Etiquette for Second Baby shower....monetary Donations??

Have a diaper and wipe shower. I loved that shower better than getting clothes my child might wear or might not. Plus, that will save you that much more....

with my second son, my mom threw me a money tree baby shower. we really needed a second crib. it worked well because even people that couldn't make it sent money. hope this helps you.

I think if you register somewhere then on the invitations, list where you are registered. You will still probably get gifts that aren't on your registry, but this way maybe more will go to the places you've registered at. Or include a "wish list" of sorts inside the invite....that's my 2 cents, for what it's worth! LOL

Asking for money as a gift is always rude. And showers for second, third, etc. babies is (IMO) somewhat tacky. If, however, your friends are insisting on giving you a shower, then you should register the specific items you need and only those items.
Any gifts that you receive that you don't want/need should be received with gratitude, a thank you note written, and can then be returned to the store from which they came. You can apply the refund to a savings bond.

I am currently pregnant with my second child. My kids will end up being 22 months apart. My first is a boy and my one on the way is supposed to be a girl. When I was pregnany with my first my family through me a shower in IL (where they live) and my friends through me one in NE (where they live) when I was in the respective states visiting. Since then i have started working here and have joined a military spouses group. This pregnancy my coworkers through me a shower and my spouses group through me a shower. It wasn't weird because the baby is the opposite gender and neither of these groups had thrown me a shower before. The thing with showers (first, second or third) is that they should not be at the request of the honoree. If someone has already said they are going to through you a shower that's awesome, but it would be inappropriate to ask someone to do that. As far as the money goes, it is actually against etiquette rules to include anything about a registry in the invitations. The assumption being that if someone wants to know where you are registered they will ask the host. Asking for money is also inappropriate. I don't remember who suggested it, but I agree. When you register, only register for the large items you need and gift cards to that store. Don't waste your time registering for burp clothes and receiving blankets. That way people will generally get the idea that these are the things you need and may go in together as a group or get you a gift card. Some people don't like to give gift cards because they seem impersonal and some people want to buy baby clothes as a gift because they don't get to buy baby clothes very often and, let's face it, it's fun. Just be gracious and if it is some you genuinely won't use return it later and put the money towards what you need.

As far as the savings bond, my neighbor started just putting her change and dollars into a piggy bank for her son and the baby is 5 weeks old and they have already saved $250. That might be worth trying. Apparently and handful of change here and there can really add up and you probably won't even miss it.

Since you do need some big gifts, maybe tell people that they can get you a gift card to whatever store you want to buy the car seat, stroller, etc from (i.e., Babies 'R Us). Or you could always go register for your big-ticket items (and maybe some diapers, wipes, etc) and also put a note on the registry that people can get you gift cards.

The idea of a second baby shower borders on bad taste. Baby showers are really for the first child but I know that they have become more common for second or even thrid children. I would not ask for money. If it comes down to it, you can always return items that you receive in hopes for cash or at least store credit for larger sizes or more advanced toys.

If someone asks you specifically what you need, that would be a good time to mention savings bonds which are a great gift but not really something I would put on an invite.

Good luck and congratulations!

I don't see the problem asking because I asked for the monetary donations as well. Everyone that was invited to my shower was family and they knew I wasn't working at the time. The phrase you came up with to put on the invitations is perfect. Everyone knows having a baby is expensive, especially if this isn't your first child, so they should understand.

I agree that showers for second and even third children are becoming more commonplace, but I feel they are most appropriate for children who are born many years apart, where the parents may have gotten rid of baby items, or the items have been stored, but are not as fit for use, as when they are of opposite genders. Typically, it is seen in bad taste, but can be well received only if your family and circle of friends are somewhat insistant or totally supportive of throwing another "shower." (their idea)

On a lighter note, any life should be celebrated! And...if you're in need of items, well, you're in need of items! So, I have two ideas...for now anyway. :)

Maybe, instead of a traditional shower, you could send out an invitation for a "celebration" of a new life. Gift registry information could be made small and unobtrusive at the bottom of the invitation, but some how word it as not...I don't want to say "manditory"...but you know what I mean. Open yourself up to a celebration only, and be okay with people not giving anything...this is a great way to share your pregnancy and excitement for a new baby with everyone without your guests feeling the "pressure" of purchasing gifts. For many of us, though, as long as we're close, we don't feel "pressured"...we just want to lavish the child with gifts and love, so we tend to purchase what we can afford or what we think will be "oh so cute" for the baby...sometimes we don't take into consideration what the parents really NEED (unless there's a registry). So....certainly, I would think, if you register for only larger items, people will get the hint that you only NEED the more expensive items and would opt for including money or gift cards. This sort of gathering takes the pressure off those who can't afford much, but still want to contribute, or it takes away the notion entirely for those who feel showers for second and third children is inappropriate. You know how we women are, and when we receive invitations, we all typically talk, or try to if we're all close. We try to figure out what's the best "thing" to give, who's giving what, if the parents already know the sex of the baby, are they waiting, etc., etc., etc.,...we're just curious that way. :)

Or (second idea)...you could have the "celebration" and not include any information on registeries or gift giving. --Upside: with or without this type of celebration, you could wind up still in need of these items and without help. However, this way, you at least get to have a gathering of friends and family to celebrate, and that's the most important part anyway.-- When they RSVP, it may prompt them to ask about registeries...and the person who is hosting the event could mention that only the big ticket items are needed, however, gift cards to the appropriate store or contributions of some manner to those larger items is DEFINITELY appreciated, but certainly not necessary. This, I would think, would prompt a friendly, positive way to discuss helping the soon to be parents without crossing some barriers some feel are inappropriate. -- It will probably also prompt more discussion among friends and family to contribute, but in a positive way, especially if they feel you aren't expecting it, but are in need nonetheless.-- If they ask why it is that you're registered if gifts aren't necessary for the shower, maybe mention that you had some specific friends and family (maybe out of town??) asking if you needed anything, and if so, what, so you decided to make it less of a challenge by taking away their burden of choosing.

Wording for invitations, etc. can certainly be manipulated (in most positive manner, of course) to fit your lifestyle, family, friends, etc. I certainly don't pretend to think we all have families/friends which will react the same, but you can make it your own. Most importantly, approach everything with a positive attitude (you and your hostess), especially if they (hostess) receive any negativity from anyone invited. Well "planted" thoughts can make all the difference! (again...you know how women talk...) This is certainly a wonderful thing, no matter if he/she is the first child or the fifteenth, so there should definitely be some sort of celebration! Maybe look online for some invitation wording ideas, or look to your local printing shop, boutique, etc. to get ideas for your invitations...this will set the tone for the entire event long before it occurs.

I know this was long, but I hope this helps, and congratulations on your new addition!!