Extending Nursing and Weaning

I second Laura's opinion - it sounds like you're not quite ready and although it seems like it's been a long time that you've been nursing (well done on that!), when you look back a few years down the road, you'll see that it was indeed such a short, short time. I nursed my oldest (now almost 14) until he was just over 2 and he weaned on his own as my milk went away when I was pregnant with his younger brother. His younger brother nursed until he was over 3. As time goes by, the nursings will become more and more infrequent. For my boys, it was really an incredible source of comfort whenever they suffered a trauma (i.e, falling down, bumping their head, sticking their hand in a cactus, and all the other things boys will do).

In hindsight, those years are so very precious to me and I truly cherish every minute that I spent nursing them. My kids overall were incredibly healthy, even though I've worked since they were 4 and 6 mos old and they were in daycare (their healthiness actually influenced some of the teachers at the daycare to nurse their own babies).

Your husband may be feeling neglected (naturally - not uncommon after a baby arrives), so perhaps making an effort to spend some time together without the baby over the next few months will send the message to him that you can still be a wife at the same time you're a nursing mother.

Also, as far as getting back into shape, you can certainly exercise while nursing and eating healthily is obviously good for you both. And, I think some basic multi-vitamins are healthy for you both - you just don't need any megadoses.
I did notice, though, that I could not lose that last bit of weight until I stopped nursing. I was working out regularly and I really think mother nature wants our bodies to hold onto a certain amount of fat while breastfeeding to ensure that our baby's get the healthiest milk. And, I did finally lose those extra 10 lbs - just be patient - that's been one of the hardest learned lessons for me as a mother.

I think you've gotten some excellent advice. Definately check out LLL since they have TONS of information that will help you. I think if you are having any doubts about weaning, it's not the time -- especially if your child is handling it so well. As far as weight loss goes, I'm not exactly sure what kind of supplements you're talking about. You really can't beat breastfeeding for weight loss though. It boosts your metabolism. Also, if you don't have insurance, than consider breastfeeding a type of insurance for you and your baby while you wait. Breastmilk's benefits during cold and flu season are many.

Here are some links I've gotten on another board that may be of interest to you and your husband.

Nursing a Toddler http://www.geocities.com/mother2motherservices/toddler1.html

Toddler nursing: What to expect
http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/toddlernursing.html

Extended Breastfeeding Fact Sheet
http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

Nursing After the First Year Index
http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/index.html

How long should a mother breastfeed?
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/bflength.html

What are the benefits of breastfeeding my toddler?
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/advantagetoddler.html

Not Just for Babies: 10 Good Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/...

Breastfeed a Toddler: Why on Earth?
by Dr. Jack Newman
http://kellymom.com/newman/21bf_toddler.html

Extended Breastfeeding Myths
http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-myths.html

Extended Breastfeeding Links -- Why EBF?
(more great links)
http://kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-links.html#why

Extended & Toddler Breastfeeding -- more links
http://www.geocities.com/breastfeedinglinks/

Professional Organization Position Statements
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/prepare/bf-benefits.html...

*The WHO, AFP, Unicef, & Health Canada all recommend BF for a minimum of 2 years.
*The AAP recently revised its statement to include "There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBJanFeb04p4.html

Handling criticism about breastfeeding
http://kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html

Explaining the mysteries of breastmilk

http://www.asklenore.info/breastfeeding/additional_readin...

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0838/is_2002_N...

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/breastfeeding/...

Hi J.,
L., the lactation consultant here.

Welcome to Texas! What a wonderful job you have done nursing your son! It is an enjoyable time, isn't it?

October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Women who breastfeed a lifetime total of 2 years have a 40% reduced risk of breast cancer; the risk to those who nurse a lifetime total of 6 years is reduced by 66%. Breastfeeding also reduces the risk of ovarian cancer and minimizes the severity of osteoporosis later in life.

Since flu season begins soon, many mothers with nursing toddlers continue breastfeeding once or twice a day to provide the immune defenses of mother's milk.

Throughout nursing, immunoglobulins are produced that protect the child from infection. Some of these compounds increase as nursing is prolonged. Long-term nursing continues to protect the child by passing on antibodies the mother produces in response to daily exposure to pathogens. Many older babies avoid the family illnesses and get sick much less frequently and far less seriously than their non-breastfed counterparts. Generally, the longer the duration of nursing, the longer the period of immunity. Many of breastfeeding's benefits provide a lifetime of reduced risk.

Toddlers also receive a significant amount of nutrition from their mother's milk. According to AAP, WHO and other sources, breastmilk can provide up to 31% of a toddler's caloric needs and 38% of all dietary protein through the end of the second year of life.
Through 18 months, breastmilk supplies:
95% of vitamin C
100% of vitamin A
44% of calcium
41% of niacin
26% of folic acid
21% of riboflavin
As much as 50% iron
Toddlers do especially well when foods supplement rather than replace breastmilk. Weaned toddlers may exhibit energy deficits as high as 28% despite a 60% increase in their intake of other foods. Typically, toddlers are picky eaters, and tend not to choose those foods that supply them high quality nutrition. Prolonged nursing can fill in the gaps.

There's a good book you might want to read, "How weaning happens". It addresses many of your concerns and is fun and easy to read. It's available through Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, etc.

When you're ready for referrals to pediatricians or OBs in the area, please feel free to contact me off list. I'll be happy to give you names and contact information. If you need a pediatrician for your son in the meantime, the Network of Community Ministries in Richardson provides a free clinic for families with financial need. Similarly, WIC programs are available throughout the Metroplex. Just google WIC or Network of Community Ministries - Richardson for additional information
Happy Mothering!

Since both you and your son are still enjoying nursing, why wean now? You have the rest of your life to diet, but only this short time to have this special bond with your son. Maybe your husband would be more supportive if you shared with him some of the many health benefits of "extended" breastfeeding for both you and your son. (For instance, the longer your breastfeed, the lower your chance of ever developing certain cancers such as breast cancer or ovarian cancer, and the longer your son nurses, the better he is protected not only from illnesses such as colds and diarrhea but also later on from problems such as obesity, diabetes, and high blood pressure.)

I have to tell you that I was in your same position just a year and half ago. And, my husband, his family and my family were all providing gentle nudges or hints that I should wean my daughter. I ended up breastfeeding her until she was 28 months old. At that time she was only breastfeeding once or twice a day, but I had to have surgery and my recovery time was about a week. I was going to be on some medication for that time period and knew I wouldn't be able to breastfeed while on it. Thankfully, the weaning transition was fairly subtle and natural, as she had already slowed down on her own. There were a few times in the weeks thereafter that she would want to be cuddled and breastfed, but I just showed her how we could cuddle and "love on" each other without breastfeeding.

This all comes from a woman that never even thought I'd breastfeed at all, much less for 28 months. I suggest that you breastfeed as long as you and your son both desire it.

Your sweet angel wants not just the naturally sweet breast milk he's been getting, but he wants the warmth and heavenly time he spends at the breast. Every month that he continues to receive not only the unmatched nutrition of the breast milk but also the unmatched nurturing of the breastfeeding time, he will develop in ways that are priceless. As you probably know, breast milk has over 100 unique ingredients that cannot be duplicated in formula. And, being fed at the breast cannot be duplicated by anybody. The love, security and comfort that a baby feels at their mother's breast will make for a strong, secure and independent child and adult in the future. So, my advice is to breastfeed her as long as possible. You won't ever regret it and you'll be giving your son the greatest gift of all.

I also agree with the other posts noting that La Leche is a great source to tap into as well as the insurance source for kids through the state of Texas.

I pray that you will feel at peace with your decision and that your husband will support you. I know how emotional it is in your position. Take care. Many Blessings - L.

P.S. Please feel free to write me if you have other questions or need some emotional support. ____@____.com

Hi J.
Your request could have been written by me a few years ago. I was having the same problem but my son had just turned two, and my very supportive husband finally said enough is enough. It was very heartbreaking for me. Like you, I was only having the one(by choice) and he was very attached to me, and honestly I wasn't sure I could get him to sleep any other way.I was also afraid of hurting his feelings or something like that, I didn't want to make him feel rejected.
So, here is what I tried... I told him one day after he woke up from nap and wanted to nurse that his nee-nee was all gone. Well I could not believe it but that was okay with him. He didn't get upset or anything. It actually kind of hurt MY feelings. So that's what worked for me. I just suddenly said it was all gone.
Now there were maybe 2 or 3 "fits" after that over the next couple of days. It was hard, but once I started I couldn't turn back. He really did great with it and so did I.
I don't know about you, but I always nursed him to sleep, and that was the hardest part for me. I just didn't know how to put him to sleep without nursing, so I found a book called "good night, sleep tight" and I used that program. It is a lot like what Supernanny does for kids at night. That worked too.
I really know that this hard for you, the mommy. You can do it.

All the advice is great, and keep on nursing if you and he are comfortable with it. Texas has a health insurance program for children, above all else you should at least make sure your child is taken care of for healthcare needs. It is called CHIP or do Medicaid www.tdh.state.tx.us/medicaid

Congratulations on making it this long on nursing! The World Health Organization says to nurse for a minimum of 2 years so you guys are right on track!!
Contact a local La Leche League group leader for great advice on weaning. You can go to their website at www.lalacheleague.org and then click on USA, then Texas, then DFW, and then you should see your individual city. There will be a list of meeting times (all free) and the phone numbers for the group leaders. They'll be able to provide you with good information (also free!)
My opinion is that if you're torn about it and your son is still enjoying it so much, then it's not time. Just because your husband is ready for you to stop doesn't mean anything. You are doing what is best for your child and that should matter most to your husband.
It's not just about bonding (although yes, that is very important) it's about keeping your son healthy: reducing his chances of juvenile diabetes, cancer, obesity, behavioral disorders, ear infections, cold, the flu, anemia, diaper rash, acid reflux, eczma, etc. etc. Nursing is also good for YOU. The longer you nurse, the lower your chance of getting uterine cancer or breast cancer. Their is a ratio for that but I can't remember what it is right now. Explain to your husband that nursing is good for you AND your son and I'm sure he'll see the light and want what is best for both of you guys.
The nursing relationship is such a special bond between you and your son. Once nursing is over, you can't go back again. You can always put off the weaning but once you do, it's done.
Good luck and happy nursing!!

J.,
I nursed both of my boys well over 18 months and they are both great 6 and 8 year old boys now! My oldest son weaned later, (during my pregnancy with his brother), and we both enjoyed the experience. I nursed him exclusively (not even adding rice cereal to his diet) for the first eight months, and the only negative we ever experienced was not getting him to partake in eating baby food until almost the end of his first year. So, I simply started adding cereal, and baby food to my second son's diet earlier, which eliminated that problem. I loved the bonding that came from nursing my boys, and so did they. It is the healthiest and most unselfish act a mother can do for her child. I do understand your concerns though, as your husband feels you should stop at this age. Maybe reminding him of the health benefits for you and your son will help. Also, remember that most parents our age, had parents who were part of the "Bottle Feeding Boom". Most of our parents didn't nurse as part of that new "revolution", which can contribute to your husband, friends, or family viewing extended breastfeeding as abnormal. Talk with your husband more, grab some support from fellow nursing moms, and enjoy the time you have with your baby...it goes so fast!!
God Bless!