Doesn't Want to Go to Pre K Anymore

Handle it unemotionally. He's going, move it along. If you have to force dress him, do it silently. No reaction, no extra attention, no deals.

When you try to bribe/cajole littles into doing something they have to do anyway, it will eventually backfire. It reinforces poor behavior and they start doing it to manipulate you.

What kid DOESN'T want to sleep in?
Not just pre-school - I'm talking about through college.

Stop trying to negotiate - school is non-negotiable.
If he undresses himself before school than take him as he is and dress him at school.
Heck - it's pre-school - so what if he goes in his pajamas
or he goes to bed in the school clothes for the next day so he doesn't have to change in the morning?
Don't tell him you've had/done anything fun while he was away.
Always make it sound like HE had all the fun and you wish YOU could go to school again.
If he doesn't want to wake up in the morning then set an earlier bedtime - make sure he's getting enough sleep so waking up is possible.
Also - if he ever has to stay home sick - don't make it fun to be home.
If he's home sick he stays in bed and sleeps, no tv till his usual time after he would get home from school.

I had one who cried and clung to me at drop off, and then cried when I picked him up (loved being there and having great time).

I agree with B - don't negotiate. You don't want to get into that :)

I always tried to make mornings fun - mine were allowed to bring a little stuffy in the car with them, morning snack, whatever it took .. to ease the transition.

The biggest thing I found was don't rush mornings if you can. The more rushed you are, the more stressed they get. So I set the alarm 1/2 hour earlier and we just took our time. And I didn't just drop and go with my clinger - I spent a minute talking to the other moms or teacher, and let him adjust a bit. Knowing I was still there, he'd wander in and a teacher or another child would go over to him. Depends on your own kid .. but mine did better if I acted like it wasn't a big deal to drop him.

Good luck :)

It is called spring fever.

Maybe you are asking the wrong question. Unless you work and you need him to go, perhaps your question should be, why the heck do we put our kids in PreK anyways?
In full disclosure, I don't believe in early academics and that all things taught in preK and even K for that matter are best taught and easily taught at home.
I really think all this time spent with peers early on is not good for kids. Studies are showing that prechooled kids are far more interested in pleasing their peers than their parents. Not sure why we all think we can't handle our childrens' early education and hand if off to others. Its about counting to 10, holding a pencil, cutting with scissors, and learning your letter sounds. Seriously, we wake our kids up early and cart them off for that? Help me. The world is crazy. Except Finland. They don't start academics until age 7 and have a 100% literacy rate and a 98% graduation rate.

-------
I've been doing some digging and research on this subject and brain development is best achieved with lots of physical activity instead of mental academics at this age. Hanging upside down for example is critical to a child's brain. So why not meet his needs for social interaction with his need for physical activity. Like a gymnastics class.

Talk to his teachers. Find out if he's having trouble transitioning in the mornings, if there is a problem with another child, or anything else going on. I also explained to my DD that we paid for preschool and going to school was important and her "job" just like I had a job. Or we focused on things like seeing her friends, doing crafts and stories, etc.

If my DD undressed herself in the AM she would either go to school in pjs with stinky breath, etc. or she would "owe" me the time I wasted that morning redressing her. If he sleeps in a diaper, can you try underjams or good nights? Things that encourage him toward being a big boy? In that vein, does he balk at "big boy" things? At one point my DD did not want to be a "big girl" so I started pointing out the things she could do that her cousin could not yet. If he won't potty at home, then I would ditch the diapers except for nighttime (different ballgame) and just make a statement that you know he can so you're going to give him big boy underpants (whatever he likes) and just clean up (or help him do so) when he has an accident. Make it matter of fact. My DD hated having to clean up and I just said, "If you don't want to miss your cartoon, you'll go potty on time like a big girl. It takes longer to pee in your pants and have to clean up, doesn't it?"

I would also make sure he's not overtired and has enough transitional time in the morning. I would not allow cartoons or anything he wouldn't want to leave and encourage independence with things like choosing clothing and lunch. Give him control on other parts of his day that are not "not going to school".

If he doesn't have to go, don't make him.

We all know the benefits of preschool socialization for the youngsters but it's not necessary for all of them & he won't be harmed from not going, promise.

does he have to? i mean do you work, or COULD he stay home?
i don't think it's 'caving' to keep a tiny 3 year old fellow home if he's this distressed about pre-school. it's not actually pre-K yet, right? if he's not particularly verbal or potty-trained i hope he's in a play-based daycare center.
but the only reason my 3 year olds went anywhere was because i had to put 'em somewhere. whatever benefits are conveyed are effectively canceled out by the distress. let him grow up a little more.
khairete
S.

Several things that stand out to me.

Please take him to the class and leave. Do not stay and "comfort" him. Do you have any idea how much worse that makes this situation? Not only does it interfere with the classroom it's harder on him because he has you where he wants you. Under his control. If he cried you stay and stay and stay. That's not what you want.

You call him a toddler. Toddlers toddle, that means they're learning to walk or toddle around. Once they are walking and doing well they are pre-school age. Toddlers implies taking a bottle and eating baby food and wearing diapers all the time and not being cognitively able to process things. So you might want to think in terms of he's growing up and isn't a baby anymore. I know you want to keep him as your little one for as long as possible but he needs you to help him through this stage and he needs you to give him the confidence to move forward and not regress to infancy or being a toddler anymore.

The more you focus on this and converse with him about it the more he's going to get set in his mind what he's saying. He might get over this a whole lot sooner if you make sure he's safe them drop it. If he continues to say things just make sure he's okay but don't make it sound like if he tells you he's getting hurt or something you'll keep him home.

You need to make sure he understands that going to school is his job and even if he doesn't want to go he has to go to his job just like you and fiance. Everyone has their job.

You can't make him want to go. School is his job right now. Your his mama and you decided to send him to school so that's the end of the discussion. Have him pick out his clothes the night before so that's not another battle in the morning and then just stay on top of him in the morning to get up, dress, eat, groom, and out the door.

If he'll use the potty at school then he can use the potty at home too. Get rid of those diapers because now you need to send the message that he's a big boy who goes to school and used the potty. He's not a baby. Stop babying him.

I'm curious how old he is. You say Pre-K, but also that he doesn't talk much and isn't potty trained. Pre-K is typically 4 year old preschool, as in right before kindergarten. If he's truly in Pre-K, he sounds as if he may be dealing with some speech delays at the very least that could be prompting his reluctance to go to school.

Don't make deals with a kid who doesn't want to do what he's supposed to do. He's not going to Target or playing video games or riding his bike if he stays home from school. School is school.

If he gets undressed, take him there in his pajamas - I promise that will only happen once. Show him you mean business and he doesn't get to bargain for everything or get a treat if he complies with the basic rules. Get him to bed on time and up on time for a certain amount of procrastinating - it's completely typical. But he's holding you hostage to the schedule and you can't allow that.

I agree with not pushing the potty training. He's on the road to getting it, and it's fine.

I'd stop with all the reassuring that "you love school" - that's not his problem. His problem is he doesn't transition well from one thing to the next - from home to school, from breakfast to getting dressed, etc. So don't delay his "must do" list in the morning - stick to priorities. He gets up, gets dressed, eats breakfast, gets his backpack ready, etc. If there is still time, then he can read a book or do a puzzle - anything that can be stopped in the middle, but no TV shows that don't end in time for him to avoid being late. If there is any early drop-off or other activities for 15 minutes as kids are arriving, get him there on the early side instead of waiting for the last minute and stressing about being late.

As a teacher I may be biased, but I think it's really important to go, especially if he's not talking well and you need help with socializing potty training.
I would work on the drop off by having a plan. It's hard on both of you when you don't know what to do (do I give extra hugs? Stay and watch? Drop and go?) he'll try all techniques because he also doesn't know what you're going to do and if he'll be able to get you to change your mind. So tell him exactly how it's going to go( we'll watch curious George, get dressed, drive there, stop at the door, one kiss and mommy leaves for example) then do it. Or maybe fiancé can. If it makes you feel better you can have a longer transition plan, like you stay all day, then half day, and work up to your goal of quick drop off. But don't negotiate it while you're both distressed.
It's hard because his emotions are real and he is feeling some overwhelming fear or something and I know how hard it is to leave your child like that. But hanging around can prolong it. Some kids are more anxious than others but they all adjust and predictability helps.and you seem confident that he is safe and happy there.
On the otherhand, I should mention that my son went through a period like this and I think there was a problem with the school. But first he was comfortable and then became unwilling to go. After we changed schools he was okay again although I'm still not certain what the problem was.
One thing that I've seen work well is a friendship. If you can have a play date with a kid he likes that would really help. The. He can look forward to seeing the friend at school, and hopefully that friend can ease the transition. As a teacher I've used a prefered as a buddy (like ask the child to go invite the crying friend to join whatever activity) and as a parent too (oh look x is playing with blocks! Awesome to join him!)

My son does this all the time, and he's 8. School is not negotiable, so he knows he has to get up and go. It's the summer activities that get him. "I don't want to go to camp. VBS is boring. Why do I have to play baseball?" Seriously? You'd think we were making him to boot camp or something.

Our son is not a morning person. Doesn't matter what the activity is (well, Christmas or birthday presents might get him out of bed), he's not interested. His pillow and blanket are just too comfy.

My husband started calling it "morning brain." This is that time in the morning when your brain isn't awake enough to realize that whatever you're getting up to do ... it's worth it.

He does know that not going to school is not an option!!! He still has trouble getting out of bed, but he knows he has to. I would try backing off. Don't talk about it so much. Don't try to talk him into it. Those things are not really going to influence him. Just be pleasant and very matter-of-fact. "It's time to get up and get dressed." "We're getting in the car to drive to school." He does like school. He does want to go. He might say he doesn't but he does. So you don't have to convince him. You just have to learn to ignore his words when he has "morning brain."