It seems like more and more young parents are being diagnosed with cancer. I have a friend who recently was diagnosed with breast cancer at at early age. After her surgery she will need chemo and maybe radiation. I'd like to put together something for her friends who would like to contribute a meal for her self, son and spouse. I know she may not feel like eating but meals will be important and if we can provide mealss it will be one less thing her or her spouse will have to stress about. Those of oyu who have participated in this in the past can you tell me how it works. I was thinking if we could do it 4 nights a week because some leftovers may exist. Please help me on how to put this together.
We lost a very dear friend last year very unexpectedly. This website will help you coordinate meals with a group of people..
We also had people volunteer to go to the grocery store, help with laundry, yard work and child care..
Our moms group uses a care calendar website whenever someone has a baby, has surgery, or any other need that might arise. They send out an email to the whole group and we all sign up on the day and with what we want to bring. You can put in specific diet restrictions, preferences (hubby won't eat onions, peanut allergy, loves italian, etc.). It really is the coolest website. You can look and see that someone is already bringing pizza this week so you can sign up for next week. Plus the family knows which nights they will need to fend for themselves. You can send out the email to everyone who might want to contribute, and there is no pressure. Be sure to ask your friend if she has a church group, playgroup, or anyone else that might want to be included. Since she is not the one asking, it is less awkward. It makes the planning of it so simple. Best wishes to your friend and her family.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December and had surgery in January. I am undergoing chemo now and I use a website called Care Calendar. www.carecalendar.org. You can use it to plan meals, rides, visits, childcare, etc. It has been so helpful to me and it really helps to make the logistics of this manageable. When I had my surgery, my son was 19 months old and my daughter had just turned 4 (about a week before my surgery). I am a SAHM, so this had a huge impact on our family (I wasn't able to hold my son for more than 6 weeks). It doesn't appear that we live near each other, but I pray that your friend will get the support she needs. You're a great friend to do this for her. The calendar asks you to provide someone to manage it and I think that's great that you want to do that for her! I have a friend who has been my "care manager" as well and I couldn't live without her.
I would also recommend the Caring Bridge website for your friend to post updates about her condition and treatment, if she wants. www.caringbridge.org That way, she only has to post updates in one place and everyone can go there to read about it. It really helps reduce the amount of phone calls, emails and questions she will get. She can share what she is comfortable with, but everyone will have at least some information. I found it very helpful. I am actually very candid in my journals and I find it therapeutic to write, but again, it is great to use for informational purposes. I would also be happy to talk to your friend via phone or email if she just needs some answers or support from someone who has been through this with small children. Again, we don't live close, but I know what a tough road this journey can be, but I also know that there is light on the other side. I am doing great now (even though I am still in chemo), so I would be happy to share any information I can with her if she is in need of that. Just send me a private message on this site and I will get you my email address and/or phone number.
I will be praying for your friend. Many blessings!
I haven't had to support a friend with cancer yet (knock on wood), but did just recently hear of this non-profit that provides another service your friend would no doubt value -- free housecleaning services to cancer patients. Here's a link for more info.
http://www.cleaningforareason.org/
You're a great friend for helping her out with meals! I'm sure she will really appreciate it and just the fact that friends care about her so much. I hope her treatment is a big success.
ETA: You might just ask your friend about her preferences for how many meals a week and when. She may also have some dietary/food preferences (esp. her son), too.
I had uterine cancer, and luckily woopee I feel fine and did not have chemo. Anyway, the people at my church signed up and helped. They made a list, then exactly like your plan, they brought it four nights a week. and the weekends were ours. They brought chicken several times and you can reuse chicken for so many things. They also brought meatloaves, pork and vegetables. We were so well fed and It was so nice and helpful. My husband was pooped from work so he came home to a nice hot meal. I will never forget how kind these people were. So God bless you for thinking of this lady.
There was also one lady who gave me a list of addresses so I could write thank you notes. And that was very helpful.
I will pray for your friend.
Ask your friend, she will know what they need, I would think 6 days a week because if there are leftovers they will be eaten for lunch, there may be one of you that would fix enough, say stew, for several meals that can be held over for a second days meals. The husband will likely be home for a while with her unless a mother or other relative comes to help out.
care calendar is a great tool. I recently used it for a friend who was put on bedrest for several months. You can add different "tasks". I did meals and play time (she had two toddlers). You might want to add a play time too for the son. The only thing she said was that it was stressful if people came for playtime and didn't bring food/snacks for the kids - because then she had to figure it out. I agree with the posting about grocery shopping. It isn't so much the actual meal preparation that is going to be hard, but having to think about and organize what you want and need to get is a beating when you are emotionally drained! They will greatly appreciate food and healthy snacks (fresh stuff like fruit and cheeses taste so much better than the non-perishable stuff that you can keep forever!) Her family is in my prayers.
Go to this website. it is the best site out there for setting up a meal schedule. send it to everyone you know. I had breast cancer and had people bringing meals. it is so nice to be able to see the schedule. to know what your having or what others are bringing so you don't bring the same spaghetti meal every day lol. good luck to your friend.
I also have a friend with cancer. She has an 8 year old daughter. One friend took on the responsibility to do a schedule. From cleaning house to fixing food. So, if that will be you, great, do you have excel spreadsheet? Get all her friends and families email. Send out an email and tell them what you would like to do and then make a calendar and fill it in. Send it out.
Try to make sure that everyone brings meals that are easy to clean up and great at freezing or eating as left overs. Help picking up the house, grabbing the son from school or after practices if he is old enough for that. Also, she found that people taking the daughter (in this case the son) for the weekend once in a bit after chemo helped her and her husband out alot. Getting time to just be together and talking about things they didn't want to talk about in front of their child.
Also, even tho she didn't eat sometimes, she was happy knowing her family was eating and were good.
I think it is great of you to do this. I will pray for your friend along with mine.
Good Luck and take care.
In addition to the great advice given here, frozen meals would be wonderful. There are many books, like 'Frozen Assets' that teach how to make high volume meals that are freezer friendly. With that in mind, try to relate her diet to her health a little. Pick foods that are not irrationally unpleasant on the way back up, and check out this little site: http://www.chemocare.com/eatingwell/tips_for_managing_eat...
My husband has had lots of experience throwing up due to surgeries and one 'food' he says is alright coming back up is carrot juice. Bolthouse Farms (found in produce) is cheaper than making it yourself and I think it tastes better.
I hope this helps her, and you!
I recently came across this website for coordinating meals. Best of luck to your friend!
