as teachers have increased in ignoring spelling and grammer in the classroom. Our children are capable of being creative and doing quality work.

Hats off to you for having your child reading and writing already. The desire to exceed at this young age will give her the determination to succeed as an adult.

Don't lower your child's standards, but encourage creativity as well as the basics. Children are able to accomplish alot more than teachers ask for. It is a challenge for teachers when they have a child that exceeds others in the classroom, but not impossible. The teacher needs to be creatvie with how she works with children that exceed what other classmates do.

I would question a teacher that wants to limit educational advancement. I'd check if there is another teacher or alternative schooling available. Your child deserves the best education available. You are the parent, don't let a teacher determine what is best for your child. Teachers work for you, not the other way around.

Good luck, don't get frustrated, get determined. Insist that your school provide the education with will give your child the advantage to succeed in all areas. It's time more parents get determined so our children have a future.

Go D.!!

Having just finished enduring K with my son (he was bored by January because it was too basic), I was a little taken aback at the phonetical way of writing, but my son would bring home his papers and ask me to spell check. In order to encourage his creativeness, I didn't punish the misspelling, I just made sure that his spelling could be understood ("oh, I think suthing is missing an M, where would it go?")
His school starts teaching "sight words" in Kindergarten but puts the emphasis of getting thoughts on paper for other words first.
I am not condoning phonetic spelling, I have introduced him to a dictionary but haven't forced him to use it. It is a tool that should be used if and when he is willing. And although he seems to think he needs to be perfect the first time, I am encouraging him to try something and then fine-tune it later. I explain that writing is a process that requires drafts, edits, and final copies.
Having said that, his class does have

Hi D.,

I am sorry to hear your frustrations. I am a stay at home mom of two and used to be in the classroom before I had children.

There are a number of practices with reading and writing and your daughter sounds like she is interested and wants to do things a different way than what her teacher wants her to do. Although, I have a great deal of respect for teachers. Help her, encourage her to ask questions, teach her a dictionary. The creative writing practice is supposed to be free flowing but if your daughter wants aspects to be correct than help her along.

I don't believe you are hurting her by helping her along. Good luck and hang in there. Unfortunately, I am sure you will have more educational frustrations in the future, as we all will. But you are your child's biggest advocate and teacher...

here is what I know from four kids -

gifted and remedial kids suffer in the school system
a perfectly average kid is what is taught to

use your gut here - I GUARANTEE YOU if you teach her your way and share spelling with her she will not fail school!!

I could read and write before I hit Kindergarten - my mom taught me - left more time to goof around until my mom supplemented my studies or the teacher decided or until I was identified for gifted stuff :)

Dont rely on schools to teach - YOU are the best teacher!!

Personally, I would do what I wanted if I thought it was the right thing. If you want to help her, then go ahead. I do not see why you and your daughter should both be frustrated this much.

I feel your frustration. My oldest son always strugged with this, but he's doing 100% better now that he's in 5th grade. The problem ultimately comes down to the fact that our kids are too smart for this level of work. The school even encouraged us to have him skip a grade in school, but we decided not to do that. It can be frustrating, but we found that the best thing for our son was to try and go with the flow and help him as much as possible.

I can also tell you that my two middle children (now in 1st grade and 2nd grade) excelled at these types of exercises (because they weren't as advanced as our oldest). These types of exercises are designed to help the average kid at this grade level.

I think that you just need to do the best you can.

Good luck!

Hi D.,

I'm a 3rd grade teacher and do understand the writing method your daughter's teacher is using. The idea behind it is that you want the student to focus on the ideas of their story...learning to create characters, setting, problems & solutions in creative ways without being bogged down with the conventions of writing, i.e. spelling, puncuation, grammar, etc. However, I know some children, usually mini-perfectionists :) have a VERY hard time with this. In 3rd grade, it is easier to convince them that this method will make them better writers and their stories even more creative and fun, but for a perfectionist kindergartner, it seems that this concept would be harder to get across.

My suggestion would be to let your daughter know that you can help her fix all of her spelling AFTER she's written her story or paragraph, etc. Maybe if she knows that eventually it WILL be right, she'll have an easier time with the idea of not doing it perfect the first time.

Another thing I do in 3rd grade is set a timer and have my students write continuously until the timer goes off. For a kindergartner, maybe 5 minutes, then go back with her to correct spelling.

Just some ideas...I hope something helps! On the other hand, all kids are different and maybe she will be a better writer by knowing it's right the first time. I would hope her teacher would be somewhat flexible, especially if you've tried it her way first!

Good Luck, K.

I understand what you are saying. Please try the approach of saying to her "what sounds do you hear?" IE cat - k a t. As she starts hearing the sounds, she will begin spelling the words. You need to help her to do this independantly. When she makes the connection between the sounds and the letters, she will write too. Her "stories" will have a picture in a box at the top of the page and words below. If she makes the words correctly or not isn't the issue. It's that she can create the story at this point and retell it. If she is reading at a 3rd grade level, then she could enjoy this process.

Hang in there!

S.

My son(just finished 1st grade), also was very frustrated. He was actually a little behind in reading, and knew he didn't know how to spell the words correctly. He didn't want to write a paper knowing it was all spelled wrong. When he was at home writing , I would just help him spell, otherwise he would struggle and get too frustrated with doing it. However, in school I wasn't there, and the teacher encouraged him to make spelling errors, as a way to learn, and he did okay with this at school, I do believe he was a ittle slower than others though. By the end of the year, he was fine, I didn't have to help so much at home and his papers at school ended up much, much better as he learned to spell throughout 1st grade.
During Kindergarten, it didn't seem too much of a problem, because they rarely did writing at home, they did write some at school, but just short stories. A few sentences and some pictures.

I am sure that the teacher is looking at the class in general when explaining these things. Your daughter is obviously not the average 5 year old. The approach the teacher is taking may work with the majority of the children, but it will not work for all of them. Every teacher deals with this type of thing every year. CHildren learn in very individual ways. In your daughter's class there will be children that have no clue what the letter A looks like. At the other end, is your daughter. The teacher is trained to accomidate a wide range of skill level in her classroom. For your sake I hope she is very good at it! I think you need to pay close attention to what is going on in the classroom becase this can be a challenging situation for all involved. With your daughter being so advanced, do a little research, find ways to help her and the teacher deal with the struggles ahead. Advanced kids often get bored, distracted and even misbehave in these situations because they are not being challenged enough. Good Luck!

I agree with everyone on the why they do the stories - but the how part seems sad. I see this with two nephews in the public schools here - they teach to a low standard and really do not do much for any child who excels at anything. Unfortunately, those children usually become bored, and then get into trouble because they are acting up, or talking, etc. I would recommend that you check out some options, such as school of choice, private school or charter schools. I did a lot of research on charter schools, because a new one is opening here in the fall in Roseville, and I'm sending my son there for kindergarten. It's a good alternative to private if you cannot afford it because it's tuition free.

Hi D.!

How wonderful that you are blessed with such a wonderfully gifted young lady! And what an awesome responsibility you have in helping her to use and grow this wonderful gift!!

What I believe the teacher is trying to do is to get the students to create stories without them having to worry about how to write it down exactly/correctly as they would see it in a book. Developmentally, this age can create wonderful and complex stories and music. However, if they are then asked to write it down "right" a lot of their original thoughts are lost because they don't have the advanced skills in place to transfer their wonderful creations into a concrete form. (For instance, I was an elementary music teacher. Kindergarten students are able to create wonderful songs with varying tempos, pitches, lyrics and with movement. But if I ask them to write it down in "musical notes".. because they don't have this skill mastered, it takes away from their learning and creativity. 4 and 5 year olds want to please adults and do things "right", so they sacrifice a high level of creativity when forced to make it concrete. Does this make sense??)
I think where the teacher might be coming from is that she is trying to develop and encourage the higher ordered thinking and then eventually they will get around to getting it down on paper the right way. Her concern may be that your daughter may be to focused on doing things right that she misses out on the higher thinking and creativity. At this young age they really and truly need to get a foundation that they enjoy school and learning, and that they are not afraid to try new things and make mistakes.
My son also was an advanced reader/writer when he started school. He also was very focused on doing things "right" and if I could go back in time.. I would have encouraged other things for him than doing things the right way. A lot of times I knew he could do it right, so I would help him do it right. It wasn't until 3 grade I realized what a disservice I had done with him with all that focus on "right" so young. If he couldn't do things right the first time he fell apart.
If I could go back in time, I would have encouraged him to try and do new and different things.. and not point out things that needed to be corrected when he did. Instead I would just love whatever he showed me. Instead of giving him the correct spelling of words, I would let him sound them out and be happy and gushing about his wonderful effort. I wish I could take back all the focus on doing things right, and focus on loving all the effort he put into all his projects. (I'd let the teacher do more of the correcting, and I would be the biggest cheerleader!)

I hope this was of some help!
Best wishes,
Peace,
B.

I know there is a real weakness in writing in the upper elem and older, so this is probably in response to that. Its unfortunate that the teacher was so negative. Being able to read should never be a detriment. If I were you, I'd stop doing the "work" the teacher gave you, and just start telling stories together. And start a journal where she writes about her day with pictures, too. And give no correction. Just let go of the need to get somewhere with it this summer and she'll probably do fine. Her frustration is the worst element in this equation. If she has "trouble" with the approach in K then deal with it then. If there is another K teacher I'd request that one since it sounds like you are already at odds with this one and your daughter will feel that. If not, let the teacher know right away you think this approach will not be best for your daughter, and ask her how she deals with differences in ability in the classroom. Differentiated teaching is so important now that the gifted programs are giving way to remedial programs. Nothing but your child's feelings about school matter much in K. I just thought of a game I play with my kids. I start a story with a sentence, then each kid adds to it with a sentence. It gets very silly and is great fun. We write it but speaking them would be just as good. Takes the focus off "work".

Hmm... I would be frustrated with that, too. I don't have any kids in school yet, but my guess would be that they are focusing more on the creativity of the child rather than having to constantly correct them with spelling and things like that. I do understand why they would do that - it would be hard for someone so young to always hear that they are wrong, you know?

As for your daughter, I would try to see if she can get past wanting to do it "right" but saying, "just tell me a story - it's ok if you don't know how to spell all the words, we'll worry about that later. Try sounding them out." Maybe start small and have her just make a card for someone, and then work up to stories.

D. ~
I think that what they are trying to teach her is to let go, be creative. Not to concentrate on the imperfections. She will spell correctly in time. But one step at a time.
I am probably older than alot of people you're hearing from, I'm 43. I can remember being taught SRA reading. It was a type of phoenetic reading - the word late would be spelled laet to show that the a was hard, where pat would be pat to show the a was soft, plus it had some lines over some letters and stuff (it is hard to remember back that far!). They stressed reading and writing, but not worrying about the imperfections. This method was integrated the following year. I learned to read quickly, and I often am correcting other people's grammar, spelling, punctuations, etc. It didn't slow me down or surpress anything for me, or anyone I went to school with.
Sometimes there is alot of stress caused by trying to get things done perfectly, and it can be really stressful for some kids. If your daughter writes her stories and spells everything correctly, good for her! But she needs to not concentrate on the mistakes, just enjoy writing.
Good Luck!
D.

D.,
I am an elementary teacher and currently work as a Reading Recovery teacher. Writing is developmental and it is natural for children to go through phases during the process. If a child is so concernend with spelling everything correct, then he/ she won't write freely. Instead they become hung up on spelling. Since your daughter is reading, she probable has a core of words that she knows how to write correct. This is great. She is also past the phase of either scribbling, drawing or stringing random letters when writing. She understands that words work a certain way and in a certain order when reading. Instead of giving her a dictionary, which won't help, because if you don't know how to spell a word you won't be able to find it in the dictionary. Tell her to stretch the words out that she is trying to spell. She should be able to hear the sounds in words. She can then record the sounds that she can hear. This would be much more developmentally appropriate for her. She will then begin writing words that make sense to her. If she asks you if the word is spelled right, you can ask her if she can read it. If she can, then it is perfectly fine and normal. Here's an example: writing kat for cat or lic for like. if she is writing larger words, help her to clap the syllables and break the word into parts. Here's an example: Sun/day, she may write Sunda. I'm not exactly sure where she is, but children aslo go through a process when hearing the sounds in words. Usually they can hear the first sound first, tehn the last sound and finally the middle sound. Vowels are always confusing. If you work with her this way consistantly she should be fine. After she has written, you can check her story and if she is very close on a word, "lik for like", you can tell her, you are so close. I bet you can learn how to spell that word. There's a quiet "e" at the end, "like". This will make her feel good about herself and she will also build her core of known words. It will also help her to be a better reader. Remember not to do this with all the words in her story, just a couple. YOu don't want her to focus on spelling everything correct.
Hoe this helps.

My son just passed kindergarden.. his class was the same way.. They had to write stories and draw a picture of the story.. It didnt matter how he spelled just that he was writting best he could.. They dont get into spelling (with the exception of a few words they learn that yr) till 1st grade.. They want them to learn the sounds and how the sounds are in each word.. along with starting with a CAPITAL lettter and ending puncuation.. My son didnt know how to write anything but his name when he started and they kept these writing all year and showed us the progress at conferences.. which was amazing to see the progress.. in the begining he would only write a few words.. always spelled wrong and in the end of the yr most of the words were spelled very close and many sentences in a row.. Its their method now.. but it seems to work.. If your daughter can already spell and write a lot of words then she is probably far more advanced then the other kids in her class will be.. maybe they will place her in a higher writing class.. But if it was me.. I would just encourage her to write words out how she hears them and how she thinks they are spelled and worry less about the actual spelling right now. It should be a thing of perfection.. not at kindergarden level.

It sounds like you are doing a fabulous job of teaching your daughter on your own and may want to look into homeschooling her for her kindergarten year. You may find you enjoy it so much you will never want to send her! Our time is short with our children and I like to have more of it than a stranger. My daughter was also taught this way in public schools and by 5th grade was terribly behind with her reading. We are now homeschooling and she is doing great. On the flip side, my 15 year old son who is gifted(he was reading at 2 and they had no where to place him for reading in 6th grade so he was an aide instead) was doing terrible in middle school since he was bored and felt he knew more than his teachers. Now that he is homeschooled he is able to work at his level and is much happier. I wish I had known more about this option from the start and never even sent my kids to public school.