My four and half month old daughter has always been a really bad sleeper. She needs constant movement to stay asleep. She has been sleeping in a cradle swing for almost two months now. We know she is going to eventually grow too big for the swing but we have tried everything ween her. We recently saw the pedi who was visibly appalled that she is still sleeping in a swing. She will sleep in her crib (at night and during the day) for exactly 40 minutes and then wake up. We have tried music, rocking ,jiggling , bouncing, reading, noise machines, back rubs, baths and putting her down "drowsy but not asleep". She wakes after 40 minutes every single time so its clearly related to her sleep cycle. At night she wakes up screaming because she cannot settle back. My partner's family and our pedi assume we are going to let her cry it out. I do not feel comfortable with this method particularly with a child this young who has never slept more than an hour at a time in her crib/bassinet. It seems cruel and it bothers me as a new mom to get so much pressure to do so. She is also still breastfeeding and on the smaller side for her age so I know she still may need to get up for feedings at night. Sometimes during the day she will nap for two hours or more if I lie with her but I work until midnight or 1am most nights so I'm not really available for co-sleeping arrangements at night. (she's sleepy by 6-7pm)Has anyone had a similar experience and survived it?
Thank you for your advice (and support). The last couple of nights we have slowly started to try and wean her. We shut the swing off after she fell asleep and she stayed sleeping both times. She has been napping a bit in the crib during the day too. I think this is a good start but I won't stress out about it if we aren't successful in weaning her right now. It was also nice to hear from others who are or have been in a similar situation. Thank you!
Have you tried swaddling? My son slept in a swing for the 1st 3 months of his life too. I think he liked the motion, but also the confined snuggly space. So the trasnition to the crib was fine because we swaddled him.
-S.
My 16 month old slept in a swing for 7 or 8 months. She is now 16 months and sleeps though the night in her crib. The transition was tough -- we had to let her scream it out for about 3 or 4 nights but after that she got the idea that cribs were for sleeping in.
To be honest, i woudn't worry about it. When the time comes for her to sleep in the crib you will make the transition and she will not be worse off for it. You also have to think that if you are not getting any sleep -- what kind of mommy will you be for the baby?
If you are afraid of the baby outgrowing whatever you have her in now a normal swing with harness straps would work.
I got lucky and didn't really have trouble with my little one's sleep as an infant but as a toddler and preschooler it was horrible. I found this book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and I found many wonderful tips in it. It was a follow-up of the book The No-Cry Sleep Solution which was geared toward infants only. It's written by elizabeth pantley and her website actually has quite a bit of info on it as well. the link is: http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/
I hope it gives you some ideas. good luck.
They make baby hammocks that look really comfortable and may do the trick. I agree about not letting a child of any age "cry it out". You know your child and your gut tells you the right thing to do, stick with it, no matter what others may say. There will always be something that others will disapprove of.
The upright position may be because of her belly feels better. A touch of acid reflux may prevent her from sleeping very long laying down. She will grow out of this, if it is a problem.
Hi A.,
I remember these days!! It was so challenging to get our daughter to sleep! She had grown out of the cradle and was still too small for her crib - eventually, I was able to transition her into her crib and now she asks to go in (she is 2 now!) BUT - I remember months 3-6 were SO challenging! My daughter did have reflux and spent many a night in her swing (I was able to turn it off once she was asleep) and some nights in her car seat, and even a few months next to me in my bed, after having been nursed to sleep because that was what worked.
So - for now, I would recommend doing what works! Particularly since you are working, you need your sleep. My pedi kept telling us breast fed babies take between 4-6 months to figure out sleeping, and mine took until she was 5 1/2 months old!!
My parents bought us the book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution - gentle ways to help your baby sleep through the night" by E. Pantley. I couldn't let my precious little one cry it out either, at least not until she was 6-8 months old (it didn't take that long, I just don't remember exactly when we did decide to try it). Maybe it was around 8 months of age, and it only took her 3 nights, and she only cried for 5 minutes the first night.
So, anyway I hope some of this is helpful! Do what works for you, read some good sleep books (the other good one is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"; Ferber is good, too, even if you don't want to let your baby CIO, He has some good ideas and good explanations about the sleep cycle.
Good Luck, and know you are not alone. It is tricky and you do need your rest. You are the Mom, trust yourself to do what feels right for you and for your family. You can always blame the Dr. - i.e., "my pedi says she is too young to let CIO,". My Dr. always said we could blame her for whatever we needed to to have peace in the family!
Good Luck!
E.
Unfortunately, I don't have any answers for you. I have a four month old who also doesn't sleep much, unless of course I'm holding him or laying with him. I too am not comfortable letting him "cry it out" and have tried techniques from both the Baby Whisperer and the No Cry Sleep Solution. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone,
Magie
In my opinion, you've got to deal with this situation now. Soon your daughter is going to outfrown her swing and then what? You will both get more and longer rest when she's sleeping in her crib and you're in your bed. I understand disliking the cry it out method, but it would probably only take 3-4 nights before this cycle is broken and she's in a new one.
Hi A.!
Are we the same person???? I am going through the EXACT same thing right now. My almost 4mth old son sleeps in the swing every night. I can get 7 straight hours of sleep in a row with him in the swing. It's now becoming a problem b/c he wants to move and my husband and i can hear him at night wiggling. If we put him in his crib to sleep, he sleeps for only a couple of hours. It's frustrating. I've started having my son take ALL of his naps in the crib. At night I start him off sleeping in his swing and when he wakes for a feeding I try putting him in his crib afterwards. It doesn't always work, but I have to keep trying. I compleletly understand your frustration. I'm in the same boat!
The only thing I have to add is if this has been happening all the time and continues to happen through all the things you try, look at what she is eating. If it breast milk, what are you eating? I breastfed and all my children had a hard time while nursing and afterwards with dairy. My now 18 month old woke up constantly until I stopped eating dairy. After that she slept through the night pretty much. If you are using formula, try a different formula.
Good luck!!
Hi A.,
Your situation is just like ours was with our younger daughter. She came home and wouldn't sleep in her bassinett, screamed, hated it, so we would put her in her swing and off she would go. Up until she was about 4 months old we did this because it was the ONLY method for anyone to get some sleep, especially her. At about 4 months we started puttig her in her crib and to our surprise, she didn't mind it at all. She actually threw us off because we thought we were in for a tough run, but she enjoyed it. I would say go with your mom "gut feelings" if you think your daughter needs to feed during the night, then feed her. 4 months is still young for her to sleep through the night, some do, some don't. You will eventually have to put her into a crib because like you said, she'll grow out of the swing, but make it an easy transition, try doing naps during the day in the crib and avoiding the swing all together. We actually sold our swing so in the event we did have trouble with the crib, it would be out of sight out of mind. The cry it out method is a tough method, but believe me, it has worked. It doesn't make you a terrible mom by any means either. Good luck
Have you tried swaddling? You don't say one way or another in your message, so I'm just assuming that you don't. We read "Happiest Baby on the Block" just before our 2.5 month old daughter was born and found it to make a lot of sense- we
've been doing most of what he suggests since day one- especially the swaddling- and have had great success with it, both for nap time and nighttime. I would very highly recommend checking it out (either the book or the accompanying video) and investing in a blanket that will work for your little one. If she's small as you say, you might try the miracle blanket (it has really worked miracles for us!)
This is a concept that seems to be new to a lot of folks and that may include your pedi and family members. Find what works for you all (including a swing- you're certainly not the only family who uses this method- I've heard of lots!) and go with it!
Good luck
Huge hugs! When my twins were infants the only place they would sleep for any amount of time was in their swings side by side. So that is where they slept (until they were seven months old). then they transitioned to their cribs slowly first by introducing them to them during naptime. I also had a 20 month old when my twins where born, so I was happy to have them sleep anywhere. They just turned four and they sleep normal in their beds now. if she is happy in her swing let her sleep there.
OMG! I hear you and feel your pain. My now 18 month old was the same way! I never (until 5 months) let him cry it out either. I was so sleep deprived and miserable but loved my first and only son and wanted to make him happy and not cry himself to sleep. But finally by 5 months old I said that is it we all need our sleep and you need to learn to fall asleep on your own. I went by the book called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth, MD. It worked wonderfully!
It is sort of like the cry it out method but trust me it worked and he sleeps so awesome now for bedtime and naps and goes to sleep all on his own after about 5-10 mins.
Try it with naps first the first day you try it along with bedtime as well. It will take anywhere from 3-7 days but it works and you will be so happy after wards!!!
I am due in October and I will not let this baby run my life and keeps us all sleep deprived! If he is not a good sleeper I will start at 6 weeks old letting him cry himself to sleep. Good luck, FYI...I do not like that book for toddlers though, only good for newborns and infants!!
FYI, my son slept in the swing while going, vibrating bouncy seat or in my arms until 5 months old. Not a good way to get your baby to sleep, I am glad I know that now. See we all learn from our first child!
Sounds so much like my daughter when she was that age. One word: AMBY. We were also very uncomfortable with letting her cry it out - how cruel it seems! We did lots of research and found a very cool infant "crib" called the Amby. Its more like a hammock, and doesn't swing on its own, but when the baby moves in her sleep (often when she was starting to wake and stir), it causes the Amby to rock gently. Our daughter wouldn't sleep anywhere but our arms for 3.5 months - then we got the Amby and she transitioned fairly easily. She grew out of it around her first birthday. Now she's 21 months and naps and sleeps in her crib just fine (although we do let her come into our bed in the middle of the night if she can't settle back in her crib - so we co-sleep maybe 40% of the time. And I like the co-sleeping snuggles :) )
Anyways, good luck! oh, and another bonus - the Amby travels VERY well! Easy for road trips to see family!
they make a wonderful little thing that goes under the matress and vibrates the crib. The only place i've seen it is babies r us. its by first years i think
Ahhhh yes, I went through the same thing with both of my children... One is 3 1/2 and the best sleeper I could ever ask for and the other one is 9 months and sleeps fine in his crib now. We let them sleep in the swing until THEY were ready to transition. They would both sleep through the night in the swing, but in their crib they would wake frequently. I was exhausted, they were exhausted and I didn't think I would survive it! We had a video monitor for both, so we could see what they were doing. We didn't have too much difficulty transitioning either of them, but they were close to 7 or 8 months with our oldest and 6 months with our youngest. I was told by many people, when I was in the situation, not to worry about it, it will work itself out, and that was soooo true for me! I stressed about it and they are both fine! So, try to wait it out for a while, if her sleep becomes more difficult in the swing (which is what happened to us) then it is time to move her to the crib. It may be difficult for a few nights (we didn't let our boys cry it out, we just got up with them for a few nights) but they made the adjustment fine. GOOD LUCK!!! I have been there and it will work itself out in time!
Please don't feel bad about the swing thing. My son used to wake up crying in the middle of the night. Most times the only way we could get him back to sleep was in the swing. It's a phase and they grow out of it. You and your baby will be much happier if you both get the sleep you need.
I agree that the cry it out method is awful.. but if you scale it back a little, it's not so bad.. don't follow it exactly and shorten the times and see if that works.. it usually takes a few days to be successful so start on a thursday or friday. they sell bouncy seats with a vibration attached, have you looked into something like that for a mattress?? maybe The Right Start in Burlington will have something like that??
Get the book:
The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer (Paperback)
by Harvey Karp
and look into their ideas..ther eis hope..she doe sneed her sleep and sleeping all th eitme inthe swing will not help on road trips, visiitng, the store..
You may want to look into the Amby Baby Motion Bed. Recommended and endorsed by Dr. Sears. www.ambybaby.com
Also, will your partner sleep with her at night while you're working? That's the only way my dd will go to sleep while I waitress late.
Could you buy a electric swinging bassinet? that way she'll still get the swinging motion but will still become accustomed to being in a crib like environment.
Good luck!
R.
Hi A.! Sleep training is SO, SO hard. But 4 months is the perfect age to start, so you're doing great!
First off - I WISH I had known this piece of advice when my LO was 4 months old, so I hope this info helps you:
Babies sleep cycles last about 40-45 min, so it is NO surprise she wakes at the 40 min mark. Some babies can easily transistion from one sleep cycle to the next, and some can't - especially those who cannot put themselves to sleep.
A lot of the day time sleep sorts itself out when the baby is 6-8 months old.
So, with that being said there is a technique called - Wake to Sleep. Basically what you do is at the 30-35 min mark, rub your little one's head or cheek - just enough to BARELY make her stir. You are trying to start another sleep cycle, not wake her. You might have to try this a few times, and once you get it right, you'll need to do it for EVERY nap for 4 or 5 days til she can start to sleep longer on her own.
As far as getting her to fall sleep on her own, I would not recommend CIO. I think allowing your baby to cry in your prescence is not anywhere near the same thing as letting her cry on her own.
Try at first to gradually slow down the speed of the swing over the next few nights until it is no longer swinging. Once she gets used to sleeping with no motion you can then transfer her to her crib. If you also use the Wake to Sleep technique she'll get used to sleeping longer in her crib as well.
I used to sit with my daughter (I put a stool right up next to her crib) and rub her belly til she fell asleep night after night, nap after nap until she was able to do it on her own. My hubby and I took turns. She would cry a lot sometimes, but never on her own, and now she coos and babbles herself to sleep.
It was SO hard to do - I just wanted her to stop crying, and was tempted to simply rock, bounce and put her in the car. But the more inconsistent you are, the longer it takes, and the harder it is on your baby. Be consistent and it'll get easier faster.
Sleep is a LEARNED habit - it is NOT innate, and I did not know that either. Babies have to be taught HOW to sleep. So they'll cry at 4 months or at 4 years old - when being taught to sleep on their own.
Lastly - once my LO started to get the hang of going to sleep on her own I would often leave the room and let her figure it out. If she would get hysterical I would go back into her. If she would just fuss, I would let her fuss. I found in those instances my prescence made it worse, not better.
Sorry for the long post, but I think Sleep is SUCH a big issue for mom and for baby!
I hope this helps!
P.S. You can read more about wake to sleep in 'The Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems' or you can google it as well - for more details.
GOOD luck, and let us know how you do.
We used the swing too, but just to help our daughter settle down, not something she slept in through the whole night, so our situation was similar, but not quite the same... Regardless, what eventually worked for us was a good, tight swaddle. I didn't like the idea of those swaddles that velcro (I think if they need to get out of it they should be able to). But we bought "The Ultimate Swaddle Blanket" and wrapped her up tight. We'd then put her in her crib and we could "rock" her while she was laying there. It seemed to really work, I want to say the very first night we tried it. She fell asleep that way for most of her first year... I know it seems rough right now, but these times will be long behind you before you now it. So whatever you do, hang in there and stay positive!
My DD didn't sleep in a swing, she slept on me and did the 40 minute wake up thing, so I know where you are coming from. Please do not CIO with her. You don't feel comfortable with that for a reason!! Also, even Ferber does not recommend that until at least 6 months. It is not good for their brains to be under that kind of stress. I believe there are studies about that on askdrsears.com if you need evidence to be secure in your feelings. Many people (pediatricians included, they are just people with no particular expertise in sleep for the most part) assume you have to CIO or since they did it and their kids lived through it, think you should too. You don't have to. CIO teaches your child that you will not respond to them when they need you. How confusing and alarming for them.
A couple people recommended Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution." Great book. It is not a quick fix, but neither would CIO be, it can take many nights. And all kids are different.
But another thing to think about is that she may start sleeping better when she is darned good and ready. I have found with my DD (20 mos) that when I stop stressing about what she "should" be doing, it is much easier on me and eventually she does stuff when she is ready. That said, you do need to be able to function, so try the Pantley method and trust your mommy instinct when it comes to DD. Good luck.
Oh, one more thing. I know it seems interminable right now, but I don't know how I can possibly have a 20-mo old talking little person. It was just a minute ago that she was just 4 mos old and refusing to very let me put her down! You will get there.
