Eek! How to Tell My Hairdresser (Friend) I Don't Want to Use Her Anymore.

You can either
1. find a product that you think works, and take it with you on an appt.
2. Stop getting it colored and just get it cut for 12 weeks.
3. Just don't make a new appt.

If it were me, I'd choose the friendship over the hair. Friends like this are hard to come by, and the problem will spill over into your son's relationship with his friend.

Just say, "'Mindy,' I've noticed my hair isn't as soft lately. I don't know, maybe it's hormonal, what do you recommend?" It's not really fair to dump her as a hairdresser if you don't even give her a chance to fix the problem.

Don't blame the texture of your hair on your hair dresser! Ask her for help. So many things can impact our hair: medications, diet, hormones, hair product, age, etc. See waht she suggests. If your thyroid is going awry your hair texture will change, if you're on a low-fat diet your hair will change. Stress can do it - weight loss can do it.

I had to stop perming my hair as I got older as it just didn't come out smooth and sliky as it had when I was younger.

I've changed hair dressers over the years and it's never easy - but I don't think this is one of those times you should.

Talk with her about what you have noticed. The haircuts don't have anything to do with your hair, but the coloring product might. Rather than assuming it's "her", make sure that it's not "you"!

My hair texture has changed dramatically over the last 10 years. It was always long and wavy... after my children the wave was gone and it breaks much more easily. I spoke with my hairdresser (friend of ours) and she changed the coloring product she was using and it really did get better.

I would just tell her you've decided to stop highlighting your hair as you've noticed it not being as healthy as it used to be. Her haircuts aren't making your hair unhealthy, so as long as you're happy with the cuts, keep seeing her for those.
Honestly, regular highlighting, age and hormones are probably the culprit. Not her.

It could be hormones. If you like the cut and you think it has to do with the color then tell her you would like her to do research and use a color with natural ingredients. Tell her upfront if she isn't interested in doing all that work you will understand and find someone who is "into" that. Give her a second chance to bring your hair back to life and if she can't Put the onus on her. If she can't deliver then all bets are off.

She's a hairstylist.... tell her about the problems you are seeing with your hair, and ask her what products she would recommend? Ask her if she thinks you need to take a break from highlighting?

If you are satisfied with the cuts, stay with her... just ask her how she can change the product she uses because your hair's needs have changed.......

I stopped highlighting my hair due to the breakage and damaged it caused. I don't know what your natural color is, but mine is medium brown so in order to get caramel/platinum highlights, the hair dresser had to use bleach and leave it on about 45 minutes. The bleach was killing my hair and making it a frizzy mess because ever since I stopped highlighting about 8-9 years ago, my hair barely has any split ends and it doesn't frizz nearly as much. It is much shinier and I get a lot of compliments on the health of my hair, even though I dye it about every 2 months to cover up greys. Could this be the case with you? Has she changed products?

You could also have hypothyroidism which will affect your hair's texture. Hypothyroidism will cause dullness, make hair fall out, and break, and it also affects your skin, among other things. I am currently borderline and have been for a year, and I had to take medication 4 years prior to control my hormone levels. Other than that, hair texture does change with age, especially if you have greys. Some of my greys come in kind of curly and thick, even though my hair is fine and mostly straight.

Maybe giving your hair a break on the dyes will be enough to let it rest and repair itself, and then you can resume. If she has changed products, maybe she can go back to the old formula, since your damage seems to be recent. Did she maybe leave the product in your hair longer than usual? Redo the complete strand rather than just dyeing the new growth? This could also have something to do with it. If you keep putting dye on hair over and over, in the same places, it will eventually cause damage after leaving it in for long periods of time constantly, so it's important she just puts chemical on the new growth.

Haircuts sometimes can make hair look dry. Have you changed your cut? I had some grungy layers put in by razor last year and then I read razors are the worst things you can do for your hair because it will cause dryness and friziness in people with fine hair (like myself). Now that my hair is starting to grow out, it is looking healthier. My co-worker also has razored layers and I notice every time she gets a trim that her hair looks dry again, whereas when it grows out, it starts looking healthier.

Hopefully you can find a way to keep the stylist AND the friendship, while getting your hair back to health!

I've been in your shoes. I went to a person for about 13 plus years and during that time, there had been MANY times when I didn't like the cut or color and the texture of my hair didn't feel good..

Also, my hairdresser never got new products to try , it was always the same old choices. even when it came to hair color, which although I'd say I'd like it this color, because she had limited supplies, she'd have to mix a couple of colors together and "we"d hope it was close to what I wanted..

Also, she NEVER worked mornings, which after I left my old job, were better for me. However, out of loyalty I stayed on.. Then one day, I decided to go where my husband goes (it was 80% cheaper) and I got way more compliments on my hair than I ever had with the other person. Also, I began coloring my own hair...

I told my friend that I was looking to save more money (which is true) and too, I was going to a place nearby my home... Although , she did offer to cut her rates (I never felt comfortable with that) being as I now pay 12... yes.. 12 bucks and it looks like I paid way more.. :)

eventually, our friendship has dropped off... but I see it this way, why should I keep going to a person who will NEVER offer morning service, doesn't get new hair dyes, even though much of what she had I didn't like and lastly, is way more than I can afford..

friendship is one thing.... but your pocketbook is another.. Also, if you don't leave her now, you ll just build resentment... at least I did.. nip it in the bud.. you 've already been a loyal customer.. that is thank you enough..

Oh and I will add.. I used to get highlights like yours and when I got into my 30s.. yes, your hair does change.. the bleach does become a little much for it... after such, instead of straight up bleach for highlights, we d use a lighter blonde and when that didn't look good or I had to get it done too often, I started to dye it myself. mind you, I now have short hair, so it's much easier..

good luck

A "long blonde" myself, you have to remember that all the hair below your shoulders is two years old. So having had said that, it sounds like it's overprocessed by the chemicals. That and combined with the aging process, hair gets more brittle. My hair was stick straight, fine, and oily until I hit my early thirties (and the hormonal changes that go with that). Now it's slightly wavy, a little dry, and courser than it used to be. I'm a natural blonde and don't color, but adding that to my hair at this point would be adding to the problem.
Maybe you could give her one more chance, ask her to do a deep treatment next time you go, and see if it improves with that.

Ask her if she's using a bleach (like Basic White) on your hair. If she is, then she can switch it up to a blonde "color" with a lower developer and you'll definitely have less damage.

But I must say ... I had a situation with my hair stylist. I went to her for my cut and color for a couple of years and I just stopped liking her haircuts; they just started getting sloppy.

So I began having her do my color only and then went to someone else for the cut. She knew what was going on, but kept pressing me on "Don't you need a haircut this time??" At first I would just say, "No" then after a few times of that I finally told her that someone else was cutting my hair but that I still loved her color. She immediately raised my color rates that session in retaliation and I had to officially break up with her. I really liked her as a person, so it just sucked all around.

There will definitely be some hurt involved; I don't have any advice in that regard!

Just be honest with her. As for the damaged hair, if you use chemicals to highlight you will eventually get damage, does not matter who does your hair, that is basic chemistry. In addition to that as you get older your hair can change, getting either more oily or more dry depending on the person. If you really want your healthy hair back then don't just change hair dressers, stop chemically treating your hair. Also, talk to her about the new damage and see if there are any products she can recommend to help.

Go to another salon tell them your concerns, see what products they use, they always want to sell extras. If you like the new products, take them into your friends salon and have her use them.

Keep us posted....

I would just be honest and tell your friend that you want to venture out of your comfort zone and try someone else. I just got my hair cut today by someone new. I really like my old hair stylist. She has always done a nice job.....BUT, I just felt that she didn't go above and beyond. Her work was so predictable. It's hard to explain. Sort of like taking your children to the same photographer year after year, you can predict the pose he/she will use. It always looks the same even though the outfit is different, and the kid is bigger, the image looks like the same ones from previous years. That's how I was feeling with my hair stylist. So, I changed things up today and went to someone else and I've been singing a song in my head since I left the salon, "I feel pretty, oh so pretty!" I haven't felt like this in a long time. Just be honest...go to someone else and hopefully your friend will be mature enough to handle this change with grace.

The older you get, the less tolerant your hair gets. Your hair at 16 is not as durable as your hair at 34, so highlighting now causes more damage faster than it did back then. I suggest you stop highlighting entirely, not just via your friend.

I haven't colored my hair much, but I can say in the last 3 years it changed completely. I'm 45. Had my son at 39 and breastfed till he was 2.5. It took about a year after I stopped and my hair started freaking out. Bigger, dryer, frizzier. So it may be hormones. Don't dance around - ask her if you can try something else because the texture has changed. Ask your doctor/obgyn if your hair and hormones are connected. It may be worth it to go that direction first.

Does she take direction well, like if you ask her to do something for your hair, will she? Because hinting doesn't work with everyone. I don't know if she does a bad job, or if it's a communication issue. I wish you luck with this.

Your damaged hair is yelling to be taken somewhere else. If you already have a salon you want to use, go there and have a deep conditioning job done. No need to apologize.