I'm having my 2nd child and I'm considering hiring a doula. When I had my first child I was in my home state and my sister who was fantastic was there to help while I was in Labor. This time around I'm far away from home and I won't have my sister this time. Yes, my husband will be there, but I feel like he doesn't give me the emotional support that I need. I'd like to hire a Doula because I think it's just what I need and want. I would just like to hear everyone else's experiences and opinions good or bad! Thanks all! :)
I have had a doula for both of my pregnancies and I loved it! Doula's have lots of information and insight. My last doula specialized in 2nd time mom's and loved working with the dad. I wanted my husband to be more involved and she was really helpful in getting him involved. She also has 2 children and had great insight on being a second time mom and ideas for my son and the new baby. I would definitely recommend a doula.
OH yes! Hire a doula... it's the one person in the room who will focus solely on YOU. She will help you relax, concentrate, push, be "in the moment", whatever you need. Bring you ice chips, rub your back, turn the music up or down depending on your mood, guard the door so that you can get a little rest between being checked, remind you of the things you wanted or didn't, and just generally be there to help you. And it will free your husband up to experience the birth himself - and to support you in the way he can, without you wanting more/different.
My SIL and my niece would have DIED if her doula wasn't there. I had a friend that is a labor and delivery nurse with me otherwise I would have had one myself!
We used a doula because we planned on natural childbirth. I think the best thing about our experience with her is that I told her my childbirth plan (also brought a copy of it to the hospital and gave it to our nurses) and she helped us stick to it and acted as an advocate on our behalf while we were in the throes of labor. She was our negotiator w/ the nurses/doctors, so to speak. However, in the real thick of things, it was my husband's constant words of encouragement in my ear that got me through the epidural-free birth. Even though I couldn't respond (I was in an excruciating amt. of pain due to the baby being turned weird), his presence alone was all that was needed in that regard. Good luck!
I had a doula and could have gone without her. We were planning to do a natural birth, and, well... that just didn't happen. I guess she was helpful in some aspects but in hindsight all I really needed was my husband. But she was also probably not the best doula - she was nice and ok, but not anything fantastic, also hadn't been doing it for that long. But if you're the kind of person that needs that extra support, go for it. Just do lots of interviewing to find the right fit!
Yes, I think a doula is a great idea. Do check with your OB/GYN practice about it, though--some of them are "old school" and hate having doulas there at the birth..... If you get any flack, consider switching doctors.
Check out the DONA website, and ask among friends in your area for recommendations. Interview at least 3, or more, and go with the one you feel most comfortable with. A doula can be a godsend.
I planned on natural childbirth's w/ both my pregnancies. Had midwives for both. Had a doula only w/ my 2nd.
I planned a waterbirth w/ my 2nd and she was most helpful!
I needed my DH's hands to squeeze the life out of and stay anchored, she helped me stay focused and what not.
If it sounds like a good idea to you I would encourage you to do it.
Having my doula there was like having a friend there.
Congrats!
I'm also wanting a doula for my second birth. I will be having a VBAC homebirth with a Midwife, and my husband has told me he isn't sure if he can mentally/emotionally support me and be what I need while in labor and isn't sure if he can even be there for the actual birth. It's not that he doesn't want to be, he feels he couldn't handle it LOL Thank the Goddess women are as strong as they are!!
I emailed about 7 doulas and ALL wrote back so now I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed about having to call and interview 7 doulas... I'm due late July
Love, love, love my Doula!!
She has attended all three of my births (which were all in the hospital). She was great at coaching Hubby, as well as supporting me and providing tons of ideas for dealing with my labor pains. All three hospital births were vaginal. She knew the system and the doctors and the nurses and was able to keep everyone in the field communicating and focused on me. I could not ask for anything more.
Congrats on the new addition!
~C.
Definitely get a doula. Even with our second baby, my hubby was clueless about how to help. Emotionally he was good, but he just wasn't much help as far as being an advocate for me. I still remember being monitored and him telling me "oh the contraction is still getting stronger - keep breathing". He didn't understand that I could tell that the contraction was getting stronger and that I what i WANTED was for him to tell me when the contraction peaked and help me focus, not how bad it was getting! Even after the 5th time, so finally I told him to shut up or get out if he wasn't going to listen, and he got all offended and hurt!
When we had our third, I had a midwife. It was a huge blessing for us. He could come and go as he pleased, helped to calm our older two kids and explain things to them. And best of all... the midwife was there for me. She held my hand, gave suggestions on positions, soothed my nerves, told people to shut up when i had a tough contraction, ect. All the things I had wanted hubby to do, but he just didn't understand that he needed to or how to.
best wishes and sending good vibes for an easy labor!
