For Moms Who Had Their 1St Child Young/2nd with Large Age Gap

I had my first son at 16 and my second son at 26 and third son at 27. I can honestly say I TOTALLY get where you are coming from!! All you can do is parent them the best way you know everyday! Yes you know more things then you did 10 years ago but that just makes you a better mom to both!!

As for activities, the zoo and the aquarium, and swimming are favorites for us! My boys are now 17,7,and 6 and the young ones really look up to their big brother and HE is very protective of his little brothers!!

My kids are 10 years apart and I wouldn't change a single thing.
I was 24 and well established with my first. Owned a home and everything.
They said I could never have children so I feel super lucky.
It worked out great for me and I'm sure it will for you, too.
Hang in there and enjoy the difference.

Best wishes.

My oldest will be 18 in June and my youngest is 14 months. So that is a HUGE gap!! If feel the exact same way that you do. I was on 15 years old when I had my daughter and my mom was a big help to me than. I know so much more than I did then, obviously, but I try not to dwell on it too much. My daughter knows that I did my best with her as well. As far as activities go, we just went to the Universoul Circus this past Sunday. We've been going since my oldest was about 5 yrs old. Although my son is on 14 months, he enjoyed what he could understand. My daughter had a blast. This summer we plan to go horse back riding ( 14month old on a pony of course) and also plan to go to Seasame Place, and whatever else I think we'll enjoy. I'm so happy that my daughter is interested in doing things like this. I was afraid that when she got old enough, she wouldn't be into me anymore. I love my babies. :)

You've receive great responses, so I'll make this short. My kids are 18 years apart. after my 2nd, I realized I didn't want to raise an only child again so my husband and I decided to have another (now expecting). Anyway, my daughter is like my son's 2nd mom. They love each other to death. Her name was his 1st word.
Things to do: everything and anything! I think as long as you raise them close, your older one will enjoy being with the younger one. The younger one doesn't know any better...
simple things - my daughter blows bubbles for her 14 month old brother. We go to the park. Can't wait for it to warm up to go swimming. we just walk around aimlessly and laugh at our 14 month old run around in open space. Very simple joys - but great quality time together.

LOL........ I LOVE this question! My kids are 8 years old (the youngest) and almost 21 years old (the oldest). The 2 in the middle are almost 18, and almost 10. (he is the only boy) I had my 1st child at 21. I think that I learned a lot with the 1st 2, so now I am doing things a lot differently with the second 2 . I got to actually see what worked, and what didn't work. The things that I did, like overindulge my older girls, well I am TRYING really hard NOT to do as much of that this time around. I want my younger 2 to work for more of what they have. My older girls are great, don't get me wrong, but they do have a little of the "entitled" thing going on. CHORES....... Oh yeah, they have chores. I didn't do so much of that the first time around. What a mistake THAT was! Now I get a huge arguement from the 17 yr old if I want the dishwasher loaded or the room cleaned. (she does it, but it takes FOREVER) Letting them fall on their face more. It's hard to do, but way more lessons are learned that way. I would rather they learn them when they are young then when they are older and out of the house. Now I have older kids who cannot learn by listening but must go through the school of hard knocks. (because I have always done so much for them, they thiink they can do ANYTHING) I THOUGHT that was good parenting, but letting them fail a little would have probably been better at a young age. They would have learned how to deal with the dissapointment better while they were young, because let's face it, the things that would have been dissapointing them would have been less important really.
My older girls did get the better me as far as physically though. I was much more active when they were little, so we did WAY more. I didn't have any health issues, and could keep right up with anything that they wanted to do. One really awesome thing about being a young Mom. Also, I was fairly "current" with the times. I was not out of date so to speak. They enjoyed spending time with me. (still do they say) I feel like my 8 and almost 10 year old are missing out on the Mom that my older 2 had because I can't do some of the things that I did when I was younger. I have had some major medical issues in the last 6 years. I have had 6 major strokes, and although I am not wheelchair bound, and am able to walk and talk, etc. I realize how lucky I really am......... I still do not have 100% of my "old strength" and stamina. It feels like the 2 younger kids are being cheated at times. I am only 42, so I am not really old, but I have many other medical issues too, so even chaperoning a field trip for them is at times difficult. I do, and I tough it out, but there are some that I simply cannot do. My oldest daughter tries to take a lot of the job on with that when she can, and has chaperoned for both her brother and sister's classes when the trip was something that I physically could not handle. I guess the age difference there is a blessing! I long for the good old days when we could take a 3 day weekend to Disney or Universal with the kids, and I could keep up the stamina for the entire trip without having any issues. Now I have a tough time with even a day. Heck, the 2 hour drive kills me because of my knees. LOL! We still take the trips, but at a MUCH slower pace, and the little ones have to go on the rides with their older sisters or Dad, because Mom simply cannot go on them anymore. (THAT makes me sad) They don't know any different, so to them it's just normal. I however, do know the difference, and it makes me feel very bad at times. My 2 youngest children are also not my own biological kids. My husband and I got custody of them almost 6 years ago. I sometimes feel guilty because of what I cannot do for and with them, but then I think of what thier lives would be like if we hadn't taken them, or where they would be. I feel better then. I am the only Mom they have, and a good one at that. I am the best Mom they could have, and the best Mom they know of. My oldest 2 kids are sometimes like surrogate "moms" to them as well, and take my 8 yr old daughter to have a manicure, or take her and her 9 1/2 yr old brother to a movie or out for ice cream. All 4 kids enjoy going to the theme parks with my husband and I, just like I said, it's different now. We all like to hang out in our pool during the summer, and love the beach. I know that my parenting is way different this time around, but I also know that all 4 of my kids will be fine in the end. Even though I am doing things different this time, fixing and "tweaking" my skills as I go, every child is different anyway. Don't we have to change they way we handle all kids anyway? I am truly blessed to have 3 gorgeous and talented daughters, and one VERY handsome SPOILED, much loved, son who if nothing else will no doubt understand women and will know how to treat a lady when he gets older. (his sisters wouldn't have it ANY other way!!)

I have 4, my oldest 2, I had when I was 20 and 22, my 3rd at 32 and my 4th at 36. I have always thought my first 2 got my energy and youth, my other 2 got my patience. Yes ,you read that right 16 yrs from first to last, I spent 34 yrs raising kids most of that time as a single parent.

Whew!! My baby will be 20 in a few weeks--now I'm helping with the grandkids.

I have a large gap as well - 19, 15..... and 8 !
I wouldn't feel guilty. You learn as you go. It's the natural progression. As long as you did the best you possibly could, that's all that's expected.
And, yes, it has been, and often is, difficult to please all - when picking a movie, a restaurant, an activity, etc. My youngest has been dragged to more volleyball, baseball, soccer, waterpolo games and swim meets than any poor child should have to!!! LOL So, I tell my older two to give a little and pick an activity she will enjoy and give her a break. They're pretty good about it.
Good luck and God bless!

Hello, I have four grown kids. I had my first one when I was 18 (I got married at 17). I was very attentive to all four of my kids, but, I think you learn with each one. By the time I had my fourth, I was 28 and had so much more patience. It is just the way it is. Don't worry about the past, you must be a great mother to even think of this.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.

There's a 13 yr gap between my first two. Honestly, I felt MORE confident the first time lol. I was more relaxed, wasn't overloaded with info and fear at 18 as opposed to 30.
I'm sure your daughter is none the wiser. If you did your best, then that's all anyone can expect. I understand your feelings, I was obviously not as ready emotionally or financially but my oldest is a sweet, gentle, loving kid so i did something right! He also adores his two little brothers, and they him.
We just did a family road trip and he loved it. Seeing the little ones have fun is fun for him! Go to the zoo, park, nature walks, aquarium etc. Its not as hard as you'd thik to find things they'll both enjoy! involve her in teaching the younger things so she feels really important. I do that with my 3yr old with the baby and he loves it!

Mom of 8 yr and 1 yr. So far the park and zoo seem to be the only two activities both enjoy. Its probably because my youngest is not into quiet activities at all and can't walk fast enough for other activities yet.

My oldest was about to turn 15 when my second was born. He's now almost 18 and she'll be three in a week. One thing about parenting with such a gap is that you get clarity from seeing how your original theories about parenting played out (to some extent). Methods like "I just won't be like my mom" aren't really that much better, are they?

As for activities, museums, parks, having friends over for both kids whenever we host a party, doing crafts together for whatever the latest holiday might be... all good times.

Hey I'm not a mother w/a large gap but a child of a mother who waited to have more children after me.

I'm 24 my brother is 14 my sister is 12 & the youngest (sister) is 10

I'm kinda talking to u & my mom when I say "you did the best u knew how to do at that time" & u guys did good!! Don't over think the activities.

I have a 10 month old daughter my brother & sisters love to come to the park & play with her even if my daughter can't walk yet we all have funn!

Now u have a helper :) the beach is always fun.

When my children were 10 and 2-I had 4,6,8 as filler. It seems like we did everything together-Many of us wish that we'd done things differently-that's why God invented Grandchildren!

I had my son when I was 19 and just over 15 years later I had my daughter. I have always done my best for each of them but I definately see differences in my parenting. I was younger and more full of energy with him so playing was easier. He was a big boy and seemed to do things early and although I was/am very much his parent, he was my little buddy. With my daughter, I am more mature and not as energy-filled so after working all day, I am tired so I have trouble getting everything done.

In addition to me being older and different and in a better financial situation, each child is different too as is the world we live in.