Found Out I'm Prego Again! How to Tell the Future Inlaws!

First of all, I would not get married just because you are having a baby. If you were planning on getting married anyway, just do it! Go to the justice of the peace and do it! What will the mom-in-law say? You'll already be daughter-in-law!

I was in a similar situation. I was pregnant before I was married and my parents are old fashioned. They're always worried about what other people will think. I couldn't tell them face to face, I had to call them. That was actually better because I only told my mom, whom I feel closer to. She was pretty overwhelmed and had to get off the phone. She called back a few hours later and she actually told the rest of my family. She was dissapointed, but things got better. I would suggest to just get it over with because it slowly gets better day by day. The sooner you tell the future in-laws, the sooner things can begin to get better. It may take a while for them to feel okay about it, but just remember this is your life and not theirs. As long as you are confident and make the best of your situation things will be okay. Once the baby arrives their heart will melt and all the "wierdness" will be forgotten.

I would tell his parents after you go to the doctor and make sure everything is looking good and to see how far along you are. After you go to the doctor then I would go talk to them either with your fiance or let him tell them alone. They need to know, if they get mad, just let them vent and I promise they will get over it. It will be their grandchild. My inlaws were not that thrilled when I got pregnant before me and my husband were married but they got over it faster then we thought that they would. Just don't let them make you or your fiance feel bad about anything. If they do make ya'll fell bad then I would let them know what I thought in a nice way. They need to know that ya'll are getting married and that ya'll do love each other and a baby is just a special gift given to ya'll a little earlier then expected. Good Luck!!

They might be his family now, but before to long they will be your family. You don't want how you handle this situation to make them judge you unfairly, so tread carefully. If I were you I would tell them (together with your fiance) that you are getting married and then wait a couple weeks to tell them your pregnant. Or depending on how fast you are getting married wait to tell them your pregnant until after your married. They don't ever have to know how long you waited to tell them. Just make sure your parents are in on the plan so they don't blow your cover. Howerver, it will be a relief when you tell them and they might be mad, but they will get over it. It might take a while, but when they see that new baby they will forget all about how mad they were.

I agree with the post that says it is his job. When my husband and I got married (without telling anyone) and then when I found out I was pregnant, a month later, He told his parents. They were shocked at how fast and secretive that things were moving but they got over it. Things are great now. They are crazy about their grandaughter and are very good to their daughter in law (me) and my kids from a previous marriage.

Hi K.
It is his family @ the moment, and his job to let them know that you are getting married. There is no better way to tell them than to just give them the truth. There is nothing they can do to change it anyway. Well known or not, this baby will be their grandchild. Set the time to tell them ASAP.

All the best!

Don't worry about all that stuff. Me I am 25 years old and have a 8 month old, plus I am 33 weeks pregnant. Engaged because we keep planning a wedding and then oops pregnant again. I was more horrofied than anyone. But trust me it all fell into place. The justice of the peace thing has crossed our mind but we still have not found the time. But that for you could be the perfect solution but only if it is wanted both ways for love and not fot the children.

Sometimes people may surprise you... I was engaged to my ex-husband and had been for almost a full year when I found out I was pregnant. Our wedding was just a few months away so we waited to tell his parents because they were really religious. They were always talking about how we should wait until we were married.

We waited and after the wedding we still couldn't tell them because it would be obvious that he was concieved before the wedding... I was 7 months pregnant when I finally told them, I guess they thought I was getting really fat or something! They were very happy and barely mentioned anything else except that we wouldn't be the only people that had happened to and we were married and everything was ok.

Another thing is, your husband needs to be the one to handle their disappointment. They aren't your parents and you want to get along with them but you aren't a reflection on them. You are your husband's wife, his choice in a mate, and the mother of their grandbaby.

Expect to be treated with respect, do not participate in allowing them to bad mouth you or your husband. Make it clear that its unacceptable if it happens, then leave. Don't get into shouting matches and pointing out other peoples flaws etc.

For your husband, he should tell his parents. Don't go into the conversation negatively. He should take you by the hand and tell his parents how he has finally found the girl that he wants to marry and spend his life with and why you make him happy. Have him mention that you decided to get engaged some time ago and haven't told them. After congratulations have him share the second joyous news!

If this doesn't work, tell them in a public place. Never do it while you are at their house on their turf, this gives them powerful advantage. Invite them out for a "surprise", everyone dress up nice and go out to a nice resturant for dinner. Give them a small notecard or baby announcement with "coming soon" on it and maybe even a wedding invitation!

If you guys are really happy and show that you are excited and not ashamed you will get a more positive response. If you are looking for ridicule and harsh words by going with your head hanging down then you will more likely get that sort of response.

In the end, stay out of the relationship between your husband and his parents. Let them resolve whatever issues there may be. Be supportive of your husband's feelings but don't take sides or get into the middle of it. Don't let them treat you badly either. Don't get upset and don't participate. If they are rude, deal with it calmly. Don't reciprocate, because they will use it against you.

Good luck and congrats!

I just want to second Kara E.'s suggestion. Tell them you're getting married pronto. Schedule a dinner or a brunch for the coming weekend or during this week and break that news now. Then once a month has passed, break the next surprise on them, they don't have to know that you know now. Many women don't know until the second, third or even fourth month of the pregnancy that they are pregnant. If mother-in-law to be inquires further, just tell her that you thought it was the new birth control you had switched to that was causing any awkwardness or that you have irregular cycles making it hard for you to tell.

Personal experience here...
My husband did not tell his very religious mother that I was prego untill I was about 6 months (she lives out of state). We decided to get married and I just assumed he would tell her we were getting married, he did not. My husband is a wonderful man and truth be told he just isnt in the habit of calling his mother with details of his life. She thinks I am the devil. Sit down with your fiance and make a game plan to tell them together that you are getting married (and were already planning to do so) and that you are having a baby, before someone else tells them for you. That will be so much worse I promise! Good luck and Congrats!!!

When I found out i was pregnant with my first, we were planning our wedding. So we ran off eloped and then called. They were quite surprised. Congrats, I see that you already told them, and thats great it went well.

K.-- I just saw this post and figured your second baby must have just celebrated his/her first birthday! Did you have a boy or a girl?