For Those That Have Gotten Rid of the Paci...

It won't be much longer & he'll be back to normal don't give in now you'll only take steps back not forward

Just hang in there. You might buy him something else he would like if he does not continue to act up or tell him he must stay in his room until he has calmed down. Use stickers just like you would when potty training. It is for attention, since he goes to sleep without it. He will come around.

I did not read through all the posts, but never was one to view my kiddo as wanting all the "power". I never had a pacifier to deal with either. However, I think with any "weaning" - whether it's the bottle, breast, crib into big bed, mom going back to work (with a toddler), a favorite lovey - there is going to be a transition period. And that's what it is, a transition. Transitions take time, esp for little ones. I don't know about other adults, but when something I love and that brings me comfort is no longer available to me, I hate it, I am crabby, I am unhappy and I am a grown UP!!!! So, for a little one whose language and understanding is far less than an adult, I would cut him some slack and love on him with gentleness and understanding. Often weanings of any sort are not easy; you have picked this road, stick with it, but with love not "power", give him extra hugs, books, your focused attention. The hole of what is missed will not be so great when it is replaced with YOU! Lots and lots of love. He will get through it with you at his side understanding that it is hard to lose a friend such as a pacifier. Keep putting one foot in front of the other Mama - you both can do it together:)

Dear MechanicMama, You're not going to be chastised by me. I do want to say though, that I see what your son is going through differently than you see it. It sounds to me like he really feels a NEED for it still. It doesn't sound like a simple 'want' but a 'need'. If it was a simple 'habit' he'd give it up rather easily. It sounds like he's going through a very strong mourning, grieving to me. Honestly, you might not agree with me, but no harm in sharing my thoughts, since you requested ideas from people...but I'd go get him a new pacifier. My daughter in law used one with the 1st of their 2 children. When he was near your little one's age she wanted to gently wean him off it. She heard of a wonderful idea, that might work well for you. She tied the pacifier onto his bed, using a 18-24 inch shoestring/ribbbon (what have you). If he requested the pacifer, he could go to his room and lay down, or sit there with it. After doing that for a few months, she told him they would get rid of it by a certain date. They put it in an envelope, to have the pacifier fairy 'mail it to a baby that needs it.' When he asked for it, she gently reminded him that another baby needed it. He seemed fine to be helping another baby out. I hope this helps. Best of luck, S.

Good for you, Mama. I am not someone who believes there is any rush to wean off pacis, but you're right, biting through them is a scary choking hazard. I would just try to keep your son busy doing things he likes. He'll eventually recover. Good luck!

I am such a softy...I would give it back. He is still really a baby and maybe still needs to suck. You can limit it to naps and nightime only. As far as going back on your word...you can explain it away by saying "mommies make mistakes too" and you took it away too soon. I actually think it's better than thumb sucking or dragging a blankie around.
OR you could go the other direction and really talk it up that he is such a big boy, pacies are for babies. Super Nanny had a show once that had the "paci fairy" come and take the paci to a baby that really needed it and exchanged it for a gift for the little one giving up the paci. They really talked it up ahead of time with the little one...it seemed pretty painless. All the best to you, hang in there!

I just wanted to wish you luck.....I'm going through the same situation....but the difference between us is I took it away 2x and have given it back 2x....he is so miserable with out it....and naps and bed time is horrible that I just said "have it back".......can I ask how your daughters teeth look like ...I mean did the paci for that long cause any issue dentaly ????
I am not going to let him keep it that long but....it doesn't look like it will be given Up any time soon.....I wish you luck.....

First of all I have not read any of the responses but just wanted to give you some support. Do not feel bad I usually wait until my children are three and I know it is hard. Number four is just about to lose her's and already I an dreading it. All I can say is it will get better if his sleep is fine it is just a matter of him realizing you are serious. It may take a week or two depending on how strong willed he is. My best suggestion is to distract him when he starts to whine or cry, act like he isn't and start something fun to do. I really hope this helps.

we cut the tips of my son's and one day he just stopped using them.

the attitude might not be paci related it could just be the horrid 3's coming in.

I've heard paci withdrawl really only lasts a couple days - so hang in there mama!!!!

I agree with every word of your post.

Can you try teaching him another self-soothing technique? I did that with my daughter and it was really helpful to her. If he gets cranky when he's trying to fall asleep without his paci, for example, - give him a teddy bear and teach him to 'help his bear fall asleep by gently rubbing the bears back' or whatever.

Good luck and hang in there!

My son had a hard time giving up the paci to at first. my biggest suggetstion is to use a reward system. Tell him for every day he is good you will give him say a quarter or dollar and on the days that he is bad he owes you a quarter or dollar back and after he has got enough money (set an amount with him) then you will take him to toys r us or target and he can pick out a brand new toy.

Yes in away you are bribing your child but you are also teaching him a valuable lesson about rewards and consequences and he may learn a little bit about money. We did this to potty train my son. He knew what money was and did really well with it.

The other thing that we did before we took away the paci is that we only allowed him to have it during nap or bedtime. That way he did not have constant access to the paci and it helped to slowly break him of it.

I wanted to let you know that I do not feel that you have waited to long to get rid of the paci. Each child is different. I personally would rather have to break a child of a paci then their fingers or thumb. At least a paci you can get rid of and their fingers and tumbs are attached to them all the time. You have less chance of your child causing issues with their teeth sucking on a paci then their fingers or thumbs.

Good luck!!! It is hard but you have to stay firm with him. I know it is hard.

You have already conquered the hardest part - keep going as much as it sucks. This happened with my son and I kept caving back in until we finally kicked it at 3 1/2. He would only use them to sleep and literally would NOT sleep without one...the first night even after he stopped crying it took him 3 HOURS to fall asleep. Are you sure that yours is actually sleeping well? He might be waking up in the middle of the night and having a hard time falling back asleep w/o the paci causing his crankiness. I have a 2 year old now and your post made me realize maybe its time to do away with hers too... So anyway, we used the pacifier fairy with my first 2 (like I said my son was 3 1/2...my daughter was 2 1/2 I believe)...said the pappys were for the babies and end of story. It will depend on your child how long it takes for them to get over it... my son took a little less than a week, my middle daughter took a day, and I don't even want to imagine how my 2 year old will be, because she is MUCH less easygoing than the other two lol. Good luck to you mama, I certainly understand your pain, we are having an attitude day today in our house... I couldn't wait to drop my daughter off at kinder so my 2 yr old could go to SLEEP! The joys of bein a mommy :)

I think you need to stick with it and stay strong, although it being very tough. I think if you give in now, it could make for bigger battles in the future, not just with a pacifier.

Take into account, if he were sick, he'd be having a hard time anyway even if you had never given him a pacifier to begin with.

Good luck!

My 3 year old daughter was this way. She was about 2 years old when we gave up the paci and same yours - would wake up a screaming mess. We started giving her Orange Juice when she first woke up and for some reason it made a world of difference. It's like if she doesn't have her oj in the morning its gonna be a bad day.

Not sure if it is worth a shot - but it worked for us. She is almost 4 soon and still has to have her OJ or else is is a mess.

Oh ya- I can still hear my 5 year old sucking at night. I can go in there and all we see is his lips moving as if he was sucking on a binkie. So, not sure if the addiction truly ever goes away, lol.. but he survived the withdrawl.

Good luck.

when we took it away from my daughter (on her 4th birthday) it was some of the best dramatic actress scenes I have ever seen!
we placed them outside the front door for the "baby birds" one morning. by nap time she was upset, opened the door looking for them, they were gone...she was mad. There just happened to be an AFLAC commercial on the TV as she was stomping by and she pointed at it and screamed "that's the bird that took my binky!!!!" we tried so hard not to laugh but!!! haha
then the evening came....she literally was screaming and running up and down the hallway...it started off as a fast past, then a run...you would've thought we were being invaded...she was literally panicking, pulling her hair, crying, screaming. My husband wanted to break down and give it to her (his first child, daddy's girl and all) I stood my ground, remained calm, acted like nothing was wrong. After my reaction she literally dropped to her knees like a scene out of Gone with the Wind, spread her arms out, looked at the ceiling and cried "what am i gonna do!" (again...held back laughter the best i could) daddy had to leave cuz he wanted to console her and give her them back. Day 2 she was upset but much less dramatic, day 3 was good. she got sick about a week after and really wanted them, but we ignored the requests and all was fine. the binkies were gone forever.
The key is that they get their reactions from you. You can tell from your post that you are very frustrated by the situation, and boy do I understand that...but he probably picks up on it. It hard to act calm in those situations, especially when mom is at her wits end.
I would literally tell him something like "you're fine" in a stern, sort of "you're being ridiculous" type voice, and walk out of his sight, then peek around the corner and see what he does? The more you act like there is nothing going on, and no reason to freak out, and flat out ignore the outbursts...the quicker he'll get over it.

Yup, you got it right, stay strong!

My daughter actually ended up unknowingly picking the time to ditch hers. I think she was just turning 2 at the time. My family goes on a ski trip for 4 days out of state. We only took one paci with us, because we were pretty good about keeping up with the one. Well, first night there it disappeared!! Ahh we looked everywhere in that place the whole time we were there! Never found it. Maybe it ended up in the trash? I was not going to go buy another one, so we just kept telling her it was "all gone" and that she lost it. She did fuss about it, probably fussed some more after we got home. But honestly I don't even remember the details of her fussing. She'll be 5 years old next month.

I think he will get better in another few days. Keep trying to distract his attention away from thinking about it. Read him a favorite book? Maybe one where you can talk to him about it, have him pointing to things, etc. to keep his attention.

You can do it!! :)

Could you bribe or distract him in anyway? I know he's a big kid and it might not be as easy as distracting a two year old (that's what I've been doing with mine, we haven't completely taken it away either. It's hard to take away the only thing that soothes your kid).

I wish you lots of luck! Stay strong and hold your ground, sounds like you are in the throws, but you're almost there!

As I remember it took my son 4-5 days and he was a terror but then it was over and he moved on. He also returned to his usual sweet demeanor after those few days. Hold on momma a couple of more days and this too shall pass.

It might take a few more days. This is a critical time for both of you to establish you being the mom and him being the kid. I know its hard, but try to keep your cool and ride it out. If he senses that you're stressed it will make him think he can break you.

This is a power struggle. He's old enough to obey. I would sit him down and let him know that big boys don't need a pacifier and he's a big boy now. Because of that you're going to reward him with some new privelege (you pick what you're comfortable with), something he can participate in because he's a big boy AND he is not whining and screaming about it. See if he will be willing to be calm due to the reward. If he isn't (which is likely the case at first), then let him know that he will go into time out if he continues. Follow a Super Nanny style time out scenario (warning with eye contact, follow through and explain why they're in it, etc...). This will teach him that you're serious about him stopping this behavior. Be sure to reward his efforts to get over this!

Best wishes!

You are doing great, you can do it. Any change is hard, he will learn to sooth himself really soon... here is another post awhile ago with some helpful tips http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/8733984975243837441 and below is my/daughter's story :)

We had to take my daughter's nuk away cold turkey. Any other way just did not work for my daughter.Think we did it around 3 years of age, honestly can not remember any more since it seems like ages ago and my daughter is only 4 1/2 years old now.

First the dentist said HAS TO BE DONE, will ruin teeth! So after that visit, brushing teeth we already were doing, but that nuk had to go too for healthy teeth and being healthy is good (that is what we told my daughter).

Secondly we made sure she had something else of comfort, like a blanket, favorite stuff animal (heard of going to buildabear putting nuk in there but did not do that, just had a blanket and favorite stuff animal that she latched onto).

Thirdly we did a chart, even thought we took them all away cold turkey style we still did a chart. First week ever nap and bedtime she would get a sticker on the chart for going to sleep without it. Second week we gave a sticker for each nap/bedtime she did not ask for it. If most of the days she got a sticker for the past two weeks we let her pick a toy under $10 at ToysRUs. Third week we still did all of the above but made no big deal of it and by the end of the third week she was completely over it... at the end of the fourth week she got another $10 toy from ToysRUS. This can be done longer depending on how it is going for your child.

My suggestion would require you to give him the paci back, but my pediatrician had recommended gradually cutting the tip off the paci. Give it back to him with the full tip, then a week or so later cut it a little, a week or two after that cut it a little more, etc. until there is barely anything there and he won't want it anymore. This way it becomes his decision. I'm not sure if he is too old for this theory, but it worked for us.

Those little mesh "feeder" bags that you can put ice or fruit in are a good substitute that will give his mouth something to do. They have a little handle with a net bag hanging from it - usually at babies r us in a two pack - also walmart sometimes has them. The ice should keep him busy a little while...

Does he have a Lovey? Or another kind of comfort item?

We got rid of my son's Binky, when he was almost 3.
But he had a lovey that he slept with.
So I think that helped.

For us, we told him we were giving his Binkies to 'Santa' to help the other kids. Then with him, we collected them from the house, and put it in a bag to 'mail' to Santa.
That worked for our son.
It took him about 2 days to adjust.
He missed it.... and we let him talk about it.
Praised him etc.
He still fell asleep okay though, but I think it was because he has his Lovey.

Just about a month ago... my son STILL mentioned his Binky... and how it was his 'best friend....' but he didn't ask for it.
This is over a year... later. He is now 4 years old.
But he still 'remembers' his Binky... very fondly.

all the best,
Susan

Maybe it's a combo of it being winter and grayish outside too? I know I'm crabbier this time of year -- and my boys have a hard time not expending energy and being "stuck" indoors more than vs. the rest of the year....I digress...

We did cold turkey pacifier dump at our house too. My middle son was 22 months, and we were just DONE. We kept him distracted, busy, and TIRED! It took about a week of transition -- he whined, cried, and asked about his pacifier, then just suddenly stopped asking, and moved on to other things. I would be transparent with him -- if he asks about it, tell him "big boys don't use pacis, we're all done with yours, they're for babies, etc...". And then make a big deal about what big boys get to do -- build things, run, and jump, go sledding, whatever....be reassurring with him, and encouraging, and celebrating the fact that he has moved on from the paci!

I would stick to my guns if I were you. I know it's tugging on your Mama heartstrings (okay...and probably your nerves too, as it would mine!) but waffling is not going to help him or you with this transition. Soon that beloved bink will be a thing of the past!

Good luck.

so can you write a letter to the "paci " fairy and let the fairy know that he is a big kid now and is giving up his paci's (if you still have the end put it in the envelope)and to please leave him a toy or whatever you want. Then have him leave the note/picture under his pillow or by his bed, next day the toy is there, with a note from the fairy saying thank you , what a big boy hope he enjoys his new toy etc..

I was wondering if he is more upset because it is seen as a "punishment" for biting his paci, rather a good thing for being a big boy.(I would worry about the choking hazard the most, seems scary that he can bite them off)

hope he gets over it quickly!!! good luck