(Early) Santa Question

M.-
My son had a child in his class tell him that St. Nick wasn't real. He asked me and my response was just like my mother told me a long time ago, "If you believe he is real, then he is." Hope this helps! :) -A. B

I have a 7, 4, and 1 year old who all believe he is real...I think. I remember the kids in school telling me he was not when I was younger. When I asked my mother she said, "If you don't belive in him, then he will not come." This is where most of my gifts came from, so I never questioned her again. I do remember one year being the oldest and helping out being the Easter bunny, but I did not get as many presents that year. Hope this helps. I hate seeing kids ruin it for others by telling them. L.

We don't tech Santa is real because it was very traumatic for me as a child when I learned the truth. I was very angry at my parents for lying to me. After all aren't we supposed to model an example for our children?
My kids don't miss out on any of the fun, though. It is not different than any other fictional character for my children. They enjoy all the fun, without the confusion and tears when they find out.
If you do Santa, do yourself and your child a favor; please answer them honestly the first time they ask. If you don't, you are only delaying the inevitable!

It sounds like you are Christian, so I will say this only as my personal opinion and not to offend.
Who is omniscient, omnipresent, and the greatest gift-giver?
I don't tell my children that anyone else but God has these qualities. If Santa has these qualities and he is a phony, then are your children going to believe you when you tell them that God has these qualities? Just a thought....

All the best! Liz

I totally agree with Liz and Crystal. We don't do the santa lie around here either. It can be called a game, but it's definitely a lie. I don't want to lie to my son as much as I don't want him to lie to me. I don't feel like I need to lie to my children out of pressure from society. Being different isn't bad- you do what's best for your family. Jesus is the reason for the season and we will focus on Him every Christmas. You can still make a game out of surprising them with gifts- just keep them hidden until Christmas eve, then surprise! The other thing is- I don't get how often the "best" presents come from this make believe guy instead of from the parents who spent their hard-earned money and love to give the gifts. They should get the thanks!!!! I did not like being lied to about santa or the easter bunny or the tooth fairy- I didn't like being lied to at all as a child. Take a poll and ask children (who have found out the truth) how they felt when they learned they were lied to. I've done that and a lot of them were hurt- they're first betrayal in life, and it was done by their parents! Yes, maybe some don't act like they do care or seem to care and good for them, but what about the others?

Hopefull I haven't offended anyone with this post, but if I have, I apologize.
A.

All of mine asked the same question at the same age. I asked them if they really wanted to know. They did, but had one question--would they still get gifts? I said yes, and I told them the story of the legend of St Nicholas and how we in the spirit of giving as he did unselfishly still give gifts to one another today. They also know that we celebrate Christmas as the day acknowledged as Jesus' birthday. We are a christian family and they know the nativity story. I have told them that we also celebrate the birth of Christ by giving gifts to those we love and appreciate just as the Magi gave gifts on that night so long ago. They understood, appreciated my honesty and still enjoy a wonderful Christmas filled with delightful surprises and expected gifts as well.

Your child is in the age where it is hard to get anything past them and that is why this would be the perfect time to tell your child the truth, not only because of this one subject, but many more subjects are going to come up and you want to be the first one that he would hear the truth from. In short, the best time to tell your child the truth is when they start asking.

When my kids were little we played Santa too. When they first starting asking if Santa was real, I heard my husband say, "Of course, he is real." At first I was shocked when he said that---but we kept saying it over the years, whenever they asked (after I found out and bought into his plan).

Finally, when they were older, and we could tell they were highly suspicious, (because they were asking detailed questions and really wanted to know then), I heard my husband say again, "Of course he is real--it is ME!"

Anyone who freely plans and gives surprises to others out of sheer love for them on Christmas morning is Santa. (Just like when God sent us his only son, for the very first Christmas gift).

Their squeals of laughter as they said "Oh, Daddy!!" are a precious memory to all of us---as they added "I KNEW it!!"
This was just a game.

From the beginning we made sure they new the true reason for celebrating Christmas---Jesus birth on earth so God could eventually save us from our sins. They always new that part was true and Santa was a game (but we still play Santa even now that they are grown).

Also there was a real first Santa (St. Nicholas, who was a strong Christian who lived in England and gave to the poor, and from where we got the legend). They have a children's book about this at any Christian bookstore.

End the cycle of lies, and tell kids from birth. Conformity is an injustice to individuality.

This is interesting! My 5 yr. old asked me yesterday, "how can the Easter rabbit be so quiet while hiding the eggs?". She lost a tooth last Jan. & starting asking how did the tooth fairy put the quarters in her basket without her hearing it. *lol* I'd hate to say anything to her in fear of her telling her 3 yr. old sister. So, I'm still playing the game. I'm sorry you're at that point in time. I want them to have their innocense forever!!

I agree with some of the other parents about letting them know about Santa and at the same time it's hard to see them grow up. My children are 10, 8, & 6 and they all believe to some extent, my oldest when she told me this year that she didn't believe I cried but did ask her what she DID believe? She said that she believed what we had told her (along with church) enough about Jesus and his birthday and that it was a holiday for giving and believing in the spirt of goodness!! WOW, our kids are very smart these days, can't get much by them!!! I know that the other two are on the verge but we are still trying to instill the thoughts and spirit of giving to one another. I wish you luck, it's so much harder than I ever thought it would be, you just don't want them to grow up, not just yet!!!

I think the problem with lying to them about Santa and then telling them the truth when they are older will make them question whether Jesus is really real too. Tell them that Santa is just like Goldie Locks or one of the other characters in fairy tales. If you want them to know the true meaning of Christmas tell them and just explain to them that Santa is just a fairy tale. We did that with our children and they are not confused about anything. If we start off lying to them they will wonder when and if they can trust anything we say.

Do I lie to my kids about Santa Claus? YES!!! I do it every year if questioned and I have ZERO guilty feelings about it. It's kind of like if you were throwing a surprise party for a loved one. You'd have to lie to them to pull it off. Right? Would they feel betrayed? Would you lose your relationship with that person? I doubt it!

Participating in the Santa Claus tradition does not have to supercede celebrating JC's b-day. Celebrating JC should be incorporated into everyday life too and if that's being done...
then you don't have to worry about your kids only thinking about Santa on Dec 25th.

Ho Ho Ho!

S.

M., it funny but I remember when my kids were that little, its the little thinks like that , that puts a smile on your face when you think back. I had the same exact thing come up, except my kids were asking about why the boxes raddled there was somthing in them. I was caught by suprise but, I regained my composure and came up with the thought that yes there is something in the box its a rock. I told my kids that Santa had alot of repairs at the North Pole and they dont have alot of rocks up there and that we were helping him out he comes in and exchanges the rocks for their presents, yes I know I told a story but I too made sure they knew the true meaning of christmas but the Santa thing is fun, you cant avoid it forever but as they get older they will find out and know that you were just trying to keep the memory alive as they get older it is easier for them to deal with as children it is a let down but my kids still believe and they are 15 and 13 its the sprit of Santa that they believe in there is a story out there how the gift exchange came about and when I read it to them they understood. but my way of telling them about Santa was my way of keeping them a child just one more year.

tell him yes when he asks, because long ago there was a saint nick, who gave to the children, my son is 15 and that's exactly what he has been told and believe it or not he just realized last yr. that mom and dad are the ones who place the presents under the tree. you can tell him that the santa's at the mall are trying to keep the spirit of christmas alive for saint nick and that is why they are there. we never carried it to the north pole we also said it's the season to believe and that Jesus is the reason. if someone at school says something to him then he will be able to say yes there was a santa and his spirit still lives today. My kids always new that the very special gift on christmas was from santa it wasn't wrapped and it was something they wanted very bad and as they got older their toys got more expensive, so santa left it up to mom and dad to do it for him. this has worked for us and it's not a lie it is the truth. how you embleish it is up to you.

My 8 yo still believes. She had several boys in her 2nd grade class say there's no Santa but she wasn't ready to believe them. Her uncle lives in the North Pole so he helped keeping her believing. I'd like her to believe for as long as possible. I don't think it's lying. She'll eventually figure it out on her own. When her logic matures she'll think about it and know and when she asks, I'll be honest. She has a 3.5 yo brother so she'll have to help make it special for him for as long as possible. They know the real meaning of Christmas, Easter,etc but I don't think it's horrible to believe in fictional characters. The tooth fairy is fun and it makes it easier for the parents to dispose of the lost tooth. How would you feel if the teeth you were so proud of losing were just thrown in the trash. Talk about hurt feelings! I'm all for the fun of childhood. It goes by so fast and these characters make for fond memories. You know your son the best so follow his lead.

Hi M.:

I have three sons: 10, 8, and 14 months. My oldest son has pretty much figured out there is no Santa, except for Mom and Dad. When he started asking about it, I told him, "This is what I know. When you stop believing, he stops coming." I hate lying to your kids this way, but there is so much pressure from society. He knows, but plays along. We also only do stockings from Santa. All other gifts are from Mom and Dad, or other people. This limits the belief that they can ask for ANYTHING from Santa.

Regards,
K.

I have four kids ages 13, 10, 7 & 4. It has helped us a LOT to tell them all (younger ones included) that Santa needs helpers and mom and dad help Santa so he can have a bit of a break. When asked directly if Santa is real or not, we tell them "yes". I don't think of it as lying, because I know Santa quite well! ;) We mainly tell them that because we still want the youngest one to belive! My oldest two know better, but they play along for the younger ones. My 7 year old asks quite a bit because kids at school say things. Some believe and others make fun of those who do. I think she knows, but doesn't want to "know" yet. kwim? She will ask what I think about what so-and-so said. I just return the question to her and see what she thinks about what they say. We just try to let them decide on their own how they believe.

Best of luck!

C.

We believed in Santa when we were little, and my mom even snauck and videotaped him leaving gifts under the tree, walking around looking at family pictures... We were so excited, we showed all of our friends!

I don't remember when we found out the truth, but I never felt hurt or lied too. We also had a very large role in worshipping Jesus for the season (and ALL year as well), and so we never focused on Santa.

I love the family traditions we had with the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, Santa... my father passed away and those memories are so special to us, we still watch his Santa video.

My father wrote a beautiful story called The Littlest Reindeer and it ties the Christmas story, with the reindeer going to worship the baby Jesus. If any of you want a copy, just let me know, I love seeing the two tied together.

Oh, and I think your son will be fine. I like what the other lady's husband said "Of course he's real, he is ME!"
That's perfect!! And technically true!

We also learned all about the Santa Clause type figures from around the world, that is so cool seeing all of the differences and likenesses of them.

HI, Well my daughter was 4 when she asked us that and well this is what we came up with. You try to teach your kids not to lie so we had to tell her the truth, But we also told her not to tell the other kids. she really wanted to know the truth. She also know there is not a tooth fairy and there is no easter bunny. But she wanted to know so we felt that she needed to know from us and not anyone else, I would hate to have my kids say " You lied to me". No I did not lie. and if you did lie thay would just find out in the long run. and that would not be good. Be honest with your kids. Good Luck =)