Before having kids I worked like any normal person. I had responsibilities and deadlines, had to wake up to get to work on time, and also got rewarded for a job well done (not any more - but lots and lots of smiles, hugs, laughter and love which make anyday worth it!). I've stayed at home since having my first and all of my day revolved around him, and we'd have a blast. I'd get to laundry eventually, cleaned up when I needed, go out to the store/shops/downtown for errands when I wanted (toting him along, of course).
Now I have two boys (ages 2 1/2 and 5 months) and am finding it hard to manage my household, and to go to the grocery store with two is a riot!. You'd think (and my husband does - so do I) "You're home all day. You have time here and there. Knock out a load of laundry, finish that project, get those 1000's of pictures off your camera before you lose them all!!" I feel like I'm lost in a neverending to-do list.
How do I stream line this?? I used to be effecient (sp?), I used to be quick, I used to drag my butt out of bed earlier! I just want to be able to balance boys and home, have fun with them and get work done with out losing my mind and dashing around the house at 4:30 to achieve it all. *** I'm not trying to be a perfect, can do it all, June Cleaver housewife.*** Just need to prioritize, schedule it, and stick with it!! ANY SUGGESTIONS??? What do you do?
Thank you everyone for some great ideas. These last couple days I've gotten up earlier and knocked a few items out. My 2 yo is in preschool now so besides going to music together and spending quality time with the new one, I'll use that time for errands and shopping. I've made a LIST. Actually 2. One of little things for the week and one of my big September projects. That in it's self feels like an accomplishment!! Yay!!
Also, hubby is great. He is a tremendous help and I do get a few girls nights or a spa during the month. And my boys are on pretty regular schedule, it's just the procastination and overwhelmed feelings during the day.
I think all of you have brought awesome perspectives for each person's senario. Thank you thank you!!
-- Jess
flylady.net. The site can help you develop and stick to a schedule, and it let's you feel okay if you don't get to it...try again tomorrow.
I am not a stay at home mom, i work full time and my husband works 2nd shift so it is just me and the kids during the week. I have a 3yo and a 5 mo old. Im up at 5am, shower and get ready. Get the kids up by 6 and get them dressed, feed the dog and head out the door by 6:15 to go to daycare and work. I get home around 5 and make supper quick and do the dishes. Usually have it done around 5:30 or so. Feed the baby and go outside to play and go outside till 6 or so, then we come in and we eat supper while my 3yo watches cartoons. then we do baths mon, wed and either fri or sat nights. My 5mo old goes to bed by around 7 and then i play with my 3yo till 7:30 and then we brush teeth and read books and he is in bed by 8. Then i work on laundry after that and finish picking up the house. I save most of the cleaning for the weekends when i have a bit more time, and do all the grocery shopping on the weekends as well. Usually after church. It is very busy and i really dont get much time to myself, but it works for now. it is tricky to get on a scheduale sometimes, but it is nice once you do. Good luck!!
I hear ya! I am a SAHM to a 4-1/2 year old son and 3 year old daughter. My son is in preschool everyday from 11 to 2. I get up and get ready before everyone else is up. I make a list each morning of what I want to complete that day (cleaning, phone calls, errands, etc). I've learned that following a list keeps me on track. I (try) to clean a different room each day. I usually do at least one load of laundry per day. I vacuum at least every-other day (we have 3 dogs so this is a must). I do major grocery shopping on the weekends when my husband is home. If I have to go to the store for something, I go with my daughter after taking my son to preschool. I am constantly picking up throughout the day so the house doesn't look like a tornado hit it!
Honestly, making a list has been the most helpful for me. It keeps me focused on what I need to get done and leaves time to play with my kids and check e-mails, etc.
Best of luck!!
The simple answer is, don't try and do it all. Pick one thing to do a day and get that done. Then let the rest of the day come as it may. The list looks huge when you take it in all at once so don't do that. List them in the order from most important to least and check one thing off every day or every two days depending on how things go. As you see your list get checked off you'll feel a sense of accomplishment. I like to put easy things on the list too, sprinkled in with some harder chores. Like every fifth chore will be a doozie but the ones leading up will be simple. I keep my list on the fridge next to a big red pen. Scratching a fat red line through a list item is oh so satisfying.
When you get to the bottom of the list, make a new list. Also, if you find you did something that wasn't on the list, like "cleaned up huge orange juice spill", write that on the list and then put a line through it. It's good for the soul.
Also, as far as going out and doing the shopping have you thought about going after your husband comes home from work so you don't have to drag the kids out and be under more stress than is necessary? The safeway near me stays open 24 hours a day so I don't have to worry about how late I shop and I love going kid free so I have time to hold up two things to compare without having to listen to whining or watch for quick little hands trying to reach over and pull something into the cart.
I have dinner ready by the time he walks in the door on a night I want to go shopping (about once a week) and we sit down for a quick meal. When I'm through I'll kiss everyone and head out the door to shop. When I get back things are quiet and calm. Kid is in bed and he's on the computer playing a game. Food is put away. He'll come help me move the groceries inside and I'll put them all away while he goes back upstairs to play online with his friends.
Things are much different now since he's been laid off and we're both home and fretting but I'm talking about how things were before the ax fell.
I have a 2.5 year old and a 8 month old. Our day looks something like this:
*up at 5 or 6 (depending on baby), check email, put in a load of laundry (every other day I do all the laundry in the house)
*Breakfast, kids play while clean up/do 15 minutes housework
*Put baby to bed
*spend 15 minutes playing with toddler/Clean/make baby food while baby sleep
*Go do something fun out of the house
*Lunch
*Naps
*Have a giant cup of tea to keep going! and check email- MY 10 minutes
*Work on laundry/cleaning/dinner prep
* Errands and/or fun thing with kids
*Dinner
*finish laundry, put diapers in wash (I use cloth diapers)
I've found that i can keep on top of the house if I spend 30-45 minutes every morning cleaning. So I literally dust a different room every day, etc. I then vacuum every other day the main part of the house (kitchen/living room/main bathroom/hallway). I then have my mom take the toddler once a month so I can "deep clean" anything that is getting out of control.
Hi there! I feel your pain. I often look at my friends who only have one child and think, "wow that looks like a BREEZE!". I have two boys as well - 1.5 and 3. It is a crazy chaotic life we lead, but I do try to have a schedule and stick to it. I also work from home, which adds another interesting (and stressful) twist.
With your little one only 5 months old, it is still normal that you are working things out and trying to adjust to being a mom of two. Soon, you will be able to better predict a regular morning and afternoon nap, and can try to pencil some things to get done.
What we do is set aside the morning as "kid time", which means I play with both my kids (and get them breakfast and dressed), then I put my baby down for his nap around 10 am. With just my 3 year old awake, I concentrate on playing games with him that are pre-school focused and that my 1 year old would not be interested in or good at yet. We do a lot of painting, alphabet games, board games, play-doh, counting, etc.
After lunch I try to get my errands done with both kids awake and rested and fed. It can get tricky to run errands with both kids, but you'll find you can hit your groove with a little practice. I find treats and snacks always help at the grocery store! And you don't need to expect perfection.....it won't always go smoothly, but try your best!
In the afternoon I time my 1 year old's naptime with my 3 year old's "quiet time", and I use that time to either work, or get my housework done. I won't lie - I sometimes sneak in some "me" time if I can, but more often than not this is my time to fold laundry, vacuume, make sure dishes are caught up, clean bathrooms, etc. It's amazing what you can accomplish in 2 hours!
After naps, I try to start dinner while the boys play. And by then my husband is usually walking in the door!
I hope this helps. I wouldn't stress too much b/c you are still in a transition period, and it will take some time to get used to your new situation. Having two is hard! I am 15 weeks pregnant with my third and I'm terrified that now that I finally have a system down, I'm going to throw a wrench in everything with my new one coming :)
Good luck!
K
I only have one kid- my daughter is 16 months old, but I do take her to work with me half days, where I do graphic design work. Looking back to this time last year, taking care of her as an infant seems ridiculously easy- but the busier she gets, the busier I get too! It sounds like you are the kind of mom that spends a lot of time with the kids -- really focusing on them and doing things with them. I now know that this is a full-time job. My neighbor raised 2 kids (who are delightful people) gave me some great advice last year: "You will have plenty of time in the future to clean your house, but the precious moments to play with your small children are short!"
When I get stressed out about a messy house, I try to keep this in mind. The other tips I can offer are:
Take a bit of time to yourself for something that you enjoy, assuming your husband will help entertain the tots for a bit... a short bike ride, read a book or magazine, chat on the phone with a pal, something like that.
Also, hopefully your kids are on a schedule themselves so that they go to bed at the same time each night- those couple of hours after my daughter goes to bed are precious to me to get things organized for the next day- we go to bed with a clean kitchen and a plan for the next morning.
I also have toy storage in each room so that I can scurry around and pick up the house in like 5 minutes.
I wish you good luck!
Right there with ya, J.! I have two girls the exact ages of your boys. I JUST started doing what Julie does, I clean different rooms on different days. That way it's quick because it's just one room and it was just done a week ago. I try to do a load of laundry every day and vacuume at least every other day (we have a dog). I also get up before everyone else to check computer, brush my teeth, get dressed, wash last minute bottles etc. from night before, get my day's worth of formula made and ready, toddler's breakfast on her plate and THEN I get them up. I've found it makes my day run much smoother if I can get these few things done ahead of time. As for the grocery store...my toddler is beginning Mother's Day Out next week and I will grocery shop with the baby during that time. Until then, my poor husband is doing the grocery shopping on Saturday mornings. =)
Have a routine.
I am a SAHM, home with my now 4 year old boy and a daughter who is 7 and goes to school.
I am ALWAYS busy.
I have a routine. Daily.
I wake up before everyone else... I do the laundry, wash the dishes, make breakfast and coffee, get myself ready, check my e-mail... before everyone wakes up.
Then, I also prep dinner (I make weekly menus) and/or cook dinner already in the morning. I also run errands in the morning after my daughter goes to school. Then I do my activities with my son.
Then he naps.
If not he naps in the afternoon.
But he always naps. Everyday.
I clean house everyday. I mop/vacuum once a week. I do laundry 2-3 times a week.
I do my things/work/pay bills etc., when kids are napping or sleeping.
I also have daily lists... of what I need to do.
Yes it is very busy. Always.
And it is not a cake walk.
Your Husband needs to realize that.
We Moms, 'work' 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with NO break.
So... you also need to tell your Husband, that he HAS to ALSO baby-sit, so you can go out and do whatever you want to relax and have your own time. Once he is home... he is a part of the family and household too and is a Dad too and a Husband. THAT means... being a PARTICIPANT in it. Just because a Mom is a SAHM and a Husband works, does NOT mean, he is then "exempt" from doing anything at home. Thinking that the Husband is 'exempt' from doing household and child rearing responsibilities.. .is a cop-out. He is STILL a part of the family. And that entails responsibilities. Too.
Have a "Daddy Do-List" for your Husband too. For things HE needs to do, too. That is what I do.
Otherwise, the man will just not do anything. Which is not fair.
A few times, my Husband told me "Why are you so busy? You're just home with the kids..." SO.. I tallied up and wrote down what I do EVERY SINGLE DAY from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep. And then I showed it to him. Also how long each one took. He... was surprised.
And, I told him... while HE is home after work just relaxing... I am STILL working... I get NO break.
all the best,
Susan
I've been in a similiar situation. I got inspired by the website, flylady.net. I do just three things and it's made life so much more comfortable.
1. The easiest little thing that works for me is to set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes, pick a task and go at it. I've found that, often, I can actually get several things done and crossed off the list. I do this at least once per day, often more.
2. Another tip that helped was doing one load of laundry each day, completely: wash dry and fold.
3. The last is to "shine my sink" every night-- which means that the sink is empty, dishwasher is running, and the rest of the kitchen is reasonably clean.
Oh and my husband or I do all of the grocery shopping on Sunday (TJ's, Costco, farmer's market) and hardly ever go midweek. I don't waste time making extra trips and our son can stay home if needed since it's the weekend.
Best of luck!
J. ~
Look up this website: www.FlyLady.net. You will find that you can do anything in 15 minutes and you will be able to keep a schedule. (Order the calendar - it's a life saver).
Lucy B.
Flylady.com I use my outlook extensively for scheduling chores, shopping, etc with her help. Use a timer and do a 15 minutes on (working)/15 minutes off (resting/playing) approach. Also, find out when the elementary school starts and pretend that you have to get your oldest to school by that time. That will give you a time to set your alarm clock by and get your day going at. DON'T take the kids shopping. Leave them with Dad and tell him that this is your "Me time". Lastly, don't beat yourself up about it and realize that the first month of building any habit is the hardest.
