Friend with Breast Cancer :(

It is so hard when you hear that news. I lost 4 friends to cancer within 1.5 yrs. I currently have a friend who has been battling breast cancer ( which has spread). So some thoughts not knowing what stage she has and her prognosis… hire a cleaning service to come clean her house, send her a journal, gift card for a date with her husband, picture time @ sears/etc for her with her daughter, prayer. As someone else said - being there for her, praying for her, her husband, her little girl, etc.

Hang in there!

Obvisouly my situation is going to be different but I will tell you my story. My mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer about 4 years ago, knowing she would loose her hair while going threw all the treatments, I scheduled an appointment on her birthday, together her and I went to my hair dresser. I had long hair, to the middle of my back, with her by my side I cut off 18 inches of hair, and had it donated to Locks For Love, to had it made into a wig for Cancer patients. I also support her by walking in the Susan G Komen Walks, light luminaries, donating, I also bought her a Pink Ribbon bracelet, send cards to remind her we are thinking of her and also listened when she had no one else to talk to. Listening and letting them spill out there emotions is the best thing that you can do. They need alot of emotional support. Get her address and send cards, flowers, little things that show you are thinking of her and the family during this hard time. Hope this helps

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer twice (most recently in Dec) and everyone you can imagine sent her cards, flowers, jewelry, edible arrangements, etc. The ones who lived locally stopped by with food to reheat for meals often (soup, lasagna, stuffed shells, chili, cake, cookies, etc). Since you live far away and can't drop in to see her I would suggest a thoughtful card with a nice note in it from you and some other sort of gesture, either flowers, plant, fruit basket, edible arrangement, etc. One thing I would also keep up with is continuing to send her thoughtful notes and cards periodically. I know it can be easy to email (which is nice to get a nice email from a friend) but getting a nice handwritten card/note every once in awhile just to show her you're still thinking of her may brighten her day. I know my mom saved all of her cards that were sent to her.

My Uncle just had cancer and went through radiation. He lives in another state and we couldn't do much. So, we sent him a card every week just letting him know we were thinking about him and that we cared. I tried to find funny ones that weren't just the GET WELL ones since I knew he would have a long road ahead of him before he would "GET WELL". They were more like encouragement cards and just to make him laugh.

As a recent cancer survivor myself (diagnosed in June, 2008 with Hodgkins lymphoma the day before my son's second birthday and just before my daughter was 11 weeks old), I have a different perspective.

All thoughtful gestures are appreciated. But, it's really a personal thing as to which are most needed and which will go to waste (unfortunately). A lot, too, depends on what her treatment regimen is. If she has chemo vs. radiation vs. surgery or a combination of any of those, her needs will be considerably different.

For us, meals almost always went to waste. My husband is a picky eater, our son was still quite young, and I had little appetite when being treated. We were OK with sandwiches, scrambled eggs, and cereal when I couldn't cook. But, gift cards to restaurants were VERY welcome.

The NICEST thing you can do for her is be there. When you're facing a possible life-treatening illness, you need to feel that people want you to fight. I just wanted people to spend time with me. Call, write e-mails, send jokes, send silly carepackages once/month, send your favorite books, get her a magazine subscription that has nothing to do with cancer.

Wear a LIVESTRONG bracelet in her honor, and don't take it off. Send her 10 to give to people who want to support her. Send her a LIVESTRONG shirt.

Donate to the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in her local area. Start a team and travel to do the race with her the next time it's in her local area.

Get her the book, "Crazy Sexy Cancer" (it can be risque in parts, just a warning).

Just BE there for her. And be there today, tomorrow, 3 months from now, 3 years from now. Survivorship was one of the hardest parts for me (along with losing my hair). Most people don't think to ask about how cancer still affects me, and I think most people have stopped caring in many ways.

I have done this for a couple of different friends and it was very well received. At the Dollar Tree - they have some great gift bags that look like little purses. (one year I did one for a man - and it looked like a wicker fishing basket). I filled the bag with little silly things. Chapstick, deck of cards, travel shower gel, lotion, fuzzy socks, hot pink nail polish, a (bon bons are in the makeup section of walmart - and everything is $1) - a bon bon lip gloss that had beads that spelled out "sassy", breathmints, neco wafter, etc...... I wrapped each item in tissue paper with silver stars (curtesy of dollar tree) I typed out a little note on fancy paper - in curly font - that said
"When the going gets tough,....
The tough go shopping, and who doesn't love a new bag?
When you are feeling a little blue, and don't know what to do
Once a day, grab your new purse, and reach for the stars.
Hopefully you will find a little something to put a smile on your face
Feel better soon,
We are thinking about you and you're in our prayers!"

I hope that this helps. Also - another friend set up a meal scheduling calendar on facebook - and we are all signing up to deliver either a meal or a meal gift card on different days - to help take some of the load off of the patient and the caregivers. I think you'll find the link for setting up a calendar - or maybe one has already been set up for your friend on
mealbaby.com Good luck!

When my friend was diagnosed I put together a care package for her. I think I found info on the Susan G Komen site but things like plastic forks and spoons (in pink pf course) because it said that going through chemo gives a metallic taste in the mouth so regular silverware is annoying. I think I put moisturizer or chapstick because it says that chemo can be drying. And of course a note and a thinking of you token