Explaining the Lose of Our Family Dog to 2 Year Old.

I explained the death of our 16-year-old dog last summer to my grandchildren that God needed him and so He took him to heaven to be with Him and help Him. It seemed to be the best solution and it really did help.

I'm so sorry. Our dog also had cancer and eventually we had to put her down, right before my son turned 2. It is very sad. My son had no idea what was going on, but when we came home one day, and the dog wasn't here anymore [we put her down earlier in the day], he definitely noticed. My son looked all over the house for her. He was the one who always gave her a treat when she came inside, so he kept looking in the drawer for the treats over and over. He couldn't say "puppy" at that time, so he would just make this terrible anxious whine. He kept checking to see if she was in the kitchen or outside for about a week. I was in tears a few times because it was just heartbreaking to see him looking for her and not finding her. I just told him "honey, puppy went bye-bye" because that's all I thought he could understand. He stopped looking after a week or so, and now, a few months later, I'm sure he has no memory of the dog. If it had happened right now at 27 months I know it would be a lot harder since he is talking now and has a much better memory. Your son will be sad and probably wont understand, but just tell him something like "He went to a place where he can play with other dogs every day". Your son surely wont understand death yet, so I would just make it sound like the dog left and is having a good life somewhere out there. Eventually your son will forget, too. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it. It might help to get some kids books on losing a pet too. Hang in there

Today, in Milwaukee, WI (you will have to check your city), PBS Sesame Street at 7pm, has a special on family and grieving. You might want to see if you can watch it or "tape" it. It is Katie Couric and Sesame Street muppets talking about children with a family death and coping skills for them to utilize.

This post made me teary. I am so sad for you. Check out your local bookstore and ask one of the employees to see if there's a book on the topic, I would bet there has to be at least one. Maybe that would help?? Good luck, it won't be easy.

J.-

We have a dog creeping up in age, got a call from my in-laws last night that their dog has advanced cancer with weeks/months to live.

But, I wanted to share my personal story of getting diagnosed with cancer the day before my son's second birthday.
He had to watch me go to chemo, get treatments, lose my hair, be too sick to play with him and his infant sister, sleep all weekend for 5 months, not be able to share foods/drinks with him because I could get a life-threatening infection.

We were honest from day 1, and I think that's the best approach. The fact that your son and Goldberg are best buds will make things harder. If it were my child, I'd explain that Goldberg is sick, and that one day, he won't be around to play anymore. I'd explain that he needs to spend as much time as possible with him (get lots of pictures/video) because there will be a day that he's gone and won't be around to play anymore.

And, as good of a dog as Goldberg is now, I'd be really attentive to when the cancer begins to take its toll - especially if his behavior begins to change to protect your son. Animals have a 6th sense, and as a pack animal, I'm sure the last thing Goldberg wants is to stress you in any way possible.

Let him grieve however he needs when the time comes, and let him see you grieve as well so he knows it's OK to cry.

Children are remarkably resilient and understand much more at that age than we think they do. My kids were an amazing source of strength for me during my ordeal - they comforted me in ways I never could have comforted them.

I hope your time with Goldberg is long and full of amazing memories.

I'm sorry to hear about your bad news.

As much as possible, be honest with your son. He probably understands a lot more than he's able to communicate. You can explain that your dog is sick/has a boo-boo and he will only be able to stay with you a while longer. Talk about this, but don't overdo it. Mention it now, and then maybe again in a week or two.

My son was not quite 2.5 when our cat died, and he seemed to grasp the concept well. He was also really curious about it. He could see that the cat didn't look as healthy and didn't have energy. (if you can take pictures and then compare, that can help - you don't always notice the decline day to day) We talked a little bit about "batteries running out" and that our cat would stop moving and breathing and wouldn't start again.

Some great advice I was given regarding the end: if you choose euthanasia and Goldberg is feeling well enough, spoil him with a great last meal - a steak, pizza, whatever. It will be sad but also a celebration of his wonderful life.

Oh J., I am so very sorry. We have a house full of animals ourselves and we have been through the loss of them over the years and I know exactly how painful this is for you.
I don't know how much a 2 year old is going to be capable of understanding. I think I would let him lead you...let him be around a casual conversation between your husband and yourself about the fact that Goldberg isn't feeling well...see if he responds to it with questions.
Does he know anyone else who has lost a pet? Maybe a friend of his has had to deal with this in the recent past. That might be a good starting point to talk about it to him.
Has the vet given you any idea of how long it will probably be before Goldberg gets too uncomfortable to continue? I would talk to him about this issue, I bet he has had to answer these sort of questions a lot in his veterinary career!!
My best advice is don't overload him with information....a 2 year old doesn't process things like we do. Don't be afraid to let him see that you are sad at the loss of your buddy...and don't deny his feelings. Let him know that it is alright to be sad, take pictures of him with Goldberg, that will be important to you both in later years. And just be there for him, mourn your loss together as a family.
Give Goldberg a pat on the head from me!!!

So sorry to hear about your situation. I was in a similar situation when my daughter was 2. My kitty, that I had been with me for 15 years started to go through kidney failure. In truth, losing her was harder on me than it was for my daughter who was about 2 at the time. As difficult as it may seem, children are really resistant and don't feel loss as deeply as an adult. Their sense of time isn't as developed.

What helped me, and what I think will help you and your children is this website: http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html
and this site: http://rainbowbridge.com/Grief_Support_Center/Grief_Suppo...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

I'm so sorry for you and your family. Goldberg sounds like a very loved and happy dog with a wonderful family. The book Dog Heaven is good at explaining or the Rainbow Bridge poem, parts of it may help, the idea of over the rainbow might be nice since anytime it rains you can look for the rainbow and think of Goldberg. Also maybe have him pick a special toy or treat to go with Goldberg when it is his time. He may understand that Goldberg is sick. It can be hard since sometimes the end is very sudden, fine one minute and time the next or it can be a little slower and he will see that Goldberg doesn't feel well. A stuffed animal that looks similar may also help him get through the difficult time.

For the whole family go ahead and decide if euthanasia is an option for you if Goldberg starts to suffer or stops eating. If it is, go ahead and talk to your vet about the procedure if you have any questions, if they use a preservative, if your son can come if you want, iv catheters, and if it can be done at home if you are interested. Also if he starts getting nausea, sometimes there are drugs that can help and prolong a happy life longer or a course of pred will sometimes help a little longer. So you can talk to your vet about all the options out there that can make life more comfortable. It sounds like right now Goldberg is doing great though. Make sure to give him special treats and lots of love as I'm sure you are already doing. Also if there are any special activities he likes, going go the park even if just to hang out for a little bit, car rides, etc go ahead and go for it.

I hope Goldberg does well for many weeks and months to comes and longer. It is hard when you know and they are still acting so normal. Sometimes milk thistle can help prolong life and feeling good and is not hard on the pet like surgery and chemo would be. I'm not sure I could put a dog through treatment either, so hard on everyone. I hope any time you have left is wonderful and that you have lots of it left and more than you think.