Hi! I have a wonderful four-month-old baby boy. I didn't know what attachment parenting was until I was told that it was how I parent. I wouldn't change anything! He's very happy and independent (loves to be on his own with his toys often). He sleeps really well and goes down for naps easily (even puts himself to sleep after I hold him and sing to him). However, bedtime presents a bit of a challenge. Here's the typical "routine":
* Around 7:30 PM, I change his diaper and read to him in our room (where he sleeps).
* I then nurse him, swaddle him, and lay him down.
* He sleeps for an hour and wakes up (though is still very sleepy), usually demanding to be fed again so I usually do nurse him. He falls asleep while nursing him and I lay him down again.
* HOWEVER, he wakes up again and again for about 30 minutes. He is only soothed by me picking him up (and I don't mind doing this). As soon as I pick him up, he is calmed and falls asleep again but will wake minutes after laying him down.
* After he gets all of that out of his system, he'll sleep for 11 hours (getting up once or twice to eat) with no other problems.
I'm at a loss here as to what to do. Perhaps I need to do something differently at bedtime so he knows that it's time to sleep for the night? I know many people suggest giving baths at bedtime every night but I think that's too often for this dry Colorado winter air. I usually read to him before every nap and at bedtime so that doesn't add any variation. The only thing I do differently is nurse him before putting him down for the night (otherwise I nurse him when he wakes up from his naps not before).
What do you do differently at bedtime? Have you had any similar problems, and how did you remedy them? I want to add that I don't believe in having him cry it out, so any suggestions to do so won't be heeded. :)
Thanks!
Thank you so very much for all of your wonderful answers and support! I started laying our little guy down in his crib in his room for his naps yesterday (first time sleeping in there) and let him sleep back in his bassinet in our room for the night. I'm hoping this will help, plus it has the added benefit of getting him accustomed to sleeping in a different place (and one in which he'll be sleeping during the night - eventually - too). Luckily, he seems to have adapted very well (though it's still early to say if it has changed his settling down at night yet). Whatever he decides to do, I'll be there for him. I'll let you know if anything changes! Thanks again!!
P.S. He still seems to be content with swaddling, though I do want to wean him from it soon. I thought I'd try after he gets adjusted to the new sleeping arrangements. I don't want to change too many things at once. :)
My son's routine sounds a lot like yours, but he is about at the point where you can start teaching him ways to sooth himself without nursing. I used the No Cry Sleep Solution, which offers lots of little suggestions on how to get them to sooth themselves without having to do the cry it out bit. On the other hand, if you are totally okay with how its going, do with what you feel is right!
Hi I have a beautiful 2 month old baby boy. I would suggest to try and not do really anything the same for nap-time as you do for bed time. That is what I do. During the day when my little one is sleeping I make as much noise as I would if he was awake. That way he still gets his nap but he doesn't sleep as hard as he does at night when it's bedtime. Also when I feed him at night I do it in the room he sleeps in and I make sure the light is very dim. My baby boy has been sleeping through the night for a month now so I hope some of this helps... GOOD LUCK!!!
A bath may help. 10 minutes with soap at the end, or no soap is very moisturizing for the skin. We do this for our son with eczema per his doctor's orders and it's amazing how much it's helped. If he's nursing so much at bedtime, it could be he's hungry. My doctor encouraged me to start foods at that point for my oldest son when he had a very hard time sleeping. The problem was solved the first night. If I recall right, there is a 4 month growth spurt, so more to eat may help. GL!
I do not think there is much you need t change. Nursing is still a must at that age. Does the swaddleing bother him since he might like the freedom at this age. This was when my daughter started rolling over so swaddling may be something to remove. Also when he does wake I would not nurse or hold hime. Try soothing him back to sleep while he is s till lying down. I know this will be hard but he is growing accustom to you picking him up to ge tback to sleep. Eventually he probably stays asleep because he is really tired then. Could ust be a phase, mydaughter went through many of them.
Honestly, I'm not really sure it's so much of a problem. It's just him learning to settle down for the night and it sounds like he does a beautiful job once he's settled. I would keep up with the routine and chalk it up to him learning what's expected at night time. I think you are doing the right things by following his cues (feeding him when he needs it, soothing him, etc). My son and daughter went thru a period around that time where it would take them around 3 hours to completely settle in the evenings. Usually this included cluster feedings too. Just kept doing the routine and it settled down after a few weeks (maybe 3?).
Kristen,
I think you are doing a wonderful job with your son! I'm not sure I would change anything, to be honest. You are meeting his needs in a loving way. Believe it or not, this time will not last forever. He'll get it eventually. Just knowing that you are there and are able and willing to respond to him will give him great comfort and trust. The fact that a 4 month old sleeps for 11 hours is incredible! Enjoy.
when my babies have done this, the problem was often gas. either i hadn't burped them well enough during the last nursing before bed, or i'd eaten something that was causing them gas. it can be hard to burp them when they're totally floppy asleep, but if you're not being diligent with it, try it. put him upright against your chest and pat or bounce him a little when you switch sides and then again after feeding. if he doesn't burp then but wakes shortly after you lay him down, try burping again. it can make a big difference. also, a musical toy can be a good comfort for when he wakes in the night. rather than pick him up, pat him and turn on the music. i have one that plays for i think 5 minutes and i can adjust the volume so that if my baby wakes after i've gone to bed (the crib is in my room), i just turn the music on the lowest volume setting and i can easily fall back to sleep with it playing. and so does the baby usually, unless she's hungry. good luck!
Hi, I would recommend that when he wakes up, instead of picking him up, just let him cry for 5 minutes, then go to him and put your hand on him to let him know that you're there. Then in another 5 minutes, do it again. Keep doing it until he realized he doesn't need you to pick him up. I know it sounds mean, but I've learned that by responding to babies who cry to get their way (unless they're telling you they NEED something) they are training you. After a few nights of this it should stop. I learned this through parenting books that I've been reading. Also, I know you said in your note that he goes down easily during the day. Just make sure that you're putting him down every 2 hours, before he starts showing signs that he's tired. Once I did this with my son, he started sleeping through the night at just 8 weeks old. Hope this helps.
Hi Kristen,
Both of my kids started having trouble sleeping in our room when they were around 3-4 months old. It seemed like they were more aware of us at that age and had trouble sleeping. I'm not sure if this is the case with your son, but we tried putting them in their own rooms and it worked like a charm. Both of them slept almost through the night from then on. My daughter is now six months old and sleeps from 8-8:30 at night until 5ish, wakes up for a feeding and then goes back to sleep till 7 or 8. My son did the same thing. Also, neither one of mine wanted to be swaddled past the age of 2 months. They would wake them selves up just by trying to move around and not having that freedom. I know that having him in a different room makes breastfeeding a little more demanding, but if he sleeps longer than I'd say it's a pretty good trade off. Some babies just need a quieter place. I hope you find something that works for you. Good luck!
K.
As to distinguish between night and day, we did naps with a different blanket and the blinds were open. For night, we put on jammies (I don't do the nightly bath either), read some stories and cuddle, and then put him in his sleepsack with his night blanket, and the blinds closed (more important when it was still light out).
I always fed when he woke up and did the same for the last night feeding...feed, then awake, then to sleep. When he was still waking for night feedings (this only lasted till 10 weeks - and it sounds like your son doesn't really need them if he can sleep 11 hours), I would feed, and put right back down, unless there was a stinky diaper. I am wondering if the feeding right before bed is what is throwing him off? He has some energy from it, and is ready to be awake? Maybe that extra nursing after 30 minutes is just soothing and not really necessary? Just throwing that out there.
I am a believer in cry it out, but won't suggest that. :) I have heard good things about the No Cry Sleep Solution, and loved Happiest Baby on the Block.
Oh, and our night time books are different than our daytime. There was Goodnight Moon, Going to Bed Book, etc.
Hi Kristin, get a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weisbuth (sp?) GREAT book. I think you will find that you are putting your little guy down to sleep way too late.
