What helped me was 1) switching my hand soap to the foaming hand soap, and 2) putting "Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Plus Intensive Repair Lotion" on every time after I wash and dry my hands.
I've tried many liquid hand soaps, and some are more irritating than others. When I switched to the foaming hand soap, I noticed a marked improvement. I know Bath and Body works has it, and Dial makes some too. I had bought the Bath and Body works brand, but when it ran out I bought the refill bottle of the Equate Foaming Hand Wash from Walmart and it's been just as good, and much cheaper of course. It doesn't have that heavenly smell like the B&BW brand, but it works nonetheless. I will say that I ran out of the Foaming Hand Wash for a bit and was using the "Naturals" Soft Soap liquid soap for a while and my hands started getting bad again and my knuckles started to crack, but when I switched back to the foaming soap, the dryness got much better and the cracks went away.
In regards to the lotion I use, "Eucerin Dry Skin Therapy Plus Intensive Repair Lotion" is not the cheapest lotion you can buy, but I think it's worth the money myself. I think a 20 oz bottle was around $10 at Wal-mart the last time I bought it, but it has lasted me through 1 1/2 winters.
I read the best time to put on lotion is when your skin is still moist as it helps to retain the moisture in your skin and it keeps the water from completely evaporating, or at least not evaporating as quickly leaving dry chapped skin. I keep a bottle of the Eucerin right next to the sink so every time I wash my hands, it's automatic that I put some on. I didn't find it greasy at all. I've just learned the right amount to put on and just concentrate it on the back of my hands first and so there's not that much left on my palms and it absorbs quickly.
That's what's worked for me anyway. I hope you can find something that gives you some relief as well.
Good luck!