Do You Constantly Check up on Your Spouse or Check in via Cellphone?

No. We do usually call or email each other once a day to say hello. Usually it's an email. But not always.

No - my husband works and I don't bug him at work. If we see each other on IM, sometimes we'll say hi. If something is up, I call. I don't get the constant texting unless it's the first few years of marriage.

No we dont, sometimes we try usually one of us tries to call or text the other and he or I doesnt notice, or have phone, life is too short and we are too busy, we see each other every night!

When your husband NEVER calls when late (even if it just so happens to be 30 hours late... much less say 5 or 10hours)....

When he comes home saying "No thanks I already ate." after cooking for 3 hours, but if you DON'T cook gets his feelings hurt...

When he doesn't answer the 40 calls you've left him because you broke down on the side of the road taking your child to the ER, then in a cab to the ER, then a friend is driving you and your stitched up child out to jump your car, but answers on the first ring for EVERYONE else (tested, many times... because answering when your wife calls isn't "manly"/ means you're whipped)...

When you only get 5 hours notice about a black tie function because "Oh yeah, honey, I forgot... that's not going to be a problem, right?", or that you're hosting a dinner party for 50-75 people the next night UNLESS you check their phone for clues as to the upcoming schedule for the week...

Then you can pass judgement.

Some people are married to jerks. Some people are married to WONDERFUL people who are just forgetful as all get out. It doesn't sound like you're married to either. For those of us married to jerks or to amazing people with no short term memory...

Don't knock our coping skills.

Kay:

If i have to check on my spouse several times a day - I would say my marriage is in SERIOUS trouble.....I would say there is a serious TRUST issue going on....it's the women that do this that give women bad names - high maintenance, hovering helicopter, you name it.

They call because the lack the confidence in their marriage and their spouse...maybe it's because THEY are thinking "bad" thoughts (i.e. another person, so if they call THEIR SPOUSE they can be in the fore-front of their head).

If I go away for the weekend - I have set time that I call my kids. I know my husband is taking care of them....

If my husband goes away - he'll call if there's an emergency or to say good night to the boys.

This may sound harsh - but seriously - really?! Women who read their husbands texts, call repeatedly through the day, follow them around? they shouldn't be married. They need to find out WHY they would not trust their mate this way.....there is NO NEED to call, text, etc. every day!

Don't get me wrong - I love to talk to my Bobby...but not when he's at work....we yap at home and when we are together - sit on the couch with my legs in his lap...

When I call my hubby at work - he KNOWS it's important. He won't ignore my call...because he KNOWS I don't call to say "I love you"..

I've got a girlfriend going through a divorce right now for many reasons but she was also HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!! She called hubby all the time...war-dialed him (if he didn't pick up or drop a call she would call him until he did!!) NO JOKE! NO EXAGGERATION!!! Seriously...what do i do about X? are you loving me? I love you....blah-blah-blah.

You are right on - this behavior would push me over the edge and away!!

we text all day long because we are friends also. We laugh and converse about our time apart. Since my husband works in other cities, texting has improved my marriage. I think the term "checking up on" would imply a little distrust. I guess since i feel 100% trusted i dont see it that way. But yeah in a typical day we will share 10 to 100 texts throughout our day unless we are together.

My husband and i interact multiple times a day by phone and text. It isn't checking up. Its connecting. I love to text him funny things our three year old says. Its so busy when he gets home with young kids, sometimes our day time phone conversations are the only way we update each other on our lives and on our day. My husband is my best friend. I know he does not feel checked up on.

Um, no. I actually trust my husband.

We talk through out the day. I wouldn't say it is checking up on each other - just we like to talk to each other. Also, my hubby is out of town Mon thru Fri so it isn't like he comes home at night and we could talk then. So texting is our way of keeping up to date with the little things (i.e. kids are sick, or dog just got sick). Its the small things we text eachother so when we are on the phone we can talk to eachother about eachother and our days. Again - we dont view it as "checking in" on eachother - just communicating with eachother and our days.

Also we chose to marry eachother b/c we want to be together. I couldn't imagine being married and only talking to my spouse 2 or 3 times a week. I enjoy knowing his life/day. Again he is out of town Mon thru Fri so not sure if that is why we talk through out the day but we like eachother - so we talk to eachother :)

I never do but I am always amazed at the amount of women that do. Seems like whenever I am with my friends either during the day our at night they are always on the phone or texting their husbands. It always has struck me as so strange. I love my DH as much as the next woman loves her's but I really do not need to be in constant contact.

why does it seem that everyone takes texting your spouse during the day as checking up on them? My husband works and is gone 10-11 hours a day. I will text him when I get up in the mornings and say hello, and he will text me on his break, he will text me when he is on his way home for lunch (so I can make him food, since the time isn't always the same) we will text back and forth on his other break, and he lets me know when he gets off work and what his plans are at that point, like if he has errands to run, is getting home later than normal or simply on his way.

I also will text him if I am having a rough day homeschooling the big kids or dealing with the baby. Since there are days the two don't mesh well. He doesn't always get back to me, and sometimes that is a big deal, but most of the time I just want someone to vent to and he's my best friend and the first person I go to.

Most the responses seem to be coming from mature, trusting relationships so far.

I wonder if it is b/c the one's who are behaving this way see themselves in your description, as people who constantly text and call for insignificant reasons.

I used to be in the military and work in international defense contracting so mainly men and engineers. I was appalled at the number of wives who would call their husbands at work and start griping and whining about something or other with the kids or how something was left.....Little did they know that often times someone else, like me, a manager, was in their husband's office. Yikes, very uncouth. The wife wouldn't even ask if it was a good time to talk, just launch right into her problem of the moment.

My marriage communication is like 3My2Girls - husband travels a lot, we try to talk in the evening, if we're close to the same time zone. I can't get him to install Skype, he says for confidential and secure reasons.

My husband is not allowed to take his phone into work (classified job with military), and he's rarely at his desk, so we only talk when he calls. He's deployed right now and we usually Skype once a day. I love getting his calls/texts whenever I can--not to check on him, but because he's my best friend!

I don't call or text unless it's an emergency. My husband is great at ignoring call or texts because he's busy with work. I don't dwell on it nor do i suspect anything, My husband knows if he wants out he can get out of marriage with the speed of lightning. No need to cheat. I am flexible like that :) But no, I don't check on him. I don't get surprised either with sorry honey I forgot to tell you. My husband does not have a social life, and whatever he has, he has it through his social butterfly wife. If it is an emergency, I sent him an email to his work email with subject only:
CALL RIGHT NOW.
and nothing in the body of email. He knows to call as soon as he sees it because he knows I don't otherwise contact him.

NO. These people who can't stop calling and texting need to get a life! I would FREAK OUT if my phone was constantly going off -especially if it was my husband "checking in" to find out what I was doing all day long. I purposefully leave my phone in my car quite often and the important people know that they may not get a text response or call back for quite sometime since I'm not checking it 24/7. I hate all of this "tracking." I think it's creepy! I don't want everyone to know where I am all of the time.

Never felt the need, we totally trust each other. If I am working (he is the stay-at-home parent right now), I only call him if I really need to tell or ask him something - like, "Can you get such-and-such from the store?" or "How is DD doing?" (because she was sick this morning). If he kept calling me just for no reason (other than in his mind to check up on me), I would get totally irritated. I went away for a girls-only weekend a few months ago with my friends and I called him twice a day to see how he was and to talk to DD. He never called me once. Not because he didn't care, but because he knew I would call him and he did not want to interfere with the fun I was having and he knew I wasn't do anything inappropriate or was not where I said I would be.

My husband and I are very close, best friends. Never a dull moment with us, and I've known him for over 15 years. We have a million inside jokes. We text each other when something significant happens to us (the kids clog up the toilet and it overflows and then they pick up the furnace register that just sits in the ground, and bring it to the bathroom so the "air" can dry it out, not thinking the duct would be needed for that... that happened today. funny stuff.), we have something funny to say or wondering when he will be done at work, etc.(his hours vary). I enjoy his texts back because he's funnier than most comedians. we also have fun with joke "sexting" hehe.

(Side note on his job, he turns his cell phone sound and vibrate OFF when he's working- just when he gets a break he will check to see if he has gotten any calls and such. He's also his own boss, owns his studio where he works, has no meetings, no fellow employees, and no business trips! it is just him there, and his clients)

I never call it "checking up on him", but I will ask how his day is going sometimes. I will absolutely never question where he is or what he is doing, and I'll never say anything negative like argue, fight or "scold". We just enjoy each other. Mostly texting instead of calling... cause he is frequently unable to answer the phone at work. It may take him all day to return my text, but I never mind that-he's busy. On average, I'll text him 2-4 times a day, some days, none at all-especially if i am super busy.

My closest friend is my husband, hands down, so if I personally went on weekend trip it better be with my husband- I like sharing my experience with him. BUT, I'm all for ditching the cell when on relaxing trips!

No, I don't. He doesn't either. He has meetings and conferences in his work and so do I. We have a code and we'll text '911' to one another if it's a serious emergency and we need to talk immediately whether it's convenient or not. Otherwise texts/calls can wait till we have a chance to get back to one another. We've known each other 32 years and been married gong on 22 years. We are secure in our marriage and trust each other. Rabid insecurity weakens relationships.

Although I get the communication part, my hubby doesn't even have texting on his phone and he loves it that way. If he needs something during the day or something he wants to tell me, he will call, most days I don't talk to him when he is at work. My biggest issue with so many texts is that usually one or both of the couple is at work. I can't beleive so many of you said you text several times a day, usually for nothing that important when one of you is at work. That is not only unprofessional but people have gotten fired for texting/emailing during office hours. Perhaps I am just old fashioned, but a few texts a day maybe, but honestly I think most things can wait until you are home together or at least on a break/lunch time.

I miss him... He misses me. It's as simple as that for us.

My hubby and I randomly text throughout the day and evening. We work opposite shifts, it's our only way to stay "connected". We don't argue via texting we just chat. Sometimes stories about the kiddos, sometimes sexting, sometimes just hey, i am thinking about you. When he is at work he only checks his phone during breaks and dinnertime. And he tries to call every night to say goodnight to his boys :)

no i dont I trust him. that behavior does smother them and push them away.

We usually say "hi" once a shift to each other and the kids since I work days and my husband works evenings, but it is also just a "hey, how's your day going, how are the kids, is work crazy, how were the roads?" and such. If I run errands on my own, I bring my phone but only expect a call really if we forgot to put something on the list, if there is a disaster and I need to come home early, or if my husband can't find something I and might know where it is. If he goes out, I only call him for the same reasons, or if he is running later than I would have expected and I just want to make sure everything's okay and get an idea of when he'll be home (to hold dinner, keep the kids up, keep me up, etc.). I don't have text on my phone anyway. I don't feel the "need" to know where he is all the time unless it is really bad winter weather and I'm just a little worried. He did end up in a ditch a few Sundays ago and called me as I was leaving church (he had been headed to work) to come by and get him. Those are the moments I am thankful for cell phones. :)

Oh, he will call extra to tell me something really funny or really horrible the kids did to vent (painting with poop, really sick, make sure I drive carefully if its bad out, ask me to leave right on time if he needs me, etc.). Other times he just sends an email. I have a phone job so can't just talk to him during the day for any length of time, but we like to connect at least once. Sundays he is at work before I get out of church with the kids, so he doesn't see them before so we always stop by once to say hi since he works 10 hours that day and hates not seeing them at all until 11 at night.

We have ZERO jealousy or insecurity in our relationship. We text throughout the day just to say hi, or to see how eachothers days are going, how the kids are doing... not because we're checking up, but because we care that the other person is having a good day. I would never get mad or spiteful if he didn't text me back. That's really stupid and kind of immature. We wouldn't have gotten married if we didn't trust eachother.

I don' t do this or vice versa, however, I have worked with two different managers whose wives called about every 1/2 hr if not less... even when they were in staff meetings, their cells or pagers would buzz and they'd be checking it.. it was simply obnoxious.

Updated

I don' t do this or vice versa, however, I have worked with two different managers whose wives called about every 1/2 hr if not less... even when they were in staff meetings, their cells or pagers would buzz and they'd be checking it.. it was simply obnoxious.

My husband calls me at least once a day from work to say hi. If he doesn't, I call him. I do consider it checking in, but I don't consideri it checking up on. I just like to hear his voice in the middle of the day. I get lonely if I'm without him for more than a couple of hours, and it's the same for him. We often talk when there is no reason to talk. I consider it very loving - we maintain a very close connection that way. It has nothing to do with trust, though. I trust him completely, and if he doesn't call back right away, I know it's because he's busy with work.

Well my question is...whats the difference between communicating with your SO and checking up on them?
I don't text him to find out WHAT he's doing, I text to see how he is doing. I text pics/videos of our daughter to him, to see if he wants anything special at the grocery store, to tell him I wont be home when he gets home, to tell him something his parents said, to flirt with him, etc etc etc. I also have been away a few times without him and our daughter and I texted him then too. It wasn't a big deal to me.
We don't get angry when we don't respond, we don't go through each others phone's, we have a great relationship full of trust, so why is it a big deal to some. It may be annoying to you, but it's our way of communicating.
The thing is, there could be more to the story then you think, to each their own.

I do not call my hunny during the day unless something happened and he needs to know NOW, or I need to know what time he will be home from work (driver not consistant). When he goes out with his friends I ask him what time do you think you will be home and if it is 15 past that time I start calling. I may send him a funny text of a moment during the day just as he will do the same otherwise we do not text/call eachother frequently. When we are on vacation seperately we typically do not talk unless it is I arrived safe, I am on my way home or we need to communicate for some other reason but even then it's bout 10min of talk time.

Every married couple is different, and does things a different way. My husband and I talk quite frequently during the day. We call & text each other a lot. But its because we LIKE to talk to each other. We are best friends, and he will call or text me to tell me about his day. This is what works for us. If it doesn't work for you, then don't call or text your spouse.

Ummm...no. For quite a few years, my husband & I worked in the same building and usually we talked when we got home--not even at work! (Our jobs didn't overlap, etc)
When my husband is at work, on errands, out with friends, I know where he is and I trust him and I don't see any reason to "check up", "check in" OR "communicate" with him. And it goes both ways. That would drive me nuts and I wouldn't do it to anyone else.
Now, if there's an urgent, time-sensitive,high priority situation or emergency, then yes, I would call.
I think there's a fine line between calling to see "what" he's doing and "how" he's doing.
Seriously, I see my husband on a pretty normal schedule and if something impacts that, then, yeah, it might warrant a text/call but c'mon people! We have neighbors who are ridiculous about constantly calling each others cel phones--even when O. of them is at work. I think it's pathetic.

We text throughout the day but not to check up on each other...its just to stay in touch. We both work long hours (especially my husband) and he is always on call so we never know if we will get dinner together or not.

We text because it is convenient and we can respond when we have a moment. I like the idea that we actually think of each other throughout the day. I think this is a positive in our relationship and not a negative.

If we do not have time to text or contact each other, we do not get upset. We understand there are crazy, busy days that consume us.

My husband travels a lot for work.

I think it's annoying to constantly check in. He'll call 2-3x a week, I'll try and call back, or we'll text back and forth if the kids do something funny or he had a success at work he wants to share.

Otherwise, there is no "check in" or "checking up" as in when he landed, when he got to the hotel, where I am or what I did that day bla bla bla. Who cares???

I honestly have no clue where he stays half the time LOL!!! He could be sleeping in igloos for all I know. And for all he knows the children have tied me up and locked me in the pantry all week.

We're all good.

Our situation is not the norm.
My husband is the stay at home parent and I work full time. I leave the house before anyone else is up because I like to go to the gym before work. So I know I will get a good morning call as I am getting to work. We text back and forth throughout the day, and sometimes call just to say hi.

We made it clear to each other in the beginning of the relationship that there is no secrets. If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing. Both of us have access to each others phones, emails, etc. but just don't have any reason to want to check in on each other.

Excuse me, I have to go, my good morning call is ringing now.....

No and this drives me nuts. He's busy at work and I only call if it's really important. When I did work I hated to be bothered with stupid phone calls or texts. I was busy and didn't have time to be interupted about something that could wait until I got home. One of my husband's employees wife is like this. Constantly calling about absolutely nothing or the most trivial things. And she works in the same building so she's always in the office as well. He's had to kick her out a few times because they really had work to do and she got mad.

We text or call several times a day just to say "hi" or send something funny or sometimes for a true reason like we need milk. We both like it because we like each other, and have been married 22.5 years! If either is busy we just don't respond - that is the beauty of texting. It is not a checking-up kind of thing, it is a communicating thing. And I never touch his cell phone, nor does he touch mine. Not that there is anything sinister in there, but we have different models and I would not want to delete something he wants to keep, plus I trust him. Both my kids have cell phones and I occasionally will read through their texts to keep an eye on the direction of their conversations with their friends. They know that I do this, and I have told them never to text or email anything they would not want me or a teacher or grandma to read, since anything you send could end up with the wrong person. But if you prefer total freedom away from a phone, then there is nothing wrong with that, whatever works for you. Sounds like hubby is contacting you too frequently and you dislike it? Tell him how you feel and that when you are out you want to be left alone. I felt that way when the kids were babies and I was finally out of the house away from them, I certainly did not want a call about how to do something, so I can understand your desire for some "me" time.

I think the posts you see about the constant calling and texting-- in short, the calls and texts are often secondary to the fact that there's another problem going on. I'm not knocking anyone's coping skills/proactive information-gathering here, either. There's a difference between checking in and arguing via text/phone.

In our home, my husband and I usually talk once during the day, and I get an evening call at a usual time to discuss when he'll be home; his work often requires him to stay late as he's the IT guy. I might leave a message for him during the day, or email him, just to keep connected and leave a positive note like: "Picked up some salmon and a movie for tonight". If there's something pressing, I'll talk to him personally when he is able to call back. We make a concerted effort NOT to try to solve any big issues via phone, period, and no arguing over the phone, either. Just disrespectful of the fact that both of us have our hands full during our time apart from each other, and it's not helpful in truly resolving a problem, talking about feelings/informed options, etc.

We do use the cell from time to time to keep each other appraised of what's going on. Example: my husband was unsure if he was going to run a second errand yesterday, and I needed some predictability on my end because I had Kiddo with me and would need to transition him before Daddy came home. It was great that he checked in that he was making the second stoop, and I asked him to pick up something fresh at the market for dinner too. This saved us an extra whole outing, and was pleasant. Likewise, when he dropped me off at the library, and then was on his way back to pick me up, he called and I was able to make things easier by being ready at the corner to jump into the car. (Parking is difficult there.)

All that to say: we try to use our phones for good instead of evil!

And I've never learned to text. NO DESIRE. So that eliminates another avenue of miscommunication!

If you don't trust your spouse, you shouldn't be married. Besides, being insecured is a great reason to get cheated on. If he isn't cheating on you, your insecurities will drive him to.

Well I agree with you... but I also agree with the some of the ladies... My husband and I both work... and we email or call sometimes to say hello or I love you. My husband referees highschool/college, football/basketball on the side for extra money...and when he is away I dont bother him. He will text me or call me when he is on his way home, so I know he is on the highway....but thats usually it. I just dont want to be that kind of wife, I will send him random texts that I love him or miss him, but unless its major I dont call either. But when I am away...its funny cause he calls me all the time...for goofy things.. and it doesnt bother me... Anyway...its your realtionship, you make your own rules. Good Luck... Have a good day!!

I work from home and hubby works 10 minutes away. We instant message each other throughout the day to share funny or interesting things that happen throughout our day. He also comes home for lunch everyday. However I would say no that is not checking up on each other. We just enjoy chatting when the kids are at school or otherwise engaged. If I felt at all like he was checking up on me I would be annoyed but the thought has never crossed my mind. We've been together 24 years now and still haven't run out of things to talk about :)

My boyfriend and I text throughout the day mainly because right now we hardly see each other. I work second shift and he works third shift normally so we would never have any other way of talking to each other most of the time. This will probably change somewhat once our son is born because he will be home with him during the day, but even then, I'm already feeling so guilty about being away from my baby that we'll probably still talk all day while I'm gone so I can get updates on the baby. I don't really think it's "checking up on" as I trust him. I don't go through his cell phone, which I seem to notice a growing trend of among my friends and their relationships. When I go out of town, we talk at least once a day while I'm gone, but it is usually for no more then 15 minutes, just to say hi and see how things are going. If he doesn't respond immediately then it is no big deal. He'll get back to me when he is free. If he leaves to go out with his friends, then I usually leave him alone and he has fun, and vice versa, cause we know where each other is. I guess I never thought there was anything abnormal about our communication level.

My husband calls me more than I call him, but not to check up on me. He's like a little kid in that if he has something to tell me, he has to tell me NOW...it can't wait until we see each other! And if he doesn't get me, he'll leave a message and then call every twenty minutes or so until he gets me. Sometimes it gets annoying (especially if I'm in a meeting at work) but I mostly just put up with it because I don't want to have an argument just because he called me when I didn't think it was necessary. He'll run to the store and call me while he's there to tell me the price of such-and-such changed. Oh well, it's partly my own doing because he didn't even want a cell phone; he only got one because I made him!

On a different note, we both will call the other if someone is gone longer than expected. We ride maxi-scooters and there's always the fear that the other had an accident.

I have never checked on my spouse...he would never check on me.100% trust...if I would have a reason I would,no daubt,but right now...we are good.

No, thats annoying. My hubby and I call each other a few times a day to say hi and talk about things but no, we don't check up on each other constantly....

We dont, although we do call or text each other for stupid reasons. (like, when he called to ask what type of frosting he should get on a small cake for our daughter's birthday, then picked out the one he wanted anyway....like, dude, I was at work, and you interrupted me for what? hee) If we're out of town we always call to say goodnight, but we're never calling to say "where are you? Who are you with?" Even if I was out playing poker with the guys, my husband trusts me enough not to bug me all the time.

We hate texts. Neither of us have texting on our phones, because I've got friends that just go a little hay-wire with it and it's just....annoying. Call, talk to me for 5 minutes, and get it all said and done, lol.
My husband and I are super close, but after kissing each other at the door we generally don't talk again until his lunch break. Unless he gets really good news or gets really mad at work. (If he gets mad he'll go outside and walk the lake and talk to me to get "recentered"). That's rare though. If he's busy and working through lunch, whatever. If he's just kinda leaning back resting, he might call for a minute to touch base. We do shoot emails occasionally though. I'm aware of his schedule and what he's got going on for the week so I don't contact him at all if it's a busy day, lots of appointments, or someone has come into the office. If it's just a "normal" day, I may send him an email if something (usually the boys) strikes me as funny, or if I'm just wanting to send happy thoughts to him. I'll get an occasional email from him just because he misses me or whatever. Those things are not very often and not expected though. We DO have rules however......he emails me when he's about to leave and calls me when he gets to the car. Then I know he'll be home in 20-40 minutes. Also, on icy days or really really bad rainy days, he calls to tell me he's made it in. That's not because I demand it, but just respect for someone else being concerned.
When I go out with the girls which is rare: he's always present when I'm leaving obviously, because he's the one that will be staying with the kids. If I'm going somewhere I've never been before and we're trying to find directions beforehand, I'll call him to say I got there before I go play (but if it's somewhere we're familiar with already, I do not). I don't call again until I'm on my way home, to say I'm on my way home, check on the house and kids, and to tell my husband, who is my friend, what I did, give him the scoop on whatever was interesting. Same as I used to call my girlfriends when I'd finish a date with my husband when we were just dating. He generally won't call me (except once when I told him I'd be gone for 3 hours and 5 hours in, he called to see if I was ok. I said Yes, and he was embarassed he'd called. I told him he didn't have to be embarassed).
He rarely goes on business trips. My best friend's family were killed in a plane crash 6 years ago, and 13 years ago an exboyfriend's M. and friend were killed in a plane on their way to visit him. We do not let those things hinder us from doing what we want to do; we travel. But if either of us goes without the other (me to see family or him on business), we do see each other off at the airport every time. He often has flowers for me, I have a note and his favorite cookies for him. We call each other when the plane is boarding. We call when we have landed. We generally won't talk again until the evening for goodnight talks. Neither of us sleep well without the other. So yeah, even if we're going out, we will sneak a goodnight call in. And in the morning, I wake him up (I'm the morning person who always wakes him). Or, if I'm the one away, I will call him once I'm up and dressed. It's not a check up thing like we're controlling each other, but we got married because we were best friends. We miss each other. And we miss the kids and want to check in with them too. It's just what it is. But if we are together and the kids are with us, yeah the phone is turned off.

My husband and I check in with each other throughout the day (not during work, though). Ours stems from safety reasons. My husband gets very worried if he can't get a hold of me when I'm out and about (something very tragic happened to his brother when they were little, so he tends to think that something bad may have happened to me). So for us, it's not a trust issue at all. If I'm out shopping and he hasn't heard from me in a few hours, he gets a little bit worried and will call. For me, if I think he's supposed to be on his way home from work and an hour or more has passed, I begin to worry if his car broke down or something else happened (we live five minutes from his work).

My husband and I don't really call/text much during the day because we are both really busy. We will call if one or the other is going to be late, or has a change of plans, or to ask if we should stop at the grocery store, etc. Sometimes I will call him to tell him something about the kids that is funny/frustrating, or he'll call to vent about a business situation. But if one or the other doesn't answer, no one gets all worked up about it! Like others have said, if it's something urgent I will indicate that in my text/call, otherwise I don't "expect" a return call immediately.

I do have some friends that constantly have their blackberry or whatever out and are ALWAYS texting their husbands. It is so annoying when you are tryign to spend meaningful time with a friend. But I don't think they are doing it out of jealousy or insecurity. I just think some people are very attached to their communication devices and it's become a habit.

If I'm out socially I do not call my husband at all, and vice versa. I leave my phone on so I can get a call or text if there is a situation with the kids, but otherwise I don't expect to talk to him. If one or the other is out of town, there is usually a wake-up/good morning call, and a good night call.

I love my hubby so I like to talk to him. I don't think frequent communication is a sign of a bad marriage or of mistrust. Some people just like to talk to each other a lot and stay connected!

K

I text my husband when he is at work and sometimes he texts me from work. It isn't frequent. Usually my texts are something along the lines of "Your child hurdled the baby gate while I was downstairs doing laundry. She got the dog a popsicle. She is very generous. The dog didn't eat it and now there is a big blue stain in the living room." So I wouldn't say I am checking up on him, just letting him know when something interesting happens. I could wait to tell him but sometimes I want to share something in the moment. Now if he were texting me constantly or me texting him constantly then there would be a problem and we would both be annoyed with the other.

it may not mean anything but maybe she is just checkin up on you... funny how we lose our temper over these things but come to think of it.. during the courtship or dating stage we usually blush or we feel overwhelmed when our special someone calls up just to check if we already ate..

I will text or email if I know it's something I will forget but is important (a doctors apt that he needs to put on his calendar or something). My husband has been traveling a lot lately so I will text to check in but more to just say hello. He always texts me to let me and the kids know he's at the airport safe or when he's on the way home. He send off a text just before he has to turn of his phone and just as he's allowed to turn it back on.
I never expect an immediate response. He needs to work when he's working.
But then again since we started dating we'd always call each other on our lunch breaks and stuff anyway so it's not something unusual for us.
I'm glad he works from home most of the time now though. But I will still text him from the living room when he's shut in his office upstairs if it's something I'll forget or really need a fast answer too LOL

we only call or text each other if we have something to say (like stop by the store) Sometimes if my hubby will be gone all day and not see the kids I'll send him pictures of the kids doing our activity of that day. If he is out with friends which he doesn't do often I won't text him and let him enjoy his buddies. I would hate to be checked up on so I don't do it to him.

My husband and I call each other a few times a day. He usually leaves before we (me and my 3 girls) are up and about for the day so we call and say good morning. And we'll also talk later in the day if there's something to say or if one of us is bored. We love each other and like to keep in touch.

I do NOT however call to 'check up' on him. And if he happens to not answer my call? Then it's because he's busy, knows it's me calling and that I'll understand. And he *always* calls back when he can. The thought that he's cheating never even enters my mind if he doesn't answer. I trust him completely!

Oh, and when he's away on a business trip (which happens about 6 times a year for up to a week at a time) he's the one calling me because he misses us at home!!

No, we have days we talk five or six times and days where we see each other when he leaves and when he gets home. I would never "check" my man's cell phone. It just wouldn't occur to me to do so, I don't even mess with it at all bc he uses it for work and has customer texts and emails and I never want him to think I deleted something he needed etc. I mean his job is paying my bills too, don't want to jeopardize that!! :D I just trust my husband as I expect him to trust me, that's it. Me checking him or not doesn't make him faithful, he takes care of that all on his own!!!