Doing Business with Friends?

Let her know it makes you a little uncomfortable mixing business with friendship, then make it clear she can give you a quote, but you will be seeking other quotes too. If she is a professional, she will understand. Email and fax is okay...but if you insist on mail, they can send you an overnight envelope for like $15 more.

Hi
You could ask her to do a Good Faith Estimate for you and then you can compare it with another lender you feel comfortable with. This was you will compare apples with apples. Be sure you understand what you are getting. Not all lenders are the same. If you can't afford to get into a 2-3yr arm. DON'T DO IT. These are the ones that are getting people in trouble. I only recommand these if the client is going to move in that period of time. It is usually best to keep the relationship in tack, and not do this kind of business. So to recap, do a comparison with a Good Faith Estimate. This is the only true way to know who is giving you the best loan.
I hope this is helpful
anavela

I have been in the real estate industry for 20 years. I was laid off last fall myself.
I have always had a passion for sharing my knowledge with people who I think would appreciate it. Those people are the common everyday lay person who doesn't get a loan every day of the year so you don't know the in's and outs of the industry and usually get taken for alot of money.
From my experience, here's my advice. There's a couple of ways to look at this....First of all, we would all like to help our friends when they are in need. That's what friends are for - right? But in all fairness - you have to look out for yourself and try to get the best deal for you.
If I were you, I'd ask for a good faith estimate for the loan costs based on the loan amount and interest rate that you are wanting from your friend. Tell her you want to take a look at the costs to see if it justifies the expenses.
Then contact a loan officer at your regular bank of your choice and get that person to give you the same information ie: a good faith estimate based on the same loan amount. Compare what the interest rate is on that same loan amount as well as the costs involved.

USUALLY, depending on your credit scores and your work history - a loan officer at a bank can get you a better rate with less costs involved than a mortgage lender.
The reason why? The mortgage company is not the lender - they have to find a lender to loan the money so they are - the middle man - and the middle man wants to get paid for his time as well as anyone else - so there are extra fees. With a little more research, you might have been able to avoid those EXTRA FEES by going directly to the bank who WILL loan the money.
It depends on your particular situation with your work history and credit scores.
Your friend could waive the extra fees involved but I'd say that if she is hurting financially - she wouldn't be able to waive them and make any money herself. That's how she gets paid.
Just check it out and educate yourself on what you are about to jump in and do.
Right now - values are down all over the United States but interest rates are good. If you are looking to get a better rate on your home loan than you have now, be sure that you get at least 1% less on the interest rate than you have now and that you are willing to stay in the house long enough to re-coop the money or it's really not worth it.
Ask alot of questions of both parties (ie: loan officer at the bank and your friend at the mortgage company) about the fees and the market in your area.
There are alot of hungry people out there in the lending industry that will tell you just about anything to get your business. (nothing personal about your friend - just in general) Think about it!!
Be careful!! If you are interested in an honest person's advice to work up a good faith for you, let me know. I have a friend who has lived in the same area for over 30 years, has been a loan officer for 20 years. She talks people out of doing a loan with her if it isn't in their best interest. She has the same passion that I do with wanting to truly help people and educate them about what they are doing. Not make money off of them.

The technology these days is incredible for e-mailing documents with very few problems. It's done all the time. That's really the easy part of the loan process. Good luck!!

I am responding to this because I actually have used someone my husband grew up with twice now, once when I was out of state. Personally, it a was great experience. However, I completely trusted him with ALL of my personal financial history, good and bad. Do you feel comfortable letting your friend having access to that information? Will your friend be discreet and respectful with your information? Do you feel comfortable having this friend know exactly how much debt you have or how much you paid for your house? Those are all of the things that I looked at before I could commit to working with them. For me, it was definitely the right decision, it was easy, and gave me peace of mind that I had someone I could trust to look out for my best interests (which given everything in going on in the industry is important). If you don't feel comfortable using your friend or have uncertainty, at least ask your friend for a referral for someone in your area (the usually get a referral fee at least I think)and be sure to let her know that you don't want to mix friendship and business. I am sure she could understand. OH if you do go with your friend, be sure and mail things with a tracking number, better to be safe knowing where info is. Hope that helps! T.

Hi Jennifer-

My motto is that friends are for friendship and family is for love. Don't mix business with either.

I have done both and have just had problems and it isn't worth the hurt feelings in the long run.

Good luck.
A.

Jennifer, What is it they say about not mixing business with pleasure? Your friend has told you about her financial problems. Offering to do your refi is not ok. Your instincts are valid. What she is doing, whether she knows it or not is akin to emotional blackmail. Please look elsewhere for your financial needs. N.

I tend to make rule of not doing business with friends or family. You should go with your gut feeling. Best wishes in your decision making.

You should always get another quote to make sure you are getting the best deal even if you trust your friend to get you the best deal for your situation. Competition is the best thing for both parties and you will know you are not being taken to the cleaners. You should be getting a good faith estimate and can compare costs.

I am doing a home loan through a friend as well (though they are not close friends). I felt unsure, too, but when I did as you did and just asked hypothetical questions he was so on top of everything that it made me feel a bit better - he was the guy I probably would have chosen anyway. I was up front with him about asking around to 2 other lenders, and when the time came getting his GFE & letting him know I had 2 more that I was comparing (a very important rule; always get 3 bids). When we backed out on one house after inspection, he had no hard feelings and we are now purchasing a house and he's doing an awesome job! Bottom line, in my book, I'm okay with using a friend as long as a) they know I am shopping around from the start, and b) they are at least equal to (or better than) the competition with GFEs, service, knowledge etc. The mail thing, I don't know...but I'm sure you can fax everything he needs...mailing it would make me nervous, too.

In my opinion, I wouldn't do business in that field with a friend. I draw on the side lines and sell my art to friends/family/anonymous. But to me, a loan is something that could cause problems in the long run. It's always a great thing to want to help another in a time of need, but when it comes to something as serious as money, sometimes it's best to be left untouched.
Because of my art, a lot of my paperwork is via email and snail mail. I still get weary. I have had the unfortunate pleasure of working with people close to me and having to disconnect myself due to money issues.
I wouldn't do something that serious with money. That's just my take on it all. You are right to be weary...whether your friend is trustworthy or not. Hope this helps! ~B. :D

Go with whatever your gut tells you.

Don't feel bad about looking for a local mortgage lender to help you. As a bank manager, I know the importance of being able to call on someone in the same zipcode. Yes all of the paperwork can be done via mail, but you would still need a local signing office, local appraisal and there would be fees to have things sent via mail. You can let your friend know that you were inquiring and seeking advice, but would feel better about using someone local. Who knows, maybe she could get a finders fee from a local mortgage lender for a referral.
Good luck.

Do it.
What a better person to arrange your loan than a friend, specially a friend in need.
Even when in the same city, fax are often used for these transactions.
We e-mail and fax purchase and sale contracts for real estate all the time.

J. (mother of 4 grand-mother of 7 - prenatal educator in a family of realtors)

You are correct to have concerns. When in doubt go with your gut. It is understandable that you would want your friend to have the $$$ from your business but business is business and mixing friendship is a sure way to end friendship. I have that almost as a golden rule and my friendships with people have last a lifetime. It's like lending money (better be prepared to GIVE it away instead). Best of luck with this situation and good luck on getting the best rates out there! J. B

We employed the services of a good friend who was a real estate agent to help us sell our house and some property. We felt that it was a huge mistake, and would never mix business and friendship again. We felt that he didn't seem to be working as hard for us as we would have done for another client; as if he had a more casual attitude toward the work he did for us since we were friends. For example, he scheduled an open house, in which everyone in the family had to be away for the entire time (several hours), but then at the last minute he remembered a meeting he had to attend, so he sent his wife in his place, who brought along their two small grandchildren! This seemed so extremely unprofessional to us, and we were very hurt and upset. In addition, he didn't do his research properly on our house and other property and priced them too low, and then when we had a buyer, he acted like he was working for them instead of us; such as trying to insist that we comply with every single demand the buyers wanted concerning alterations to features on the house. We felt that our friend was more concerned with getting his commission than he was with looking out for our best interests, and, though we have never said anything to him about our feelings, this experience did affect our friendship. We were so hurt, but do feel we learned a very valuable lesson about not mixing business and friendship and would never again hire a friend for this kind of situation. Hope this helps, good luck.

Hi Jennifer,
I don't think your being overly cautious. I look at things this way, if I conduct business with a good friend and the deal goes south, I will be angry and forever blame them. That will be the end of the friendship. My suggestion isto look into other lenders and go with whoever gives you the best deal. It's like getting a quote on car repair. Don't go with your friend because their Uncle Vito will give you a good deal, get some comparisons first. My husband and I bought a pellet stove insert three weeks ago. One of the quotes we received was from a company that our good friend works for, and we worked directly with her. It was uncomfortable telling her that I was getting other quotes, but she was very professional and understood. I didn't feel guilty. The end result was we went with her company because they saved us $200 compared to four other stores. I was honest with her right up front and we kept business business. Good luck.
A.

I share your reservations...on both accounts (friends and via mail). My husband and I have purchased several homes over the years, and have had friends approach us about representing us as real estate agents and/or mortgage brokers. We've found it to be a cleaner transaction and friendship if the two are kept separate...especially when we've had to remind our representatives we are the client and need to push to get the service we were promised.

DONT DONT DONT. If something happens with this loan (not even your friends fault), your state laws may not apply. Your state government agencies may not be able to help. Any suits or help you need may require you to go inperson or get a lawyer in another state. This is horribly risky.

So much money is involved how can it not hurt your friendship if something goes wrong even if it is not your friend's fault?

And you already know that she is in financial trouble and may not be inthe best posiion emotionally or any other way to do everything exactly right and in your favor?

DONT DONT DONT!

The pros: you have someone you trust to get you the best deal available. She isn't the bank, so you wouldn't have an ongoing business relationship with her, just the whole loan application process.

The cons: she'll now know EVERYTHING about your financial situation. If that makes you uncomfortable, skip it.

Doing the paperwork by mail is no big deal; I've closed on two different loans long distance. Heck, if you apply directly with someone like Countrywide, you'll be doing business via the internet/fax/mail anyway.

Good luck!

I used to work in the mortgage industry, and I did many loans that were out of state.

However, that being said, everyone has their own comfort level.

Getting a loan through the mail is quite easy, you just mail, fax or email your documents to the processor, and they mail, fax or email everything to you. Many employers now offer w-2's to their employees on line (my DH's does) and you can send it directly. Banks also offer statements online now.

If you are someone who likes to be able to sit down across the table from your originator & ask questions, then this will not work. However, if you can trust her, go for it.

For the friend portion...
That is the tough one. She will have access to all of your financial records, even if only temporarily. This is something that you have to be comfortable with. If you are not, then simply tell her that you don't feel comfortable with that portion of it.

She may be offended that you don't trust her - after all, this is what she does. She looks at people's financial docs every day. OR, she will understand.

Use the excuse that you aren't comfortable with doing a loan through the mail... then it's not "personal" and she has no reason to be offended.

I hope that I have helped a little! I just wanted to let you know that it's not that hard these days to do a "long distance loan" in fact, in many ways it is easier. It all depends on your comfort level.

Being in a business myself, that is based on referrals, I see nothing wrong with supporting your friends and family. However, this is business. So just approach it that way. Mortgages are a very tricky business and be up front with her from the get go-it also is very competitive so you could shop and compare and tell her you are. Be honest as you want her to be honest with you. I do think picking a mortgage rep without any type of referral would be worse,as there are many hidden fees and many bad programs that you could get yourself locked into, if your not careful. Educate yourself and hopefully she will help you.

I think you're smart to be worried...we (and 4 other investors) invested a LARGE sum of money with my husband's best friend (our best man) almost 2 years ago by way of a real estate partnership. As you know, the housing market went down the toilet after that. Although that part was absolutely not our friend's fault and nobody saw it coming, there has been A LOT OF negative feelings between other members of the partnership and our friend because while the rest of us are praying that the market turns around before the partnership has to file bankruptcy and we all lose our money, our friend is driving around a H2, building his dream house and his wife keeps emailing us pictures of new horses she's buying!!!

Doing a home loan is much smaller business transaction but still...I would recommend NOT mixing business and friendship you just never know what could happen and then on top of losing money, you could lose a good friend.

My two cents for what they're worth....

L.

P.S. sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls...married 10 years.

P.S.S. We've done all of our refinances through Quicken Loans and they will do it all by phone, email, etc. They even send a notary to your house at your convenience to sign all the closing documents.

If shes been in the business for a while and knows what shes doing then why not. And if she truly is your friend you can tell her your concerns and she should understand. I say go for it, as long as you know she is a professional.

Hi I also have a friend in the loan business in a different state and we did use her to try to get our loan. I had no problem sending info via fax or email....because it went right into her email address...even the faxes. So no one but her saw it. You might find out how the faxes are recieved and then talk to her about your concerns. If she is a true friend she should understand. Also many companies do business through the mail..even the ones locally still have to send some info out sometimes. Hope this helps and good luck.

Jennifer B,
I think the important thing in any relationship is to be up front about your concerns. I am a realtor and most of my business comes from friends and family. Every once in a while I will have someone not use me because they don't want to do business with a friend. In my business I take great care of all of my customers and have a special vigilance for those I am closest to. Because I know someone more it makes it easier to know just how to get things done in the best way for them. Have the straight conversation with your friend and see how she responds. There is an opportunity here to deepen your friendship. But, if you just go in another direction without saying anything this may speak volumes about who you really "be" in the relationship.
Best wishes,
C.

You've got tons of good advice here, so my 2 cents isn't necessary. (but that doesn't usually stop me) I would let your friend know that you'll be shopping around, and that you appreciate her time. As someone else stated, if she is a true pro, she'll understand. That said, it's a crazy competitive market, and you don't want to lean too heavily on her for advice and then, use all her imparted knowledge to go with the cheapest choice for you. That could harm your friendship, if she thought that you used her to help you get a better deal elsewhere. I have known people in the same business as your friend, and they shared with me the frustration of having someone hound them for info, while deciding to use another source for their loan.
I'm sure whatever you decide, your friendship can be preserved. I don't think your friend is in the wrong for wanting your business. It would be wrong to pressure you, however.
A.

DO NOT DO IT !!!!!!! I had a friend of over 20 years (we grew up together) she was a real estate agent. My husband and I went to sell our house and decided we would use her, she unfortunately did not sell our house within the 6 month contract so we went with someone else at the end. She was furious and we stopped talking for almost 3 years (in that time we both had our 2nd borns which we missed out on sharing with one another). I also regretted having her in our financial business along with everything else that comes with the territory. We have rekindled our friendship since and things are fine but we missed out on on years of our friendship together. My advice, do not do business with friends, have an honest conversation with her and explain she is too good of a friend to lose but you would love to "refer" people to her. Good luck.

-K

I'm a loan processor and I have been working for a broker/loan officer for 3 years, Most of our work is through email, mail and Fax. With all the technology that's pretty standard these days. My Loan officer mostly does her loans for friends or family and we have never had a problem But I truely believe it depends on the friend. If you are having reservations about it then don't do it. Or at least ask her for a good faith estimate first and tell her your shopping for the best rate.

Hey! I was reading this and in my head I was thinking about what happened to my mom! Her and her best friend of 40 years decided to to start a child care center together! Well it fine at first but when it went bell up it sucked! They had such a hard time figuring out who should pay for what and who got what! I think your situation falls under the same rule as never buy a used car from a family member! And although my mom and her friend are still friends, its still awkward and the husbands are still uneasy with it all! but yeah thats just my story! You are no being over cautious in my opinion!

KIM

My husband is in the mortgage business as well. You are NOT being overly cautious. He has done many loans for both friends and family in the past but he has also been told "no". That is part of the job. As a friend, you have the right to say "no" when you feel uneasy about a situation. Imagine if something went wrong... would you want to loose a friend over it? They will be OK without your loan.

That is too bad that he isn't doing well right now. He should re-think his marketing plan if he isn't increasing in business: SOOO many mortgage companies are going out of business and at the same time, houses are still selling (to some degree), so agents have lost their contacts and need people like him. He should market aggressively to Real Estate agents.

Good luck!
J.

My feeling is I'd rather have some of my money go to a friend or family member rather than lining the pocket of a perfect stranger. As long as she is doing the transaction as normal through her place of employment and not on the side... Good Luck!!!

~R.~
www.MomsOfferingMore.com

If you are willing to ask for free advice based on her experiance why would you not be willing to give her the business where she can make money on it too? If you are not willing to do business with her then you should not take advice about it either. You could offer her a fee for the advice with an explination that you are not decided yet and want to check into other avenues. That would allow her to be paid for her expert advice and end any expectations she may have of doing the loan for you and making her commission from it.

Caressa

Jennifer,

You have all the right in the world to be concerned and cautious. Just because we love our friends/family doesn't mean it is always appropriate to use them for business/financial purposes.
My experience: I used a close friends buddy who was a mortgage broker to be my broker for my first home 2yrs ago. He was an awesome guy and we got along just great from the get go, but, he didn't work very hard for me, didn't get back to me as fast as he could have...all because he knew my good friend and thought we were friends. You see where I'm going with this? Now over 2yrs later I have refinanced and I chose not to go with him, he asked why and I told him, went with another company no one there knew me, and boy have they husstled for my business. It's just too competive out there to not see what all your options are. And it's not like we are buying and selling furniture it's a lot of money. So, if you want to see what they have to offer that is fine but always be straight up and say this is business and we are shopping for the best deal. I have also learned with the mortgage industry and especially now with all the craziness it is all about who you know and how long you have been working with lenders cause so many of them have shut their doors.
Also, I totally agree with working with someone face to face...this stuff is hard enough as it is to figure out and then you add the distance, yikes?
It is a hard subject but always go with your gut feeling and be honest.
-Jes

When ever you do serious item like that you need to be cautious, I believe you already told youself, something like that you might want to stick with a company in your area, and let her know how you feel, dealing with money in anyway keep it close very close. It is better not to have friends in that area just in case something goes wrong the friendship with not.

I did mortgages for years, I worked at Chase and at Norwest/Wells Fargo. At those companies I was able to do loans for people in other states and did loans for friends and family. I would say if you trust this person and you must or you wouldn't have asked for advise, there is no reason not to use her. When I moved to Grants Pass and bought my home here I used my friend, I am now looking to refinance and will be using her again. I know for me I would rather have someone I know and trust working on my loan. Just watch your fees and make sure they are resonable. On the other side of the coin some people don't want friends to know that much personal information, if that is the case look for a recommendation from a local friend or check at your local bank.

I have been in this same position with a family member in the mortgage industry. My husband and I were a little nervous about it, but the transaction went smoothly and we are now doing a second refinance through this family member. With the loans now, they can do a lot through email, mail and fax with out any problems. The only potential bad part is your friend will be able to see your financial status (how much you make a year, amount of money in bank accounts, etc. ) If this does not bother you and you feel confident your friend can get you a good rate and close the loan when you need it to, then you should be fine. They can set up the closing with a local title company to have you sign the final closing documents.
Well hope this helps.
Goodluck.

One of my best friends is a Loan Officer and she has done all of our loans, with our first home and the home we are in now. We are actually in the middle of a refinance. I was hesitant at one time for the same reason as you but once I just asked for her help I was so glad that I did.
Because she is my friend she was looking out for our best interest and answered any and every question my husband and I had. I was a Loan Processor for a couple of years before I became a Stay at Home Mom and know it is very possible for her do do it all long distance. She is your friend and can use your help as much as you could use hers right now by the sounds of it.
I think that if you have someone else you are thinking of using then tell her and get two Good Faith Estimates and let her know if the other one is better, if the bank she works for will allow her then she can beat and compete with the other institution you are using. Good LUck in whatever you decide buying a home is a huge purchase. Which is what made me always realize why not use a friend someone that cares for you and your best interest.

Jennifer,

I can see how the idea of doing business with such a close friend could be a cause of concern for you. I would think about what kind of relationship you have and whether or not you think that you and your friend could separate the business matters from the personal. My best friends' husband is a real estate agent and we used him to sell our home when we moved from the midwest back to Washington. The whole situation worked out well for both parties in the end, however I found it difficult to confront him when I had questions or concerns about how he was handling things. I did however, feel that throughout the entire transaction he was truly looking to get us the best deal possible because we were friends. I don't know if I would have made the decision to work with him on our mortgage. A mortgage involves A LOT of private financial information. Is this friend someone with whom you have already discussed this type of thing with? If not, you better be prepared to disclose it all. That includes the good, the bad and the ugly. How will you feel around this friend after she knows all of your personal financial information? One good thing is that since your loan officer would be your friend you should be assured that she is truly looking out for your best interest not only at her "bottom line".
As for doing your mortgage via the fax/mail. I wouldn't worry about that. I have done that in the past and I feel it was perfectly safe.
I don't think you are being overly cautious. A mortgage is a huge financial decision and you want it to be the right one. Plus, it sounds like this friendship is very important to you. You should excercise a lot of caution because either way you chose, you could potentially change your friendship. If you go with this friend and things don't go well it could cause you to be angry with her. If you don't choose to go with her it could upset her. I would talk to her about it now and let her know you and your husband are seriously discussing what would be the best decision for your family and for your friendship. In the end if you chose to use her I would lay out the guidelines in the beginning. If you choose not to use her, I would tell her that you decided that your friendship is so important to you that you don't want to risk it by mixing in business.

Good luck!

M. B.

There is no such thing as over cautious. We have had good and bad luck with friends. Just read over everything to make sure you are getting the deal you think you are getting. If it isn't what you want tell her that you changed your mind or tell her to fix your concerns. She is a professional and should be used to this.

Good Luck
C.

I think doing business with a true professional is what is important. If your friend does this full time and is a professional lender (doesn't do it on the side to make some extra cash) then it is a great idea. Who better to take care of your needs than your friend. Would you trust a stranger more? If she truly is a good friend then she will know there is a lot riding on this interaction- if you are happy then you will be sure to sing her praises and maybe refer others to her. Ask all the questions you need and see what her responses are. If she is a professional, she will surely answer with great information. Last case resort...Trust your instincts!
Warm Regards,
H. Hurst

I've done mortgage business with the mother of a friend. It was great b/c I could call her at home with questions and it was very easy to work with her. However, I would be overly cautious about doing that kind of business by mail or fax. It seems like chances for identity theft would increase. I understand that it would be hard and you don't want to cause hurt feelings. Maybe telling your friend that you've decided to use a local mortgage broker. That you feel it would be easier and feel comfort in being able to work with someone face to face. I know it's not much help, but I definatley would not send mortgage correspondence via mail for fax.

Getting a home loan through her is not the same as doing business with a friend, because once she gets your paperwork done, your loan is sold to a bank. You will not be paying her your mortgage. It really is no more risky than getting it anywhere else. Second, doing it through mail is not a big deal either because you just need to understand the conditions (ie. the interest rate). If you really want to get out of it anyway, then find out what rate she can get you and tell her you found a lower one somewhere else. It would be dumb to go with a higher interest rate for such a large purchase just for a favor, and she knows that.

In a nutshell, yes, I think you are being overly cautious.

Hi! I have been in the mortgage industry for over 20 years, and can assure you that doing business via mail, e-mail and fax is perfectly secure. Your friend would have to be able to do loans in the state where you live in order to help you.

The larger issue is your friendship. Sometimes, your friends will look out for you much better than a stranger in terms of a home loan - they really have your best interest at heart, and will not overcharge you in fees, or in higher rates.

But, if you are not comfortable sharing your personal financial information with her, then don't do this.

I really think you would be doing your friend a huge favor.
we purchased a home in AZ and did the paperwk. via email,phone and fax.
you would have to have a fax tho. we were happy with our transaction.

good Luck!
from tacoma

Most home loans are done via fax nowadays, so that's not out of the ordinary at all. If you'd like to use your friend, make sure you get at least 2 other GFEs, and only go with your friends if they are truly giving you the best deal. If they don't understand that, then they are being unreasonable.

We currently have our house listed with a good friend who's a realtor. She's sold our last 2 houses for us and has done a great job. Yes, there's a little bit of a feeling of obligation (what if the house doesn't sell and we want to go with a different realtor?), but she's very professional and I know she'd understand.

Make sure your friends know this is a business transaction and that you will be treating it as such. If they're ok with that, then go for it, but if they're acting like it's a "friend thing" I'd be very cautious.

You are going to pay someone to to do the loan. It might as give the business to a friend. Do not expect any preffered treatment with regards to discounts and all will be fine. As for doing a loan from another state, no problem. I have done many loans from clients in other states and found it can sometimes be easier for the client.

Your friend will give the terms of the loan and if you feel you can get a better deal somewhere else move on at least your friend will know you gave them an opportunity for their business. If they are professional they will completely understand.

Good luck!

S.

I have just gone through something similiar. She wasn't a friend but a friend of a friend. The company had great mortagage plans so I did use the company but went thru a branch where she didn't work. These days lots of things are done on-line and as one who still straddles the 20th and 21st century, I was OK with doing all of our mortgage paperwork thru email. Make sure it's a company that you are comfortable with and has a solid reputation.

The quickest way to lose a friend is to mix business with friendship. Although in many instances it can work, everyone needs to the have the same understanding and have plenty of paperwork. In this instance there are so many mortgage companies that you can go to. If you are truly uncomfortable explain this to you friend and hope she understands, after all, she is going to be privy to ALL of your financial information. May be this isn't something you want to share with this friend, that's fine. There's no rule book that says we must share every facet of our lives with all of our friends. Personally, I would not do this. There are so many mortgage companies available.
Trust your gut! E.

I am real estate broker and I can say that the best thing you can do for your friend is help them by supporting them in there bussiness and if they are good friends who more would you want looking out for you than a friend. Of course you will want the best deal and I find that when I do busssiness with starngers by the end of it we have become friends! Are they true friends?
S.... Remax Integrity

I have been loan officer in the past, and 1 thing I can tell you is that home loans can be tricky and things do go wrong with them. That could be a very delicate situation with friends. If your instinct is not to do business with friends or through the mail, listen.

I think if you have any inclination to actually work with your friend, you should just tell her these concerns, very openly and honestly. Tell her what you're possibly worried about, and ask her what she feels would happen "if" there were any problems, issues, etc.

Also, maybe ask another person who you trust about whether or not it's a good idea to do this kind of thing via mail. I think with technology the way it is, it might not be a problem, but you always need to make sure that you "read the fine print", and know with some certainty what you're signing, etc.

I would say that if all those things work out to your satisfaction, and if you don't have any lingering reservations, it might be OK. But don't feel pressured into it, it's a big deal.

Just try to be honest and respectful, with yourself and with your friend. And listen to your gut instincts.

My husband and I feel the same - we rairly do any business with friends to preserve our friendships and keep business business. Having friends have access to very sensitive personal financial info could cause issues that may not be aparent upfront. I'd explain this to her in a way that assures her that her friendship is paramount and that as a rule you and your husband do not do personal business with friends. The via mail part I would be less concerned with...we just did an entire mortgage & refinance on 2nd home and it all was done electronically or via fed ex with our local mortgage broker until final signing papers were needed.