Family Showing Favoritism over Anniversary Celebrations

I'm sorry that your family is treating you this way and forgetting your anniversaries. I can imagine how hurt you must be.

I would go. My feeling is it's better to give than receive. To me, this is small stuff. I would imagine that your aunts are older than you and maybe cannot afford to give much.

I would say next anniversary for you guys, go somewhere, do something special for you two and forget about not being remembered by your family.

Hi T.,
Congrats on 10 years !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It sounds a little like this has been going on with the mom & aunt (are they sisters?)for a long time. If the family has ALWAYS celebrated this aunts anniversary, the mom probably thinks you are trying to change a family tradition even IF the tradition is only between them.....
I know it can be hard dealing with family, my mother in law will NEVER accept me in the family, so I just stopped trying. I tried VERY HARD to fit in with her,(when the kids were little it was important to me,now they have thier own relationships with her, and asked me to stop beating myself up over it) but even after being married to him for 25 years she just does not want to include me at any cost,even not seeing her son again. BUT HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT>>>>LOL
So it's probably not you....
Every year we celebrate our anniversary, just the two of us(it is after all only a holiday for us)...If I get a card from our family, nice, if not oh well.
Even this year...OUR 25th!! was very important to me,but not as much to anyone else. I think one of our kids called, it makes me sad BUT.....it is our anniversary, not there's???
I don't know if I helped at all but just know, I'm proud of your accomplishment...In this day & age marriage is very difficult and every year is something to be proud of....
Be glad for all your blessings....& try not to let your feelings about all this ruin your anniversary next year!

One thing I noticed in reading this is it not only seems your anniversary is ignored, but I see no mention of anything for your Mom. I did notice she and your father are no longer together, but is she remarried? If so, I have to wonder why no party for her either? (Just my observation)

I get the idea you would enjoy your aunt's parties thoroughly if you weren't feeling sad about the way your anniversary is neglected. And that seems like a pretty normal reaction.
Do you have any idea why your aunt's anniversary has become such a big deal every year? I can see celebrating as a family on the big anniversaries, but most couples I know prefer to do something as a couple other years, and family members simply send a card or possibly a small gift, and leave it at that.
My recommendation is since you are feeling resentful, you simply tell your mother that you are not going to be able to participate in the dinner, but will send a card to acknowledge the anniversary (if you decide to include a gift, just do it, but don't even mention that to your mom.) In seven years when it is their 50th, participate in the big Golden Anniversary celebration, but just be sure you have "another commitment" on the other years. Then you and your husband go out and have a nice time together on your anniversary. If you choose to do something that includes your children, that would be great. If not, why not ask your mother to watch the children for you while you go out? That would be a nice, subtle way to remind her that you have a special celebration time too. Even if she won't take the children, or even if you'd rather not leave them with her for some reason, just the asking would be a reminder.

To be honest, I think it's a little weird that the family celebrates their anniversary every year! I would NOT be going this year. I wouldn't send a gift, I would not make an excuse. I just wouldn't go. Maybe send a card if you feel like it, but I think it's a little ridiculous to have this party for them, especially if they can't even acknowledge your anniversary and make rude/snide remarks when yours is mentioned!

I know you have hinted...but have you asked straight out...why are our anniversaries neglected? And, if so, what was the response? I would just be really honest and say that you don't expect a party every year (which I think is odd really), but on the big anniversaries, it's not even remembered. Is there something that she's not telling you? Why is it so special for your aunt and not yours? I would have a lot of questions and be honest with her that it hurts your feelings...that you enjoy going and celebrating their marriage, but feel resentful that yours is never even acknowledged unless you say something.

I would do like the others have said, send a card, but I wouldn't be going every year...it's just weird.

A.