Hi smart women! Hope your day is starting out well. I have a question and I absolutely know you will have the answers for me. So many of you write so well, and also know so much about etiquette and so forth. OK here's the question:
My brother got married on October 4th in Hawaii. They eloped but not because they wanted to, because nobody could afford to come to the wedding. He lives in Arizona, so does his wife's family. My side of the family is all NY and Florida. Anyways. They had a gorgeous private wedding on the beach. They had a "traditional" wedding with all the music, the videographer etc.
OK so they're coming to NY during Christmas and we are planning a party for them here when they arrive. The party is going to be at a restaurant in a private party room. I need help with:
1. What should the invitation say? My parents are hosting it should it say
Tom and Lori ________ invite you to a party to celebrate the marriage of their son Joshua and his new wife, Laura?
Or is there a better wording?
Also, should we make them set up a wedding registry or is that dumb? Just let people bring gifts if they want? I also don't want them to have a ton of stuff to have to carry back with them...
2. And what would you guys do for guest party favors?
For info, It will be a fairly small, family only party. About 25 people in total. The place we're doing it is a nice but not overly fancy Italian restaurant.
Thanks so much for your input ladies!
YOU ARE ALL GREAT!!! And I love the idea of doing a Hawai themed party! So cute!!
This is an example from www.invitationconsultants.com:
Mr. and Mrs. William Baker
have the honour of announcing
the marriage of their daughter,
Barbara Marie
to
Dexter Phillip Leon
on Saturday, August 16th, 2014
The couple was joined in marriage
in a private ceremony on
Cook Island, Barbados
Please join them for a reception
celebrating their union
on October 18th at 6:00 p.m.
at Luigi's Italian Palace, 123 Oak Street
It depends how traditional or contemporary you want to be in the invitation. You could write, formally, "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's parents announce the marriage of their children, Cinderella and Prince Charming, on October fourth. A reception in their honor will be held on December 30th, etc."
There's nothing wrong with formality. But if you don't want to sound that formal, just relax it a bit. Above all, don't try to be "cute."
I think it will look and sound better on the announcement to announce the marriage first and then announce the party.
Where gifts are concerned, the question is *not* how much stuff they'll have to carry back with them (carry back where? Are they living in Hawaii?). That just comes along with gifts; don't burden your guests with guilt for it (I've seen this happen)! If the party is for only two dozen or so people, I wouldn't do the registry thing, but I would be ready to let invitees know, if they ask, what the couple would like.
I like Mary's more formal wording. If you want to keep it a bit more casual, I think it would be more clear if you added "recent" before marriage - it will clue people in that the wedding has already happened.
Mary wrote it perfectly. I just checked my Emily Post etiquette book (yes, I was gifted one at my wedding) and the "correct" way to invite people to the party really is: "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's parents announce the marriage of their children, Cinderella and Prince Charming, on October fourth. A reception in their honor will be held on December 30th, at Joe's restaurant." If you want to make it a bit less formal, you could change the last sentence to "Please join us at a reception in their honor..."
For only 25 people, don't do a registry. You can always tell people who ask that a check would be best since they have to carry all of the gifts back to AZ. As for favors, do something that people will actually use and/or need. Picture frames with a photo of the new couple are cute, but only if you think people would actually want a picture of them! If nothing else, a small box or bag of candy/cookies is a nice take-away. You can get the typical sugared almonds, or something else elegant like petit fours.
I like the wording suggestions - but pulling off what you already had -
Tom & Lori invite you to celebrate the marriage of their son joshua to Laura Last name. Join us at XYZ restaurant at 6 pm. (other party details). I would add a picture of the two of them on the beach in their wedding attire to clue people in and even put "Married in Honolulu, HI on June 5, 2003" or whatever their wedding date was.
since it is similar to a wedding invitation, I wouldn't put registry, but as Amanda pointed out - be ready to answer folks if they ask "where are they registered"
Also, in terms of guest favors - maybe a picture of the couple or go traditional almonds, with the couple's wedding date on it. But if I were a guest, I wouldn't expect anything since the party itself is a gift:)
Have fun!!!
'Tom and Lori ________ invite you to celebrate the marriage of their son Joshua and Laura (last name)'
'Tom and Lori _______ invite you to welcome their new daughter-in-law Laura to the family'
Since they would have to ship everything home, it would probably be best to not register. People would probably bring cards, gift cards, etc. So you should have a 'cards' box/wishing well.
For theme, I would do palm trees wrapped in Christmas lights. Pineapple upside down cake. Hawaiian fruit-cake.
http://www.bakeshophawaii.com/collections/types?q=Hawaiia...
For favors: Remember tho that only ladies tend to take party favors
- boxes of macadamia nuts
- pineapple trail mix.
- if your family drinks. bottles of wine. http://www.volcanowinery.com/
- palm shaped candies
You really can't go wrong with the more formal wording. I had a friend do the same and the invitation to their reception was elegant and reflective of the celebration of their marriage.
As for a registry, I would say no. All of the guests will realize that they are travelling, so they will likely get "envelop gifts" for that reason alone. When people call and ask, have a list of favorite restaurants or preferred stores ready. "Cinderalla and Prince Charming are working on decorating their new home. Gift cards to Pottery Barn or Target would be great!"
Favors... are actually going out of style for most weddings because they are usually useless and get thrown away. If you would like to do something, an individually wrapped chocolate is usually well-received as is a bottle of wine per couple (depending on your budget). If you wanted to get a little fancy, you can have personalized labels made and have a wrapped bottle of wine for guests/couples as they are leaving. Just don't do something like a votive candle with their names on it. I promise you ... it will be money wasted.
