Four Months Pregnant and Feeling Down...

I was down with my first, second and third. Throughout that whole preg. I think you start having doubts and you wonder if having a baby is the right hting to have decided to do. You are most likely sunconsciencely worried about after having the baby, having time for your son, your hub, new baby and yourself. there is some much going on in your head you are and are not aware of your body is just shutting down. your super hero/mom instinctcomes back fast once nb is here. all the stress and being down will turn around. you may notice just as an fyi alot more of the baby blues or ppd with the second. dont be afraid to ask for help or take something for it. i finally had to after my third. i couldnt handle the ppd anymore. I wish you the best of luck and if you need to talk you have alot of ears here and shoulders to...and always remember this to shall pass.

I am about to deliver #2 in 6 weeks, and when I look back on this pregnancy, the first half stands out for the same reasons you mentioned. I felt so blah, so guilty for "doing this" to my daughter, so unsure, and so sick!! There is such a thing as prenatal depression, it's just not talked about so much. My dr. recommended fish oil capsules; the DHA helps with all that stuff in the brain. It worked, but what really helped was patience from my husband, seeing that 5 month ultrasound, and starting to get the nursery ready. That helped me to remember why I was doing this. These babies will arrive, it will be hard, but we'll get into a new routine and love it. In the meantime, I am keeping my options open for medication should post partum feel extra sticky this time. Best of luck, and realize you certainly are not alone!!!
K.

A.L., honey- are you kidding???? ''' no reason ''' -- YES< YOU DO have a reason to feel down and stressed- work, child, pregnancy- household --- your plate is running over!!!! Our culture LIES to us when it says we women can be fantastic wives, mothers, employees AND still look pretty, sexy, upbeat and ------------------------- PIFFLE!!!! Give yourself permission to take some time daily to rest, read, watch dumb-tv- or whatever helps you feel better--- ---

Blessings,
Old Mom
aka-- J.

I've been having the same problem, but it seems to get better when I get sun and when I'm well rested. Having the understanding and support of your husband is huge too. Concentrate on taking care of yourself. There is always something to do, especially when you're expecting and have a toddler. I also felt like talking to someone helped. But mostly, sleep and sunshine. Looks like you are getting a lot of good advice!

I felt the same way with my fourth. I was really excited but then started feeling depression, overwhelmed, anxious, and sad. Then I guilted myself for feeling this way when it should be a happy time. Don't do that to yourself. Have patience with yourself and realize you have crazy hormones right now. Definitely take your vitamins and possibly iron for more energy. Express your concerns to your doctor. Take it easy and enjoy the time you can spend with your toddler. Especially watch for depression after you have the baby. I have experienced post-partum just with my two daughters and not my two sons. I take Zoloft which works quite well but has some negative side effects. But it is the only safe drug while nursing. I'll try something else when I stop nursing.

When I found out I was pregnant with my second child I had a toddler as well. I worked fulltime and commuted 45 minutes each way. We had one in daycare and a new home, lots of stress. When I called to tell my husband we were going to have another baby we were both in shock, not planned. Anyway, for the first 4-5 month my husband was in denial, I can remember calling my mom crying because my husband thought we had made a mistake. I remember telling him that it was not a mistake, a baby! Then we went to our ultrasound and it really hit home we were having another baby! I think he took the stress of having another child close together harder than I did.

That was turning a corner for us, we were afraid our first would grow up too fast, and he did. But, God knew it was the best for us, because our boys are the best of friends!

We now have a daughter as well and she is 5 years younger than our second child. This has been wonderful because I now work part time and have more time with all of my kids.

I guess the moral of the story is we all handle pregnancy differently and have all kinds of stress. Especially when we are having a second or third child. No one else can know how you feel and the hormones are crazy. Hang in there everything will work out great!

I started feeling really tired and stressed too, it turned out later when I had my blood tested that I was anemic. My OB put me on iron and within a week I couldn't belive how much better I felt! Talk to your OB, it could be something like this.

I was the same way about that time. Part of it is lack of sleep and/or energy because you are incubating a young one. Part of it may be something lacking in your diet. Talk to your doctor about pick me up foods, and try to get outside in the sunshine once in a while. It will pass, probably before your third trimester.

You say that you have no reason to be stresed out but you do....I would be if I had a small son & was working part time. That's alot! During pregnancy, we should be cared for & it's hard enough with a small child. If there's any way you can not work, I think that would help alot, because we are not only talking about your health, btu the health of the baby too. I was really sick for the first 4 months & then got alot better. SO the worst is almost over. Good luck & i hope you are able to do some more mommy-relaxation time.

hi al, iam a mother of five,ihave severalgrandchildren and greatgrandchildren. as i recall my second child was the hardest for me to have.ifelt kind of like you do at that time.but everything went well.it was a boy. just look at it as a blessing.each pregnancy is different.i am sure your husband and your son will love having a new baby around. try to put your mind at ease by shopping for the new baby and let your son and husband help you. it will be july efore you know it an you will be looking at a beautiful new daughter or son. take some iron tablets and also calcium .this helps your body to feel better.drink some camiale tea it will ease your sick feeling in your tummy. just some suggestions from an old granny and mother.goodluck toyou and your family.

I didn't suffer from post-partum depression with any of my children, but sometime in my last trimester with my third child, I was diagnosed with anti-partum depression. It was really strange for me because I didn't know what the problem was...I had two great children, happily awaitng the third, was lucky enough to be a SAHM, finances were good, (unlike these days)I really had nothing to complain about. I had always thought depression was just an excuse when the going got tough. That's why I was confused when I began developing those feelings...it was a good life. You can imagine my shock, then, when the Dr. told me I had anti-partum depression! It's rare and many doctors don't know it can happen, particularly a male doctor who has never been pregnant. I'm not saying this is what's going on with you, rather just please don't discount it. Any of us who have suffered any type of depression knows how debilitating the condition can be. My doctor was concerned enough to call my husband right then during that visit. It can be treated...I opted for a few visits with a counselor, talks with my husband and the realization even though a person likes motherhood, pregnancy, nursing and has a great life, nothing will ever be perfect. I think part of it was that I was feeling overwhelmed with life at the time and to this day, I don't know why! Everything was going the way I had planned. And know this...it's not a pre-curser to post-partum depression. I was offered drugs, which I declined and the doc kept a good eye on me, we were aquaintances who saw each other outside the pre-natal visits and he always asked how I was doing. The greatest thing about anti-partum depression is that the cure is delivery of the child, which the doc told me. Of course, I was skeptical, but he was right!

Good luck to you and your family, A L, and I've already said a prayer for you. ~Mary~

Hi! I just wanted to remind you that you're not alone. I've felt the same way. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's really tiring to be pregnant while being a mom to a 17 month old! I found it important to find a balance between allowing myself to rest a lot and being productive. Someone told me once that when you're pregnant, even at rest your body is working as hard as if you're hiking up a mountain. And don't forget that this is the time of year that our bodies are also fighting against colds and flu and the almost-spring blues. So put your feet up, read your child's favourite book twenty times, and sip tea! So on the one hand I'd listen to your body and take it easy. On the other hand, if I get a little productive, I can shake the blues more easily. Can you find something (other than trying to keep up with a toddler and the resulting mess) to accomplish? For me, it helps to write during nap time (a card to someone, or an essay capturing life with my kids) or to visit an elderly neighbor. Even if the rest of the day accomplishes nothing, I did something that won't get dirty in an hour or I even made a difference in someone's life. Sunshine and fresh air help too! All the best! It will get better!

Get outside in the fresh air with your boy when you can for long walks (vitamin D). If your doc agrees fish oil (vitamin E-chew the capsules). Rest now, nap when your son naps!!! Naps come before house work.

PS It is okay to feel the way you do. The second time around is harder when you have a toddler. I found every thing was either on the floor so I had to kneel and then I had to put it up high so I had to stand up. This feeling will pass.

Congrats on number two!

I had been feeling down since we moved here not used to all the gray and rain, I was taking fish oil because it's so good for me, but my midwife told me to take 2 a day for mood (while I was pregnant) and it's fantastic. It works great for my mood and it's not a chemical ant1-depressant. Ask your doc and then give it a try! I still take 2...

Hey A.L.,

I suffered from depression in pregnancy. You should talk to your OB about this. Women who suffer from depression in pregnancy are much more likely to have post partum depression. I wish I had gotten help when I was pregnant as the crash after I had the baby was really bad. I just didn't realize what was going on. It could just be that you are tired and stressed out. However, it could be more. Talk to your doctor, he or she may be able to help. Good luck.

Hi there
I am currently 9 weeks and feeling the same way. I feel so guilty for not being able to give my daughter 100% right now. She is 20 months and very active. The house is a wreck because I don't have the energy to clean right now and my husband is pretty busy with work and helping take care of our daughter. So, I don't have too much advice at this point. But, I do know it will be worth it once we have that baby in our arms. I am going to try to have a local middle school girl come over to play with my daughter and help me clean. I have just come to terms with the fact, that I can't do this by myself right now. Hopefully, we will get some more energy as our pregnancies progress.

Hi A L,

I would say increase your OMega 3's that has always helped me...and pregnant or not is a huge part of fighting depression. Also, there is prenatal depression which could be what is going on. Will keep you and family in my prayers. :)

Hugs,

K.S.

I am with my second pregnancy and I was SOOOOO exhausted it was unbearable. Two doctors ignored me telling them this. I finally got one to test my iron (you should have thyroid checked too) and found out I was anemic. After a month of Iron pills I feel a million times better.

If you have constant nausea and vomiting then ask your doctor about Zofran. It is an anti-vomit pill that is FANTASTIC! The great thing about it is that it doesnt' tire you out like th other ones do.....The bad thing about it is that it can give you headaches.

As for mood think about how lucky you are to be going through this with a husband that loves you. I am 9 months pregnant now and getting a divorce from a husband who decided to cheat on me while I was pregnant!. It can always be MUCH WORSE!!!

High amounts of omega fats can pretty much prevent or elimate pregnancy related depression. I recommend KRILL OIL (available online or at Vitamin Shoppe) as it's the most absorbable and you don't burp it up. Also, you should consider taking a large dose of Vitamin D3. Nearly everyone is low on vitamin D this time of year, which is one reason people's immune systems get down in the winter. You need much more vitamin D than the RDA. I take a multi-vitamin plus another vitamin that has Vit. D and my levels were still low at my last Dr's Appointment. Good luck!

So sorry you're feeling down. I sympathize. I'm 9 wk preg with my second child. I too have been feeling overly down and everything seems to stress me out, even though I shouldn't be stressed. It's hard to feel this way. Have you talked to your husband about any of this? If you need some one to talk to that can relate...feel free to write me. :D ~B.