Doing a Day @ the Spa, Should We Offer to Pay for the Bride?

Updated on November 12, 2009
M.R. asks from San Antonio, TX
19 answers

Thanks for all the great advice

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So What Happened?

The wedding is finally here and we are going to have a great time and I will enjoy myself because I deserve it:)

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V.D.

answers from Austin on

If this was her idea then I would not feel obligated to pay for her spa day. But, if this was the bridal party's idea then I think it is appropriate for you all to chip in a split the cost.

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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

Yes, I would split the cost. Talk to the others and see if they agree. One person picking up bride's charges probably not impossible, but would be better to split and make the others feel just as involved. Sometimes others feel left out, as if they are not contributing, if someone picks up the tab.

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N.S.

answers from Houston on

I think a gift to the bride of a day at the spa would be a nice surprise. Talk to the other girls and see what they think - if they agree to split it 3 ways do it - if they don't, you should.

You grew up together and it appears the bride cares enough about you to ask you to take on the role as her matron of honor (over the SIL). You're right - it's one day / one time - and she'll probably treasure the memory forever.

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N.D.

answers from Houston on

I think that would be a lovely gesture, but only if you could split it up between all of you!! Even if you are the only one that wants to contribute, you could get a gift card in the amount that would have been your part just to give her something special.

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

I would split the cost of you can afford it

1 mom found this helpful
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S.O.

answers from San Antonio on

I would just mention it to the other two. Say that you're considering paying for the spa treatment for the bride and you didn't want to leave them out if they wanted to and could contribute. Mention what it would cost to split it 3 ways, but offer the fact that if they just can't afford it you understand. Then, if you pay for it yourself, fine for the bride to know privately. But, if the others contribute, even if not equally, or one and not the other, I wouldn't make an issue of it. Just tell the bride that you guys have taken care of the expense. No details necessary. And, enjoy the fact that her expense is taken care of eve if you don't the credit.

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B.M.

answers from Waco on

Ask the other 2 if they're willing to chip in and if not, if it's in your budget, then treat your friend.

Have a wonderful relaxing time!

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

see if all the girls want to pitch in on paying for her. they might not all be able to pay equal amnouts so you might have to pick up the difference and too keep the peace i would not discuss how much each of you payed. just tell her that its been paid and enjoy the day. congrats to her.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

I agree that it would be a nice gesture for the bridal party to pay for the bride no matter what the circumstances are, however especially if it was the bridal parties' idea to do this and not the bride's. If it were her idea I would think it was ok to let her pay for herself but if not then I would definitely think the bridesmaids should pay for her.

Have fun!
K.

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi MAC
What a good friend. you are. A day at the spa for the bride and her bridal party is a great idea. You should all pitch in- I would include the mother of the bride and the prospective MIL-- give the bride the "cafeteria plan" and you should all pitch in for that- then each other person should pay for their own- that way they can choose what they will spend on themselves.....ie massage, pedicure- facial etc....
My girls and daughter in laws- and even my grand daughters did this for one of my birthdays- they all gave me the works and then each of them chose what they wanted- it was a wonderful day and a great gift.
good luck and blessings

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N.R.

answers from Houston on

when i got married i had 2 friends take to get my toes and fingers done...but it was at a higher end spa place they split the bill but it was a surprise for me...I had no idea what they were doing...if she knows about it and has help plan the day then I would say its okay not to pay for her but if you and the other bridesmaids can afford to split her bill i would say that it would be a nice gesture! Good luck!

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

I think it's completely appropriate for you all to split the cost for the bride if y'all have planned it (if she had planned it, then I would say she or her mother can pay for her). Email the other ladies and decide on it beforehand, but I see no reason why you can't split it. I've never heard that it was the responsibility of ONLY the matron of honor to cover that cost! But if this is something y'all have planned for her/y'all, then yes, it would be nice for y'all to cover her.

Good luck and have fun!

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

If you are all doing this as a gift to the bride, then all of you should chip in and split the cost. But if you are just going to go, then the bride should pay for herself.

J.B.

answers from Houston on

I think splitting it between you guys would be perfect if everyone has the funds. I was taken by a friend for a mani/pedi and I really enjoyed the special treatment:)

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M.P.

answers from Houston on

Yea- I agreed with all of them..

I gave my friend a bachelorette party a day spa and her own dinner and drinks at the restaurant with the girlfiends couple years ago.. It was AWESOME!!!!! We paid our own spa plus split others for the bride day spa. I asked girlfriends if they are willing to split the costs.. They were so exciting and happy to join and help me out!!

Let them tell you how much they are willing to split with you. You will have to find the package that match the budget. If its over, you might have to pay the different. If you have money leftover- treat her out to dinner and drinks afterwards.

Good luck and have FUN!!!!!!:)

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L.W.

answers from Austin on

I ditto both of the responders so far. They are nice gestures.

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S.G.

answers from New York on

Hi - I own a mobile spa party company so we work with bridal and bachlorette spas all the time. 99% of the time, the wedding party and/or the family cover the cost for the bride as a gift to her. We have also had the bride cover the cost of getting hair, make or nails as a thank you for being in her wedding. Best thing to do is talk to the other party givers and see if they want to chip in to cover her costs - or tell her we have covered a massage plus tip for you - then if she wants more than that, she can cover those fees. Good luck and HAVE FUN it's great way to enjoy a shower - wish it was such a popular option when I was getting married! SO much better than male dancers - LOL!

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M.F.

answers from El Paso on

Ok since she doesn't want a bridal shower, all of you should consider this your bridal shower gift to her.

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B.R.

answers from San Antonio on

I think between all of you it would very nice of you to split it. If you are stretched to think then just get a gift card of what you can afford and then she can pay for the balance. Maybe you pay $15 or $20 and whatever the other girls can put on there helps as well.

As a wedding planner that is normally what all the girls do they want to do the spa thing. The most affordable place I send them to is the San Antonio School of Massage it is wonderful. The prices are amazing and they have it all. Check into that spa and see if it works out cheaper!
Good Luck!

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