Feeling like Our House Is So Disgusting!

yeah, every time I look at the floor in the breakfast nook where the kids get half their meals on the floor

Unless you have garbage all over the place and filth in all your rooms than you are probably just like everyone else; you have a lived in house. I just did some high dusting last week and OMG the cobwebs up by the ceiling were awful. Does this make me a bad person? Nope, just could be a better housekeeper.

Don't be hard on yourself. As long as your kids are well fed and kept healthy and happy then you are doing a wonderful job.

We are getting ready to move, and today just cleaning out the "junk drawer" in the kitchen I filled up a trash can. UGH! Yeah, we all have these kinds of things going on in our houses! Anybody who doesn't, probably has a full-time maid. LOL

Don't worry, I bet their houses might even look worse! Sometimes we all miss cobwebs and we all forget things that we see everyday. They don't even think twice about it I am sure!

Oh I feel you!!! We have pest control come once a quarter and I swear that sometime in that quarter I tidy up my house, but no matter what, whenever they are going to come it is always a disaster!! I usually spend the day before/morning of their arrival picking stuff up and getting the house presentable and I always think "next time I am going to have it really clean when they come!" hahahahahahaha....but hey even if I do have a bunch of clutter at times, at least I don't have bugs! Don't sweat it! I bet your house is going to look so good when all is done and I am positive they have seen at least one other messy house before;)

Of course I feel this way! I think everyone with kids feels this way, let's face it, we've been overrun by babies!

I used to clean all day everyday to no avail. At the end of the day the house was still a mess and I missed time with my kids. When our third baby was born 3 months ago I decided no more pointless cleaning. Time with my babies is WAAAY more important. Now I pick up, do a load of laundry and tidy up after we make a mess. The dishes get done after dinner, toilets get bleach once a week. Oh vacuuming happens a lot because my 4 1/2 year old loves it! Other than that it can wait, and wait, and wait!

Sounds to me like you have your priorities perfectly in order!

I just suggested flylady.net to someone else for a different reason, but i love her practical advice so much that i'll suggest flylady to you too.

I used to get her daily emails that reminded me to do the dishes, and put in a load of laundry etc., five minute fling where you went through and found five things to throw out, just basic stuff but i really needed to see it in my inbox to realize i had to do it now. my house isn't perfect and i'm sure yours is normal, too not a hazardus waste dump, but as you get your house back after having this work done you might like what flylady has to say about making your house peaceful.

Yep. I feel like you do. We are so busy taking care of kids and work and schedules that I am often embarrassed by how my house looks.
I have had neighbors call to borrow things and can't for the life of me find that object.
We need to clean OUT before we can clean UP! Otherwise, we are just shuffling things from room to room.
I am reading: Let Go of Clutter by Harriet Schechter

it is very good. Gives good advice on cleaning out, cleaning up and keeping that from occurring again.

Yes, I have felt that way and that is why I am driving myself crazy cleaning our house right now!! It feels good to declutter too- so don't be afraid to let it all go ;)

.

Hi R.,

Have you ever thought of hiring a professional organizer as part of your fresh start/renovation? I'm starting a professional organizing business, but I live in MA, so I'm too far away to help you. Check with the National Association of Professional Organizers to see if you can find someone in your area who's just starting out and willing to work for cheap (like I would!). Check out Craigslist as well. And don't sweat the small stuff -- we've all got a cobweb or two floating around!

You are not alone!

I don't think you should embarrassed, but I think you SHOULD give yourself a little gift and get your house professionally cleaned. Schedule cleaners to come in as soon as the work is finished. Pay for a big time cleaning. Have them put everything away and scrub every surface. You'll pay a little chunk for it, but consider it part of your renovation budget.

No need to get it done just to have workers mess it up, but you deserve to start off fresh with your upgrades. Plus it'll be a lot easier for you to keep it clean than it has been for you to try and get it clean.

HTH
T.

We have been having our house worked on by the developer since the beginning of February. Just when the thought the construction dust was done we found another problem and they are still doing repairs. It doesn't matter how much I try to dust or vacuum, the dust never leaves. We are so tired of it and feel the same way. We haven't had our house all to our selves and done since then and we have more work to be done. We hate the filth that we have to deal with due to everything and can not wait until its back to our normal dust/clutter. Ugh...with kids I don't think it ever goes away.

Since you have had to move stuff out, go through it with your kids before bringing it back up from the basement and get rid of some of it. You will feel better for a minute. Besides, it's definately needed with Christmas around the corner. YIKES! =)

I often feel like this - but use to feel a whole lot worse BEFORE I had kids - now I just resign to the fact that it's a way of life with children around. And guess what - everyone else knows it too! Our lives are busier, our houses dirtier & our cars messier with children - that's just the way it is. And no matter how dirty our house is, someone else's is dirtier!! I have someone in my family that lays flooring for a living - and my husband occasionally helped him - I never once recall either of them saying 'Wow, did you see that cobweb?'. I guarantee, neither of them would even notice - not even passing the coats over from the back of the door! I promise they've dealt with a whole lot worse, one time or another! Don't be so hard on yourself - you're tackling a huge undertaking! Enjoy your accomplishments...and your new looking home!

My house is a nightmare!!! :) You sound a lot cleaner and tidier than we are, too. We live in about 1100 square feet as well, 2 bedrooms, with 2 kids, a cat, and one baby on the way. Even if I clean all the time (and I surface clean different areas regularly enough) the spiders move in the second I leave the room. Seriously. I had spiders in my makeup box after three days at a conference. That is not you, that is the way the little critters are. I mopped my floor yesterday and wipe it off after the kids eat all the time, but still was sticking to it a bit this morning.

I actually used to work on houses, mostly painting exteriors but also some interiors. There were always people who did NOTHING to get things ready for us--we had to move breakables to move furniture away from walls and everything, no cleaning, nothing. I understand how you feel because I always feel that way about my house, but I can't imagine where I would find more time to keep an obsessively clean home since my husband and I work full-time different schedules and have the kids the rest of the time. They are little enough that, even though I try to "include" them, everything takes a lot longer when they "help," or it never gets done. Anyway, you'll still feel embarrassed because I know I do no matter what people say, but you're not alone at any rate. :)

Oh, and I usually end up talking with the critters in my house--if they stay up near the ceilings and don't bother anyone, I have no trouble letting them visit, but I do periodically "look up" and wipe off those webs anyway. Then I feel guilty. They do keep the gnats down. :)

This will change your entire life if you decide to give it a try! www.flylady.net

I feel like that right now. My husband and I just moved overseas with our 5 month old, even though we don't have all of our stuff yet our house is kinda messy and we are going to have to tidy up before friday when our stuff gets here. We have clutter on the table and on our dressers. Dishes need to be done, but I am pregnant with baby number 2 and I am having really bad all day sickness lol, its so bad I have to quickly walk into the kitchen make a bottle and get out before I get sick. I have asked my hubby to do the dishes but he has been procrastinating. So don't worry we all feel like our house is horribly messy. I hate anything on the floor or on counters when ppl come over, my husband says who cares. I told him I do because it makes us look like slobs if we don't even try. sometimes I wanna bonk him on the head lol. At least you got some of your house done :) that's good. I live on an army base so we can't paint or anything.

We all feel that way at one time or another! I am a SAHM with 2 little ones and #3 due on tues. my oldest is 3! I used to think since I was home all day I should have time to clean all day too....WRONG!!! Don't sweat it! The most important thing your kids will remember is how much time you spent with them, not how clean the house was!! Flylady.net is a huge help too for ideas on how to do quick clean ups so u don't get overwhelmed.

Yep! Its totally normal. We've had the "privilege" of moving every 1-3 years since being married 9 years ago. That has helped get rid of clutter because if we move it twice and don't use it, it goes. But EVEN THEN, we still have too much junk!. We're getting our basement carpeted tomorrow and I KNOW we'll be up late tonight getting the last junk out to the garage. Its just inevitable. But just look at it as motivation to have a garage sale next week. :)

Good luck!

Ok....I am a very anal retentive neat freak about my small 900 sq. ft. house. When I have people over, I constantly pick up and clean and more than likely get on people's nerves. LOL. I will tell you this- #1 the professional floor/paint guys have probably seen worse. #2- In my case I have always been told that you judge your house worse than other people do. #3-you seem stressed out with rearranging, painting, flooring, cleaning, etc....stress makes the smallest things(cobwebs) seem so big.

Dont sweat it, everybody's house gets chaotic!!

I understand, R.. I do. I am no neat freak, but I am in a relationship with a man who is not at all bothered by clutter, has vision problems so he really doesn't notice dirt, dust, cobwebs, messes on the floors, etc, and has ADD so he gets distracted even when he is trying to clean up and ends up leaving half finished jobs all over the place. Before he moved into my life, my house was never perfect, and never even all that wonderful, but I felt happy to have friends over, throw parties, host study groups, all kinds of things at our home. Now I'm always embarrassed to have people come in, even workers who are coming to make it better. It's not easy. We don't do much entertaining because of it. When my parents drop in for a weekend visit (they live 2 hours away), I'm always pretty frantic just trying to get it presentable.

Sigh. I guess we have to make decisions and priorities. Is the love you have and the feeling of home you have worth it? Will the clean up you are doing now inspire your family to be a little more organized? Can you ask for support--even paid help--to get it under control?

I definitely feel this way. We recently downsized in housing temporarily - 2300 to 1000. 4 Adults and two small children. We have most of our stuff in 2 storage containers (20ft and 16ft) and to be honest with you I can barely tell you what the heck we have in them!! I won't see them again until December and I have a feeling we'll be having a huge garage sale after we move into our new house. AND the house we're in right now is so cluttered all day long with my 3yr old pulling out the few toys we brought with us. The kitchen is small so I have stuff all over the counters with a changing table at the entry way to store toys and extra kitchen stuff.

This move has made me realize that we have wayyyy more than we really need! I'm going to check out flylady as suggested by another member - I had checked it out months ago and forgot about her! I wasn't ready for her....but now I am. :)

Hello. I just so happen to paint houses for a living an I can tell you that the things you're worried about are NOT a big deal at all. We all have cobwebs hidden away in some corner of the house! As far as you forgetting to take the coats down, it was thoughtful of you to even think about it! Usually I have to move things from one side of the room to another anyway, like shelves, dressers, that kind of thing. I realize that not everyone has unlimited space in which to store things and that's just fine! One more thing, please don't make yourself crazy trying to keep up with the cleaning. I would wait until the workers are totally done and then clean. If you clean it up every night it's kind of depressing cause they'll just come in the next day and it'll be the same mess. Especially with painting because there's sanding involved and that creates it's own mess. Not to mention stray paint drops, dirt from shoes, etc.

Bascially just know that as much as you think you are, you're totally not being judged or critiqued.

You're definitely NOT alone! :) I have a husband, 3 kids, and a dog in 1145 sq ft house, and both my husband and I work full time. Just keeping up on the laundry, dishes, and keeping everyone fed is more than a full time job! So....major purges & cleanings certainly go to the wayside.

One thing I've read, and always wanted to do, is keep empty boxes on hand (maybe under our stairs?) to put things year-round for a garage sale and/or donation boxes. With kids, it's nearly impossible to keep up on all their stuff: toys, clothes, and miscellaneous - and my kids aren't even in school yet! It's only going to get worse, I fear.
That way, come spring time, we would have some stuff already pre-sorted to sell or give away. I also try to purge and organize every 1-2 months, or as needed.

try www.flylady.net - she has some incredibly useful tools for staying ahead of messes. Hmph...maybe I'll enlist her help for myself :)

If it makes you feel any better, I inspect houses and I think ALL of them have spider webs in their house somewhere. Mine does too! I noticed one up the in vault in our ceiling. Also, those spiders work fast, I knocked down a web in the same spot like 3 times in one week in our garage. Unless you religiously get your house sprayed, its always going to be a problem.

ALWAYS! It can be hard to clean well when you have "stuff" around. Now that you have moved everything it's a great time to purge. As you put stuff away ask yourself if you really need it. Have your kids help out by letting them choose what to get rid of. Give them a task like, "you may pick 5 animals to keep and the rest can be donated." I did this with my 5 and 7 year old this summer and we were able to donate FIVE bags of toys that they picked out themselves (with a little help from me). They STILL have too much but we'll work on it :-)

Just remember that you aren't the only one in the world who can't always find that stray cobweb! Every time I have people over I clean top to bottom every corner and everything is sparkling. Somehow however I almost ALWAYS see a cobweb dangling above someone's head!!!

Relax. Your not alone. It's ok really ")
C.

R.,
Don't worry about a cobweb or that you missed it, you may not have! I have a spider that lives on my front porch, and we have a daily battle about where his web should be. He can rebuild it overnight, so you might not have missed it.
Homes do not be need to be spotless, and clutter free, kids actually have better immune systems if they are exposed to some dirt. So, if you keep the really disgusting stuff down, then I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Congrats at being able to redo some of your house.

one time i had movers move my old couch to put in a new one, there were toys and trash in literally "COUCH" shaped mess on my floor. Now....i run a tight ship, but we all have those spaces where our junky side hides.
I was mortified as i saw the smirks on the movers faces, resulting in some whispering in spanish, lol