Doula for Baby #2? - Los Angeles,CA

Updated on April 12, 2011
L.L. asks from Los Angeles, CA
7 answers

i'm 30 weeks pregnant with baby #2. our doula was amazing with #1, but i'm on the fence about paying extra money when, from what i hear, labor and delivery will be so much quicker and easier.

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

There is NO guarantee that your second labour will be easier, shorter or even *anything* like your first labour.....just so you know.

What should be more of a deciding factor is, are you more confident and comfortable with the labour and delivery proccess? Is your partner/husband a good source of support?

2 moms found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Eugene on

My first labor I had a midwife--it was about 7 hours and I had to be induced for pre-eclampsia. But, overall the experience was really, really amazing and perfect--but of course painful. The second time there were not nurse-midwives in my new town (and no home births for people with a history pre-eclampia in my state) so I went with a normal doctor and figured I could do it on my own without a doula (because I'm super cheap). So, the good new is: I did--I was a week overdue, but stayed patient and the labor was really, really fast; probably about 3 hours or less of active, painful labor. The bad news was it was really scary, and hard and stressful. My doctor was no help (I didn't realize how terrible doctors are since I didn't have one the first time around). The nurse was new and wasn't used to women who have unmedicated births and my poor partner was in the position on not knowing how to comfort me because he wasn't getting the support of the midwife. It didn't occur to me that I was close to delivering because I had just gotten the hospital and hadn't really had strong contractions before that. So I thought I had many, many hours left to go when the truth was I was very close to delivering. My labor was in many ways textbook and "easy" but I am still somewhat traumatized by it because I felt so scared and alone. My partner and I were strong and bossy and didn't let my doctor perform a C-section (yes, I arrived at the hospital and she suggested a C-section and wasn't joking...she also wouldn't let me eat "just in case.") If I could turn back time I would absolutely, positively hire a doula. I think some of the post-pardum funk I've experienced is tied to the emotional trauma of my birth. And frankly, if you were to look at it on paper my labor/delivery would have seemed "perfect."

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Hartford on

You have a point, there are many women who have run of the mill deliveries without a non-biased expert in the room. Unfortunately, I was not one of them. I had the exact experience that they described in "The Business of Being Born" - a totally unnecessary cesarean (b/c I was forced to remain lying down, given pitocin, yadda yadda yadda). I know several mothers who had wonderful experiences using midwives (cheaper maybe? and sometimes covered under insurance). I hope to have a doula present if I could be so lucky as to find a hospital that permits VBACS. If you do choose to go without - definitely check out the movie.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.S.

answers from Scranton on

It depends on if you feel like you can do it again without the support the doula gave you the first time around. My labor was not that much shorter the second time around. I pushed less, but the contractions were the same! I had someone with my husband and I both times and was glad I did. I needed different support from both of them. Good Luck!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

You might want to consider it anyway. First, there's no guarantee that labor and delivery will be easier with subsequent children-- this is largely anecdotal. Second, a doula will be able to be an extra set of hands during your birthing and afterward. You didn't have a Baby #1 when you were pregnant the first time around to watch after and take care of. If I were to have a second child, I would likely hire a doula, and I didn't have one with my first.

Plus, you still have to heal. You might find that baby #2 has nursing challenges, or you and your husband might want the support. Just some thoughts...

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

My deliveries were SO different! Things happened the second time that never happened with the first. And I've heard the same from other moms. My doula was a good friend, a massage therapist, and overall amazing, and I would have had her there over my squeamish, clueless husband or anyone else any day! When I had to have a csection I actually did have just her and my sister, my husband stayed with our two year old until it was time to meet the baby. I really like the term"non biased expert" because that's what they are, someone to speak for you and be your advocate without the emotion that your husband or a family member might have.

"doulas do it all night long!" :)

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C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My labor and delivery with #2 was way shorter. True, the contractions were the same, but I went from 0-10cm in under 4 hours, and then less than 15 minutes later she was born. (And it could have been faster, but the darn OB had to go get into his scrubs or whatever, so they kept telling me, "Don't push!" Uggggh.) So... I would have been kinda bummed to have paid for a doula, I guess. I think you have to decide what about your doula was the most helpful to you during your first labor/delivery. Was it helpful having someone who knew what to expect, coaching you through the scary/painful stuff? (If so, you have more experience now.) Was it helpful to have her keep your husband from freaking out? LOL (If so, then you may want to hire her this time, too!) Once you have identified what it was that made her presence so helpful, you will be able to decide if you want to have a doula this time. Congrats and good luck!

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