Feeling Overwhelmed! Anyone Else?

If you are feeling this way chances are that other Moms are too. Sounds like lots of fuss for that young age. Try talking to the other Moms to see how they get it done ( or if ) and then talk to the teacher about it. My kids are only in PRE-K but their teacher would never put any stress like that on all of us. My advice is to do what you can and if for some reason it's too much, just send a note back to the teacher!

Yes, I understand fully. Fortunately, my son just started first grade so I am a little more adapted since last year. I promise that it will get a little easier as the year progresses. What starts out taking an evening ends up taking about 15 minutes a night by the end of the year. Then it begins again the same way the next school year but you then realize there is hope around the corner. Hang in there, it will get better.

I don't have a kindergartener right now, but maybe if we all just list our mommy stresses, then it'll make eachother feel better because we can think, "I may have stress, but at least I don't have HER problems!" hahaha! Here's mine:

Husband is out of town a lot now so I am the only one around to do EVERYTHING during the week! I don't have over scheduled kids-- we only have scouts... but between boy scout meetings, girl scout meetings, and school activities, it seems like we are shoveling down dinner at least 2-3 nights a week so we can get somewhere-- and both of their troops are at the point (5th grader and 6th grader) where they want you to drop them off instead of stay, so I have to go BACK and get them with the other kids pilled in the car. I have a toddler, too, so he is in and out of the car constantly in momma's taxi! It's especially fun when he has had no nap and falls asleep on the way to a drop off, so I have to take him out of the car, then in an hour or so later I have to put him half asleep back into the car-- which ends up with him screaming. AND my 6th grader is taking pre-Algebra so helping him with homework is oh so much fun! Thank goodness I stay super organized with a calendar and specific places for paperwork and scout stuff. I highly recommend that you get organized NOW because this is just the beginning! Run don't walk to Target or an Office supply store and buy whatever types of bins or baskets will help keep all of her papers organized for you. Train her (AND YOUR HUSBAND) that she is NOT to open her backpack in the car, period. Give her a reward or consequence if you need to until it becomes automatic. Have your husband put the backpack in the trunk if it's too hard for her not to pull things out in the car! Also, I'm not judging you, just offering advice, but I highly recommend that you stop waiting until the baby is alseep before starting homework. I know you think it's easier that way, but you need to try and figure out a different system because if your daughter gets used to doing her homework so close to bedtime, you will have a nightmare on your hands when she is older and has TONS of homework to do. My kids get a quick snack and do their homework right away. We started that habit in kindergarten and boy am I glad now because there is no way it would ever get done otherwise thanks to the dinner/bath/bed marathon that happens around our evening scout activities!!

First and foremost..relax and take it day by day!

I am a mom of 3 ages 7,5, and 16 months. I do not work a full time job outside the home BUT i am on the PTA which I do not get paid for and between meetings, contests, forms, and of course my kids and husband I know what your are talking about when you say overwhelmed.

The trick is a routine..you have to have one and I have had one since they were born but when they are in school and you have a baby it is even MORE important.

My kids come home, my daughter(2nd grade) has a desk in her room and my son(kindergarten)has one in the living room. They are NOT allowed to open up backpacks in the car, even if they are excited to show me something thats the rule. When they come home they put their backpacks in my room next to my desk where i sit down and go through them in front of them one at a time. i look over my daughters homework and info first then she takes it and goes into her room and does it. then my son who doesnet have school homework but i have been giving them homework everyday weekday since they were 4. he has a composition notebook that he has to write his full name, alphabet in upper and lowercase, and his numbers 1-20. after i go through his backpack he has to get his notebook and write what he is supposed to. in the meantime my 16 month old boy is either sitting on my lap or playing around the house. after they are done with homework they bring it to me and i check it, put it in their backpack, they take the backpacks in their room and thats that. did i mention i am making dinner while they are doing homework..yes its crazy busy but routine is the key. find one that works for you and make sure you stick with it.

i would be more than happy to talk with you personally and see if i can help in any way. just let me know. i live in tamarac, where are you?

Good luck!

Wow, of course you need to feel better- how is your diet? Sounds as if you are very low on the correct B vitamins for starters-
and having had 2 babies- have you replaced everything that you used from your body to make their bodies- moms feeling overwhelmed whn they don't have the best food and vits, and minerals to run well- and then wonder why-
please get a nutritional workup and check out WestonPrice Foundation- they have very sane suggestions backed by almost a century of research. I use them all of the time.
Best of luck, let me know if I can help, doc

First let me say that you are not a wuss! It will help you immensely if you implement routines and stick to them like glue. For example, make it a rule that she can't take anything out of her bag in the car. Talk with your child's teacher and see if they are willing to work with you; at my son's school every kid has a "Friday folder" in which forms, requests for money, book orders, etc come home. That way I always know to check that folder over the weekend, and his teachers are reasonably assured that what they send home gets looked at. Its not unreasonable for you to request that if the teacher expects a project to be finished at home that you be given advance notice of required supplies. Don't be afraid to ask the teachers for what you need. Lastly, can you work out a system with your hubby in the evenings so that you split the responsibilities? If you work as a team, maybe she can start her homework earlier in the evening with one of you while the other one is getting the baby ready for bed. Yes, having a school aged child can be overwhelming; especially at the beginning of the year, as everyone gets adjusted and used to each other (teachers and kids and parents). Routine/ritual can save your sanity.

Right there with ya! Im running around with a second grader, 3 year old preschooler, and a one year old. I do my best to keep up with everything going on at the elementary and preschool school (homework, papers, additional info, bring this in and that, coordinating carline vs. biking it to school, etc.)plus their extracurricular activities. Sometimes I feel like Im right back at school with them. It also doesnt help that hubbie travels quite a bit. It is overwhelming but I think it's just the beginning. Im hoping once they are a little bit older they will be more responsible about their things. At least that's what I tell myself. We are here in FL with no family so it's been quite a task, but I try to do the best I can. :)

Hi S.,

Thank you so much for posting this! I have been going through the same thing and was grateful to read all of the responses. I have a 5 year old starting kindergarten and a 2 1/2 year old at home. My 5 year old is missing her nap (yes, I know) so she is EXHAUSTED when she gets home! Then I have to get her to sit and do homework when she just wants to "sit and veg." So, I have to encourage her, deal with a 2 year old, plus cook dinner, run my business etc., etc.

I just keep praying it will get easier! I am going to take the advice about bins!

Thanks again,
D.

S. - YOU ARE EXPERIENCING PERFECTLY NORMAL feelings. I have 3 children, now 12.5, 11 & 9 OK. I had 3 all in diapers. Once my oldest was potty trained, I had another one right after to do. The girls were fairly easy, then my son, who is from a whole other planet ok nothing has been the same with him - ever. So when Pre-K opened at our local Elementary school I was over joyed to have my oldest get a slot. I felt it would free up some hands and time for the 2 younger ones. Well then I was right where you are now honey. My husband was NO help, it was all left to me so routine, routine, routine is all I can say. Baskets for everything with a label. I also met some cool other moms who had more than 1 child at more than 1 school too. You might also find your life is pretty darn good compared to some of the stories I heard!!

Sit back and breathe, it does get better - I promise. Just wait until 1 comes home with Math problems you have NEVER heard of! That happened to me LAST NIGHT.

Take care
M. F

Parenting is very overwhelming, especially when you have 2 children with a large age difference. One of the things that has helped me is organization. Make a backpack "unloading zone" at home, keep their backpack in the same place everyday and have a folder for things that need to get turned in on Friday. Also, with a baby that has totally different needs, try hiring a "mama's helper" a few hours a week to help during the most trying times and maybe she can help out occasionally on weekends so that you and your husband can get "alone" time. It will help you get the clarity of mind you need to get through the week. If you take care of yourself, it is easier to take care of them and have the energy and focus you need. If you are in the Florida Panhandle, try The Babysitter Tree. You can give them your "wish list" of credentials and they will give you customized referrals in your area to interview, negotiate pay, hours, duties and check their backgrounds. Its an efficient way to find someone that fits your families needs. Call ###-###-#### and they will help you find some peace of mind. Good luck and hang in there.

You are not alone! My boys just started public school this year (one in kindergarten, one in 1st grade). A new school, new lunch schedule, new morning drop off routine, riding the bus in the afternoon and both with homework! I was more nervous than them I think on the first day. Especially when I think my last experience with elementary school was when I was in it.

If I may make a few suggestions... first, have your husband take her bag and keep it in the front seat when he picks her up. That way she can't pull everything out on the way home. Second, is your son napping when she gets home? I don't have a baby, but I do make sure the first thing the boys do once they are home (shoes off and a few minutes to relax of course) is do their homework. That way I'm not distracted and they are still fresh in the school mindset. If your son is asleep when she gets home that might be the perfect time to attack the homework. You'll be set for it and then you'll know it's done and it won't weigh on you all afternoon. If you can't do it right after school, have your hubby entertain your son if he can while you do homework with your daughter. Third, is it possible for you to just put the homework back in her bag? If it isn't due until Friday then perhaps it can just stay in her bag until then, in a folder or gallon plastic baggie. Finally, if you haven't yet, speak with her teacher. Let her know you're feeling overwhelmed, that you don't always have all the supplies needed and that you don't always know what to do with the activities that come home. I ran into the latter problem last year when my oldest was in K and boy was it frustrating. Especially b/c by the time he got home he usually couldn't remember what he was supposed to do. In any case, if her teacher is a good one, she'll be more than happy to help you. After all, we're a team, us and our kids' teachers.

To wrap up this long reply, you are not alone. Being a mom is the biggest, bestest, hardest, most rewarding and most important job any woman can do. We want to do it right and do right by our kids. Just remember you aren't in it alone and that there's always someone to ask for help if you need it. Good luck and hang in there. You'll get into the swing of it before you know it. :-D

I wont be dealing with this pain until next year, but I feel for you in regards to being overwhelmed. It never ends, does it. Hang in, girl, its because its new. Remember when you had your first. Now that routine is old hat, as this one will become too.

Don't blame you, just reading about it IS overwhelming! LOL
Ask the teacher if all this "homework" is absolutely necessary. She might not be aware of your side of things and might reduce it. Or you could divide the workload throughout the week and send it then. I'm sure none of it is time sensitive. It IS kindergarden after all. Good luck

Kindergarten is alot different from when we went! Maybe some of these ideas might help:

1) get a bin with a handle or even a large shopping bag and keep it in the car so your kindergartner can dump all her stuff in there BEFORE she gets into the car.

2) set up a school area and organize. whether you use shoe boxes for each day of the week or an accordian file. it will help you keep all the homework, notes, permission slips, party invitations, etc in one place. once you get system in place you won't have to keep mentally organizing yourself which creates stress.

good luck!

You are not alone. I feel the same way and so does my husband. Here is a tip we use. We have our son do his homework first thing in the morning at the breakfast table before his little brother gets up. This may not work with 1st graders and up, but right now with kindergarten it seems to work. Good luck and remember most of us feel the same way you do!!!

Dear S.,
You are not a wuss! The beginning of the school year is always hectic. You'll get into a routine. It just takes a little time. Go to Target and get yourself two storage containers: one for keepsakes and the other for school supplies. When your daughter comes home set aside 5 minutes to go through the backpack. If flyers come regarding upcoming meetings/dates etc.., write the dates and times on a calendar and throw the paper away. You don't have to save everything your daughter does in school. Determine what's worth saving, date it, and put it in the keepsake box. This system (when I follow it) works well for our family. Hang in there. It will get easier.
L.

I hear ya, sister! I have a first grader and a little one. It DOES get better/easier as they get settled into the school routine. Find a mama friend who also has a child in the class, so you can clarify the homework directions with someone else if you need to. I would try to give the baby some floor time with toys, or the exersaucer, to give yourself some time to focus on homework with your daughter. If he is too old for that, put him in his highchair with crayons or play-doh so he can do his "homework" too. That's what my 2 y.o. does. We always do homework before dinner or it's just too late -- my son melts down, can't concentrate, and it's a disaster. Put notes on the refrigerator, or the coffee machine, or wherever you will see them to remind yourself about what needs doing each day. Good luck!

S., A couple of things that might make this a little easier. The first is a no brainer. When your hubby picks your little one up at school have him reach out and take the backpack. right away. put it up in the front seat. The second. Its never to early to start a homework routine. As soon as she gets home put the baby in a highchair and give him a cracker or snack of some sort. and have her sit down to do the homework. Just because the homework is due on friday doesn't mean the teacher wont accept it earlier (have you asked) and if so then get a folder to keep on the counter. put the homework in and keep a page stapled to the outside saying what is due when (very good practice for when an assignment book starts coming home.) Give your daughter a snack and don't let her do anything else till homework is done. at kindergarten homework should not be anything that takes more than 10 to 15 minutes. good luck. Our youngest of 5 is in junior high now so it does get easier.
S.

No, you are not alone. I can't imagine that it gets worse! my son and daughter are 4.5 and 1. He is VPK and has flash cards every week we are to work on and remember to return them on a certain day (if you do, your child gets a lolipop, imagine how bad I felt the first time I forgot!). Assigned snack days, money for enrichment programs all due on different days, daughter needs diapers or wipes (most of the time they tell me on Friday). Nap time stuff needs to be washed, where is his stuffed animal he sleeps with? on Weds the ice cream truck is coming, don't forget to bring money. Every day it goes on and on. I can't imagine throwing more homework on top of it. Oh yeah, cook dinner and tend to your fussy tired baby too right? Then bath time and bed time. I'm going to get a pedicure tomorrow!

Lord knows, I feel the same! I am disabled and I have 2 girls in school this year! My oldest is in 2nd grade; and the youngest started Kindergarten! With the scheduling needed dependent on my own capabilities, day to day, it is extremely hard for me to do it all.. I truly know your feeling about all of this!
I have asked for help from the school, because my oldest is a special needs child; and I have gotten basically no where! She is in special reading class & speech classes! The speech class has done wonders for her speech over the past 4 years. from Head Start to 2 terms of First Grade; and now second. But I am beating a dead door on her reading! To be honest, I do what I can; and get help for what I can't from friends & family! Plus I am very vocal to the school. Algebra started in kindergarden; and on through is out landish in my book, but we are trying to encourage our 2 girls to do the best they can; and what they can't is up to the teachers to TEACH! I will keep you in our prayers and I wish you good luck!
Truly,
Kathy N.

Talk with the teacher and pricipal. Enough stress already...

HaHa...Boy do I know what your talking about! My kids are older now 15 and 18 but I remember feeling very overwhelmed too! The key is to come up with a routine that works for you and to organize well and then its not so bad. Like for example try and teach your daughter to wait to open her backpack until she gets home. Tell her you want to make sure nothing gets lost in the car and you want to look through her things WITH her. If you could get a number for the teacher ( or an email) or another parent in the class you can call with YOU homework questions :)and if you can keep her homework in a folder out of reach so you know where it is when you have to send it on Friday.

Dont worry. Its gets much better! That first few weeks gets tough because they send home a paper for everything you could ever imagaine but that slows down alot.

Good Luck! It might take trying a few different times you do homework etc. to find whats best for you but when you fall into a routine both you and your daughter will know what to expect and it will keep her feeling confident too . Ultimately starting her now doing her homework as close to when she gets home from school as posible will get her in a good habit for the many years you have ahead of you!

Good Luck! It gets easier!

K. :)