Does Anyone Else Not Have a Hobby?

Updated on March 29, 2011
A.F. asks from Columbus, OH
29 answers

My birthday is coming up this month. My husband asked me the other day what I wanted for my birthday and Christmas. I said I would like to take a photography class, a pregnancy yoga class or get some new comfy clothes. He said, That’s it? People are asking what to get you. I said, well, gift cards are always good. Then last night he said he’s having a hard time telling people what to get me. Then he says, You don’t have any hobbies. What are you interested in? You really need to find something you like to do. I joked and said, I like to shop! He was straight faced, it was obvious he was serious. It actually hurt my feelings but he’s right. I don’t have a hobby. There are things I would like to do like the photography class or pregnancy yoga I mentioned but we have three kids and one on the way. I don’t exactly have a ton of time to do anything I want. Although I know I could take a class once a week while he’s home with the kids. My kids have been my life for the last 7 years when my daughter was born and prior to that I helped out a lot with my nieces and nephews. I’ve never focused on me. I don’t even know where to begin to do that.

So, this has me wanting to change that. Also, I’m wondering if I’m the only one without a hobby? If you have one, what do you like to do?

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Photography is a hobby. Yoga is a hobby. And BOTH require "schtuff" / have things that go along with them.

Assuming digital photography:
- Memory cards
- Editing software
- Memory sticks
- Photo paper
- Lenses
- Flashes
- Books (both how-to type books as well as well as other people's works) / magazines
- Frames
- Mattes

Optional
- Museum tickets
- gallery showings
- etc

Yoga:
- Mats
- Clothes
- DVDs
- Class punch cards

But for myself : Photography, Snowboarding, Sailing, Horsebackriding, Travel.

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K.U.

answers from Dallas on

I'm so glad you asked this-my husband and I just has the exact same conversation. My oldest is 7 and my twins are 1, so I can relate! I'm interested to see what other will answer since I don't have any hobbies either :)

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B.B.

answers from Dallas on

My son, is 18 months. I am the type of person, where I HAVE to take part, in a hobby. There are so many woman out there, that love and want nothing else, then to be a mother. Some woman just don't have a desire, for hobbies. My mother, is like that. Her hobby was being a mom. Now her hobby, is being a grandmother. That's what makes her happy. I am not like that. If I don't have something separate to accomplish, something else to help define me, something else to give me a creative outlet...I just don't feel as happy and fulfilled, as I could. I really need to have a separate accomplishment, from my child. Where I am more then a mom. It doesn't mean I would rather have a hobby, then my child. Not even close! I I just simply can't spend my days as "mom" and nothing else. Lots of woman can and love to. It's just not me.

There is nothing wrong with not having a hobby, if you are content and fulfilled without one!! My hobbies are card making, jewelry making, and sewing. I also love photography. I'm fortunate, in coming from a family of photographers. There is no shortage of cameras and equipment! It is a very expensive hobby, but a very rewarding one.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Ask them to give you "coupons" for time away from the kids, so you can go and explore some hobbies (or just go walk the mall or go the Barnes & Nobles & read a book & have a coffee in peace. :) And/or, if anything strikes your fancy--for example, you always wanted to try rock climbing, ask them for a gift certificate to a rock climbing gym. If you need ideas for "crafts," take a look at the class schedules for JoAnns, Hobby Lobby, and/or Michael's, then check & see if gift cards for those stores can be applied to class fees, and ask for those.

I have lots of things that I'd love to have time to do, but right now, most of t is sitting in the closet, packed away.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I'm giggling! Right now you have a family and a home to take care of, and there are only 24 hours in a day (oh, you've noticed?).

A hobby is, by definition, a pursuit outside one's regular occupation, engaged in particularly for relaxation. So your hobby right now could be breathing!

Hobbies are great for other people to know about when gift-giving times come. That's probably the reason your husband brought it up.

Feel free to tell him that the closest thing to a pursuit for relaxation right now is your desire to learn more about photography, and as your children grow older you may want to pursue it more. Help him out (men NEED help in this!) by suggesting a couple of other gift ideas - maybe a pedicure? You know that sooner or later you won't be able to reach your feet. Think of some practical things that will make you happy. Assure him that in about ten years he'll probably be saying you have too many hobbies!

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

If you count reading and going to the gym a hobby - yeah, I have one - LOL!
There is plenty of time for "hobbies" once your kids are older. I think photography is an excellent hobby and one that you and your family will benefit from greatly.
Give him ideas on the photography class, you will need a camera, different lenses, a tripod, case for camera,photo editing software (if digital) classes and maybe even coupon book for babysitting days to go out and take pictures, etc.
It is a pricy hobby and family members can get you gift cards to a local photo shop for equipment or even to ebay/amazon so you can get things online.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and yes, sometimes kids are all you can handle. Maybe explain that in a very kind way to your hubby:)

3 moms found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

I just learned to engrave on glass and metal. Having a blast making birthday and Christmas presents. I will be able to turn this into a business going to wine store and department stores.
Victoria

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

My life is so jam-packed right now between working full time, taking care of two kids under the age of 4, and trying to get decent sleep that I really don't have many hobbies or things I do consider to be hobbies would not be what most people might think of as hobbies. About all I have time for is strength training and exercising as hobbies (what gift do you give for that? LOL) and *maybe* doing a jigsaw puzzle or Sudoku. About once a week I take my magazines to Corner Bakery or Panera and spend a few hours there, eating dinner and catching up on reading - I LOVE being alone and having this time for myself. Other than that, I don't do a whole lot and you know what? I'm okay with it - I feel fairly relaxed and am able to de-stress so it's all good!

So don't worry...you're not alone in not having some big spectacular hobby that sounds super cool :)

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Nope, you're not the only one. If you count reading as a hobby, that's mine. It seems like when I do have spare time, that's what I most want to do. My other "hobby" would be meeting up with friends for lunch.

I think that not havng a hobby is okay - so don't sweat it!

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

I am in the same boat as M.R, not alot of time for hobbies.
Working full time (45 mins to an hour drive each way), mother of a constantly moving 19 month old boy, and a 8 yr old who is in karate, basketball, cub scouts, baseball, & football typically with one to three of those activities overlapping several seasons of the year! I used to LOVE to read and decided to starting making time for MYSELF. I asked my husband for a Kindle for Christmas and he let me order it early. I can take it wherever I go and have a little ME time while at sports/activities practices.

2 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

OMG! My BF hounds me all the time to get a hobby... in my eyes, hobbies cost money, and I'd rather spend that money on the family instead of on myself. It's not a bad thing to not really want anything for yourself ;) If people are dead set on getting something for you, ask them to donate to your favorite charity or put that money towards your kids college fund. If you truly want to take some kind of classes, you could always ask them to put money towards that. I'm the same way, every year, my parents ask what I would like for Christmas, and I always say 'money for the oil tank'... and I never get it ;) I'm more practical than materialistic! I can't help it. I would rather the mney be spent on the greater good (my family) than on myself...

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

maybe you should redefine the word 'hobby' as 'interests.' i'm not a crafty person ::::::::::shudders:::::::::::::::::: so some would say i don't have hobbies.
i've got my ponies, who are too work intensive and dang expensive to classify as hobbies!
but if you like to read, or have a favorite tv series that you follow, or like to lie out under the stars and gaze dreamily at them, or walk in the forest, or bum around the beach, or read aloud at a retirement home, or arrange your spices in alphabetical order, any of those could be classified as a hobby if you keep the definition loose.
you SHOULD focus on yourself sometimes. it's healthy. it makes you better at taking care of your family. go take that class.
what do you do to unwind? if you had a week free from all responsibilities, what would you do? that should start you in the right direction.
khairete
S.

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M.P.

answers from Lafayette on

i haven't read the other answers, but i don't have a hobby to speak of. my daughter is my life. i do spend a deal of time on the computer, but i don't consider that a hobby really. it does bother me that i don't have a hobby, but i wouldn't even know where to start to form a hobby. good luck

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A.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

It sounds like the "hobby" you were interested in is photography. I agree, I don't have a hobby because I don't have time for a hobby. It would be nice to take some kind of art or craft class, when I'm in a store like Michaels, I see tons of things I would like to dive into, but I work full time with a long commute, and I travel for my job. When I'm home, it's hard enough to find time for meals together and quality time with my daughter. My personal interests have been put on hold for so long they don't exist anymore.

I say take one of the classes you mentioned, and have people give you gifts toward that (even if it's something like a commitment to watch your kids one night a month so that you can pursue these interests more easily). You haven't been focussing on yourself, but you mentioned 2 potential hobbies to your husband. People could get you a yoga mat, clothes, and a DVD. They could get you a printer and photo paper, toner, software for editing photos, etc. for your interest in photography. Yes, you will learn more from a class, but you can still enjoy both of these things without one.

Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't have a hobby either. I would have said something similar for gifts, I never know what I want. So no you are not alone.

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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would have said the same thing-shopping!! If there is anything that I like to do as much as the people with a true hobby it is shop. And honestly I really don't know many people (well..moms) with a hobby other than exercise if that can even be considered as one.

The year that I was 39 I started a huge self improvement campaign...one part was to find a hobby. I tried things like tennis, pottery, weight lifting. But honestly-my heart wasn't really in it. I think if you are naturally drawn to something right now-then maybe pursuit that. Like the photo class-it sounds like you are interested in that. There will come a time in your life when you will have the luxury of choosing a "hobby" and dedicating time in pursuit of it. Now-with soon to be 4 kids to care for-any free time that you have should be spent on something you genuinely want to do. So shop if you want!!!

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A.F.

answers from Miami on

HI I. ;-)

You will love your life even more when you begin to take care of yourself by shining the light of focus on YOU for just a little bit :-)

You mention hobby, and most people go for projects and such, but basically, a hobby is doing ANYTHING that brings you great pleasure, for yourself!

You mention that already you have a "way" to do something, as your husband will watch the children one day a week, so why not investigate the two ideas you have already brought up? The pregnancy yoga is a good idea as it is something you can continue.. "for yourself".. once this new one is born. The photography sounds like a great idea too, as it is something you can do for the rest of your life! Taking pictures is REALLY fun! And since you have such a wonderful connection with your husband and family, then there are so many things one could get you, related to photography!

My daughter is presently preparing for her SOLO exhibition during Art Basel week in Miami. Her show is called: Las Caras Perdidas: The Lost Faces. It is a show of the many faces of children she has visited in her travels in Equador. You could begin with a theme if you like and go from there.. you could be the "block photographer" and begin taking photos of all the other children.. how fun!

I'm focusing on photography, because you brought it up... and that is the true way to look at things, what bubbles up from the heart.. so why not just GO for it and see what unfolds!

hugs,
A. R.N., Energy Medicine Practitioner

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E.G.

answers from Jackson on

I don't have a hobby unless you count taking care of the house. Even before I had a baby I just would prefer to relax. There are only so many hours in the day. My husband is always get a hobby but only he has time to have a hobby. I just try and get things done that need too.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

I didn't have much going on for hobbies either - I worked all the time, then became a mom 3 years ago, and am still working full-time. Not much time for hobbies and not much energy either! Then I saw a bead store had opened up near us and they held jewelry making classes. I tried it out and I've been hooked ever since. I've made a bunch of pieces for myself as well as for friends and family as gifts, and have also managed to sell some of what I've made, including special requests that some people wanted. I have really enjoyed it because it is a good creative outlet. A few of my friends have gotten into beading as well, some others are into knitting, and some do scrapbooking.

My mom was never one for any hobbies - even after we were grown and gone and she retired, she still just preferred to go shopping, or play cards or go out to eat with friends. On the other hand, my aunt got into painting after she retired. At some point you might find you have more time on your hands and will need something to keep you occupied. It's kinda funny in a weird way, but when my mom passed away this past summer, my brother and I had to come up with an obituary, and what the priest could say about her. They asked if she belonged to any clubs - nope. Did she do volunteer work - nope. Did she have any hobbies - umm, not really, unless you count shopping (and boy could she shop!). God bless her, it might have been nice to see her get involved in something, but then again, she was happy the way she was, she already felt fulfilled, she didn't need anything else (of course, we think she may have had a shopping addiction and some compulsive behavior issues in that regard, but that is another story!).

If you are interested in photography or yoga, that's a fine place to start. Just tell hubby that you are trying to get into a hobby and that's what you are interested in. And if he is willing to pitch in and watch the kids more (not that he isn't already), it will give you more time to pursue it.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I know a bot of how you feel. My life is my daughter. I've never really be very good at much other than childcare and when she came along I just felt so good inside. I finally had a passion.

I do have a few hobbies. I also have a bit of a pull for photography. I'm the one in charge of pictures on vacations and update pictures for our families of our daughter. My husband even bought me a really good camera as a birthday present. You don't have to go to exotic locals and take show stopping images. Just get a good camera and take pictures of your kids. Photo's of Motherhood! Take that class. You have a delivery in your future, take pictures of that if you can. It might be interesting to see pictures from the soon to be mother's point of view.

I also paint miniatures. Mostly fantasy figures that my husband uses for his gaming. It's a good way to blend our hobbies together. I also enjoy playing with him, it helps keep us connected, gives us something to talk about besides our daughter.

I also love to read, though not really a hobby, but it's a gift idea for my husband. I usually stick to series books so I can be on the look out for the next one to be published once I finish one. Sort of like a collecting hobby.

My Mom's an E-bay seller, she actually working with some local crafters in Alaska, getting them on E-bay themselves or selling their things for them for a bit of a fee.

My husband's recently picked up guitar lessons.

Find something that isn't house work or potty training, something you can pull away from after a hour and feel ready to go again. It can be anything.

Good luck!!

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I love to read and do whenever I can. I also decided I needed a hobby and decided to make those beaded stretchy bracelets. So I have been buying stuff and I made one so far. My intention is to get good at it and expand to necklaces, earings and bracelets. And maybe give them away as gifts. I wouldn't worry too much about it...you are a busy girl!!!

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M.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Great question! I love to run. Love it. It's invigorating, stress-releaving and clears my mind. unfortunately, with two little ones and a couple of classes and the winter time change I can't find the time. It's great that you are doing some soul searching. You will find your hobby, even if it is shopping. :)

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L.H.

answers from Dayton on

What wonderful replies you have received. I never had time for hobbies until my divorce and one day my cousin sent me an invitation to a Stampin Up party (card making and scrapbook stuff) and I went. I have to say that I really enjoyed it and forgot what 'being creative' was. I now have 4 kids and although I don't always have a lot of time, I still work on cards and scrapbooking when I can. I love taking pictures and putting it all together. As my kids get older I an encorporate them in my projects and they help. It is something that they love and I can hang out with them.

So my best advise to you, is do what makes you happy (photography class sounds wonderful) and try and make some time every week to do it. And have a Happy Birthday and Christmas! As for gift ideas - I love Riley's list!

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L.T.

answers from Houston on

Well, I'm a hobby addict so I have the opposite problem! Riley J. had some great suggestions related to the interests you've already mentions. I think sometimes people have a hard time giving you $$ for a class rather than something tangible but maybe you can point out that photography and yoga will help you develop those hobbies (and yes, they can both be considered hobbies). Along the photography idea...what about a photo editing program like Adobe or you can even get into digital scrapbooking (there are TONS of sites/services for this). I have a tendancy to try lots of new things but usually it's craft related but I also count cooking and reading as my hobbies! Good luck!

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

When my daughter was born my husband told me I should find a hobby. I didn't know what to do, I was used to having a career, working outside the home. I started swimming but got too many sinus infections from the indoor pool, I took a painting class but I just was not passionate about painting. Then I found the art of stained glass. I fell in love! It has been a source of sanity for me. When my son died, it provided such comfort to me because I could loose myself in it. After doing stained glass for 10+ years as a hobby I started making 3d mosaic instruments. I am now going to start to try to sell them and I just got my own website showcasing my work. It is funny how things turn out, I have a Masters Degree in Business Admin. But now I am a glass artist. I think you are so lucky to have a husband like mine who supports you finding a hobby. I hope it turns into a passion for you and brings you as much joy as my hobby as brought to me. Good Luck!

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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

My hubby tells me the same thing to get a hobby every time I do there is no time for it I took up scrapbooking now theres literally thousands of dollars wasted on the stuff I don't use.I'll be selling those items soon.I really need to take up walking again I would love to join a gym there are many things I want to do.Doing a few crafts here & there helps.

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C.H.

answers from Cleveland on

You don't need a hobby for gift ideas......how about a note saying they will watch your children so you and your husband can have a date night. A trip to the spa for a haircut, manicure or pedicure. Those are things that you might like or want to do, not necessarily a hobby, but who cares! What about a family membership to a zoo or history museum somewhere you can take the children. Good Luck!!!

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I turned my hobby into my business, which means I do what I love everday, but now struggle to move away from it when I need to relax. As you say, there are alot of things I'd like to do, but being a single Mum running a business there is very little time. I'm hoping moving closer to the beach will help me to pursue my interests, which I'll also be able to include my son and dog.
I'm sure you will find many other Mums, who feel the same and would like to make that change.

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Last time I checked photography is a hobby. I like movies....maybe some DVDs, magazine subscriptions. I don't hve great hobbies...movies, eating, shopping...

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