False Pregnancy

I am so sorry to hear about this. I went through nearly the same thing. My husband and I found out we were pregnant for the first time and were ecstatic!! At about 8 weeks, I didn't feel well and then started spotting. I called the doc and they had me come in for a vaginal ultrasound...that is when my world crumbled around me. We didn't see anything on the ultrasound. The technician asked how far along I was. I told her... and she said "That is wierd". I asked why and she said she doesn't see anything. We spoke to the doctor and she said that she was diagnosing me with a Spontaneous Abortion. (basically the pregnancy didn't take and we lost the baby for no reason) They also tested my HCg levels and they were SOOO low. That night I ended up miscarrying.

Just be there for her. She may go through feelings of wondering if it is silly to feel so sad even if the pregnancy never really took. But of course, she should feel sad. She will also hear lots of "Well at least you weren't further along" as if it isn't as much of a baby. That is one of the worst things to hear. Just help her validate her pain, encourage her to recognize that this is a real loss. We refer to our miscarriage as our Angel Baby. I also wrote a letter to my Angel Baby in the pregnancy journal I had started and kept it. Most of all, just be there to wrap your arms around her when she needs it.

Editted to include: also remind her that most people that miscarry go on to have incredibly healthy pregnancies! It will happen!

P.,

I hope all is well with your friend and her baby. I've never had any experience with that kind of problem, so I'm no help. I just wanted to give my prayers and support to your friend. I'll be praying for her and her baby.

Shaun

Hi P.. I went thru what your friend is going thru. I tried to get pregnant for 5 1/2 years. I miscarried my first one and then went to a fertility dr who was absolutely wonderful! I then got pregnant a second time and have a wonderful 6 year old son, then 2 more miscarriages and then was pregnant with my daughter! 2 of the times, the ultrasounds showed just the empty sac. It is totally devistating to go thru miscarriages especially if you have been trying to get pregnant for a while. My advice to you is to just listen to your friend and be there for her to cry on. Don't tell her that "it will happen" and if she does miscarry that it just "wasn't meant to be" those were 2 things people kept telling me and I hated to hear it. Tell your friend good luck. I hope things do work out for her. If you or her need to talk, you can email me any time.

S.

I hope for your friend's sake she is not as far as long as she thinks. It is devastating to hear the words that you had a miscarriage. I had a similar situation before my first son was born. I had a positive pregnancy test and started spotting about 9 weeks. The lady I worked with had had a miscarriage before, so she told me to call the doctor right away just to be safe. They did a vaginal ultrasound and said my sac was covered in cysts, and there was no baby. My hormone levels were extremely high, that's why it came up positive. They called it a partial molar pregnancy and I had to go through 6 months of blood work until we could even start trying again. My husband and I both believe in God and believe that it was not our time to be parents. Although, it was the hardest thing we ever went through as acouple, we believed that He had a plan for us. After the bloodwork was done, we got pregnant immediately after that, and now have a beautiful, healthy boy. And two years later, we had another beautiful, healthy boy. We can't imagine life without them!! The ordeal brought my husband and I closer, and it showed me how supportive he could be in a tough situation. I also had a great support system at my work. Four of the six girls I worked with had miscarriages, so they helped me out a lot. It's more common than people know, it's just hard to talk about. So, if your friend truly believes in God, she will understand things will work out the way they are supposed to. If she doesn't, just be there for her. I had friends that didn't know what to say to me after it happened, and unfortunately we just grew apart. Be there for her to come to. I really hope it works out for her!

Well, I would say it is definately likely. Although, what I'm confused about is that she was on a fertility treatment? Then they should have been monitoring the rpoduction of eggs through the cycle, therefore know exactly when they egg should have released. A 2 week margin while on treatment is a lot.

If she's not being monitored closely then I would say it would be possible that she ovulated late (I did and was 1 week less than I thought, but there was a heartbeat at 6 weeks.
I am 36 weeks now.
My biggest suggestion would be helping her be distracted so she doesn't stress, its better for her pregnancy that she's relaxed.
Just be there if she wants to talk about it, its painful to try to and not be able to, and scary to think you may not be able to have a child :( Ours is a miracle after 7 years.....and then we got preggo right away so our daughter will be 11 months next month when our boy is born (7/10/07)
Anything is possible!!! :)
Amy

I had a good friend that was told she had an empty sac around 7-8 wks, but was actually pregnant! It can be very difficult to tell if the sac has an embryo at the early stages of life. The blood work should tell her more...the HCG should be increasing with each draw,. I think they draw every 48 hours. Hope this helped.

i bleed through out my entire pregnancy. i didn't even know i was pregnant until i went to the ob/gyn for a reg checkup. i had just gotten off what i thought was a light spotty period...boy was i surprised!!!!! they did an internal and determined i was about 3-4 weeks...there was a sac, but it looked empty too. so maybe she just miscalculated the dates. we didn't see a heart beat until about 8 or 9 weeks. tell you friend not to give up...at least not yet.

That is likely to happen. I've heard of that happening before. Although unfortunately more often than not the pregnancy does not progress.

we tried for 2 1/2 yrs before having my son and had 2 mc's during that time. To support her just be there for her and be a good listener.... the worst things you could say to her is that "it was for the best, you want a healthy baby don't you" (even though she might agree with this the last thing she wants to hear is other people say it) or "it'll happen just try to relax" and don't completely ignore what she's going through even though it was early she was still attached and still really wanted the baby especially since she's been trying to for so long. She'll go through a grieving period and might get depressed etc. Just be there for her as a friend with no judgements.

Good Luck

I don't know how likely it is, but it happened to my husband's cousin. She was rushed to the hospital from the dr.'s office for tests and more ultrasounds before they realized she just wasn't as far along as she had thought.
Hang in there and, while not getting her hopes too high or telling her it's all fine, keep her from dwelling on the negative because the stress could do damage.
Keep us updated.