I hope you read my response...this question is almost a year old. I was barely 36 yrs old when I got pregnant. I was very sick in my first trimester...a sign that the baby was healthy, I was told. I agreed to have all the genetic testing done during my pregnancy and all the test came back negative.(of course the test were negative...I'm barely 36, just a slight risk...) I was so happy...I planned to have a healthy baby. I had 5 ultrasounds and still everything was normal, which is what I was told.
Due to all the tests and everything...I didn't worry about this pregnancy. In fact, when I did worry b/c I felt like something wasn't right, I just ignored my feelings b/c the tests and ultrasounds showed everything was fine.
I went into labor about 3 weeks early...and when I saw my son for the first time, I was not happy. I just went through a horrible labor with no pain meds relived it was over, yet all I could think was a do over. I kept thinking to myself..."I wanna do it all over again so the outcome may be different." I felt like I was dreaming....no...it was like a nightmare. The baby boy who the nurse kept calling mine...didn't look like me nor my husband. Even his smell wasn't pleasant. "Whose baby is this? How can it be mine? " These were the thoughts going through my mind. Almond shaped eyes...round face...wobbly body...the doctor described to me. I didn't know what to think. My doctor collected amnio from my placenta after birth to test it...the test....it came back negative. "well why would they test the amnio unless he has down's syndrome?" I thought to myself.
Then, shortly after birth...the baby's doctor sat down beside me. He said that even though the test keep coming back negative, I still have reason to believe that he has too many characteristics that point to Down syndrome. I cried...panic hit me inside. All I could say is "I don't understand how this could happen"
Sure enough...the next day the doctor came to me and said that he didn't want to give me false hope. That I should hope for the best, but plan for the worst. He requsted a genetic blood screening and when the test came back a week later....POSITIVE. My baby has Trisomy 21.
He is now 2 weeks old...and not a day goes by that I don't cry. Yes, he is my little angel and I love him with all my heart...but, I wasn't prepared. I wish I had known prior to birth. Why? Because I feel robbed or cheated out of the joy I should have felt when a mother first sees her baby. I felt a disconnect like I was holding someone else's baby and not my own. If I had known...then I would have planned for it. The baby I had in my mind died when my baby was born...and even though my new baby is the most beautiful baby to me....it's still a greiving process I have to go through.