"Fair"- Xmas Gift Question

I think it's crazy to buy children this young such an expensive toy. Yes, it is a TOY!

NO, they don't each need their own. They each need to be allowed to spend "x" amount of time on the tablet.

No help here, I would never buy my five year old a tablet let alone a three year old. Wonder what they'll be asking for at 15.

Why not make this a 'to both of them' gift? That way they know ahead of time they need to share it. Might make it easier than if little brother asks to use it and sister says 'no, its mine'.

I think it's not about the money. It's about the image you want to create in your home with everyone having their own electronics so they can be even more isolated from each other. I think it's going to be a hard habit to break if, within a few years, everyone gets their own TV, iPod, computer, XBox and what not. You will probably find what a lot of people on Mamapedia and elsewhere complain about - a lack of family interaction, isolation, lack of socialization, and every kid wanting what "all the kids have." You can go through life preventing fights by giving in to every demand. If they fight over it, it goes on the closet shelf and no one gets to use it. Disagreements are part of life - it's knowing how to deal with them that is a true life skill. And if your 5 year old is not responsible, why would you give her one now? If they fight over YOUR iPad, then neither of them gets to use it. You may not want to buy them each expensive electronics at this age. It's a slippery slope you may not want to start on!

I do think 3 and 5 are too young, but you know your kids better than mine. I'd personally rather solve the problem of them fighting over it by setting up a schedule. They have to adapt to the family possessions, not the other way around. When my kids fight over a toy, the toy goes into time out for causing the fight. When they learn to share it fairly, it comes back out.

I don't do "fair" in my house. Age has it's privileges. A child who is 2 years older is going to get different gifts, no matter how responsible they are with toys.

I have two boys who are 18 months apart in age. My eldest does get some nicer, more mature things, because developmentally, he is at a different level.

It's okay if the younger is a little upset. Not everything has to be equal. I think it's better that they get used to this now than later, when you have to explain that your 12 year old doesn't get to drive just because your 15 year old got her permit. They're not equals. You shouldn't treat them like they are.

It all depends. Exactly how far ARE you willing to go to prevent fights? Are you willing to enforce making them share nicely? Doesn't sound like it. Learning to share is a skill they NEED. Always getting along because they don't have to share is not the way I would go. Really. They are 3 and 5. Learning to share is something kids that age desperately need to be taught. It doesn't come naturally.

Eventhough, they know how to use tablets, I think both 3 and 5 years old is too young for a tablet..period. Since you have one tablet, why not teach them to share as opposed to..........you will always get what your sister gets, to avoid fighting and disagreements. What implications will this create in the future? Siblings disagree, that what they do. I disagree that they need their own.

I agree with others that said I would make this a gift for both of them and definitely make a schedule and set time limits to limit fighting. It's a gift with conditions.

Frankly, life isn't "fair". I guess I'm the only one that thinks getting a 3yo a tablet is a bit much. In fact, I think "his almost 5 yo sister" is too young for one too. But that isn't what you are asking.

Anyway, gifts should be age appropriate and does not have to be all equal in value. To be "fair" in our house, we get the kids the same NUMBER of gifts, but don't spend the same amount of money. This year, the amount we spent on the kids is very different. My 10 yo son wanted a BMX bike, we spent $200 on it and $50 each on 2 lego sets he wanted. My 13 yo daughter really only wanted a DSi, which was $130 and a couple other things for her. The "big" gift we got my spec needs step daughter (16 but mentally 5) was a Bed in a Bag that was $60 and some purple clothes because that's her new favorite color. So the amount of money we spent was not the same, but they will all open the same amount of gifts. So I think your 3 yo can share or now that your daughter will have her own, he can use the Ipad primarily. Just my opinion. Good luck.

Personally, I think the idea of buying a tablet for a 4 year old AND a tablet for a 3 year old is ridiculous. If you want to be fair, buy one tablet for them to SHARE. Don't make it hers and don't make it his. Work out a schedule of when each child gets to use it to eliminate fights and ensure that they get an equal amount of time, without either of them getting too much time. They need to learn that expensive gifts are to share, or you're going to be buying an awful lot of double stuff in the future.

I know you want to do it. I know his sister having it will cause jealousy from the 3 yr old and yes, I do see many fights on the horizon. But that can happen with any "toy".

It's not appropriate for a three yr old. Using your iPad occasionally is fine but he needs to be playing with toys and socializing more than "learning" on a tablet.

Sorry, I am not going to give you a "pass" to go out and get one. You know it's not good for him at this age. Its not fun to have to referee or to ensure appropriate play but you have to do the hard work of parenting along with the fun stuff to get the right result.

I'm all about teaching my children to share so, no, I would not be getting another tablet. I would make it a joint gift. If they can't share it, then it becomes mine for the day.

It should be one tablet as a gift for both of them to use. There are learning apps that will help him with colors, shapes, letters, etc. You don't need 2. They won't be the one taking "real" care of the tablet. It'll be more of a family tablet.

Get him one too. If he doesn't throw it or stomp on it then it will still be around when he's older and can really really enjoy more in depth things.

Last year 2 of my grand kids got Kindle Fires for Christmas. They were 3 and 4. This year we are getting our 6 and 9 year olds tablets. They have kids place on them where they cannot access the internet, they cannot download anything, they can only play the games or use the apps that we have installed in the Kins Place.

We love these tablets. They are Nexus brand from Staples.

I think if we had a 3 year old they would have their own but they would have restrictions. They could play with it in my presence, in the same room as me or where I can see them so if it was left of the floor or in a precarious place I could help them learn to take good care of it...that sort of thing.

But I would get a 3 year old one if the older one is getting one. Yes, I truly would. We would have done it last year if we could have afforded them.

I don't think he needs an Apple.. there are cheaper ones that do just fine..
We are thinking about getting our 11 year one, but it won't be an apple..
that to me is just crazy money spent..
However, I will add that IF I had two children, I'd make them share.. in a household of three people, we ALL use the upstairs computer, in particular my son and I.... and we do take turns..
Maybe for your kids, you could allow the 3 year old to use it while his sister is in Kinder (if she is) and allow her to use it when she gets home..
compromise?

good luck in whatever you decide to do

Why not just make it a gift for both of them to share? That way, they have to take turns, which will automatically limit their time. No child that small needs his or her own tablet. I would suggest that you have one for the "family" (i.e. kids but don't actually tell them that it's theirs) that they may use, when it's their turn, with your permission, for a set amount of time. My four kids share a computer, and we have one iPod Touch for the family. My older kids (teenagers) have phones so they don't use the iPod but the younger boys use it for a few minutes each day, and because it's not "theirs" they know that the use is privilege and is limited, they don't get entitled over it and think it's just theirs to use whenever they want.

I would buy something appropriate for the 3 yr old instead. They make a lot of preschooler/toddler friendly devices that are sturdier than a tablet. There are going to be times when things are simply not appropriate for one child or the other and they'll have to deal with it. Getting something for both sometimes just makes the older child mad vs making everyone happy (SD getting a cell phone at 10 when her brother had to wait til 13, my sister getting a car and I had to wait, etc.).

And so what if a 3 yr old is upset. It's a tablet and you're the parent. He'll get over it. Really. What's "fair" is that an older child receives what is appropriate for her age vs the younger child receiving things that are inappropriate for his. Make them learn to share and get along vs placating the fighting.

I am REALLY big on making things as fair as possible (even though life isn't fair) when it comes to Christmas gifts and know exactly where you are coming from and totally can follow your thought process....now, with that being said, I would not buy my 3y/o a tablet. I *would* make sure he also gets something he wants as much as his sister wants the tablet, an equal big ticket item, just not the tablet. I would however get him the tablet when he is 5. I like setting 'appropriate ages' on the more expensive electronic items. ***I am NOT saying that 3y/o is too young to play on one (my kids LOVE our Ipad) I am simply saying that 3y/o is too young to have their *very own*, IMO, that's all. I am as equally BIG on trying to make sure that my older kids get certain perks that the younger ones don't, just out of respect for their ages, ya know?

~If sister now has a tablet, I would think that your son will have more time to just play with yours since he won't be competing with his sister for time with yours and they will no longer have to share yours, right?

MY 10 year old got an ipod for his birthday but my 7 year old got a 3ds (to replace his ds lite)instead. The 7 year old loves his brothers ipod, but I still think he is a bit young to be responsible for one, because he is always losing his ds etc. Anyway, he asked for an ipod for Christmas, but I am telling him he needs to be a bit older. Maybe for his 8th birthday. It's also not fair to my 10 year old if his little brother gets everything at the same time. If he had to wait uni he was 10 to get something, then his brother should wait...

I see no problem in getting your son a tablet as well. I don't really see it as a 'fair' thing. We have always tried to keep the dollar amount spent on the kids the same. So fair in that regard.

Personally I think they are both too young for that type of electronics. Take the electronics away and let them use their imaginations to play. Imagination leads to invention!

IMHO, kids don't learn to use their imaginations. They are handed things like electronics which takes away the need to use one's own imagination. It's sad state, if you ask me.

My 5 yr old and 3 yr old use my iPad too, but they also have a Leap Pad, which really helps stave off arguments. The Leap Pad is only $99, and there are ton of apps available for it. My kids especially like taking and altering photos, and doing little videos. It isn't Hollywood quality, but it passes muster for their age.

I got a inexpensive tablet for myself this year. While primarily my almost 4 year old daughter will use it more and we will have more preschool apps than grown up apps, it is still mine, and she must ask to use it all the time. At 3 your son will definitely know that he didn't get one and will be upset. I'd rather have fighting between my kids than have one think that the other one is liked more. Although we all know that is not the case, your 3 year old may think you like your daughter more than him. I wouldn't get 2, I don't think it's needed, but get you another one. Also, when we had family electronics we had time limits on the electronics and if we fought or complained we lost our time. It worked well. Sometimes more than one of us would combine our times so we could have more time on the games, and very rarely we would lose time from fighting. The time on the games was way more important than fighting about it.

It's like having a Leappad tablet that does more. Many moms buy their little ones the leappad version I don't see anything wrong with a regular tablet instead. I say get one for him too. If you travel in cars or planes it will be much nicer for them each to have their own.

Go with an innotab or leapfrog leap pad.

This year I got my 11 and 8 year old their own tablets. Not ipads, as not child needs one of those, but 'lesser' known name one (the key is to make sure it has ice cream sandwich). That left me with the 6 and 3 year old, I just feel they are to young, and besides they could still use mine, or my phone, as they have already been doing.

So after some research I went with the Innotab2, I think it's a good compromise for the ages.

They can share. You just have to make sure you monitor it and are in charge of it. Also, make sure you write both their names on the gift tag, so they understand it is to be shared and does not belong to one or the other.

get him the preschooler's Innotab...or whatever it's called. I think VTech makes it.

or do as others have posted & give the gift jointly.

Sharing can be a good thing =)

I wouldn't buy a tablet for a 3 year old. I think that is too young. personally. my daughter is 10 years old and she is getting a tablet for xmas this year. that is her "big" present.

Wait a million seconds. Did she really, really say that her 3 year old is responsible?