First Time Mom Needs Help!

Hi S.,

You have lots of responces and I don't have time to read them all so I hope I am not giving the same advice over again. I went to a birth meeting a few weeks ago and got some great info. One of the people speaking was from the La Leche League. Is sounds like she is having latching problems -possibly creating gas. Here is the phone number for La Leche League. They have people around the clock(24hrs a day) you can call at 2 am if needed and they WILL help you. Good luck.

La Leche League
Colo Spgs, Woodland Park, Fremont County
###-###-####

Try pumping and feeding her with a bottle. Also she may be a little colic. She should start a regular sleeping pattern by 6 weeks. IT seems like a long time from now but it will happen. Also if you are eating certian foods that may be spicy or acidy this may be affecting her too. I had to eat pretty blan foods while breastfeeding.

I remember feeling the same way and asking a trusted friend for a good "parenting" book for us first-timers. The best book for us as new parents was "The Baby Book" by Dr. William Sears and his wife Martha (an R.N.) who are parents of eight kids. It helped us through the first three colicky months with our firstborn and had so much useful information from birth to age 2.

The worst book we received was "On Becoming Babywise" (which is especially problematic if you want to breastfeed successfully). It just seemed so wrong to me and went against every mothering instinct in me. I recommend you read both and see which resonates with you.

Also, La Leche League is one of the best resources for any breastfeeding mom. One more thing: NAPS are important for Mom, too! Always try to nap when baby naps during these first few months. Finally, relax and enjoy your sweet new little one. :)

Call a La Leche League leader. They are a God-send. Find their #'s on www.llli.org.

S...I don't have any advice for your issue, but knowing this site, many wonderful women will be able to give great advice. I wanted to encourage you. When we finally got our son, at a day old, I was elated. No one wanted a baby more than myself or had been better prepared. When he was three weeks old, I remember waking up in the middle of the night wondering what we had done. Twelve and half years and four more children later, it is a good reminder at just how hard being a new mom is. The hardest thing about the first is that it is all new and you don't know how long each stage will last. I felt great, had none of the effects of pregnancy and childbirth and the first was still by far the hardest. My husband and I were frustrated with one another as we adjusted to our new life and stumbled our way through establishing a rountine. Always do what feels right to you. This may mean pumping and trying a bottle, or even going to formula.
Your baby is well loved and you are doing a great job!

Have you considered co-sleeping. That seems to be the only way I get decent sleep when my little ones are small. If you can get the hang of the side nursing you can have her latch on and then she will nurse and you can go back to sleep. It does get easier. I have two beautiful girls, 3 (Dec 25) and 17 Months (July 11), with # 3 due mid January. I had a hard time with my first. It isn't easy making the mommy transition. You may feel over whelmed and like you aren't doing things right, but be reassured that we all go through this and you will get the hang of it :o).

God bless and Good luck with your new little one. Enjoy the cuddle time. Before you know it she will be running around the house getting into everything.

HI Stacy,
Congratulations on your new little girl! My daughter had a similar habit. She would not eat all day until the later afternoon, then she would want to nurse continuously until 1am in the morning. It was exhausting -- and scary!! I felt like I was being eaten alive. My lactation consultants explained that she was "cluster feeding". Once there was a name to it, I felt better. And most of the time that she was nursing during the marathon session, she was really just taking the nipple for comfort, not really eating the entire time. I had to learn how to recognize the difference between eating and comfort sucking. (Observe her throat to see if she is swallowing, I could not see swallows, so I had to put a finger on her throat to feel them.) When I could tell the difference, then I could at least understand more about when she needed food and when she needed comforting. When she got into "comfort mode" then I could slip a pacifier to her and try to get some rest.

For the latching -- get help! Have a friend who nursed come over. (Totally awkward and embarrassing but really helpful!!) Or locate a lactation consultant. It took me almost a couple of weeks to learn how to get our daughter latched on. And I still never got her on fully "correctly" so I had problems later with some pain later. There isn't anything intuitive or natural or easy about learning to nurse -- get help! Your OB or your hospital or birthing center can refer you to a lactation consultant. Its generally not expensive to have a session where they can help you over and over again till you feel more comfortable. GOOD LUCK!!

S.,

Please, please ignore Jessica's advice to let her cry it out for up to an hour! This is just not right. Even experts that recommend CIO methods don't recommend them before 3 or 6 months--definately not a tiny baby! My daughter used to fall asleep nursing (very normal) and I would try to keep her awake until she got a full feeding in and then for a few minutes afterwards. I would take off her socks and tickle her toes or move her arms around a bit while I was nursing. This kept her awake for a full feeding. It sounds like she is just snacking during the day, and wanting to really eat at night. I would just try to get the full feedings in every time and see if that helped. Also, things get a lot better after the first six weeks--those are always tough. The book The Happiest Baby on the Block has been mentioned, and that helped me with mine. :-) Good Luck!

Congratulations on your new daughter! What a wonderful gift you have received! I would suggest that you tuck your sweet baby in bed with you and let her nurse to her heart's content. You can let her snuggle with you all night. I found that the only way I get good sleep with a newborn is by co-sleeping like this. I put a bed rail up on my side of the bed so that baby won't fall off in the night. It is easier for me to have baby on the outside of the bed rather than between me and my husband (does that make sense?). We both drift off to sleep together as baby is satisfied with the nursing. Enjoy these precious days, they are fleeting!
Blessings,
Tonya-mama to 6

S.,
i think visiting a la leche league meeting in your area would be a great start. good for you wanting to nurse your baby. breastmilk is the food made specifically for your little girls' needs!!! it can be frustrating and nerve racking when you're tired and feel like you might not be supplying baby's needs. have you considered keeping baby in bed with you at night? then she can nurse freely and get filled when she needs to. also, offering both breasts at each feeding is recommended and letting baby finish each breast, not taking off her. scheduling feedings and limiting feedings are not recommended either, just letting baby nurse til she's done, then switching her to the other side. letting baby sleep with you will give you more sleep at night, but babies don't really know morning from night for a few weeks, so these are unfortunately just the sleepless days that follow bringing a new baby into your lives. ____@____.com if you'd like more information on la leche leage. if you're in the salt lake ut area, www.lllofsandy.blogspot.com or www.lllofmurray.blogspot.com for information some salt lake area meetings and links to other meetings. keep at it, you're giving your baby the right source of nutrition. your concern about her latch may be at the root of things as well, she may not be getting milk for her efforts, a la leche league leader could talk with you over email or over the phone and assist with a proper latch. congratulations on your new baby girl!

so much earnest and kind hearted advice here -- much of it contradictory!

I urge you to get some hands-on help from a lactation consultant or La Leche Leader before you try anything else. Some babies do better in their own beds, some do best while co-sleeping. Some babies get nipple confusion, and some don't. Some moms can increase their milk supply by pumping, some need to nurse more frequently to do that. An expert with training and experience who can watch you nurse will save you a lot of time and energy by offering guidance and advice that is customized for you and your baby. Wishing you all the best!

S.,

You are doing a great job. Your beautiful baby girl is having a hard time adjusting and that is normal. She's been confused about day and night for her entire womb-life and now you're throwing her off! ;) It will likely take a while for her to get great at breastfeeding.

You didn't mention this, but I suspect that she is sleeping in your bedroom... this would be frustrating to your husband's sleep schedule if she is. Though I understand how nice it is to be right there to breastfeed during the night, it will put undue strain on your relationship. If you do have a second room to put her in I'd do it quickly! You may want to pull up a comfy recliner so you can rest in there if need be, or get a baby monitoring device (this annoyed my husband as bad as having our infant in the room with us! But he's a light sleeper.)

Don't forget that you are doing a good job dear. Being a first time mom is NOT easy and I don't believe that it "just comes naturally" to everyone. It sure didn't come that way to me!! Our first is 7 and we finally conceived our #2. I'm still not the best mom, but I know that I'm better than some!!

Don't forget some pointers from my mother: 1. Shower, every day. 2. If the baby is sleeping and you don't want her to be, wake her up. This will help with getting her used to being asleep at night and awake in the daytime. I vacuumed in her room. hheeee. 3. Open the blinds/drapes and let in the sunshine. 4. Call someone if you need help.

On the latching on part your having difficulty with I'm not sure what to tell you. Maybe contact the lactation specialist that spoke with you at the hospital. My daughter latched on really well, too well sometimes. The only advice I can offer is to be sure to burp her between breasts!! I didn't do that and wondered why she kept throwing up the first breast/batch!! Silly me.

You're doing good. Smile again!

V.
happily married nearly 9 years, mother of 7 year old daughter, and another daughter on the way. Oh and we have a dog. I love them all!

S.,
You are doing a great job! It can be easy to get frustrated and feel like things are going wrong, but the more you can remain calm and relaxed, your baby will follow. As far as getting her to eat and not fall asleep-- I would squeeze my daughters foot or hand in the same rhythm that she was sucking. It seemed to help her get in a pattern and not fall asleep. It's going to take some time to find her pattern, but be patient. She will pull out of this stage. There is nothing better you could be doing for your baby. I can tell you are an excellent Mom and that little girl is so lucky to have an attentive Mom like you. Also, you might look in to a local La Leche League. This is a breastfeeding support group and it can be so helpful in the first months of parenthood. Their website is www.llli.org--there you can find a group in your area. Check it out. Breast feeding takes alot of support, but is so worth it in the long run! You're doing great!!

M. B

Hang in there! My son was the same way the first three weeks and then my daughter ended up being the same way for a month. And its tough and you feel horrible but you will get things figured out. And for me - I just wasn't producing enough milk so my kids really were hungry all the time. Do you have a lactation nurse that you can talk to in your area? She or your doctor can help you decide what to do. For my children we ended up supplementing with formula. But if you just want to keep nursing make sure you are eating enough and getting enough rest.

About myself-sahm to two beautiful kids...ages 2 and 6 months. married for 6 years.

My first thought is that maybe your milk hasn't come in fully or enough and she isn't able to get the nutrition she needs and is then tired and sleeps a little then wakes up hungry and the cycle continues. I had that problem with both my kids. I got clogged milk ducts. With my first she went through the cycle your daughter is right now and I realized that I wasn't getting milk to her. We rented a hospital grade milk pump and I used it for about a week and the problem was solved. Hope this helps.

S.,
It takes a little while to get into a comfortable routine for the both of you. It sounds like her days and nights have been switched. You really need to try and keep her awake during the day so that you can switch her back. Try pumping off to see how much milk you are producing. The more she tries to nurse the more milk you will get. If you are like me, you might need a little extra help, and drinking a tea like Mother's Milk tea is a great way to produce more milk. Try not to diet either. The weight doesn't just come off after you have your baby, you need the extra store to produce the milk. My twins would nurse each for an hour and they would still scream, turns out I wasn't producing enough milk and it wasn't fatty enough so I had to nurse and have a tube taped to my breast that had some formula in it so that it would fatten them up. Don't give up yet you will get the hang of it, and it will turn out to be wonderful.

Hi S. - I promise things will start to get better. You both are very new at this! As others have said, it is very common for days and nights to be reversed but that will change. I would encourage you to meet with a lactation consultant or to call the one you probably met at the hospital. Your pediatrician or OB/GYN may even have one on staff. They are amazingly helpful and are very willing to help you have a wonderful nursing experience.

I really enjoyed Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. It has excellent and easy to read chapters and references for nursing and other new baby challenges.

S.,
It will get better- this is normal. Babies usually have their days and nights mixed up and she'll grow out of it (and you'll get more rest). In the womb, they are usually awake and active when you are sleeping and sleep during the day when you walk around (it sort of rocks them to sleep). As long as she's gaining the proper weight, she should be ok. Just be patient with her and hopefully she'll grow out of it soon. One thing I did with my first when she was in this stage was try and take a little nap myself when she was asleep during the day- even if it was for 10 minutes, it would help with the exhaustion. Just make sure you are consistent with the nursing, even if she falls asleep (you can pump too) to stimulate your milk supply and make sure she is getting enough.

Congrats new mommy! I am about to have my second in a few days. I nursed my first for a year and it was very successful, but I can understand your frustration, stick with it! The best advice I can give is mak esure she is getting full feedings during the day. Don't let her fall asleep, tickle the feet, take off the clothes, rub her back etc... Maybe if she has better meals during the day she will do better at night. Read BabyWise, it really helped me, good luck!

I am sorry to hear you are struggling! I can tell you're working very hard. Your little girl is so fortunate to have such a determined mom who is so devoted to meeting her needs in the best way possible.
I notice you are in Eagle Mountain. I highly, highly recommend contacting a La Leche League Leader. There are accredited Leaders all over Utah who are ready to help you. In Sandy, there are Jessica at ###-###-#### and Jennifer at ###-###-####. I think they are the closest Leaders to you, but you can find more listed by area at www.lllusa.org/UT/Utah.html or at www.llli.org and click on resources and find local help. All La Leche League services are free. Leaders are experienced breastfeeding mothers who have been through a rigorous accreditation process. I suggest contacting one for telephone help that will be personal and immediate. Many people have suggested talking with a lactation consultant and I think that's a great idea, too, but try to find one that is IBCLC certified. This is the highest level of accreditation of a lactation consultant and they are typically more experienced than others. Pediatricians, OBs and general practice doctors and nurses often do not have much training in breastfeeding questions.
It must be hard to feel like your husband is getting frustrated with you. It's important to have his support while you're in the learning period of breastfeeding--it makes all the difference. You're asking a lot of yourself right now, and both you and your baby are working hard to figure things out. She's never even felt hunger before, because she's always been connected to you! It's all so new and it's OK to feel overwhelmed. I do not think anything is wrong with you, your baby, or your milk, I just think you are in the intense "investment" phase of breastfeeding when nothing about it seems easy or convenient. All this effort really will come back to you.
Many moms find it helpful to lay down to nurse, although it can be tricky to do if Baby is still too little to have much neck control. If it doesn't work now, try again in a few days, because laying down to nurse means you can take a lot of the work out of mtohering for hours at a time! ;)
It's important to remember human milk production is all supply and demand. The more Baby is allowed to nurse, the more milk your body will produce for her. This is why it is so important to avoid artificial nipples for the first few weeks--any sucking on anything but you means less stimulation for your hormones and a potential reduction in your supply. Also, babies nurse for comfort as well as for food and it does sound like she wants to be near you and connect with you. I imagine it's hard work to be born, and nursing is soothing and reassuring for her. It's healthy to accomodate her need to nurse often while you're settling in.
You might be interested to know that a one-week-old baby's stomach is the size of a shooter marble. . . that's pretty small! And human milk is such a perfect food it is completely digested within 90 minutes. So between needing reassurance, helping you establish your milk supply, having a teeny tummy, and eating the superior infant food, no wonder she needs to eat often! It will taper off to more predictable intervals within a couple of weeks. I suggest you watch your BABY, not the clock--an arbitrary schedule will only give you something else to stress out about during this tiring time when you're settling in and should just be loving your baby. I hope you have some help so you can rest often and nap with Baby. . . let the laundry,etc., go as much as you can. This is a challenging but fleeting time and you need all your energy to handle it.
It's great you're feeding on one side at a time--this allows Baby to get the high-fat hindmilk that comes after the initial gush of high-water, high-protein foremilk. If you wonder if she's getting enough, you can count wet/soiled diapers. She should have at least 5 to 6 pretty wet paper diapers and at least 1 or 2 soiled (anything the size of a U.S quarter counts as a stool) diapers per 24-hour cycle.
Pillows or a nursing pillow such as a Boppy can help Baby stay positioned well to stay latched. Her ear, shoulder and hip should be in a straight line. If she has to turn her head to nurse, she will get frustrated and not stay latched. She should get a big mouthful of areola when she latches so she can efficiently compress the milk ducts and so you don't get sore. It helps to wait for a big, open mouth (like a yawn) when attempting to latch her on. Her lips should flange out ("fish lips") and you should her occasional swallowing but not clicking. You can remove clothing, walk your finger up and down her back, or play with her feet to help her stay awake for a feeding. Remember, crying is a late sign of hunger. Rooting and fist-eating come first, and it's easier to try to latch a baby before she is completely hysterical. ;) Trying to delay feedings is counter-productive at this stage of the breastfeeding game.
You may also appreciate the DVD "The Happiest Baby on the Block," which demonstrates a variety of soothing methods. My very, very favorite baby care book is "The Baby Book" by Dr. William and Martha Sears. Both would be available to borrow for free from your local La Leche League group library.
Sorry to be so long and general in this response--I hope it is useful to you.
I am in Ogden (my number is at www.llli.org) but I'd be happy to send you some handouts about rousing a sleepy baby, establishing your supply or anything else regarding breastfeeding. If you'd like them, message me and I'll send them your way.
Hang in there--things get a lot better! You're a trooper! Best wishes!

Hi there! You're doing a great job!! Keep that in mind! Do try to keep her awake for eating - both sides, burp between before putting her back down. Although for the first few weeks these little darling's are heavy sleepers so it can be esp. tough on mom who's trying to keep herself awake as well. ;)

I had an extremely difficult time with nursing due to my sons latch. I call it, most affectionately, my month and a half of hell. I won't go through it all for you but I also used the nipple shield for a few weeks. A nurse gave me too small of a size for the first one though and I ended up with a huge incision on my nipple from a blister. If you do end up with deep wounds from nursing - forget Lansinoh and move right on to Newman's Nipple Cream. It needs a prescription and a Pharmacy that deals in compound making but it saved us!! Also get off the nipple shield as soon as possible, they're a pain. We got to the point where I was in tears every time my son latched on from the intense pain so I spoke with an occupational therapist/lactation consulaant over the phone on a Friday afternoon. She was able to describe a simple exercise using your finger to help baby understand to release their tongue from the roof of his/her mouth. I pumped all weekend to heal up (took another 2 weeks for full recovery), used this exercise on my son and by Monday had a decent enough latch that we could finally move forward. I'm happy to say we're on 8 1/2 months and the nursing has been perfected for 7!! So don't wait, contact professionals who can really help if there is a latch problem. It is so very worth it!!
Also, have your husband help you. All he needs to do is pick her up for you and bring her to you. You nurse then he puts her back in her crib. Husband's get to the point where they can practically do this in their sleep and it's a great boost of moral support for Mom! Good luck!!

I struggled with my son too, and even when we were at the hospital with a lactation spectialist they would just get him to latch and go. I had to formula feed to supplement and after just 3 months my milk dried up. I finally figured out that the reason he wasn't latching well was that i had flat nipples which i never realized... i would suggest using a pump to make sure that the nipple is completely erect for feeding. I know that would have helped me a ton had i known what the problem was. Good luck and don't get discouraged :).

Congratulations on your new baby girl!
It sounds like she has her days and nights mixed up, which is pretty normal. Lots of babies go through this. There is a book that I absolutley love, it is called The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. She is great and a mother herself. Get the book and give it a try. It is wonderful for nursing mothers. I would also suggest you call La Leche or your doctor and ask for a referral to a lactation specialist. She will come to your home and help. It is worth it. Breast feeding is not easy and takes some getting used to. Be patient you and she will get it. She is brand new into this new world and it is confusing and scary for her. Give it some time and patience. I know it can be hard. With both my girls (3 years and 6 months) there were days and nights when I felt like all I did was nurse and wondered if it would ever end?! It does, you both will get on a schedule and it will work itself out. Get the book, it really will help. Good luck S. and again congratulations.

P.S. Try explaining to your husband that is new for your baby and you. If he is frustrated and tired maybe he can go sleep in another room. I am sure he is not as frustrated as you think. Talk to him.

Hello, I would talk to the lactation nurses at the hospital maybe she just isn't getting enough if she isn't latching on right. They make these things called a nipple shield, but as the nurses first(they sell them at Target). This helped my son a lot because he had trouble latching on as well. Then we had a hard time giving it up and going straight to nipple with out it. It just sounds like she is not getting enought milk. Have you tried pumping to see how much comes out?
Good luck! Breast feeding is hard but worth the struggle.

I think that is pretty normal. Just keep trying to get your baby to eat as much as possible during day time feedings, and make night time feedings as quick and uneventful as possible. During the day, I used to call out to my husband, "we need a wake up time!" He would come in and swing the baby around gently and sing, "Wake up! Wake up!" and then give him back to me to nurse a bit more. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't, but I think that over time it really helped. Your baby will eventually stop falling asleep so easily, she just needs to be a little older. Just remember that if she is used to eating at a certain time, she will be hungry then. If you can train her, slowly over time, not to eat at inconveient times - like the middle of the night- then she won't be hungry then because her body won't be used to taking food in then. Feed her if she is hungry, but don't play or talk to her at night. You want to send her a message that night time is for sleeping!

My son had the same issue. He didn't latch on very well. So I also tried pumping and combining my milk with formula. It worked really well. Don't know why but it did. I also uses full 8oz bottles on him, that way I knew he was satisfied. My son was a huge baby so I even added baby cereal, ignoring any doc but sometimes you have to use your own motherly instinct. Hope this helps.
Good Luck!

Your baby sounds very typical for a 7-day old. Wasn't it at night when you were trying to sleep that she was doing somersaults before she was born? Babies are night owls and it is a process to get that turned around.

Some of her crying may not be hunger completely. For 9 months you rocked her with every breath you took, she heard your heart beat and your blood pumping. Once a baby is born, we lay it down in a perfectly still bed and wonder why the baby isn't happy. Doesn't she sleep great when she is on your chest right between your breasts? That's her natural spot right now.

If you are truly concerned that she might not be getting enough to eat, find a Lactation Consultant to help you see how much she is really getting from a feed and to learn how to tell if she is getting enough to eat.

S.
Sucking is a baby's way to calm themselves...that's why she is going after her fist when she is unhappy. Once she can suck on something, she will calm down - hungry or not.

Sleep deprivation is tough; it can make everything seem like it will never end. Hang in there; it will get better.

Hi S., congratulations & welcome new mommy!

Keep babygirl awake while breast feeding--I used to tickle my daughter's feet, rub her head, talk energetically to her.

Burp her between sides during one feeding--nurse right, burp, nurse left for finish off, burp again, the patting for burping will sometimes help keep her awake.

Hang in there!
A.

Have you talked to a nurse? They have them at the hospitals and they can help you make sure you are doing it right. Make sure also that she is not tongue tied. A lot of new mothers may not know their child is and never mention it to the pediatrician. My sisters kids were and once they clipped their tongues, they breast fed great. A lot of mothers think that it hurts the child, but it does not, and causes a lot of problems with speech and teeth later if you do not get it done. Making sure you are breast feeding correctly is most important though. Go to the hospital where she was born and ask for a lactate specialist. They will help you and show you how it is done. The stuff she told my sister would have helped me tremendously when my child was little. They did not have lactate specialist when she was born and I got frustrated and gave up after a few weeks. Hope this helps.

S., first of all, Congrats! Give yourself and your hubby a break. I'm sure both of you are doing fine. You are brand new at this and sleep deprivation is not a pleasant experience. The best thing that my husband and I ever did for our sons, and I know he would say the same thing, is to let hubbie help with middle of the night feedings. If we had any clue what we were doing with Baby #1, we would have started this immediately but, like you, we had no clue. We started this immediately with Baby #2 and both of us have had no less than 6 hours of sleep per night since we brought him home from the hospital and we usually get more like 8 hours.

You need to pump enough milk to have your husband give to your newborn in the middle of the night. You feed the baby and go to bed at say, 9:00pm. First time baby wakes, your husband will give baby the bottle. This should be around 11:30-12. Next feeding you give baby the breast (3:00ish), then hubby gives baby the bottle at around 5:30-6am (he's probably getting up for work anyway so should be a big deal). You will both get at least 6 hours uninterupted sleep plus a couple more hours.

I realize that making this work depends on you having enough milk to pump extra during the day and your feelings about giving baby the bottle. I found no problem with "nipple confusion" in either of my babies. They could take the bottle or the breast easily.

Like I said, having my hubby help with night feedings was the single best thing that I have done for both the babies and our marriage. Also, this phase only lasts a short while. Our #2 just turned 4 months old and he's down to maybe one feeding during the night. Sometimes he even sleeps 11 hours straight with no feedings! Good luck!

this is why there is maternity leave. For the first month, you sleep when she sleeps and you feed when she wants to feed. She will develp a schedule on her own. wait a bi more and then encourage regular times. Maybe write down when you feed and the legth. I had to do this with my first as she waas a premie. i discovered that she did have a schedule eating at the 3, 6,9, 12. she also clustered fed in the afternoon through mid-night. It turns out she IS a night person now at 4.5 years. My son also took about a month and ate at 5am, 7 am, 10 am, 2 pm, 5 pm, 7 pm, 11 pm. so he was sleeping longer at night and ate a lot in the morning. So write it down and slep when she does.

Congrats on your baby girl!
Motherhood is challenging especially at first.
I can say I pumped breast milk with my daughter at first because of constant battles with latching on in the middle of the night. She was a tiny baby at birth and didn't want to latch on and it was very frustrating for us both. So I just pumped. It worked fine for us.

She took the bottle well, I knew how much breast milk she was actually getting and it helped me a lot until I found out that she was sensitive to dairy, any spice I ate and just about any foods I consumed. I had to switch to formula when she was a few months old as I was living off of bread and water. I felt badly however when I put her on Nutramigen her issues were cured and we all got rest and she thrived! :)

Not saying that is the route you need to go through but try pumping during the day and have a few bottles to give her at night. That way you know how much she has eaten and can gauge if she is truly hungry or something else is bothering her. Having her used a bottle will free you up so you can get out by yourself and leave her with your hubby too sometimes or he can help get up and give her a bottle.

I am not an advocate for pacifiers after the year mark but when they are newborn they need to suck and maybe that will help her soothe and help her settle in better.

Also don't feel badly about supplementing either. Breast milk goes through them pretty fast and I supplemented with my son due to his demand of feeding and being hungry so often. When I supplemented with him it was breast milk all day and then half and half during the night in a bottle.
He slept a lot better and didn't demand feeding so frequently.
All you can do is try different things and find what works for you and your daughter. Just don't be hard on yourself and it takes time to figure her personality and her needs out.
My daughter had reflux too very young and when she was laying down she had a lot of issues with her tummy. If your daughter seems uncomfortable laying down on and off and even at naptimes consult your Pediatrician.

Hi S.,
the first 6 weeks are so hard! You are doing great, stick with the nursing, you will get better at it and routines will be etablished, it just takes a little while. If you can just try to devote your energy to taking care of your self so you can nurture the baby well. So rest when you can. Nursing can be hard but I do urge you to stick with it, before you know it you two will have it down! And the benefits are awesome, it will help you loose weight, it is free, and your baby will benefit from breast milk so much! Maybe find some books, look on the LaLeche web sight. Also, what to expect the first year were the books I used for reference. Loike I said, the first 6 weeks are so hard, your body is still recovering and hormones are in your system so you may be emotional too! ( another benefit of the nursing, when you have the let down oxytocin is released in your system helping you relax and bond with the baby). You are fine, hang in there!

Hi S.,
Bless your heart!!

First off... let me assure you that what you are experiencing is completely normal. She has her days and nights flip-flopped, just like every baby that has ever been born.

When I was a first time mom, my little one had a hard time latching on too. It took lots of time and perserverance. I used the resources the hospital offered; a nurse came to my home to help us learn how. I know some other mom's have suggestest la leche league as another good resource. Just don't give up. It's SO WORTH IT!

I strongly suggest you feed on demand, rather than trying to put her on a nursing schedule. That's guaranteed to add to your frustration; forcing her to wait until a certain "time" or worse trying to force her to eat when she's not interested. As she gets older, she'll get on a normal schedule, all on her own. And I'm talking about days & weeks, not months and months.

Do you have her rooming in with you? If not, I would suggest doing that as well. That way you'll have quick access to her when she wakes up. However, I would NOT have her sleep in your bed with you. I feel the danger of rolling over and suffocating your child is way to high. That's MY opinion, anyway.

Your husband needs to participate in feeding times at night, even if only to bring her to you. He can do the supplemental feeding too. We had to supplement at night, as my daughter was never satisfied either. Some people say it causes "nipple confusion" but I never had a problem with that myself. He can also do the middle of the night changing too. At the very least, you need to let him know that his becoming frustrated with you isn't helping the situation. NOBODY sleeps during the first weeks after bringing home a new baby! Surely he knows that?

Just hang in there. It will get better with each passing day. You'll see!

Best of luck!
M~

Yes, this is normal. 7 days is really young and she is still learning how to function in her new world.

1. I had latch problems too. (i had other issues i wont go into here) However, we have a free breast feeding clinic at our hospital. They help with issues like this and have tools and loving coaches to help. They weighed my little guy before and after to see how much he was getting. They ended up giving me a "nipple" gaurd. It gave my nipple a more suitable shape for sucking and we did better.

2. Try sticking to as strict as routine as you can. I know alot of moms who like demand feeding, but I strongly discourage this. (as long as baby is fed) I did the Baby Wise routine and it worked well for us. However, like I said, you are in your first week. Give yourselves alot of grace and sleep when you can. House work and everything does not matter right now.

3. Talk to you husband. When you are exhausted everything seems quite exagerated and your emotions are very sensative right now. Help him understand what you are dealing with and what you are trying. I am sure he is desperate for sleep too and not frustrated with you or your little bundle of joy.

God bless and Congratulations. It does get easier, All us moms can promise that!!!

First of all congrats! I also am a first time mom and just gave birth to twins 6 days ago! I have some advice that I hope will help since I bet you're feeling overwhelmed! We were told by another mother about Dunstan Baby language, it's a DVD that teaches you what each cry means that your child makes. There is a cry for when they're hungry, need to be burped, need to fart, are uncomfortable, and tired. I can't tell you have helpful it has been especially with two crying babies! As a new mom I'm guessing our first instinct is that crying meaning hungry, but with one of our twins he's often crying because he needs to be burped a lot, or he needs to fart and the gas bubble is stuck.
Anyway, I don't know if that will help fix all of the problems you're having, but I assure you it will make you're life so much easier and you'll feel so much more empowered to help your baby! Don't worry about the DVDs being long either, it comes with 2 DVDs but each is only about 30 minutes long. So I would borrow it from a friend if you can, which is what we did. Good luck!

Congratulations on your baby girl!! It is HARD adjusting to being a new mom and IMPOSSIBLE to get the sleep you desire- but although you may go through life a bit like a zombie now- it too shall pass. I would suggest seeing a lactation consultant. If you live anywhere near the Greeley area (I can never tell if they send me only local ?'s or not) they have a FREE lactation clinic in the Greeley hospital. You can go, get help with latching, weigh your baby before and after she eats to see how much she got and also to get lots of advise. You can go everyday, everyweek- whatever. They can also help you know if you should suppliment with a little formula. I had to at first as my baby didn't seem to be getting enough. I think they are open in the morning from like 9 to 1 or something.
Hang in there! The first couple months are the hardest!

My little guy would suck on his fists very aggressively. I figured out that it was due to gas. I started giving him mylicon drops and he was a whole different baby. It was then much easier for me to determine if he was uncomfortable or hungry.

As for the night feeding. This is pretty much the norm for newborns. You will need to keep her awake to feed during the day. I know it is tempting to let her sleep but you need to start breaking this pattern now. Remember you are the one person that she needs to help her transition into the new world. Also, it won't happen overnight.

As for your husband getting frustrated - employ him to help you. If you are able to pump enough for one feeding have your husband feed your daughter once during the night so you can get more than a 3 hour stretch. It doesn't mean he has to take the 3am feeding. If you go to bed at 9pm he can take the feeding around 11pm - 12am. That will help you with stress and milk production.

I helped my milk production along by pumping after every feeding. This took a lot of energy but it paid off in the end. In the first two weeks I suplemented with formula. I would breast feed until my little one wouldn't latch on any more then I would give him 1-1/2 oz of formula.

Good luck...it does get easier...much easier.

hang in there, it does get easier. as your little girl gets older, even by days, she will need to eat more. i struggled hopelessly with nursing and became so frustrated that i started supplementing formala, which helped immensly. i tried to nurse exclusively during the day and only supplemented at night, just for the sake of sleep. and your little one is still learing the baby thing too, she'll get it soon enough. as for your husband, it almost sounds like he needs to be a bit more patient. this mom thing is hard enough to get the hang of and he needs to keep in mind that you don't have some encoded dna that means you know exactly what to do every time the baby cries. and to be more supportive he could try to get up and soothe the baby himself, she may not be hungry, just gassy or in need of a change. my oldest only wanted dad at night and now they, and we, all have an incredible bond(four years on). It does get easier, especially once you, dad and the baby fall into a routine. good luck and congrats!

Congratulations on your new baby, S.! This sounds like a classic case of your baby having her days and nights backwards. I never had it with mine, but I know numerous people who went through this. They all had to gradually reverse their baby's body clocks. If I remember correctly, they mainly worked on keeping the baby awake for gradually longer periods of time in the day. (I know it's tough to try to keep a tired baby awake, but it's the only way to do it!) Even shooting for 10-15 extra minutes per day, putting the baby down at a nap time and then waking her for as long as you can after a couple hours of sleep. Then taking longer to respond to her at night. All of this was done by my friends in a very gradual way, and eventually the baby's body clock would adjust and they were generally on a pretty good schedule by then, too. I hope you find a solution that works for your family!

Nursing can be a learning experience for both mom and baby! I had a hard time with my first girl and it just takes time. It also sounds like she has her days and nights mixed up which usually is the case with newborns. Just try hard to wake her up during the day, every 3 hours at least to eat. She needs a little guidance and she'll get used to it all! I did the eat, play time, then sleep/nap time thing with my kids and both were sleeping through the night at 6-8 weeks. Good luck!

Hi S.

I saw that you already got alot of advice so hopefully I'm not saying something you've already been told . . .

Alot of hospitals have a lactation nurse specialist. I went to one after my first daughter and 7 days of things not working. It was the best thing I did. She was very helpful and got things working much better.

For both of my daughters, I always had to get them completely undressed (they are both winter babies). My body heat kept them warm but they would stay awake better. Getting a full feeding during the day is so important at getting her days and nights in order and getting her full for longer spans of night sleep. Sometimes I would even use a wet wash cloth on her forehead to wake her up.

Also, I would take them out before noon to see the sun. I read somewhere that it helps set their internal clock. Who knows but it also helped with my mood to see the sun so I thought it was good : )

Next, we used Babywise. Alot of people feel very strongly about schedule feeding, on demand feeding. Babywise is a bit of both. It worked great for us. I can't say enough about it. My daughers thrived, they were both sleeping through the night at 7 and 10 weeks. It's a very short book and I thought worth the read.

Finally, remember, you are both very new to this. The first two weeks were the hardest. But it gets so much better and before long you'll feel like a pro!
K.

Start a three hour schedule. Feed her, say at 7 am, force her to stay awake for an hour (undress her to get her cold or give her a bath or something to keep her awake) then put her down for two hours to sleep. After two hours (whether they were spent awake or asleep) feed her again, keep her awake for an hour then bed for two hours. Do this all day then when you're ready for bed, feed her and put her in bed. It will take a couple of days for her to get used to it but the idea is to make her tired during the day so she'll sleep longer at night. And don't be afraid to let her cry and scream for a long time (long time meaning like an hour). She won't die and she won't get hurt; if anything she will make herself more tired and perhaps sleep better for you. There's nothing wrong with letting her cry. If you've checked the diaper and filled her tummy and tried holding her and she doesn't seem to calm down, put her in bed, close the door and walk away. If you hold her and coddle her too much she'll get used to that idea in the future. Good luck! Being a new mom sucks for a while until you both get some sleep, then it gets better!

Oh, Sweetie, I'm sorry this is so tough! It sounds like she has her days and nights backwards (which is normal and common), and part of the reason she's screaming when you put her down might just be because she wants to be with you, she might not actually be hungry anymore (although she might--who knows with babies). I know it's against the rules, and with my first I just sat up in a chair all night for the first few weeks, but with my second I took her to bed with us. She only woke up to eat that way, not just to fuss--it was a little more chaos for my husband, because I'd have to turn on a low light and get her latched on and feed her and then change her, but eventually she didn't need a diap change every time and I could just nurse her and fall back to sleep.
Babies are so wonderful and at the same time so hard to figure out. I know it is difficult right now, but try to cuddle her as much as you can, sleep whenever you can, and, frankly, ignore your husband if he isn't being supportive (they just don't get it sometimes). This time will pass, more quickly than you think, and she'll be sleeping better and so will you. Good luck!!!!

I had a similar problem with my son who is now just 2 week old. After going to the lactation consultant at our hospitial we found out that I want producing enough milk and our son was loosing to much weight and becoming dehydrated. We began supplementing with formula and he is sleeping much better now and I am getting more sleep.
I suggest you meet with a lactation consultant, to they can weigh your little girl before and after nursing so you can see how much milk the little one is getting. Then you will know if she is getting enough and if she is not you can supplement with formula if needed.
Many blessings to you and your family I hope you find a solution soon.

We did Babywise and "The Happiest Baby on the Block" with our kids. Babywise basically says to make sure they get full meals, meaning an average of 10 minutes per side each time. They should be able to go around 2.5 hours between feedings that way. You can let them sleep as long as they want at night. Wake her up during the day at around 2.5 hours. I remember having trouble the first couple of weeks keeping them awake. With one son, we kept a cool wash cloth handy and I rubbed his hands and feet with it to wake him up. don't feel bad about waking her up during the day. She's either going to sleep during the day or the night. You have to be awake during the day, so she might as well join you. Congratulations! GL!

she might be teething. I know it seems kinda young for that but it happens. Is there anyone in the house that works or is just up at night? if so it night be that she is used to that schedual. Also if you have fed her twice and she is still seeming like she is hungery rubb her belly she might have gas, or give her a bath.

R.

Hire a lactation consultant to help you out. I had nursed two babies successfully and I thought I was an expert by the third. However, he was a terrible nurser and we just could never get it right. I thought I could handle it myself because, after all, I had already nursed two children. I never got better and I ended up having to wean him at about two months because both he and I had had enough. Anyway, I always wished I spent the money to hire help (the nurses at the hospital and post-natal care clinic couldn't tell me anything I didn't already know). Be persistent. If something isn't working, make sure you call the consultant because sometimes these things are trial and error. The fee for the consultant would have been much cheaper than formula feeding a baby for 10 months.

Also, see if you can have your milk checked out. My friend had a similar problem with all three of her children. She would produce plenty of milk, but the milk had no cream so her babies were starving. She had to supplement and/or formula feed each one. I am not sure how they determined this was the case, but you may want to talk to a lactation consultant about it.

No one told you to get with your lactation specialist regarding latching. I have a 9week old and we still have problems. He also has reflux. My pediatrician said they grow out of that eventually, which I know because my other two kids had it very early. Don't get frustrated and get some sleep during the day when she's sleeps. Or ask for help. There is not much you can do to get them on a schedule right away. They are in charge for a few months. Always, always consult your pediatrician and lactation specialist for latching and if you may think she has reflux.

Have you tried a Binky? My little girl just needed comfort sucking, not the milk. Latching on would make her upset because she's already full, but she doesn't want to leave you. Cuddle her tight, put the Binky in and just rock her to sleep for a while. You could even put her in bed with you, that way she fees secure and your breast will be available any time if it is a hunger issue. Remember she's just tiny, she's not used to being by herself yet.