I started leaving my son with another Mom as daycare since the beginning of the month. I expect him to cry when I leave, he's a year old and this is the first time he's been away from me without his daddy. We have no family near and all of our friends are young and uninterested in being left with an infant so we just always had him. Anyways after 4 or 5 hours I get him and he looks at me starts whinning and won't let me put him down when I pick him up. I thought it was just because he missed me or really wanted breast milk since he is still breastfed. Now I've gotten it in my head that he's not comfortable with her when I leave. He's plays really nice when we get there. I stay a few minutes kiss him goodbye, and he instantly cries because I'm leaving. She says he calms down within 5 minutes and then is fine. Is he still adjusting or acting out because I left him that he whines when I pick him up. Or is it that he's not comfortable, or not treated as well as he'd like while I'm gone that he's is acting out a thank goodness you're back sort of scenario. I'm afraid that it may be the later...or am I just an overreacting my baby is with someone else mommy? I've been watching her son since he was 7 months old. He is four months older. They get along great at my house so I know he can share my attention with that little boy.
I know it's harder on me than him, lol. Thanks for the reassurance! I just needed it. We're doing a child care swap so it really works well for both of us. She's also pregnant with twins so really wants to save every penny. I started watching her son when she started back to work and I got a summer part time position and wanted to try the swap. It's working great and I don't worry about him while I'm gone. Like I said first time away for Mommy and needed reassurance
Sooo I guess there was a problem. She just told me today not to bring him anymore. He's not adjusting and too much to handle she said.
Totally normal. And I know for my still nursing 2 1/2 year old the MOST important nursing session has ALWAYS been the "Thank God we're HOME!" one! And a lot of working/nursing moms say the same! It's kind of my favorite too, a nice quiet transition from work to motherhood. Now if I could just convince him to let me pee first!
His behavior is totally normal, and does not indicate any problem with his daycare provider. Children save up all of their emotions and experiences during the day, and when they see Mommy, it all comes out. In a four year old, this might mean the child bursts into tears when he sees his mother, or starts yelling at her, "Mommy, go away, I don't want to go home!"
It sounds like this transition is much harder on you than it is on him.
Our first child was cared for in our home by a friend's mom until he was 21 months-old. We moved him to a traditional day care when he was 2 (along with his newborn sister) when I went back to work.
He didn't like the change, and it took a few weeks to transition. Both were OK within minutes of us leaving. But, despite being there 2 years, our son still has a hard time transitioning to new classes within the same facility. He's a creature of habit, and it's harder on him than his 2 year-old sister.
I'd give it some more time. My best advice is simply to drop him off, say good bye, leave, and let the caregiver make him comfortable. He is happy to see you at pick-up and misses you - that's likely why he's getting upset then.
Cherish the moments you do have with him and make the most of them.
Good luck!
its ok to feel this way. for both you and him. im sure he does calm down; as a former child care provider, i saw a lot of kids this age act just this way. and totally normal for him to want you like that when you get back. its like "oh there you are mama, now lets snuggle! dont put me down! i missed you!"
contact a local la leche league. they will have great mom-to-mom info for you.
This all sounds very normal to me. I've seen some children cry at drop off and get all emotional at pick up just like you describe. And yet these same children will be happy go lucky all day long. I've also had children that cry off and on all day no matter what we do or try. Then I've had children that never cried and always enjoyed their time here and begged to come back when they were home on the weekends. All of these scenarios are normal for the children and none of these scenarious raise any red flags to me. These transition times can last days, weeks, and even in some cases months. They can start from day one or they can start later which always makes parents a lot more nervous.
I do tell parents that it sometimes helps if you stand outside the door and wait a couple minutes to see if you can hear when they settle down. Or, put the provider on speed dial and call a few minutes down the road to see how things are.
I would not worry. My son is 18 months and has always done this. He is absolutely 100% fine in his daycare -- it is a large center-type place and I am totally confident he is very happy to be there. When I pick him up, he just seems to want his mama time. He usually wants to be held for about a half hour once we get home. I think he is probably just wanting to be close to you.
I am a family daycare provider--his behavior seems completely normal for his age--especially since he is breastfeeding. I just registered a 14 mth old in my daycare and he cries a little almost every time his parents leave--and that is it in terms of crying, except when he is tired. Most children that age do this--even older children will protest too--my daughter is 2 and just started protesting more when left with grandma whom she adores--then when we return she wants to go home with grandma.
As for the clinginess upon your return--the kids in my care are that way when their parents return and my daughter is that way with me when I return--I wouldn't worry unless you see your child becoming agitated at just the sight of the provider or if he seems uncomfortable with her. Hope this helps.
