Emotionally 'All over the Place' Daughter!!!

Hi Missy,
It's timely for me that you're writing about this. My husband and I have an appointment today to see a child psychiatrist for the first time about my daughter who is almost 6 years old. I think that my daughter might have OCD - she displays a lot of the behavior you're talking about (mood swings, being all over the place emotionally), but also other OCD-ish behavior (she obsesses over the clock/time, is obsessed with paper birds that she cuts out of paper and plays with, and is anxious over a lot of things). Based on the child psychiatrist's evaluation, we will most likely be getting her some therapy. I've also done a little research online about a supplement called inositol that's supposed to be very helpful to people with OCD and other psychiatric problems. If you want more information on this, send me a PM through Mamapedia. I guess my ultimate advice would be to have her evaluated by either a child psychiatrist or child psychologist. They would know whether the behavior is "normal" or not. Good luck!

Hi Missy,

My daughter was about 7 ½ when she started to exhibit these behaviors. She was an emotional roller coaster all the time. It was interesting because on the weekends she was totally her happy go lucky self, no problems, but during the school week, the behavior would resurface.

What I did was tune into when my daughter communicates with me the best which was either in the car or as I was tucking her into bed.

One night as I was tucking her in I said to her that I noticed she was feeling frustrated a lot lately and I guessed that she was feeling so many different emotions that she couldn’t out her finger on the problem. I’m thinking to myself, this in turn made her feel hopeless and lost within herself. I didn’t bombard her with a hundred questions but kept it simple. Then I told her that in the morning I wanted her to make a list of all the things that made her feel “anxious” or “frustrated”.

The next morning she gave me her list and I was surprised by what was on there. There were small matters (she wanted a different backpack but didn’t want to ask. She picked out the one she wanted but then changed her mind) and big matters…. The biggest (for a 7 ½ y/o) being that her friends were changing a lot. Meaning they were being mean or gossiping about other kids. Not about my daughter but about other girls in her class and my daughter didn’t feel it was right but was afraid to say anything in fear they would turn against her. All the big and little “problems” added up to huge stress for her. It caused her to feel out of control in all aspects of her life.

We went over the list together and talked about it ALL. She kept it simple like #1 = my friends are mean. That opened up the opportunity to talk about it so now I had a specific problem.

Your daughter is only 6 ½ so what you might see as something really insignificant could seem HUGE to her. I’m sure there is a time when your daughter communicates the best. Don’t bombard her with questions, relate to her and never say anything like “Oh I’m sure it’s nothing” or “That’s a silly thing to be upset over” because then she will think “Mommy doesn’t understand” because in reality you saying those things does mean you don’t understand.

It takes time and patience and A TON of loving and cuddles!!!

I hope you figure this out with your precious daughter!

Question: is this anxiety affecting her life? If so, then assume that she inherited it from you (anxiety disorders run in families) and get her some help with hers. Think how your life may have been better if you got a treatment that made fears assoicated wtih the "unknown" of a schedule were just to have vanshied? What else would you have had room for in your life had that happend?

Forget how this makes you feel. Think about how this makes her feel. Anxieity disorders are treated quite routinly by Board Certified Child Psychiatrists. It is a very common brain illness. No shame, no stygma, totally organic in nature, just like urinary tract disorders or blood chemistry disfunction. You would seek treatment for both of the later...take care of your daughters brain, just like it was the part of her body that makes pee...it is really not any differnent than any other part of her that is flesh and blood.

M.

Hi Missy,
sounds like anxiety to me. I have this and I deal with it by facing it and having list of what needs to get done and what is going to happen during the day. (you should see my calendar! :) Bu I am an adult and can think more abstractly. But as a little child, I dealt with it by being very introverted and cautious and not going out of my comfort zone. My mother was excellent in knowledge with therapies and helped me come up with some good coping strategies. I think it would be good for both of you to see a therapist together, cause if mom can do it, she will do it. you could also talk to her about your anxiety and that will help her feel like you relate to her. Tell her ways that you deal with anxiety. Try giving her a journal and having her draw things or write (if she can) about what gives her stress every night or morning. you could help her make lists in it about what is going to happen soon. This would also be a good way for you to talk with her them and help her work through them. This will especially good if she is a visual or tactile learner. She can see and feel the words or pictures.
Good luck!
E.

That is typical of my girls too. It does subside eventually. =)

I think this is somewhat normal for this age. My daughter is 8, I've volunteered alot at school and with Girl Scouts. Some kids are more sensitive than others and I've noticed they can be all over the place emotionally at that age. A good source to see if this may fit your daughter is "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron. More at http://www.hsperson.com/index.html As well as describing this type of personality (not sure that's the best terminology) the book also gives suggestions for coping.

Is there a school counselor you can speak to and get input about your daughter? Have you asked the teacher's opinion about her behavior? I'm wondering if she's giving you a report but not also letting you know that this is in the normal range of behavior but something to help her with.

My daughter is 8 now. She had these same issues since she was 4. She had been labeled a difficult child, and thus treated like one. Just this last year we have discovered that all along she has had an anxiety disorder and a mood disorder. She also exhibits OCD behavior. She is seeing a counselor now at least twice a week and it is helping tremendously. Helping her find ways to cope with her anxiety are key. She also see a Psychiatrist regularly. My daughter is doing so much better in school now and the mood swings are much less severe. Hope this helps, Good luck.

The OCD/scheduling is what jumped out at me, especially in conjunction with the mood swings.

I would have her tested for strep. I know this sounds crazy, but infections can cause neurological behaviors. I thought my daughter was just going through a phase at first, but she had some other strange things like eye-blinking and sniffing, and then started intermittently bed-wetting, and it seemed like it was all connected.

The strep tests to have done are rapid culture, 72 hour culture. It is not a fool-proof test since it can live in other places like sinuses too, but it's a good start.

Here is some information if you would like to read up on what I am talking about:
http://www.webpediatrics.com/pandasclinicalcases.html

You can also have her hormones tested at the ped. if you believe it is hormonal.

M.

My daughter was always very sensitive when she was younger. To a certain extent this is normal but I would go somewhere else to get her evaluated. I think the key here would be to get her channeled in the right direction. This is really a pretty common personality type and with a little counseling she could get things under control. She is probably still too you to explain her situation to you but an expert can help.

it is not too early for hormones. I do think it could be that.......but

Was she somewhat anxious before 1st grade? Possibly she is hard wired for anxiety. In that case I would get her help now. Nutrition might help, or counseling.

my daughter is 7 and started acting emotional about 2 weeks before school started. When she would start crying and I could see her about to "loose it", I would do some deep breathing techniques with her. We would look at each other (you have to be very calm too) and breath in through the nose and out through the mouth about two to three times. Also, we learned a song called, "I will be flexible" when she was in pre-k. I can't remember who the writers are but it goes, I will be flexible when things don't go my way. I will be flexible change is Okay!!! And what may be bothering her isn't a big deal to you, to her it could be the weight of a mountain. I ask my daughter one question, "Is there something we can talk about to make you feel better?" If she say "no", I just remind her then that if she wants she can talk to me later and we will both feel better. If she goes all afternoon without melting down, I know she had a good day. If there is meltdown and she didn't want to talk, I get her ready for bed 15 minutes early and when I tuck her in, she is usually ready to talk. And don't just say, "It will be ok" explain why it will be ok. Good luck and have patients, even take a couple deep breaths to calm yourself before starting the conversation. It works for me!!!

Greetings! I am a special education teacher and have experience with these kinds of issues. I am not saying that your daughter has any special education issues but her symptoms may not be something that just go away on their own. It may be cumbersome, but I would start documenting her crying behavior to see if you can figure out a pattern. Write down what happens right before the crying, how long the behavior lasts, and what if anything helps her to calm down. Take this data for a couple of weeks and then talk to her pediatrician. Her behavior may be nothing but the issues you described can also be attributed to several more serious (but highly treatable) issues like, Sensory Processing Dysfunction, OCD, ADHD, or a minor form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome. It could also be something as minor as an anxious child like you described; regardless it seems like it is something that she needs help working out with a professional (maybe a psychologist) I hope I haven't scared you and best of luck.