Extremely Skin Sensitive Daughter

My sister was the same way! She had been diagnosed with ADHD though and the doctor told my mom this was often seen in children with ADHD because there was too much information getting in and her senses were overloaded. She's 20 now and still has sensitivity issues.

I just wanted to say I am sorry. That has to be so hard. if it was me, I would take her to the dr. Maybe the problem lies deeper. Best of luck.

M.

Since you try not to give in, and you seem to be rather firm in the situation and it's still going on I would definitly say it deserves a docs appointment. There are so many other things that could be the reason for high sensitivity skin that the doctor could maybe help you with, or even just give you advice on that you never thought of before. Like you said it hasn't been going on for months but for years, therefore it isn't just a stage.

Take her to see an occupational therapist that specializes in sensory integration and it can make a world of difference! This is real and she is not just trying to be defient. Her sensory system gets overloaded. If you turn her socks inside out they shouldn't bother her as much. Cut the tags out of her clothing. I heard you mention autism, all autistic children have sensory issues but children can have sensory issues without being autistic or on the spectrum. It will not get better by ignoring it and it can get worse.

Hi S.-
I am an Occupational Therapist and I work with many children who exhibit behaviors and feelings as you have described with your daughter. Although I cannot diagnose her because I've never worked with your daughter, it sounds like she may have whats called Sensory Processing Disorder (in the area of sensory discrimination). There are many ways to help her come through this and decrease her skin sensitivity (without medicine!) I recommend making an appointment with an OT at Rehab Dynamics in Sylvania (check with your insurance and Rehab Dynamics to see if you need a doctor's referral and order for an OT evalutaion and treatment.) Hope this helps...I know it seems overwhelming, but this is an easily treated diagnosis that if this is truly what she has, life will change for the better :o)
**Let me also note that sensory processing difficulties often go hand in hand with other diagnoses (ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, etc.) Just because your daughter may have difficulty in the area of sensory processing DOES NOT mean that she also has one of these other diagnoses.

Sounds like Sensory Integration. Hyposensitivities and hypersensitivities or sensory defensiveness. Look into an occupational therapist who will give you suggestions on how to help your daughter learn to process these textures.

As a teacher, I have met more then one child that is similar and they have always been physically and emotionally sensitive. No seams, no tags, comfy clothes, no light touches, won't touch/eat certain textures.

You are not looking for a label, just a way to help your daughter cope with everyday things.

Good Luck!

S.,
I have these issues as well. I am also a teacher and have had students with difficulties with sensitivities. I would highly recommend getting a consult with an occupational therapist. If you have a doctor who will give you a referral insurance will cover it. If not, it will be the best $100 you will spend for her so far in her lifetime. She CAN'T get over it. Honestly. Her nervous system is hyper-aroused and there are different ,very simple ways to help her skin become less sensitive. One example is a special brushing technique. It is easily put into your daily routine.Your husband may not have ever known anyone with this issue.Or Also, FYI, many kids, but not all, have at least one parent with these issues.
Good Luck an dlet me know if you need any additional info in this direction,
S.

Hi Steph.
It sounds like she may have the same condition that my friend's child has. It is an actual disorder and there are things that you can do for it. It is called a Sensory Integration Disorder. Talk to your Doc and get some info. There are even support groups for you so you don't feel like you're alone. It can be frustrating! good luck!

I think you should take her to the doctor. Seeking medical attention is not giving into her or coddling her. You are making sure there is not a medical problem. What if there is something that could help her? How much stress would that relieve for her, for your household? I don't think that after all these years and complaints that she is merely trying to get attention.

S.,
I too have very sensitive skin, I can feel a hair on me , it's really weird. I have changed almost all my clothing to cotton and buy panties that have the elastic incased in cotton .I have even made my own when I couldn't find them.Lace and fancy stuff on my clothes are nightmares. I can't even wear a bra.Socks are easy to find as long as the seam goes over the toes and not across the end of the toes.My underclothes are all white cotton.
Since you are a stay at home Mom why not make her clothes and let her pick out the material by touch.
For her hair get Johnsons no more tangles and use it gently starting at the ends and working your way up to the scalp.To make it less painful you could always keep her hair braided and rebraid it daily with minimal brushing.
I still think you ought to talk to a Dr. about it though. I don't get rashes or anything from clothes except wool.But if a seem bugs me or it is slightly too tight I have to take it off.
I hope this is not making going to school a problem ,as if your clothes don't feel right it is hard to concentrate.
Also I don't use perfumed laundry soaps and harsh cleaning products on my clothes.

S.,

A good friend of mine also has a child with the tendencies your daughter has. He hates socks, will not wear jeans, is very sensitive to things on his skin. She finally took him to the pediatrician and they recommended "brush therapy." They work with his pre-school teacher as well. I am not sure what the clinical name of the condition is. I would make the appointment. I think sometimes dads do not see what we see as moms. Not discounting your husbands opinion, but is he there all day with you?

Hope that helps
K. M

Hi- Hey, have you ever heard of Sensory Integration disorder? It is a very real issue. I had never heard of it before my son was diagnosed with autism, but there are a lot of typical kids who struggle with it. You need to get an Occupational therapy evaluation for your daughter, preferably with an Occupation therapist who specializes in sensory integration. There is also a book called :The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder, you can get it used on Amazon. Hope this helps.
A.

I am not a doctor, but this sounds like a sensory intergration problem. Some people are overly sensitive to sound (my son), some to smell and some to touch (tactile) like your daughter. I know that Occupational Therapy (OT) is prescribed for many children with these issues and most are quite succesful in helping deal with these issues. I would definitely talk with your pediatrician about a referral to an Occupational Therapist for an evaluation. After some time your daughter might not have such severe tactile issues. it is definitely treatable and well worth getting her help.
J.

Stephani,
I was like that as a child, and my son is too, sadly I have passed my awful allergies on to him! I would get really upset with my clothes especially underwear because of the rubber stretchy band on them, I was allergic to the latex and it made me itchy, the metal button on the top of pants would sit against my skin and make me itch as well. I would try using a hypoallergenic laundry detergent, with no softener added for her clothes, I use All free and clear, so shirts and pants to irritate her skin. Seams on clothes bother me so much, truly it isn't something you can ignore, it feels like razors cutting into your skin!! Try buying her clothes a size bigger, she may look a little baggy but should be a lot more comfortable! Only buy clothes that are really soft and pure cotton, that is all I can wear, anything else and I freak out!!

I believe what you're describing is a real medical condtion. I thought I had seen something on 20/20 or one of those shows. Why not ask the pediatrician? What can it hurt? Isn't it worth it not to have to deal with the crying (I'm sure on both your parts) and frustration. I have 8 year old twins, so my kids are close to your daughter's age. I know how mornings can be so to add this to the chaos isnt worth it.
I think just for peace of mind for both of you it's worth talking to the doctor. It sounds like this has been going on too long to be nothing. I'm sure your husband is just as upset as the two of you and he probably feels helpless. I'm not one to run the kids to the doctor for every ache and pain but again, this does sound like a medical condition.

I hope the best for you and your family and hope you find a solution for this problem!

T.

I would seek a physician's advice if I were you. I am a special education teacher and have dealt with some kids like your daughter. She may be average or above in intelligence, but she may have some sensory integration difficulties. I hope this helps some.

Take her to the doctor now! Or contact your public school for an evaluation. It's usually diagnosed through First Steps (0-3 year olds) or Early Childhood Development (3-5 years old). The doctor will probably give you the referral you need, but most of the time a referral isn't really needed. It sounds like she should've been evaluated and diagnosed when she was 2 or 3 when the symptoms first became really noticible. Everything you describe points to sensory integration issues. It's usually diagnosed when a child is a toddler or preschooler so they can have several years of therapy and professional help before entering public school. I know the touch therapy they have works very well for preschoolers but I don't know about older children.

This sounds like a medical condition that shouldn't be ignored! At least get an evaluation to rule it out. If it is sensory integration sensitivity then there are things you and her can do to help. The first step is being aware of the problem and getting an accurate diagsnosis, though.

Call the doctor!!!!!! She could have a special condition that needs attention from him.I have never heard of such a condition so please call the doctor. This could be a mental thing also. Good luck and God Bless.

Hi, S. --

I understand your and your husband's desire to not make an issue of this... but, if this has been going on for 5 years, it IS an issue. Not acknowledging it doesn't mean it's not there.

I believe your daughter's suffering is something legitimate and you certainly SHOULD tell your doctor about it. Think of how it must feel to be her and to be the one feeling this discomfort and crying all the time. That's terrible. My grandmother is very sensitive like that, too -- just as you described, except without the crying ;). She has a VERY limited wardrobe, and has always sought things without seams, very loose undergarments, etc. I always have sought products for her with no dyes or bleaches or unnecessary chemicals. She also has some extreme allergies, such as to mangoes and poison ivy and other things you might not expect.

I think you should consult with both a pediatrician AND an allergist and/or dermatologist. I think what will happen if you don't validate your daughter on this is that it may become a very negative aspect of her view of herself. I don't think she's playing it up for attention, if it started when she was 2. My daughter is a MAJOR drama queen, so I DO know how that story goes. But somewhere between that and a real condition is your daughter, in need of some alternate solutions. I see no harm in exploring what the real causes and solutions could be for such a super sensitivity. I know that some people have this kind of sensitivity regarding scents. We're all crazy, different pieces of God's creation.

I wish you the very best in finding a solution because I know it will help your daughter for the rest of her life, and it will certainly give you some serenity and peace. It sounds like you're having a time of it just hanging in there, and I APPLAUD you for your PATIENCE and perseverance. Believe me, I KNOW how hard that has to be on you.

Take care,
H.

Don't ignore the problem at all. I would suggest taking her to a dermatologist or else you will be dealing with this until she is old enough to be on her own. If she cries with everything you buy her because it hurts her that is something that needs to be dealt with. There is something going on with her and you need to find out what it is so you can figure out what to do. A dermatologist can help you with that. Good luck.
D.
I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 wonderful boys ages 10,7 and 4.

My daughter and I have sensitive skin. Several years ago we began making natural choices for our home cleaning products and personal care (lotions, shampoos etc.) and switched to Shaklee's all natural products. It has made a big difference to remove products with chemicals from our home. Because it helped us so much and I was so impressed with the Company, I began sharing the products with others. It is a simple change but I have seen it help many families. You can learn about Shaklee's Get Clean at www.greenmoms4kids.com or send me a message and I will send you additional resources.

Tammy Mutter

It sounds as though your daughter has some sensory defensiveness. This is a real problem, and though it is often associated with autism, MANY children who do not have autism have this issue. It can be associated with allergies or other conditions but it can also just be a sensory processing issue. If it is a sensory processing issue, your daughter's body interprets normal sensations as painful. This is not a behavior issue; it does not go away on its own. There are some good books available such as Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller or The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz. For this to be this much of a functional issue, I would strongly recommend an occupational therapy evaluation by a pediatric therapist who specializes in sensory integration. Your pediatrician may have to make this recommendation, depending on your insurance. You should also check at school to see if there are any problems with activities there. They may be able to evaluate her, but she will not qualify for services if there are not other conditions that would qualify her for speech or special ed. Often, these children who are bright will hold everything together until they get home, and then they can fall apart. I know it is difficult if your husband has a different point of view, but perhaps if he does a little reading on the subject, he will be more open to treatment. Please understand this is not for attention or behavioral reasons, she is suffering as much or more than you are. Hang in there!

K. (part-time occupational therapist and full time mother of 3)

I don't have any experience with this, but I definately think that you should talk to her doctor about this. There may be some sort of soap or lotion you could use to ease the sensitivity. It is worth a discussion if could help her!

S.,

There's a book that changed my life. My son deals with many of the same issues your daughter does. The condition he has is not medical, but very real. And the sensitiviy permeates not just his sense of touch and smell, but also his emotional reactions to his friends and family. The great challenge becomes how to parent a child with sensitivites we ourselves don't have. The title of the book is "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. Read a couple chapters and see if she describes your daughter. (I found myself crying when I first read my copy . . . for joy, that someone got it, and had answers!) What's amazing is that traditional parenting styles don't always work with a HSC (Highly Sensitive Child), but once you understand why, and what does work, there is so much more hope. Aron tackles some of the very questions you pose, such as how to respond to a child's frustration with a basic activity of daily living, such as putting on socks. I hope the book offers you the same hope and practical advice it did for me. --L. D.

S., I have been exactly where you are! My daughter is 10 and still won't wear jeans! There's only one type of socks that she will wear (seamless from Kohls). In the winter it's all sweatpants with drawstring waists because they have to fit 'just right' and boy style t-shirts. When she was in kindgergarten, she had a pair of black clogs that she insisted on wearing every day. I can literally remember sitting in a dressing room, after she tried on what seemed to be hundreds of items of clothing that 'didn't feel right' and CRYING. My daughter said at one point, "I hate myself!" Talk about feeling terrible, as a Mom! She then explained that she "wanted to wear nice clothes but COULDN'T". In tears!
I could go on and on with clothing stories, but what I have found is that this is way more common than you might think.
It's definitely a sensory disorder and is actually very common in gifted kids. This is in no way a mental disorder..even though it makes everyone in the house CRAZY!!!!! Only those who've been through this can joke about it!
If your pediatrician/doctor tells you it's 'just normal' maybe you should make a videotape of what it's like getting ready in the morning. Just kidding.
There's been good advice her about occupational therapy. Definitely look into it.
Just to give you hope..it will absolutely get better! My 10yr.old is getting better little by little! She wears gym shoes on occassion and she even picked out a tank top and actually WORE it the other day.
Hang in there! You are not alone!

I have a daughter that is nineteen now and i never thought i would be able to say that we both survived the same type of issues. I can honestly say that at times i thought i was going to lose it. She didn't have the sensitive skin thing going, but everything had to fit and feel perfect. I can't tell you how many pairs of socks i threw away because they "didn't feel right on her toes." The whole seam across the top of the toes was just about enough to put her over the edge. Hair had to be perfect, blankets straight in her bed when she went to sleep, and the millions of calls out at bedtime that something was hurting or she needed something. I finally got to the point on the clothes thing that all of our kids had to decide the night before what they were wearing the next day. I'm talking from top to bottom. We had 3 kids in 5 years. It was just too much of a hassle in the morning to go through the drama of "this doesn't feel good", or it would never fail they would pull something out of the back of a drawer that hadn't been worn in a year and it was so wrinkled that they looked like they had slept it if you didn't iron it or they would put it on and it would be too small and that would cause a disaster at the last minute. Our rule was--once you have picked out your clothes for the next day--you are done. If you change your mind the next morning and something isn't right for whatever reason, then you have to go to bed 15 minutes early that night. It normally took a couple times before they caught on that it was no fun to be in bed early when the other kids didn't have too before they figured out it wasn't worth the hassle. I made a point to let them know we had a schedule in the morning and it was disruptive to the entire household to behave and throw fits because of something silly. We chose to do the early bedtime, to make a point for that particular child and behavior. It didn't punish the rest of the house and could only improve our routine. I am proud to say that my daughter is now 19 y.o. and in college. Living on her own, making great grades, and actually wears clothes more than once because she doesn't want to have to do laundry as frequent. It's a phase and your children will get through it too but i know there are many days when you just have to walk away because enough is enough.

I think this problem is quite common, as I read about it recently in some publications (wish I could remember where). I, too, had this problem when I was younger and still have it to a lesser extent now. I can't stand the feeling of socks with seams and shoes feel like they are pinching my toes. I don't like wearing layers (t-shirt with longer sleeve shirt over). These things make me feel like I need to jump out of my skin! It is such a horrible feeling. I would check with the doctor to see if there is anything medically that could cause the problem, but otherwise I would say Please be sympathetic towards her. It probably feels really horrible to her and to make her wear something that feels so uncomfortable may hinder her in other areas.

Good luck :)

S.,
I wouldn't chalk this up to nothing.
I am not an expert on it, but my little cousin has what is called "sensory disorder" and what you described sounds alot like it. The certain feels of different clothing causes a huge melt down for him, along with other things as well.

You might do a google search on it and maybe possiably see a dr about it. Be sure to update us I'd be curious as to what's going on!

Wishing you all the best!

S.-Michigan

my daughter is 5 and has the same problem. I have talked to the doctor to find out she was allergic to the soap we were using and that helped to remove some of the problem. She still had problem with anything that is tight fitting. They rub and and hurt and we have to wear undershirts that we can tuck in so the waist band of jeans are not on her waist. We tried to ignore the issue and they never got better, but now that we have worked together and came up with things that have made it more comfortable to the crying is getting better.

tip for hair brushing, they have a spray detangler that awesome. Spray it on wait about 10 seconds and brush the brush slides through!

it so totally sounds like sensory processing disorder. My son would obsessively take his socks on and off until they felt just right, we'd cut out all the tags, everything had to be supersoft. He is almost 9 and we were unable to use shampoo regularly until he was well into therapy. He would scream as if his scalp was being burned by acid, and his therapist said that's exactly what it felt like to him. Have your doctor refer you to a qualified Occupational Therapist. Good luck!

I'm not to sure what to say about the skin, try some none sented lotion before dressing.
About the hair, I have had long hair since I was five and I'm almost 28 now. My mom use to braid my hair and it helped. Good luck.
L.

Dear S.,

You may want to consult a physician about this. I used to clean for a very nice lady who had two nice boys. The oldest was very active, thin, busy and smart, I'm talking genius level. The other kept to himself, didn't really play with others, also on the genius level, but at 9 years old still cried about every little, bump, stitch, tag, fold, itchy sweater, too tight shirt, doesn't fit right coat. Granted these boys have been through a lot and they have been diagnosed with A.D.D., the second boy was also diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Don't panic, just talk to your doctor. Honestly it is not a normal thing for any child at any age to be that demanding in how a sock feels. The doctors can help without medication. If your husband does not back you up in talking to a doctor, even after someone else agrees that you should, you need to take her anyway-it's the only way to get help. Believe me, after watching the lady deal with her sons for 7 years, I would get her help. It'll be ok and with this site you'll have LOTS of support. Good luck! :)

I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!
My daughter was this way & I spent days crying with her if I wasn't screaming. It's actually pitful at points where I could see her trying to put the clothes, socks, or shoes on.
My 1st suggestion is to ask your Dr about Sensory Integration.
It's not a big deal but it will help you with a mindset. My daughter was diagnosed with this. Once we found out it was better to deal with because I knew it wasn't her just trowing fits. I do have to take her to try on the clothes because when I buy them they just don't feel good. Tight fitting clothes feel better on her & she can't handle tags.
Socks I have to buy at Stride Rite. They have NO LINE socks.
This has been GOD SENT!! Don't try to buy them big to last long because if she is like Kassidy smaller, tighter is better. You will find the same with shoes. You can't buy them big like your other children could handle.
I would love to stay in touch & help you. Kassidy is in fact intelligent as well. It is a spectrum of Autism but remember whatever the Dr would share would just help you & they can tell you how to work better with her to avoid all the frustration. There is a check list of things to go over for Sensory to see if you think she has it. Brushing her skin will help and rubbing her body feels good. As far as hair, Kassidy can finally do her own at 6 years old but this has been a fight & looking like a rag a muffin has been normal for her hairdo because I don't want the fight, tears, and sadness coming from her.
I will keep you & her in our prayers today!
Feel free to contact me if you need any more help.

She sounds exactly like my 6 year old daughter who suffers from SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). Even high functioning children can have it, although it's often associated with Autism & ADHD. My daughter has neither one of those issues & is normal in all other matters.

Abby suffers from tactile hypersensitivty. Our mornings were horrible battles. She hated all clothes. They itched or were too hot or the seams bothered her. I thought she was just picky & strong willed. When I found out about SPD I was so relieved. She's not making this up...to her clothing feels as though it had been made out of fiberglass. She really is in misery.

You REALLY need to look into this. SPD is best treated by an Occupational Therapist. Abby's been in therapy for abut 2 months & she's SO much better. Clothing is almost a non-issue now. She happy...I'm thrilled!

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/index.html

This is a good place to start. If you have any questions, please feel free to send me a message. This has truly changed our lives!

Have you thought that she could have some sensory issues? There are children who are on the autistic spectrum that deal with sensory issues on a daily basis. My six year old son is one of those.

We noticed that at around 2-3 he wouldnt walk in the grass without shoes as he didnt like the feel. I had to cut tags out of all his clothes, etc. You don't have to break the bank to find clothing that works. There are several stores that now don't put tags in clothes and do soft clothing w/out heavy seams, etc. Also look on ebay. I have recently bought a LOT of clothes w/out seams, and tags for him.

Incidentally he is of above average intelligence as well. It is really tough some times when you have a very intelligent child that you can't move past this issue. You some times feel like he/she should just get it BUT there is a sensory issue there and they truly can't. There are many HIGH functioning children on the Austism spectrum with this issue.

We had our child diagnosed at around age 4. He is doing well now that we know what the issue is and how to deal/cope with it.

You may want to look up some information on "sensory integration disorder" and talk to your doctor.

Hope this helps.

Hi S.,

Oh my goodness do I know what you're going through?!?!? My daughter just turned 8 last month, and we've struggled with this since she was about 4 or 5. The exact same things you've described. She did have exczema when she was a baby, so that concerned me that that could be the problem. She has mostly grown out of that though. However, we still continue to put lotion on her every day, and only wash her body with fragrance free sensitive skin Dove soap.. This does help, but she still struggles every day when I dress her. She hates to wear jeans, hates socks and shoes because of the seam, I have to cut all of the tags off of her clothes so that doesn't bother her, and she will only wear one certain kind of panites. I don't mind the panties, I do buy that kind for her.. after all, I can get them from wal mart, and they are not to expensive. I try to cater to her needs.. so when she's at home playing, I let her wear whatever she would like, however, when we have somewhere to go, I do make her wear what she needs to wear. I think you should probably be sensitive to her needs to an extent, by letting her wear what she would like at certain times, but tell her at the other times that it's mommy's turn to pick out your outfit, and try to make her get used to wearing these clothes little by little. I know with the crying fits, it's easier said than done, but I've definitely started to notice a difference in my daughter.. Good luck with this.. I know what you're going through!

Hi S.,
I read through the other 55 replies before posting my reply. I am a pediactric Occupational Therapist and your daughter has classic symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder (AKA Sensory Integration Dysfunction). Basically her sensory nervous system is immature and by you learning about an appropriate "sensory diet" and implementing the recommended activities, this will allow her system to develop and tolerate sensations that feel abrasive, threatening and uncomfortable to her at this point. Many children with the defensive reactions are very rigid about what kind of clothes are tolerable (hopefully you & your husband can relate to uncomfortable shoes or some other clothing and understand her body is more sensitive than what is typical but this is a very real feeling). I agree you should make her comfortable with clothing that is less irritating (it seems like these kids prefer fleece or sweat outfits/pull-up pants rather than more fitted zipper pants). Please get a prescription from your pediatrician and see an OT ASAP! Note: you don't have to have a prescription to see an OT, but you will probably need one for insurance coverage. I have eczema myself and feel if the skin itself were irritated it would have been observable over the 5 year period you described (red, cracked, irritated looking).
Good-Luck, feel free to contact me if you need more information.
D. W.

I think a trip to the doctor wouldn't be bad. I know you don't want to think that it's something serious, but if it does turn out to be, ignoring it won't make it go away.
As far as clothes go have you tried clothes made mostly of lycra or spandex?

S.,
Have you mentioned these things to her pediatrician?? Sounds like she has a sensory disorder. I'd check there first before anymore fighting, battles or financial ruin takes place, you all could benefit that way, I'm sure.
Good Luck!
Keep us posted!!
R.

I have raised 4 daughters.
It is time for your daughter to brush and comb her own hair.
Get it cut short so she can do it.
It is absolutely foolish to put yourself and her through this every day.
Why in the world are you torturing yourselves?
I had this issue with my 5 year-old granddaughter when she lived with us for a time, and she loved being able to brush her own hair before school!
In my experience as a mother and a teacher, it is usually parents who foster the long hair on their girls, and ignore the practicality of it all.....what is the point of that?
As to the other issues, I am with your husband....by catering to all of her "discomforts" you are fostering lifetime obsessions in my opinion.
Use some common sense here.....don't nurture idiosyncrasies.

S.,

I haven't had this situation before, but I think a dermatologist is in order for your daughter. Something is going on with her. 7 year olds don't cry over clothes! I think making her get her hair cut might help, but it doesn't have to go really short, shoulder length can be good. Also, finding a good detangler or conditioner and combing it through in the tub might help some too.

I feel children need to be give opportunities to take some control with their lives, but we, as parents, need to put them into the right situations in order for them to be able to make good choices. What does she say? Her clothes hurt her or they bother her, is she too sensitive to the detergent or fabric softener you're using? What about lotions? Does she have any rash? Maybe you could speak with someone regarding "Sensory integration" for her. Riley has people that are specialists with this area. (We all have "sensory issues" but some people don't know how to handle them in their world and it messes up their whole body. Often, for example, as adults when we're sitting for too long we will wiggle a foot, or move our bodies in "socially acceptable ways" but for others, they just don't know how to make it work. I feel better in clothes that are a bit more tighter fitting (versus really loose clothes) like a turtleneck, because it helps me feel "put together" and being barefoot or in sandels makes me feel "grounded." Maybe your daughter just needs some tools to help her deal with her environment. Maybe there's a neurological issue going on that no one's caught yet.

I'd look into it and discuss it with my pediatrician and maybe some other specialists.

Good luck and use the people around you. I too agree that God gave us people to help solve situations!

D.

i am a physical therapist, and it sounds to me like your daughter has sensory integration problems. she is not just being difficult, she truly is experiencing pain and discomfort with the things that you mentioned. it seems like you are on the right track trying to find socks without seams, shirts without tags, etc (try turning her socks inside out), but she needs a referral to an occupational therapist. they can give you ideas to make things easier for her, as well has provide treatment for desensitizing her. (stroking her skin daily with a particular brush, etc). this is not something that she should have to struggle with so please keep counting, maintain your patience, and talk to her doctor about seeing an OT. good luck!

This sounds like she has a pretty severe reaction to having her hair brushed and clothes touching her skin. I would certainly have her checked by a doctor just to be sure there is not an underlying cause. However, I at the same time, most doctors will just say she is overreacting. If she were my daughter who was having a symptom as severe as this, I would take to her to a hemeopathic doctor. Homeopathy often uses unusual symptoms such as this to pinpoint a remedy that will be helpful. The remedys are natural and gentle. The theory behind homeopathy is to use natural based remedys to improve the immune system. When the immune system is functioning at its best, the symptoms will disappear. The basis behind homeopathy is that the body has the God given ability to heal itself; we work at improving the immune system so the body can do this. In Cuyahoga Falls, there is the Center for Homeopathy if you are interested. I use homeopathy on my family and it does a wonderful job, especially when you have odd symptoms that frequently get overlooked because no one knows what to do about them. Good luck.

Have you had her annointed and prayed over? fasted for her? Praying that God will direct your path in this battle...He has all the answers and wisdom on what to do.:)

I would definitely discuss the skin problem with your physician! And talk to a family counselor (even one who is just a friend) about her emotional sensetivity! There is nothing wrong with using your resources. Infact maybe you could contact your doctor about it in advance of an appointment removing the 'stigma' of the visit with her.

As far as her emotions go I was horribly sensitive and so is my daughter. I always thought mine was due to my family history, that just made me extremely shy and frightened. Of course now I not only know better, I also know I turned out just fone and am not really shy at all!
We try to push our daughter, but we also really work to prepare her for each and every situation. We also reward her for trying her best! So maybe with brushing her hair you let her do it, then help. And tell her that if she wants long hair she will have knots you must remove, or she has to waer it in braids. Give her options, but stick firm. She has to develop coping skills for the future, but not at the cost of losing who she is.
I commend you highly for you care of her spirit! AND you ability to work at not losing your temper and control when she cries.
There is a wonderful book called "Undertanding Your Child's Temperment". I love this book. It does not simply give you a few personalities, but has you journal your childs behavior and reactions to various situations and the assists you in understand who the child is and how best to deal with her. It is in the library!
Best of luck!
and many many hugs!
B.

S.: Well, I have the same issues in my 6 children. Some of them have emotional sensitivity and others have skin sensitivities and we're on strickly naturapathic products because anything that you put onto your skin gets into your body within 26 seconds. There are so many diseases stemming from this issue, people don't realize this. Anyway, I have some spectacular children too - this is what I'm leading to....you don't want to back down to this sensitivity, but you don't want to be abrasive about it either. People have so many issue, but doesn't it boil down to 1 thing.....attitude?! It's primarily attitude and you need to know that you don't tolerate this yelling. Either separate yourself from her or do something that she doesn't like to let her know. I have been using natural soaps for so long because I break out with chemical and there's even a great laundry ball that's effective. This stuffs great. I don't sell it, but can refer you the information if you're interested.

Have a wonderful day,

M. G.

Hi S., I don't have as many issues with the sensitivity to all clothing but socks are a HUGE ordeal with my son and a little with my oldest daughter. I watched the clock one day as I tried to get his socks and shoes on for kindergarten and it took us 16 minutes as I had to take his shoes off and rearrange his socks that many times. I saw in your e-mail you said you try to buy seamless socks. Where do you find them? I have bought comfort seam socks from Stride Rite but haven't located any seamless socks in stores yet. I haven't tried the internet so maybe that is where you have found them. Thanks and goodluck!

You should definitely talk to your doctor about this. You can't ignore a problem and expect it to get better. That's just silly.

Mother's intuition tells you the little one needs some help. Perhaps it's an allergy, skin condition, or neurological. Who knows? You really need to seek the advice of a pediatrician. The other option is talking to a dermatologist since they specialize in skin issues.

S.,

Many people on the autistic spectrim will have average to above average IQ and have friends, and most will also have sensory processing issues. Dyslexia and ADHD are frequently comorbid with sensory processing issues like these. Some children will have sensory processing issues alone (but very few will only have one issue, comorbidity rates run 70%.)

This is a red flag, and it is flying very high on the pole! Even if this is her only issue, it effects how she perceives the world, and how she takes in all of information about the world around her. Every educational experience she has is percieved through distorted sensory processing, and you should find out how deep her issues are while the therapy for these issues is sucessful. Unfortuantly, comorbidty rates for psycholgical disorders is also very high, but if she recives compasionate, understanding, care and all the therapy she needs for this, you can lower her risk.

You have several choices to get to the bottom of this, you can try an occupational therapist, or you could try a developmental pediatrician.

If you are sure that she has no other comorbid issue (and there is so much, much, more to developmental disablities than you list) then make an appointment with an Occupational Therapist who is familiar with Sensory Intergration Disorder and Sensroy Processing issues.

If, on the other hand, you have made assumptions about autistic spectrim disorders that did not include research about high functioning developmental delays including all the types of Autistic spectim disorders, ADHD, and dyslexia or dyspraxia, then make an appointment with a developmental pediatricain and let him sort out all her issues. You may be very surprised, and if you have over looked something your duaghter has no time to waste.

Odd speech patterns, handwriting issues (reversals, holding the pencil too tight, odd pencil grasp) intense interest in subjects or attachments to objects, speaking like a "little professor" toe walking, leaning excessivly (fatigue when standing) odd eye contact, difficulty with frustration, failure to understand anothers point of view, inattentiveness, difficlutly with multi-step instructions, difficulty sequencing common routines (ie, putting on the back pack before eating breakfast)...these are all expamples of things that could be related issues, and would be teased out by a developmental pediatrican.

Developmental pediatricans can and will refer you to any and all the necessary profesionals that your daugther may need to make her feel less miserable, and she is miserable.

It will not just go away. Make an appointment today.

M.

please don't make her "deal with it"--she is not being senstive to annoy you or her father, she probably does not like being sensitive. I know-- I am sensitive, and my second daughter was just like me. I worked hard at finding soft, stretchy cotton clothes for her and the most comfy shoes we could find, the simpler the better. If nothing else-find cotton chinese slippers(they are very cheap), my DD would wear those when she would not wear anything else. The less decorative stuff the better and cut out all tags. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive--it is NOT a disorder or illness. In fact I often wonder if there is something wrong with people who can wear scratchy clothes, tags, and smelly fake perfume, etc. Use detergent and body care products without dyes or scents as they could be causing her to be hyper-sensitive. And absolutely NO fabric softeners--use plain old vinegar in the final rinse to cut all soap residue--those fabric softeners on clothes make my skin crawl worse than anything! You may have to be firm on some things though--if she is too sensitive to deal with her hair care she may have to get it cut.I also remember being very frustrated with DD when she threw a fit because I did not tie her shoes exactly the same on both feet and I finally told her she needed to learn to tie her own shoes so she could get them the way she wanted--and she did at a very young age, I think she was around 4, she was determined and did it(though soon after found the Chinese slippers). She is now a delightful, intelligent, caring young woman who is not only very senstive physically but in every way--she works with kids at a day care and she is their favorite caregiver, she is trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life--just graduated college. It does get better! She does give in and wear clothes/shoes for fashion when she goes out--but as soon as she gets home its off with that yucky stuff and on with the comfy clothes!

I would consult a physician. There is no need for her to suffer when she may have a sensory disorder. There are therapies to help with things like this. My sisters daughter had problem with some of her clothes like underwear. She bought her underwear with boy legs. Like a boxer brief. I don't know if they make them for girls but you could always buy the boys. Have you sat down and asked her what it is that bothers her about certain clothes? As for the hair my sister in law cut her daughters hair and she grew out of it and now has her hair long. She is now 10. If just ignoring her isn't helping try a doctor, Occupational therapist, or behavior therapist.

Sounds like she may have a sensory disorder. I'd see if you could have her evaluated. This is a real thing where different textures & sometimes human touch bothers them. Their brains process the info differently than "normal".

We went through a similar situation with our son. He was also dleayed in speaking though. We contacted First Steps which helps youngsters up to age 3 then he was released to the board of education for help. He was very sensitive to touch, seams, socks, long sleeve shirts, tags, shoes, toes touching in his shoes(wanted them all to be nontouching), waist in pants, and the list could go on and on. He also had texture sensitivity with foods. I was at my wits end. For us therapy was the answer. He is now almost 8 and just as normal as can be!! It was a long road of counseling and exercises but it paid off. He occassionally will revert back to things that irritate him but we are able to get passed them fairly quickly. Maybe check with your school counselor and see if there is testing or help in your area for these issues. We were able to receive help on a sliding scale and only paid $40 a month total for speech therapy and occupational therapy(to help with the sensory issues). It is possible that some people's senses are out of whack! With some conditioning it could possibly be corrected. For example our son had this soft tickly brush that we would brush his arms, legs, back, ect every day for a certain period of time. It was very relaxing and helped to calm him and condition his touch senses. I wish I was a licensed therapists and could recommend more.

We were told that a good example is the tag in our clothing it can be irritating but as adults we have learned coping mechanisms to block out the irritation so we can go about our day and function noramlly but some children have not yet developed these coping mechanisms for things that irritate them. The therapist told us if he would not wear long sleeves do not worry send him in short sleeves with a jacket. If he gets cold he will wear the jacket she would say. He went through a phase where he only wanted to wear pjs because they were so comfy. She recommened we send him to preschool in his pjs(not so easy to do for you since your child is older and in big school though). Mostly she said if it is something that is causing the child extreme anxiety then alter their clothing to take away the anxiety but keep the option open of the clothing "norm". Offer the irritating socks and the preferred socks each time. Hope this makes sense.

Good luck! My heart goes out to you. Hang in there!

Hi S., My daughter would drive me crazy with the sock seams and constantly fixing them before we could get out the door. We were late a lot. I told her that sometimes if you ignore it your body will get used to feeling it there and then you won't even notice it. We have no problems anymore. Your daughters situation may be more severe, but thought this might help. God Bless! N. L.

Hi S.,
Since this has been an issue for the last few years and not just the last few months, I would suggest going to your daughter's doctor to see if she does have any physcial reasons why she seems to be in pain. There are real conditions out there like CRPS or sometimes called RSDS that may explain why she acts the way that she does. She may also be hyper-sensitive to certain types of fabrics,soaps, laundry detergent etc that could be making her miserable. I don't think you would be wasting your time if you took her to the doctor. Good luck!

i feel really bad for your situation. i grew up almost the same way as your daughter, i ask my mom frequently how she kept from going insane. my skin problems now aren't as bad as they were when i was younger. my mom used olive oil in my hair to help brush it out(i'm still extremely tender headed), after she washed my hair with regualr shampoo, she would take about 1/2 a palm full of olive oil and massage it througout my hair then let it sit for 15-20 min. then rinse it out with warm water(do not use shampoo afterward). she did that 2-3 times a week depending upon what season it was. i use st. ives oatmeal & shea butter body soap & afterwards i use oil of olay quench for sensitive skin. for laundry i used ALL FREE & CLEAR, it doens't have any perfumes or dyes and that has helped quite a bit, whenever i get an itch that feels like it's going to drive me nuts i use EUCERIN CALMING CREAM & that stops it very quickly. my husband didn't understand how bad i itched and things bothered my skin until he got poison ivy, then the jokes stopped real fast. my son is almost 6 & thank god he only has a small portion of the skin problems i had when i was his age. he has eczema from head to toe, but with the shampoo his dr. prescribed us & the oatmeal baths i give him his is easily managed. i really hope you find if not a cure then a bareable solution for your daughter, hope this helps in any way possible. good luck & god bless.

It sounds to me like she is tactilly defensive and needs a good occupational therapist (OT) who could do some sensory integration with her (and you) to decrease her defensiveness.

you and your husband need to understand this is not her fault about being skin sensitive as you call it. I guarantee it is a sensorty integration issue, and there is physical therapy/occupational therapy that CAN take care of the problem. Again, it is not her choice for this condition.