Does Your Husband Ever Do Any of the Planning?

I plan everything. Absolutely everything. I make him pack his bags, he even wants me to do that, haha

Have a great trip

Yep, I'm the planner but I like it that way. If my husband did it, it would be equally "keystone cops".

We basically talk about what we are going to do. Like this summer we were going to go to CA and hit some amusement parks. But then I started crunching numbers and we decided to do another cruise with the kids over Fall Break since it was less money than CA and 50% less than if we went during peak season in summer.

I usually come up with the "ideas" and then run it by him to get his input. Then if he agrees, I make all the arrangements and do most of the planning. I talk to him throughout the process if it's something I think he has an opinion on.

I don't think I would be comfortable just waiting around until it was time to leave on vacation to find out where we were going. I would like to buy some new things and make sure I had everything. I don't think that would be cool with me. I don't think I've ever known anyone who does that frankly. I would be completely stressed out. lol

I'm wondering WHY he doesn't tell you until the last minute? I mean how much effort does it take to say, hey, we are going to Hawaii the first week of August so get ready!

When we were dating my husband took me on a spontaneous date. I had on sandals and he ended up driving to Flagstaff where the snow was (about 3 hours from us). Luckily he thought to throw our ski jackets in the back of the car but forgot about our footwear. So we have pics in the snow with our "snow sandals" on...totally memorable and had a good time but it was a little on the "crazy" side!

I usually do the actual legwork (hotels, flights/rental cars, Airbnb lately) but we always decide ahead of time as a family where we will go, when and what we will do and see. We have a lot of fun actually talking about it, I thought all families did it this way (?) but I guess not.
I'd be pretty pissed if it was five days out and I had no clue where I was going and how to start getting the kids and myself ready...I'd also be pissed if he was buying last minute sky high airline tickets or something.
As far as your clients why do you need to tell them anything other than I'll be on vacation between dates Y and Z?

We worked together very closely with planning. We planned everything together and each one of us knew what was going on. We were always a team and were always planning (some people might think we were anal and I guess you could say we were... ) from our company, our family, finances, etc.

We planned destinations together and I did all of the securing airlines, hotels, rental cars, etc.

We had very tight and ongoing communication throughout our marriage.

My mister anal plans it all. Made all reservations, bought snacks, planned and cooked meals, arranged for the pets and mail etx

Pretty much i packed myself and the kids and smiled and nodded over the activities he planned.

It's just easier to let him than to listen to any complaints if I make a mistake or forget something.

We are currently halfway through our 2 week tour of the mid west and he has done an excellent job.

I can choose to feel useless and incompetent or I can choose to enjoy my kids having fun.

It does sound like next time if you are a better planner than your hubby he needs to gracefully bow out of the planning and let you have it.

Good luck it's hard.

Updated

My mister anal plans it all. Made all reservations, bought snacks, planned and cooked meals, arranged for the pets and mail etx

Pretty much i packed myself and the kids and smiled and nodded over the activities he planned.

It's just easier to let him than to listen to any complaints if I make a mistake or forget something.

We are currently halfway through our 2 week tour of the mid west and he has done an excellent job.

I can choose to feel useless and incompetent or I can choose to enjoy my kids having fun.

It does sound like next time if you are a better planner than your hubby he needs to gracefully bow out of the planning and let you have it.

Good luck it's hard.

Yes. Since marriage, my husband has lost the ability too plan. In fairness, I kind of like to be in charge as I'm more picky. Of course I get his buy in on where and when though. I would just make the plan myself now if I were you.

You have an interesting marriage. Regardless of who made the plans (I usually planned local trips, he planned the bigger, and international trips) we always talked about where we wanted to go ahead of time, and talked about it with the kids too. It was a family conversation and a source of excitement and anticipation. We made sure we got the flights and hotels and show tickets we wanted.
How can you even start packing not knowing where you are going? What does HE have to say? Don't you guys talk?

I think you and your husband have different ideas of what "planning" means. To him, it may mean selecting a destination and making a hotel reservation, then packing a toothbrush and some underwear. He figures you'll do everything else, right? To you, it maybe means getting the laundry done, packing suitcases for yourself and your kids, and maybe for him, arranging for travel supplies (for en route and for when you arrive), stopping the mail/paper, arranging for plant/animal care and getting the trash taken out and setting the lights on timers.

Unless this is a control issue and he's just not sharing anything on purpose, you need to pin him down. If you know your departure date, you only need your return date in order to notify clients you'll be on vacation. Clients don't need to know where you are going. Just take one day onto each end of the vacation to give you client-free days to pack and unpack.

I don't understand why you are waiting for your husband to volunteer the info. I'd sit him down with a list of what has to be done, and ask him how much of it he's taking on if he doesn't give you enough time.

My husband usually spends time on line looking at, say, beach house rentals and then he shows me his best recommendations. He has a detailed packing list for himself on his computer and follows it carefully. I still have to set one of those up, but I cheat and look at his for ideas on what I've forgotten! I have a "house chore" list that lists everything that needs to be done as a "community" (everyone initials when they've done a particular chore), and I handle my own packing. I used to handle most of my son's stuff when he was younger. My husband has been the laundry-doer for years, and he's great at stacking up neatly folded piles of tee-shirts, shorts, beach towels and so on. We're both good at packing the car. I'm better at finding a neighborhood kid to get the mail and put out/bring in trash on garbage day or water flowers. He's better at checking that windows are closed/locked, making sure we have water bottles for the car and so on. We divvy it up, and we talk a lot.

I suggest that this happens because your personalities are different. I'm a wait til the last minute sort of person. One of my friends plans every detail in advance. Her suitcase is packed a few days in advance. This works for us because we don't live together.

I see my daughter angry at her husband because he doesn't plan. Her anger made increased the amount of drama. When feelings are left to simmer working together is difficult. Some of the chaos.is caused by how we feel about what is happening.

Since your husband's way of planning causes stress for you, I suggest you do the tasks that need to be done ahead.of time. Let your husband off the hook. Talk together about how to change the dynamics between you. Make plans differently.

My parents nearly always got into a fight while packing the car for vacation. My mother thought my father was lacking in some way. Reality was that their expectations were different. Trips would have been more fun if they had dealt with their feelings before planning for the trip.

Did he make a plan and refuses to tell you anything about it? Or did he neglect to make a plan at all?

My husband is perfectly capable of planning his own stuff, but anything that includes me is something I need to be involved in. I am a natural planner and prefer an organized approach. I do not enjoy being surprised.

This year, I planned our vacation 10+ weeks in advance. I promptly made reservations. I also have a folder with the resort's and surrounding local information, as well as detailed packing lists so when the time comes I will check things off and not forget anything.

My husband is involved/informed. As soon as the dates were set, he put in for time off from work. If he waited until the week before, the days off may have been denied.

I usually create a flexible itinerary of options. Not so much a set schedule as a visual list of possibilities. On our last big vacation, I had a Plan A and a Plan B. As it turned out, I had to go to the imaginary Plan C, because our hotel caught fire mid-trip and we had to go home early. Heh. Sometimes you have no choice but to roll with what is thrown at you.

If this always happens, then you know exactly what to expect.
Have a bag packed loosely prepared for everything and buy what ever else you need when you get there.
You know you leave in 5 days?
Do you know when you get back?
Then all your clients need to know is that you will be unavailable for x nbr of days.

We discuss together but I make the reservations except airline. We went to Europe in May. I made all the hotel and apartment reservations. I planned all the excursions and activities. He made the airline reservations. It works because I'm a planner and control freak in regards to vacation. =) BUT for some reason I HATE making the airline reservations. =)

No, he does not do planning. he did once plan dinners out for us on a weekend getaway, but I do everything but pack the car when we go on holiday.

Why don't you ask him? Or plan together like most couples? Why do your clients need to know where you're going?

We plan together. Although I did most of the planning for packing and stuff for our trip this year, at least for the plane. We ordered food to be delivered to our condo together. Usually we go to the same place every year and drive there, but this year his mom wanted to do a whole family trip so she planned where we were staying and whatnot. I did find the fun family things to do there, but only because I didn't want to spend all of my time at the beach.

I would NEVER be able to stand for him to make plans for a big family trip that I didn't know about weeks in advance, let alone 5 days! I want to look forward to something and plan things out. But then, the husband and I are both schedule oriented, plan everything out people. We don't micromanage the trip down to the last minute, but when we went to Sanibel I said I wanted to see a dolphin, go to the museum, eat ice cream at a specific place, go to a couple of specific restaurants, and go to the wildlife preserve, but I didn't care what day or order we went in. That worked out well for us.

We talk as a family for a few months about where we would like to go for our big vacation each year, and then I plan and book everything. I like it that way.

I plan smaller trips, too. If my husband is going somewhere without me (which is unusual, but does happen), he does the planning himself and does fine.

We divide and conquer.
We choose the location and length of the vacation together. He takes care of hotel, flights, and rental car. I plan everything to do once we get there and do most of the packing. We have a shared outlook calendar, and we both put all the details on the calendar as we make them (eg, flight numbers, days we have specific outings scheduled, etc) so we both know the plan.

I can't imagine not knowing the destination! For me, part of the excitement of vacation is researching the destination and deciding what fun things we'll see and do once we are there. If I didn't know where we were going, that would take part of the fun out of it for me.

Just tell your clients that you'll be gone for a week. It's not their business where you are going. Pack some general things for you and the kids. Then let him surprise you.

I've had both kinds of vacations. Ones that have been planned to a T. Vacations that we got the plane tickets a week and a half before leaving and hotel reservations 3 days before getting on the plane. Honestly, we had as good a time on that vacation as we have on the super planned ones.

Let him deal with the keystone cop craziness. You just get ready to leave and don't sweat the rest. It's part of his job being the planner this time...

dh does the planning. i am a sahm mom and tend to be able to go wherever whenever. dh has a job and is often on call he is also the one that has to figure out when hes allower to take a vacation. he is also in charge of the finances so he does all the planning. he consults me on locations, and i am with him when hes picking out the accomodations. once i know where were going and how long were going to be gone i plan the meals and do all the rest, packing and snacks and figure out if were eating in the hotel or out at restaurants. i also plan out who is going to take care of the animals (chickens, bird, dogs and fish) and i walk them thru the routine on that (my chickens lay at different times and if you interrupt one laying they will be cranky for a while so you gotta plan it right so no chicken is interrupted.)
i am also the planner for the birthdays and holidays that we have to host. i do it all for that and consult dh for his opinion.
so we both plan, but he does the major stuff

I do all the vacation planning. I plan transportation, reservations, meals and budget. I get his available dates from him prior to starting. I will check with him to see if he approves of the plan before I make it concrete. I can not imagine letting him do the planning! If it is 5 days away and you haven't got the agenda yet I would take over and do it myself! Yikes!

We plan family trips together but my husband does the leg work in terms of hotels and restaurants.

Have a great trip!

Wow, I didn't think husbands had that capability. Boy am I surprised, I thought it was more of the same category as how they can't carry and birth a baby or lactate?