Exchanging Gifts Mess

I don't think she is expecting a gift like you are---at least thats what it sounds like that if she gives you gifts you will have to give her gifts or you have to match her big gift giving. You don't have to do that. You can't really stop the gift giving unless you want to offend her and ask her to stop. Christmas is about giving---so don't worry about the tit for tat kind of exchange. If she gives a gift, thank her and move on. When it is time for the birthdays or xmas, you can decide then what you want to do if anything.

M

Sens a thank you note.
Most people don't give gifts because they "expect" a gift.
Always give what you'd like, when you'd like. Don't base it on past occurrences.
Different people have different financial issues.
Be gracious when giving or getting a gift.
Your kids should have opened the card in front of your cousin!

Giving gifts are optional. When they become mandatory or given with a feeling of dread, that is when you need to step back and examine why you feel obligated or dread. Just because someone gives a gift, no matter what the value of the gift does NOT mean a gift must or should be given in return. A thank you note is a must, without a doubt, but a gift in return is not.

I would be sure to thank her for the gift and tell her sorry that you didn't think that you were exchanging gifts. Then mention to her that you are cuting down on gift exchanging and next year, a chocolate Santa is the limit. That will make it easier for all.

Maybe they got it because of all the gifts you have given their kids in the past and had the money this year to get it.

I would just continue to get a small token gift that your thinking of them at Christmas time.

maybe they gave the $25 gift card because they never gave gifts in the past?

I would be completely offended if I gave a gift to someone and they said "thanks for the gift but we don't want to exchange gifts in the future." I give a gift because I enjoy giving it. I don't expect a return gift. Just be a gracious reciever. In my family, my sister gets everyone really nice gifts because they can afford it and she enjoys giving, my other sister can't afford it and they do their gifting within their household, we give (or not) to the extended family based on our ability every year. No one gives with any expectation of a return, they just enjoy giving. My sister was so excited to hear my reaction to our gift this year, she kept calling to see if it arrived yet.

Say thanks, and enjoy using the card to get something fun for your kids.

Just send a thank you and continue with things they way they've been. Send a little gift when you think about it. If you aren't close I doubt this will turn into a regular occurance. They probably felt bad because you've given gifts in the past and they haven't.
If you send a $5 gift for birthday or Christmas then they will know this is where you will stay. They will give you what they want to and can afford, that in no way obligates you to spend an equal amount.

Mommyof1 has a great idea...Write a nice thank you note. You can thank them for the wonderful gift card and then kindly explain that you felt bad that you didn't realize you were exchanging gifts this year because it hasn't been the tradition in the past, and you and your family have cut back a bit on gift exchanges. Then leave it at that...they should get the hint.

i wouldn't sweat it. i'm not a big gift giver, but sometimes i'll see something and go 'aha!' and get it for a niece or friend or aunt or someone i don't usually buy for at all. a not-too-close family member sent my entire family gifts for a couple of years. we sent sincere thanks but didn't reciprocate, and when it quit we were fine with it. i hope she doesn't have hard feelings, but if she does, it's really not any of my business.
i would just send the thank you card and then quietly opt out.
khairete
S.

Send a "thank you" card. And send things as you like for their kids - just as you have done in the past.

Exchanging gifts is not about match for match giving. I love to give gifts. And I love Christmas because it gives me an "excuse" to do so. Getting a "thank you" is nice, but I feel sad if, instead of just enjoying the gift, the other person feels obligated to reciprocate. I feel worse if they act as if I EXPECTED them to do so!

It's easier now that most of the other people I know have kids. Most people can graciously accept a small gift for a child without feeling the need to give anything back.

Assume the giving was done in joy and in the spirit of the season. Express your gratitude & move on.

Good luck!

if it's an issue, make the gifts smaller and smaller each year?? til eventually, no gift is better than a 5.00 gift card for wal-mart