When my daughter was about 9, I realized that pushing her to do everything was giving me a lot of mental work to do, and allowing her figure out how little effort she could get by on. I read a book on logical consequences (many decades ago; don't recall the title).
It made brilliant sense, so I sat her down and told her it was up to her to keep her clothes picked up, or get them into the wash, to get up and be ready for school on time, etc. I made it clear that whatever (reasonable, age-appropriate tasks) got done was completely up to her. If she didn't care for her clothes, she'd look dirty and wrinkled. If she wasn't dressed in time for school, she could either go in her pajamas or go late (she walked to school), and I would only write a note saying she didn't get ready in time.
It took her two days to get those issues under her own successful control.
On the BD invitations, I have two thoughts: are YOU throwing a party for her? If so, you should do the inviting. Otherwise, isn't she helping to throw a party for herself, which is sort of like trolling for gifts? But if you are clear that she should do the invitations, then only those kids who gets them will receive them. In which case, she's partly determining how big (or small) her party will be.
Let me suggest that you google "motivation in children" for a look at the latest understandings of what motivates kids. Too much or too little involvement by parents can both decrease motivation.