Establishing Good Sleep Habits

Congratulations on your new baby!! No tips...just some info. First, all babies get fussier and fussier week after week until they hit 6 weeks old from gestational 40 weeks of age. (And then, 80% of babies begin calming down after that). Second, all babies go through a major sleep transition around 3 months old. These are things that you can't really control.

I guess I'm saying that I'm not sure you can really influence things too much right now, since he is gong through so much physiological development. Whatever he is doing now may be totally different in two weeks. Nothing is "your fault" and you can't screw it up. (I'm certain you didn't screw-up your first child either!)

Congrats again. Hang in there -- it's tough when you have two kids under 2yrs.

Focus on calming the evening fussiness first. If you're not swaddling him, start doing it. Swaddle him, place him in your arms facing you (so he is in a side-lying position), give him a nice loud 'shush' close to his ear, then do your walking around the house (or even bust out the swing - he'd probably respond very well to that). After about 1-3 times of doing this routine you will find that he will likely calm down and stop the fussiness immediately.

Any sort of calming or soothing routine needs to begin within 1-2 hours of the baby being awake. He's likely having problems falling asleep at night because the poor little guy is so fried from being awake so long. So, around 6:00 start soothing him down. He probably won't fall asleep right away but he probably won't need to be walked around 30 minutes. Help him to be calm and peaceful as opposed to overtired.

If he's not hungry but looking for comfort, use the breast, finger, or pacifier for soothing. This is NOT a bad habit; this is an essential soothing technique that newborns use to calm themselves.

There's nothing that says you can't put him down awake now. If he's soothed and calm, then by all means, put him down drowsy but awake. My son is only 3 weeks and even though he gets up 3-4 hours at night to feed, as soon as we're done eating, I take about 5-10 minutes to pack him back in the swaddle, let him lay tummy-to-tummy, give him his pacifier, and then put him in his crib. He's off to comfy-comfy land and puts himself to sleep; I don't have to rock him for endless hours trying to calm him down. Teach your son how to fall asleep drowsy but awake NOW and once he starts becoming more social (around 6 weeks), he'll still remember these wonderful skills you taught him (self-soothe to sleep) and be able to do it all on his own.

It's a good idea to start thinking and planning now, but realistically (and physiologically) good solid patterns might not appear until 3-4 months of age. Work on the morning nap first, then the afternoon nap - with whatever techniques you'd like. At this time, the body's circadian rhythms are synching and appropriate chemicals (melatonin, etc.) are being released to tell the brain 'wake time' and 'sleep time'.

My son is a great sleeper. He started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks (mind you sleeping through the night to me was down at 10 and up at 5 for a feeding, then back down until 8). We were very conscious of not holding him when he was sleeping. We just put him in his crib, sometimes awake, sometimes asleep. I let him lay on the boppy pillow on the floor in the living room, sometimes on his tummy and he would sleep great. We gave him lots of time in his swing (but he only slept there a few times). Also tried to let him have lots of floor time. He is our first, so that was easy. When you have another little one running around that may not be such an easy option. We went through sprits of him sleeping through and then back to waking up. When I discovered it being a pattern I had my hubby go in and tend to him so he was not getting the feeding if he did not need it. We are very lucky now that at 17 months he sleeps from 7 pm to 7 am most nights.

Good luck.

I have a 3 1/2 yr. old & 14mo. old. Son sleeps like a champ, daughter...well, that's another story! I'd recommend putting baby in crib earlier than 12 weeks, maybe around 8 weeks. I'd also watch the nursing to sleep...that was the downfall w/ my son...although he's a champ sleeper now, & always slept through the night, he just started falling asleep on his own at 3yrs. I'd also send your husband in sooner so baby doesn't start relying only on you. I know you said no books...but I did the Baby Whisperer method on my daughter & that got her to fall asleep in her crib (vs. nursing / rocking like we did w/ my son). Good luck.

T.
www.mydiaperbabycakes.com

Hi J.,

Definitely start the night time routine ASAP. I would also suggest maybe not worrying about getting him to nap after 5 PM and scooting his bedtime up a little bit so that he isn't overly tired when you put him to bed.

Sounds like you're on the right track. Remember that from about 4-12 weeks most babies have an evening "fussy period" during which they will cry whether they are overtired or not. It's their way of dealing with being overstimulated during the day, and "reorganizing" themselves. You may be running into that.

FWIW with baby #2 we kept her in our bedroom much longer than #1 - we moved #1 around 12 weeks, but #2 was in the co-sleeper/our bed until 7 months. What worked best for me personally was to just pull her into bed with me when she was fussy. She'd often sleep a much longer stretch just knowing I was there (didn't wake to nurse as often). Obviously at some point that ended for us and we all were better off when she "moved out".

I agree waiting 2-5 mins is a good idea. 3 months is still a bit early to sleep train - I would not "cut him off" from nursing at night nearly that early. If he's been nursing every 6 hours at night and then one night wakes after 3, send hubby in. But if he wakes again at his "usual" snack time, I would go in to nurse him. Does that make sense? Good luck.

Both of my kids are great sleepers. They were both sleeping 7-8 hours a night by the time they were 8 weeks old. My daughter just turned 4 months and she sleeps 11 hours a night. Here's the trick: get your little one on a feeding schedule during the day so that he doesn't need to eat at night. He needs to eat every 3 hours right now. Our schedule looked like this: eat at 7 and 10 a.m., and 1,4,7 and 10 p.m. Then DO NOT wake the baby in the middle of the night to feed. Let him wake up on his own. Then start the schedule again the next day. It takes about 6 weeks to adjust and then he will start to sleep through, and then gradually you will be able to drop the last feeding so that he is going to sleep earlier. The more strictly you follow the eating routine, the sooner he will sleep through the night for you. The baby needs to eat, then be awake for an hour to an hour and a half, and then sleep for 1.5-2 hours. I know you said no book recommendations, but it's a short book: "On Becoming Babywise". This is the method I am talking about and it works great. Everyone I have talked to who has used this method has the same results: great sleeping kids. If you have anymore questions, please message me. Good luck!