Families "In Need" and Understanding Their Extravagant Lifestyles?

One word - entitlement.

As in a hugely inflated sense of entitlement. "I work hard/am a good person/pay my dues/etc/etc/fill in blank therefore I DESERVE an iphone/trip to Figi/designer clothes/etc/etc/etc."

I know someone who hasn't worked in two years, either of the spouses. Why? Some bad things happened at work and hubby was put on disability, then offered another position at a reduced pay but he refused - because he didn't think he had done anything wrong and would not compromise his principals by taking the new position. So he just stopped going to work; he's waiting for them to fire him so he can sue them for wrongful termination. In the meantime his parents & in-laws give them money; I don't know if they're "on the taxpayers teat" but I'm willing to bet they are. They don't live extravagantly, but that's not the point! They are college educated, able bodied individuals refusing to work because "they owe me for what they did to me". Really chaps my hide.

they are living beynd thier means. must be nice to have a cell and a ds. some people think money makes the person. if that is true I am screwed.

Everyone has different priorities. Those families with fancy cars that then lose their house?

My sister doesn't get state assistance, but they have a fifth-wheel, two new, big vehicles, my BIL went on a $5,000 fishing trip and is buying my sister a $900 camera (I am guessing to even it out?), yet, they get assistance from BIL's parents to buy carseats, and pay for school. And they are close to losing their house. I feel like their priorities are so backwards, and I have tried to "guide" her, but they just don't get it.

It's called learned helplessness and a sick sense of entitlement.

I refuse to try and understand their decision-making process because it is impossible to do so.

Let's not forget that these are the same people who will want, uh I mean demand free health care from our government when they get sick or hurt because they can't pay for it yet they'll roll up to the curb of the hospital in their brand new car.

These are the same people like a distant relative in my husband's family who managed to get fired from Subway just so they could collect unemployment, sit around the house and smoke weed all day, and then complain about how hard their life is. They think they are 'owed' something out of life.

ok. maybe they bought the Blackberry, got into a 2 year contract and then lost thier job? Do they cancel the contract, and pay huge fees and then not have a phone to be able to look for a job? There is no rule that says when you fall on hard times you no longer deserve what you already bought. With Verizon, you can get a free Blackberry with a 2 yr contract. Is there supposed to be a line where you go and turn your stuff in when you aply for assisstance?
And maybe, for instance, that parent is getting a small Christmas bonus and want to treat the kids to something nice, since they go without all the luxuries other kids take for granted all year long. When I was in college and lived on public assisstance, do you think that I wouldn't do everything in my power to give my little girl a great Christmas? I have gone without a lot of things to give her a small portion of what her classmates were getting. I have been given a gift card for Christmas and used it to buy her a Christmas present. I have called to make arrangements with my electric compnay to give her a good Christmas, knowing i would be have to catch up in Jan. I would go to the ends of the Earth for my baby, just like you would for yours. If anybody had anything to say about it, I would be really pissed. Until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes, you have no right to judge from the outside. Getting a small, one time bonus or cashing in a gift card to do something nice for my child is my own deal. It's not open for discussion. I don't need or want anyones approval. Gift giving is over the top all over. That is an issue, yes. The poor giving a nice gift should not be your issue.

People get "needs" confused with "wants", and often get their priorities out of whack. People feel entitled to whatever they want, as well as government assistance where necessary. And you are right, people do make poor choices, and sometimes, as long as someone else is footing the bill, they will continue to make those poor choices. I am all for helping out those less fortunate and I can sympathize with many folks caught in a bad situation not of their making. But that doesn't mean everyone should have a 50" plasma screen in their living room either.

I suspect that if they have credit cards, that makes it easier to overspend. I also suspect that many people are trying to indulge their children, maybe even compensating for when they were kids and had to go without. That doesn't make it okay, just that everyone has different motives, even if they are not totally aware of them.

No real advice here, but just letting you know I see it all the time too. I am an emergency veterinarian and I get it constantly. The truth is, we need to be paid for our services. I love animals, I try to do the best I can for them with what people can pay, but I am not the practice owner, and I can't just give away stuff for free. We have to keep the lights on, pay our staff, and I have school loans from vet school that I am still paying off. This is on my mind particularly this morning because last night I had to see an 11 year old dog that had gotten pregnant and now needed a c-section because she also had a huge tumor growing in her vagina, that would never allow for her having the puppies naturally. And I felt horrible for the dog, but I also had the owners reaming me out for our prices being too high and how can they afford it and it's Christmas for crying out loud! And I did not argue with them, but in my mind I am thinking: You are ones that did not bother to get your dog spayed at any point. You are the ones that allowed her to get pregnant. You are the ones who have not been paying attention to her enough to notice that she even was pregnant until she came in last night, and that she has this massive tumor growing inside her vulva. You haven't had her to your regular vet often enough for any routine preventative care. So am I supposed to pick up the slack because others can't be more responsible? If I was the owner of the practice, it might have been a different story, but the best I could do was give the dog pain meds and antibiotics, and have them see their regular vet in the morning (who by the way had seen the dog earlier in the day, and had tried to work out arrangements with the owners for doing surgery at lower cost and doing a payment plan, but they still would not agree to it, and brought the dog to us assuming we could do it for even less, or even free).

Sorry for my rant there at the end, but just saying I know where you are coming from. I see people that can't afford care for the pets that they have chosen to have in their lives, but are still driving new cars and downloading special ring tones for their iPhones, and expect me to cut them a break.

no advice.
it frosts my nuggets too.
i'm happy to pay taxes and donate to folks who need help. i really really resent 'safety nets' being used by people who are just plain lazy.
i almost lost a friendship during katrina when i complained about the folks who used donations to get lapdances. i was PISSED. i donated to that cause to get people food and diapers and housing, not lapdances. but a friend of mine believes strongly that one should give and not have any expectations about what the donee does with it, and maybe after the stress of katrina a lapdance was needed more than bread.
i don't think she's completely wrong (i give cash to street people and if they buy booze with it i don't mind) but i do think that tax money and money donated for a specific cause (eg disaster relief) should be used for basic needs only. we have so many in need in this country, i think it makes many of us nut up to see folks scamming the system.
khairete
S.

Argh, I get very frustrated with this too! My brother and his wife always buy the very best things. They do not like hand-me-downs. Their children have every toy imaginable. They go out on fancy dates more often than I ever do. However they are always broke. They recently filed bankruptcy. Now my brother has been laid off, which is extremely unfortunate... until I find out that they are on WIC so they get free formula, cheese, milk etc, ALSO they get food from the church (free sugar, flour, butter, canned goods, etc- he was bragging about how much baking stuff he gets because he is studying to be a pastry chef) AND now they also get food stamps- almost $800 a month's worth! I have never spent 800.00 a month on groceries. I guess the most frustrating parts are that A: they are bragging about how much they get and how they are going to be eating steak and crab for the rest of the month, and B: Neither of them are working, while my husband and I work full time and will never be living that extravagantly!

The only way I can reconcile this (although I obviously get very annoyed still!) is knowing that I personally could not live that way. The way they live means that their financial business is everyone else's business. It means that their family and friends know all about how they budget and judge them. It means that they do not have a secure future financially, they never know where they are going to be. They are much more spur-of-the-moment (live it up today, then tomorrow won't have enough money for gas to get to work).

I am glad that there are programs for those in need but it seems that many of these programs may be shelling out way more than is necessary. It seems like it would be hard to decide to go back to work if you can get so much by claiming government (and other types) of assistance.

Life's about choices... and modeling those choices for your children. We have this conversation in our household all the time and that's my answer to my husband each time he brings it up!

My BIL lived with us for a year (after living with their sister for 2 years) b/c he had gotten himself in debt and was in school at the time. While he was living with us, we found out that he had taken out a personal loan (he had a full academic scholarship) so that he wouldn't have to work while he was in school... shopped all the time... ate out for lunch every day...bought a slightly used, but essentially new car.... extravagant gifting.... oh wait, he lived in OUR BASEMENT!

We don't live extravagantly, but own everything we have outright (except our mortgage) and put money away so that our children will be educated and supported without worrying about us in our golden years. That's our choice and we live with that choice each time we decide to go with the free upgrade on the phone instead of the iPhone.

Bottom line, these people who make these choices do not actually own anything! They live on credit and goodwill, both of which eventually run-out. If something catastrophic happens, they're in trouble.

People that are on the poor side feel so deprived that they often buy things out of need for the comfort of the purchase. Just like eating too much, drinking too much.... it's all the same. It's their fix for being poor. Makes no sense, makes taxpayers angry, but it's because they feel their kids deserve the same sorts of things kids from well off families have but they just havent figured out how to be able to maintain a job to make it happen. It's a disease pretty much. I'm surrounded by them. They get discounted rent, and then buy a new car. It's hard to understand.

Has anyone ever posed the phrase "judge not, lest ye be judged" to you? I'm just curious because you, along with many other people here seem to be doing an aweful lot of judging on people that you do not know. Not knowing anything about someone and ASSuming that they do not need the assistance that they QUALIFY for is pure ignorance. All four of my children (yes, I had every one of them by my own choices) were born under Medicaid insurance. Why? Because we qualified for it. Could we have afforded to just use our employer-funded insurance? Sure. On the other hand, we felt that since we pay upwards of $25,000 per year in taxes that there was not a damn thing wrong with utilizing a program that we LEGALLY QUALIFIED for, considering we had a hand in funding it. Just as they are making their "bad choices" (as you choose to put it), you are choosing to "struggle." As long as people are following the rules and obtaining their assistance the legal way, what business is it of yours, or anyone elses as to what their financial status is?

ok wow i am shocked at this question and some of the answers. now if you were asking about their horriable spending habits all yr then i would answer differently. last yr we recieved $400 in energey assistance, collected food stamps and wic and my son is on medicade. this mnth was the last we are collecting food stamps and havent had to apply for energy assistance (and i am hoping we dont have to) but my son is still on medicaide and we still collect wic. however we still spend about $400-450 on christmas. for us and our son (and a couple small things for other family members) because guess what people my hubby works two jobs and sometimes 14hr days and when you have to cut back ALL yr it is nice to have one time of yr to spend a little money on those you love instead of bill after bill (and all the gifts are bought with cash NO credit) I wanted to add after reading Beth T s comment that it is NOT easy to get food stamps. when we collected we made $1200 a mnth and for a household of three we barely qualified. it is not easy to get goverment assistance on anything i applied for medicade during my pregnancy and was 7 mnths along before i finally got approved. because everything takes so long and they ask for so many documents, everytime we have to update something (a change in income ect) we have to send almost 20 pages of paper work.

you cant change them, a lot of people think of the blackberry and the DS as necessary, really in thier head these are things they "need". I have a sister in law that went bankrupt lost her house, car, everything but bought her daughter a new "droid" phone for her birthday. It is staggering how people think, just dont play into the poor me I figured since she got the phone for her birthday there wasnt much else she needed so from us she got $20 and a card. I know it sound mean but I just wasnt going to feed the fire

OMG, I think you are referring to my group of friends. Most of them are into debt up to their eyeballs and still find the "need" to go out to bar every week, or go spend $50 going out and doing things, when they are barely making ends meet. It disgusts me!!! I work over 50 hours/week, paying into social security, and unemployment, and all to have these same friends on food stamps, and getting money from the state for various reasons.

My friend (we'll call her Jane) spends alot of time going out, has a car with car payment, and will be done paying it off in springtime. She has decided that instead of banking that money, she is going to vegas for a long weekend with one of my other friends in the same debt trap! She says it's a "way to reward herself for all her hard work paying off her truck." I literally come close to beating her up! Instead, I walked away.

Especially when this same friend owes me over $800 for back rent from when she lived with me for a year (she lost her job for 3 months in there too). PLUS my dad helped put a $3200 engine in her truck when her transmission blew out a couple years ago. She owes them money too!

Her solution is not my solution, and all I can do is walk away from her when she talks about going out and spending money I know she gosh-darn-owes-people is being spent on going out to bar, and that "she's had a long week" from working 3 days... Makes me sick.

To me, I wish Government would thuroughly screen people better for benefits and things of that nature. Food stamps especially! Now adays, people can just walk down the street and get food stamps, there are so many people that go to my church's food pantry, rolling up in mercedz benz's, cadillac's, and other things and it makes me sick to my stomach. People's cars that I've loaded before, have on expensive clothes and talking on their cell phones and talking about going out for a "night on the town", makes me wanna tell them to leave. Cuz the car behind them that has a single mother with 6 children deserves the food more!

My husband has been out of work for over 3 months now, and will start working again next week after completing trucking school. We have NEVER once asked for help from anyone! We have had to cut the cord to all the unnecessary things in our life, and realized that we couldn't have the Hi-Def channels or cable if we couldn't keep a roof over our heads and pay the mortgage on time either.

It's agravating. I have friends who get assistance because they really need it. I am more than happy to help them out. I ended a friendship with someone else though, because she and her husband wanted handouts all the time. She actually sent a mass message out to all her facebook friends asking for money for her house payment because they were three months behind and were about to be forclosed on. Two days later she posted pictures from the trip her family took to a water park after her husband "landed some overtime at work", then two weeks later she posted pictures that she got professionally done by a very pricey studio "just cuz it's been a while since she got nice ones done". Oy.

Just say silently to yourself, "I am so glad I am not them. I am so glad I am not them. I am so glad I am not them."

People that do not care enough about themselves or the community resources they are using (perhaps unfairly) are really people to be pitied and avoided. You can't change them so don't upset yourself trying.

Thats why i like my church so much. We have our own welfare system of food, clothing, blankets, and maybe a little money, but to receive the welfare, you have to do volunteer work for the system, you have to attend church every week, you are personally interviewed by clergy to make sure you need it, you are expected and pushed to get out of debt and find any job you can get your hands on, and you are expected to tithe on your income, whatever it is.

Some people simply have no sense of personal responsibility. A clear thinking person with common sense, like you & me, would understand why a person on food stamps should not buy a Nintendo DS. It goes back to how that person was raised, what sense of morals & values they have & of course....to get political, our governement only contributes to the problem. Some people (not all) on welfare, food stamps and/or unemployment simply take advantage of the system. The mentality is "if it's free, why should I have to work for it?" Some people get more on unemployment than they would while working...so where is the motivation to get a job? The person you are describing is taking advantage of the system, apparently has little sense of personal or financial responsibility. There is data showing our welfare system has contributed to the very problem it aimed to solve. This person will unfortunately, most likely, be in this position for the rest of his/her life...and will unfortunately pass the lack of judgment onto his/her child. What people like this need (those who take advantage of the system) is a swift kick in the butt.

I don't have any answers for you but wanted to let you know I understand how you feel. It is really irritating and frustrating. When my kids were at a different private school, which was very expensive, I found out that some families received up to 50% off of tuition due to their "hardship." Yet, these same families could afford really nice cars, mom getting her nails and/or hair done on a regualr basis, and name brand clothes! This made me so mad because we do without some things, like family vacations, to be able to put our kids in private school and we would never ask for a discount. It is all about priorities and some people do not have theirs straight.

people get things for free.. and then think they can spend crazy. my sister in law is homeless... she lives on the street... she gets money from the government... then she will buy shoes at Nordstroms or Neimun Marcus... i don't do that.. and i have a great job... they don't understand the value of a dollar..

I don't get it either. I know some people who are exactly as you describe. When I got pregnant with my ODS (not planned at that time), we didn't have insurance. It took some time, but I eventually got on Medicaid. I hated seeing people in the office drive up in new cars, wearing expensive clothes, and seeing their kids playing with expensive gadgets. It's like they were taking advantage of the system, while I really needed the help but was getting screwed. Everyone told me to also get food stamps and WIC, but I didn't want to b/c, though things were very tight, we could afford the food we needed (and I planned on BFing so I didn't need the formula). I didn't want to take advantage. It was the medical bills that we knew there was no way we could pay, and really needed some assistance. But not everyone is like that. There are way too many people who lie and scheme to take advantage of "free" money from the gov't. That's what's wrong with the system, and why the people who need the help don't get it, or don't get enough. It's very aggravating.

I think your talking about some of MY family :-( Drives my DH INSANE !!!!!!!! his/our tax $$$ goes to that - YET we're on a budget (we live fairly comfortably) BUT little things, like she (who shall remain nameless) gets her nails (fake) done every 2 weeks - I Think my last Manicure was LAST Summer! and right on about buying the kids gifts - they don't need that Many toys!!!!!!!!!!!! OK now that I'm all aggravated! LOL I don't understand it and I'm glad I dont - I wouldn't want to live that way.

No advice but just know that others feel as you do (I do). I have relatives that are in the boat too or worse. Although they may not live as extravagantly now they do still seem to have mixed up priorities. I know they are in dire straits but they also don't do much to help themselves.

Baffles me too.

Hi There! I just had to respond because I am in a similar situation. I too have family that is claims poor and has government help , but yet spends all the time. My husband was laid off 2 years ago. He was on unemployment while I worked as much as possible. We cut spending and watched are money and were fine. During this time my sister in law bragged about her new kitchen, the trip to Disney, etc, etc. Every time we talked to her it was something new, like ha ha you are struggling, but look at all this new stuff we have. The funny thing is that all in the same breath she would claim poor. She couldn't understand how we were surviving because she surely couldn't if she or her husband lost their job. I just said we budget and watch our spending. Now fast forward 2 years, my husband landed a wonderful job and we are very grateful. And instead of being happy for us, my sister in law was telling other family members that she was sick of hearing of wonderful my husbands job. I think some people use stuff to make themselves feel better about their lives. That is clearly the case in my family. I used to get irritated, but I decided that its their lives and if that's how they want to live it then so be it. I am grateful for what I have and think about how miserable my sister in law must be inside if that how she acts on the outside. You almost have to feel sorry for these people because they probably will never truly be happy. I applaud you for not feeding into the "beast" . I am glad to see I am not alone in my frustration! Take care!

It's becoming more the norm imho. We don't take as much pride in doing for ourselves as we used to. My grandparents would have been mortified to accept public benefits, though they probably could have qualified (with 8 children and my grandpa working in a coal mine).

On the other hand, I have a relative who truly needs these benefits (chronic illness) and can't get them because she makes just a bit too much money (hard to believe because she's struggling). It's so frustrating.

Not everyone learned how to budget and make good decisions about spending. That is the truth of the matter. Unless they are asking you to bail them out you really don't have much to say. Now if they ask your advice then you can tell them but let it go and enjoy your life. You will not be able to figure out how or why other spend the way they do.

I could write a novel about the issues I have with things like this!

What I do is stay away from people who choose to make poor choices. I complain with my votes and my pocketbook. I wouldn't do for others what they refuse to do for themselves. We live in a world where wants come before needs. It is a shame but it is true.

Until society changes the way it thinks...and elect those who believe the way we do, you are fighting a losing battle. Remember you cannot control what other people think or do for that matter.

Isnt that aggrevating... gives people the wrong impression when someone who really needs help comes along........ Booooo

It makes me want to poke their eye out sometimes. I know a few of these and as a tax paying family, it irritates the poop out of me!

The thing I tell myself to not let it sit on me & eat away at me is this: The job market is still very challenging. My Step-dad is a very skilled man and yet, it took him a year to find a job when we moved back home from out of state. Now, my mom made enough money at the time that they didn't need assistance but if these families don't quite make the money they need to get by & they get the unemployment/food stamps and it gives them much more than they really need, that's why they buy the extra expensive gifts & such.

...I know I am just blowing smoke up my own butt on that one but it helps me not want to, as I said, poke their eye out. LOL!

I had to stop being friends with a woman like this. They both work and were getting all sorts of help from the state, her boss, agencies, and people.
They were caught taking benefits they didn't quality for anymore and cut off from most. Both were given jobs they were not qualified for and were also given the training to do the jobs more than doubling their income to $46,000 a year. People did this to HELP them help themselves.
They have a way to be nice and tell a pitiful web of tales that sucks people in. I am usually hard and objective, but admit was pulled in twice during emergencies. No more.
And can you believe that they HAVE to pay 5% tuiton? The greedy church school won't let them have a free ride. LOL
They have a HUGE TV with all the features. We don't even have some of the things they have and we live in a country club. I hear you.

I totally hear ya! SOOOO frustrating. I see things first-hand like this ALL the time and the thing that kills me is how the resposible people end up paying for it (in the literal sense)! I could go into more detail, but I think we all know how that works. They are able to spend and spend on wants because they know their true needs will not go unmet - the blessing and the curse of living in America. We have family members like this as well. Of course we all want the best for our families, but that staement needs to be followed by "within our practical means" ...to demand (buy) these "fun to have" things while others pay for your living expenses is just irresponsible, disrespectful, just wrong. Hang in there! Sad that common sense responsibility seems to be so lost - determining needs from wants, less money going out than that which comes in, things that just make sense...but selfishness seems to have taken over, ugh!

I completely agree. My husband and I have been working our asses off trying to save for a house while my BIL and SIL got to live rent free for a year (with family so they could save for a house) were barely able to come up with 6,000.00 but had loads of clothes, electronics....etc. Its just not fair how some people don't unstand how to live meagerly. Don't listen to the people who are coming down on you, I understand what you mean.

I guess we can't really know unless we are in their shoes.... However, I would venture to say that these habits got them into this situation to some extent in the first place. I see how it can be frustrating, but I have to remind myself that I'm more fortunate, and therefore have a different perspective...

It is really hard to be poor in in our society. If you have to do without shampoo, soap, new clothes and shoes, etc...so your kids can have things they want then it's your choice. I miss Pantene shampoo and conditioner, my hair is paying the price. I miss having healthy food so I can buy good snacks and food for the kids, I eat small servings so they can have seconds and thirds if they want it. I don't own a pair of socks right now so the kids can have extras.

If I had the money I think I might buy them a game system so they could enjoy playing fun games and enjoy being a kid. If they had the game systems and if I was asked what they wanted I would tell people they wanted games to go with their systems so that they could enjoy them more.

Kids should not feel bad because the parents are poor or low class.

Me either. When times were good we spent like crazy. Boy do I regret that now. We are over 40% off with a large part of expnses not able to be reduced. I cook every night now and have seriously done without for about 14 months now.

I know people who cry poor all the time yet eat out several times a week and still shop. I don't get running up cc bills or getting assistance unless you cut out all extras. Over 3 kids I spent like less then $200 last year. They were fine and it was not about the gifts

I get frustrated with that all of the time...especially with the people that I end up having to feed b/c my family has been smart with what money we do make and they haven't. I think that it's smart that you do not want to play into their game and that's good. I know that each person has to make their own decisions and if it doesn't affect you, than maybe you should let go and not worry about it. There's SO much in this world and our lives to worry about that those other people have to just make their own decisions.

It's crazy but it's our society. I have to have everything my nieghbor has and more. They can't pay their bills and have collections after them but buy a new 42 inch flat screen tv, the kids all have ipod touches and gaming systems, they even drive brand new cars.
A lot of them do it on credit and that's how they can, it's easier to make a paymet of $200/month for something brand new than it is to save your money and pay cash when it comes to a car.
I don't know what it is. My brother doesn't get government assistance but they don't make a lot of money, but they've been borrowing as much as they can get every year while they go to college PART TIME. I'm talking $30,000 one year! It's insane, they spend it like it's income after the school and books are paid which after their grants and financial aid, they likely have an extra $20,000.
It is easier to buy on credit and then worry about it later. Thank God I'm not in that situation. I got in trouble in my early 20's w/ credit cards and learned my lesson. I use mine a lot now but pay it off every month. There was a time I didn't use one at all. My husband came from a marriage where they lived on credit and his wife had a terrible problem spending. After 6 years we've been married, he just finished paying over $60,000debt off back in September!
It's out of control whether people are living off of government assistance and the general population who lives off of credit.......

You don't need to understand them or feel bad about how you feel. That behavior is wrong and they are stealing. Using the government for necessities so that you can afford luxuries is wrong, plain and simple. But many many people do it. It's a drag that it's in your own family, so you can't escape the annoyance of seeing it.

We work for everything, pay for everything, and at the end of the day can't afford any of those things which is fine with us, we're thankful we can afford necessities and don't want the corn ball material garbage and wouldn't spoil the kids with it if we could. We spend hundreds of dollars a month on medical bills with no insurance and want no state aid. We believe we should pay for the service since the US doesn't provide it, and in the future...maybe we can move to Europe or Canada if the medical bills get too out of control for us.

But you can't change people. We can't participate in gift exchanges etc, so we're always telling people not to get the kids stuff. They get a lot already from grandparents in the mail, and we spend other quality time and buy some cheap stuff. If I were you, I'd just tell those people not to get you anything,and don't get them anything either. They're obviously getting enough.

Try not to focus on them because it is an energy zapper!!! The important thing is that you are making sacrifices and prioritizing things in your life the way you see fit, and that is the only thing that you can control. Your children will grow up with good morals and values that you have taught them as a result and you will feel good about your decisions at the end of the day. When you find yourself thinking about it again, just re-shift your energy to something else, maybe commend yourself for how hard you work to keep your life in order for example! Life is too short to let negativity (or perceived negativity) bring you down!

Plain and simple, we are in dire need of cultural reform.

i have that same issue, i have a friend that i havn't talked to in almost 2 years that is the same way. she had 1 child and applied for food stamps but was denied and she asked the case worker what to do to get more help and the case worker told her HAVE ANOTHER BABY! and guess what, she was pg less than 2 weeks later! i'm like REALLY you put a bad name to ppl who REALLY need this assistance.

i think all welfare should be time limited and will only help up to so many kids...well help up to 3, after that you're on your own.

makes me sick to see and know ppl pop babies out for welfare. my dh's brother who's ex wife used to and still does buy mcdonalds for their 4 kids, makes me sick!

and it's reason's like this dhs has to put such a low max income that keeps ppl that honestly pay their bills and just a tad over the limit every month and ends just dont meet therefore the children dont get the adequate food they NEED because other childrens parents are spending it on junk!