T.,
I have three boys and my first had a milk allergy. He thankfully has "grown out of it". Here are some suggestions that worked for us during that difficult time.
His daily meals consisted of oatmeal with brown sugar for breakfast, peanut butter and honey on kosher rye bread for lunch, and grilled/baked/boiled chicken with plain whole wheat pasta or rice for dinner. Also any fresh fruit or vegetable that I could get him to eat. He was on Rice Milk and then Soy milk when we determined he wasn't allergic to that.
Also for breakfast I would make pancakes and waffles from scratch (or you could buy a whole wheat mix -- Hodgins Mill, Aunt Jemima, or Red Mill) and use rice or soy milk instead of cow's milk. The only dairy free syrup I found is Hungry Jack original in the mircrowaveable bottle. It is pareve (read below).
For snacks you have to look at the kosher label on the box to see if there is dairy. It's not always listed as an ingredient. There is usually a K or U in a circle in then beside it a D, DE, or the word Pareve. If there is a D then it contains dairy. DE indicates Dairy Equipment. If it is Pareve, it doesn't contain dairy and was not processed on dairy equipment.
I'm pretty sure Oreos contains dairy.
It takes a lot of time to read the boxes but you'll find some that are pareve. Our son snacked on Allison's graham crackers, Zesta wheat saltine crackers, and ginger snaps (i don't remember the brand). But not all are safe. You have to find the one brand that is pareve.
Also, hotdogs, french fries, and processed chicken nuggets contain dairy.
In addition, you may want to see if your son is allergic to beef. Mine was.
The only fast food restaurant we could find that does not contain dairy in their chicken nuggets or fries is Arbys. Most restaurants post nutrition and food allergen info. The same for restaurants. Here is the link for Arby's. http://www.arbys.com/nutrition/calculator.php#
At restaurants we would request grilled chicken and plain pasta. NO butter. Make sure you tell them not to grill or cook with the butter. They can use a little olive oil.
Even some soy products, such as the ice creams and cheese contain dairy. And creamers and whip that say non-dairy still contain the protein that causes the allergy.
A great resource is the food allergy network.
Also, eating organic foods helps.
Also avoid foods with "natural flavors" (contains dairy) and food dyes, especially yellow #5 and red.
It's frustrating, but honestly it's such a healthy way to eat. I made the mistake of introducing him to all the fun kid snacks once I realized he was growing out of the allergy. Now he doesn't eat all the fruits and vegetables that he used to when he was allergic to all the box stuff! It also helped us to start switching to organic, health food.
If this helped you and you want more info, please feel free to ask me.
C.