Etiquette Question - What Do I Wear, and What Gift Do We Bring??

Black slacks and a nice fancy maternity top will be fine. It IS an assisted living facility! Simpler is always best. Simple jewelry, nails done, etc.

If you plan on more kids then it won't be too wasteful to buy a new skirt. It is always fun to get something new anyway. If you look you can already find Winter clothes on clearance too.

I would wear the nicest pants I own and the nicest maternity top otherwise. Accessories can make a simple outfit look extra special too. A nice necklace and a pair of earrings can make a girl feel special too.

Wear your black pants, black shoes, nice top. A scarf or necklace would also be nice to add a little pizzaz if the top is plain. If the top is patterned go with hoop earrings.

I used to be around politicians all the time and they are NOT snazzy dressers so don't worry!

Black pants are OK. You didn't say how far into your pregnancy you are.
However, imo, it's OK to wear a maternity top over your black pants.
Not glitzy, not casual . . . .
something you might wear to an afternoon concert or lecture.

Please try to let go of your nervousness.
These are two elderly people.
I don't think you need to bone up on current events.

Whatever the judge enjoyed about your husband's attitude or conversation,
he probably decided his wife would enjoy the same thing.
Just be relaxed and don't worry about them judging you.
They won't . . . unless you upset a pitcher of ice water or coffee
over someone. And you won't do that.
So, there's nothing to worry about.

About bringing . . . . retired people in assisted living facilities
really don't have much room for excess stuff.
A very small potted plant, perhaps.
I don't know that it is necessary to bring anything.

Once you let go of your tension, I thnk you'll have a good time.
And congratulations on having chosen such an entertaining husband!

Let's see. You can wear black dress pants for brunch, as long as they are nice black trousers (not "jean" type of material or cargo pants). If this were an evening affair, then a skirt or dress is definitely necessary. Then a top with a nice cardigan. That would be just fine.
You could even wear your dresses if you wear a cardigan with it. A nice cardigan always dresses something down if it's dressy, or takes a regular shirt and dresses it up.
As for the gift- I think flowers are a nice gift. Maybe even a potted plant (but not peace lilies or anything like that). Maybe tulips, violets, or whatever you can find in the dead of winter.

If limited wardrobe and limited budget is an issue I would go with the black slacks and maybe check out a new to you top from a second hand store....Kid2Kid has a section for 2nd hand maternity clothes and since they are usually worn for such a short time :-) are usually in good shape still.
As for a gift...when my grandma was in a assisted living she was thrilled to get a small potted african violet. Fragrant flowers are sometimes overpowering for some people so I'd stay away from a flower arrangement. And as for being nervous....my experience visiting at places like this is that the elderly are just so happy to have fresh visitors. Try and remember that they were once young and nervous just like you . good luck

I know being pregnant, you may not want to go out and purchase something, but you need to wear what I've always called a "church dress." Not as fancy as you would wear to an evening wedding or cocktail party, but a nice dress or skirt and sweater (or skirt and jacket) combo that you would wear to a church service that's NOT one of the informal "jeans are okay" ones or something you would wear if you worked in a nice office, where it was not "business casual" or "jeans are okay." A nice wool skirt with a turtleneck sweater or something of that nature should fit the bill.

Take flowers! That would be a lovely thing to bring as a token of your appreciation. Steer away from alcohol or candy given their ages and the fact that you never know if someone is an alcoholic. If you don't want to take flowers, take a nice book. Again -steer clear of overly religious or political material, but the Ben Franklin biography or a collection of essays or short stories of some sort is always nice.

I would follow Mallory's advice.

I don't think a hostess gift is necessary, however if you are determined..... a friend of mine just came for dinner and in a sweet little decorated bag she brought a miniature bottle of champagne for the new year and some candied pecans she made herself. I thought it was sweet.

I would dress like I were going to church. Many of the seniors will be coming from early service. If you want to bring a gift, maybe a book for his wife. Hobby type like Birdwatching or a bestselling novel that appeals to the older set. Or forego the gift and go to the maternity store in the mall and get yourself something that looks put together and sharp. Something like a navy skirt with a white ruffled blouse. Women in politics usually opt for solid red or navy blue and white. It's crisp, clean, pulled together and patriotic.

Are there other people coming to this brunch, or is it just you and your husband and the host couple? If it's a group, you can have fun listening to everybody else. If it just the four of you, be ready to ask these people questions about themselves and their experiences.

Flowers are fine, wherever the party is. They will end up in the room of your friends.

For what to wear, I'd keep it simple and classy. I like skirts myself, but black dress pants might be fine, with the sort of top that would be appropriate at, say, a business lunch. Wear dress shoes, even if they're flats, and a little jewelry.

Pick your husband's brains about these people so you'll feel more comfortable about them, and wear your best smile! Don't worry about impressing them. The less you worry about yourself and the more you're interested in them, the more impressed they'll be.

My parents used to run an assisted living facitlity a few years back. Most of the residents do like to dress up a little for their meals because that's what they did in their day. I think black pants and a nice shirt or sweater would be appropriate. Also, some facilities have rules about alcohol in the building so I would check if you wanted to bring wine. Flowers could still be a good choice because they can always take them back to their room after brunch. Candy is good too :)

As to what to wear, since you already own black pants, I would wear those with a nice blouse or sweater. You can also dress up the outfit with some nice jewelry or other accessories.

As to what to bring, that's a difficult question. I think I would stick with some flowers, be sure they're in a vase or container. Candy or some homemade goodies would be nice, but they may have dietary restrictions.

If you can, get a beige colored skirt (since its morning lighter colors are nice) and nice blouse with a light jacket or sweater over it. (Think female equivalent to a sports coat). If that's not possible go for black slacks with a nice sweater.

I would bring flowers for the lady, doesn't matter if you're going to her room or not. Try something colorful and casual, daisies or daffodils?

A casual skirt and sweater. Flowers would still be ok. They can take them back to thier living area and enjoy them.

I think you got some good advice about clothes. I also think bringing flowers would be thoughtful. You can always go with a small vase to keep the arrangement looking cheerful but simple, it will probably look nice on the table or back on their nightstand in their apt.

I think a skirt or a dress.... pants with a nice feminine top would be ok if you have nothing else. No khakis! You can always dress down a nice dress with a cardigan and flat shoes.
Don't bring wine. I probably wouldn't bring flowers either (someone will have to deal with them) but it is a much better idea than wine. Candles are nice. If you are crafty some hand made soap. Pretty matching napkins and place mats. A set of nice handkerchiefs for his wife. Chocolates?
A nice set of blank cards for writing notes.
Are you sure you need to bring anything?

How intimate is the brunch going to be? Is it just you and your husband and the Judge and his wife? Or is it a large function where the Judge is the speaker at an "event" ?

I've been to some VERY nice, 'uppity' type assisted living facilities. Like mini-resorts! I'm guessing that is what this is like?
I was going to suggest a nice pants suit before you said you were pregnant, so I think black slacks and a nice blouse would be fine. These days, Wal-Mart even has nice maternity tops if you need one in a pinch, or even a resale shop.

As far as what to bring? Hard to say. You don't know any medications they are on, or condition of teeth or allergies for any type of food. But, being elderly and in the community, they might appreciate something homemade. Maybe you can make them a low-sugar type cake that they could share? Something without an icing. Even maybe a banana bread or a zucchini bread? Just wrap it tightly and tie a ribbon on it. No nuts, because you never know. ;)

One of my best friends is a judge and she is one classy dresser and I am totally not, just basics for me and she loves me for me.

So just be yourself, b/c all others are taken.

Even mentioning the dress code before hand is a totally classic East coast mindset. But that is nevertheless where you live.

So go very basic, very classic, very Jackie O...I would recommend your black slacks, black pumps, a nice maternity top to show off your beautiful belly with a nice necklace and earrings, make sure your hands and nails are nicely trimmed and clean.

It's always helpful to know a little about current events, so watch CNN for half an hour while folding the laundry.

And definitely bring fresh flowers, b/c they can throw those out when are past their prime. Potted plants take up space. Wine/alcohhol might not be drinkable depending upon their medications.

And most importantly, relax, smile and enjoy that your friendly husband attracts such neat people.

I would think skirt or dress with a cardigan over it if the dress is too formal. I am prego too and I have also worn really nice black dress slacks with a nice silky type prego shirt too. Fortunately though I wear business casual to work so I have more to choose from.

As for a hostess gift, I am at a loss....I would say book or a potted plant. Have fun :)

I think black slacks and a nice top would be just fine. Wear flats. Think comfort. YOu don't have to go overboard.