Do You Buy Your Preschooler Something Every Time You Go Out Shopping?

Nope. Rarely in fact so at almost 4 he doesn't even ask. If he gets anything, it is a pretzel or snack but even that is rare. Two reasons : 1) I don't want to start that expectation 2) I don't want trinkets all over my house. I refuse to literally throw away money, especially $2 at a time!

Absolutely not.
You are creating a monster. When it gets out of hand and she throws a fit because you won't buy her something - remember this question....
LBC

ab.so.lute.ly not. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting them a little something, though, I just don't want to fight that battle now before he's old enough to understand $$ and stuff.

I once heard a money expert tell someone not to tell kids "we can't afford that" but to explain that there's a better way to spend the money.

My son (almost 3) doesn't really even know that things can come home from the store. The store is for food and diapers and stuff. *If* he gets special toy, I buy it and bring it home for him. For example he got a hot wheels car the other day because he was SO well behaved for days and days and I wanted to say thank you for cooperating with mama. I don't know how long I can keep up this charade, but today I told him that we couldn't buy easter candy because it wasn't for us to buy--it was for the easter bunny to buy. Generally, though, toys are spaced out between birthdays and christmas (he was born in the middle of the year, so every 6 months or so)...

I'm just SO annoyed by clutter and junk around the house and even getting toys every six months or so we still end up weeding things out frequently. Books are an exception. I will take him to the book store to pick a special book if I get tired of reading the SAME stories over and over and over...

I won't lie and say I never do it. It happens on occasion. But it is definitely NOT an expectation from my children that they will get something every time we shop. There are two main reasons. First, we try very hard, starting at an early age, to teach our children that everything has value. Why spend a dollar here and there each time, when we can save and buy something substantial? Buying a trinket and giving in to those little whims is teaching your daughters to be impulse shoppers. Many, many people who struggle with their finances do so because they fall into the trap that a credit card means they don't have to wait. We want our kids to know what a dollar really means. We don't give allowance just yet, but out six year old still managed to save and buy his own Nintendo DS. It took him over a year. He saved birthday money, did extra chores, sold stuff in a few garage sales and even helped our neighbor to earn money. The DS is still his prized possession, because he EARNED it.

Secondly, have you ever watched Willy Wonka? I don't want to accidentally raise some version of Veruca Salt. Some kid screeching about how she "wants it now!" (or some version thereof). I don't want a kid who won't be happy until she's given something. Giving your kids stuff all the time may keep her occupied but it's only setting yourself up for problems down the line.

No! We do browse a lot, because my son loves going to stores. We can go to Target and browse for an hour and leave with nothing. Do I buy him things? Rarely, but yes. The other day I saw a Thomas The Train pillow on clearance for $5.00, and that's an awesome price!! I decided to buy it, and I loved buying it for him. It was such a rare occasion, it didn't cause me to worry about a habit. That doesn't mean he gets something the next place we go, and he knows that. I totally understand getting things for your child makes you feel good, I LOVE getting things for other people. (Especially, my husband and son.) We were very poor growing up, and I am often tempted to give him things, just because I didn't get things. I don't want to create expectations, and I don't want to "buy" my son's company and affection. Ultimately, that's what you are doing...whether you realize it or not. She will begin to ask more and more, since she is quite young now. I would nip this in the bud, and save purchases for very special occasions, or once in a blue moon times.

ETA: Actually, we ALL answered your question...you just apparently don't like the answers...?? You asked if it was typical, most of us said yes. You asked if she was spoiled, most of us suggested it could turn into that. As far as you seeing ME in the store, you obviously never have. I said NO, I don't buy my son things often. When I say no, that's what I mean. You are pretty sensitive about this, I wonder if it's because we hit a nerve?

Nope I don't. yes , you are spoiling her. Pretty soon they will expect you to buy them something and begging for it if you don't. You are really setting yourself up for failure.

I did answer your question, no I don't do it. Go ahead keep doing it, see what happens when she's older and you don't get her something , and because you have been she pitches a HUGE fit and you have a spoiled rotten attitude drama queen on your hands.

Heck no.

I don't want my children to think that they're entitled to some material item every time we go out because I need to "buy my own sanity" to have some material item keep my kid "occupied".

Tell them "no". They might have a tantrum the first few times, but as learning behavior goes, they will eventually learn that "trip to store" does not equal "you buy me something".

No. I do not buy my son's something every time we go to the store. No trinkets, those damn things break and get thrown out, and then I am wasting my money! If I average $5 a week x's the three kids that's $15. Multiply that by 52 and that is $260 a year. I am not saying that's a ton...but it is a lot to just throw away! lol
That's not to say I NEVER buy them something, I certainly do, but I would say maybe once a month. They hear "no" or "it's not on sale" a LOT.
L.

Uh, no. They ask, "Can I have this?" to which I reply, "Do you have the money to buy it?" They say, "No!" to which I reply, "Me either."

I'm not concerned with being judged at all. :)
I have a 2 yr old and a 5 yr old. They don't get stuff, nor have they ever, on a "regular" basis. Honestly, they don't really ask. I do NOT say "we can't afford it" because...we probably can, and it's also not their burden to bear if we couldn't. They never do without, but I may buy something once a month, MAYBE. More like 1 thing every other month. We get seasonal items (the cute shovels, buckets, waterguns, beach chairs, big balls, etc) usually at the end of the summer. I will buy things (with the distraction and hide in the cart technique) occasionally when there's a great sale: in my armoire I store "emergency gifts" for the short notice parties we are invited to, or for rainy days. But NO we do NOT give stuff even close to every time we go to the store. He does help me make a list and I call out what's next on the list and they both help me find it. We make it a game. Maybe they don't ask for stuff because we stay occupied other ways?
What we DO practice regularly (and I've written about it on numerous occasions): if Joseph says "Oooh, that's so cool" I'll say "I will keep that in mind" (that's not a promise to buy, nor is that a dismissal--if there's a holiday coming up, or if he's been super helpful and I feel like giving him a gift to say I see and appreciate his efforts, he may well get that a little later at home) OR I'll ask "Ok, you have this much spending money....do you want to buy it with your money?" Usually the answer is no. My 5 year old gets 25 cents/day allowance, plus bonuses when they are earned, paid once a week, pays 10% to tithes, 10% to savings, and banks 80%. He likes to hold onto his money and save for something he REALLY wants when he can afford it---which is something he learned from me, and through experience. It is our job, afterall, to teach him these things.

Ummm... I'm going to say no. I didn't. I still don't (mine are 10 & 13). From an early age I NEVER bought them "things" at the store. Not trinkets and not candy. When I went to the store I had a list and if I didn't stick to it, it wasn't because I was buying them stuff they asked for (it was because something I didn't expect was on sale and wanted to get it while it was on sale).
It all seems innocent enough now, like you say-- while they are inexpensive trinkets. But what happens when "things will need to change" when her tastes are more expensive? After years of saying "yes" to trinkets from the store on a whim every trip, you are going to start saying "no" and expect her to be just fine with that? I think you are setting yourselves (yes, you AND your daughter) for some difficulties down the road. It is much easier to begin giving unexpected treats, than it is to stop giving something that is expected.

Now that my kids are older, I do buy them things sometimes, but it is by no means a regular thing or something they expect. They know I buy snacks for the house, and they may ask for "this" vs. "that" for the household snacks... and sometimes I let the two of them decide together. They are learning to compromise: you choose this time, and next I'll get the one I want. And they do this. Without issue. They know when we get to the store whose 'turn' it is for that sort of thing. The thing is, I may not buy any household snacks that trip. Oh well.

But do I buy them little toys or whatever? No. If they want something, they use their allowance or gift money.

Now, that said, I DO sometimes get them things for no reason. Once in a while (not even probably once out of 9 trips) I just want to surprise them for no reason. This is unusual. Usually there IS a reason-- some accomplishment or something they did beyond the ordinary expectation that I want to acknowledge. Or something is on sale that I know we will want in a few weeks (beach/pool stuff comes to mind).

But buying them something EVERY time I go anywhere? Uh.. NO.

ETA: This is what my kids hear a lot of: "It's not on sale." "I refuse to pay that price for that." "Wait for it to go on sale." "It'll be on sale next week." "We don't NEED that." "You don't need that." "You already have ____." "That is cheaply made and will break/not worth it." "Not in the budget/on my list." "I'll try to remember that when it gets closer to your birthday." "Maybe you should put it on your list so you can save for it." "I'd rather spend the $5 it costs on something else."

No. I almost never buy my kids something when we are at the store...

Honestly.

If we are going shopping for something - that is usually separate from our regular trips to the store.... we needed new swimsuits and sunglasses - so we made a special trip to do that...

I recommend reading this book...

http://www.amazon.com/No-Kids---Ages--Need-Hear-Parents/d...

They only get one request at the grocery store, otherwise no. If you set yourself up for that it makes taking them with you miserable. I would rather have their company than buy their company.

I didn't really take my kids out to stores to just look around. We went because we needed something and we bought it. Other than the grocery store, I didnt do very much shopping. Teaching them to constantly shop and spend money buying things that are not necessities is a bad habit. If you're not out buying food for the family, why must you shop so much?

Omigosh, no, I never did. But you know who DID? Daddy. Yep, daddy always bought the kids something when they went out. Every. Single. Time. And now at 14, 11 and 9, they STILL expect Daddy to get them something whenever he takes them out. Thankfully that's super rare. But when I take them out shopping or whatever, they don't even ask. But sometimes, I'll surprise them with "so, shall we get you a new t-shirt?" They appreciate it all the more because it's an unexpected surprise instead of feeling like they're entitled to something "just because".

No, I never, ever bought my kids something every time I went to ANY store just because I was there. It didn't matter if they were with me or not. I couldn't afford that sort of spending and I didn't want to risk them ever expecting it. I'm not the sort of parent that ever encouraged self-entitled behaviors.

I do not take my son shopping very often and to be quite honest, I typically do not buy him anything he does not need. So, if I agree to purchase something for him it is something he has earned (reason for the trip) or it is something he needs and he has a say in the item.

When my kids were younger I did sometimes buy them something while we were out. I'd caution against doing it regularly, though. Although it's just trinkets for now it won't be for long and she won't understand why she can't have things then. I don't see every now & again as a problem, but I do think it's valuable to learn from a young age the difference between a "need" and a "want", that we need to budget for both and don't always get the wants.

As a general rule, I used to ask myself how what I was doing with my children when they were younger would translate into them as teenagers. If you don't want them coming at you for every concert, trendy outfit, special trip or whatever as teenagers, help your children to learn patience and selectivity as youngsters.

The craft store is typically for them so yes, I do buy them something there. But stores like Target I use as a learning tool and set expectations before we get there if we're going to buy something for someone else etc. I also lie and say we can't afford certain things. I heard that from my parents enough that it made me value things and know money doesn't grow on trees and I'm very glad. I really want my kids to have a good sense of money and fortunately we can afford most things they want but it doesn't do them any good to know that. I've seen kids who grew up fairly wealthy have no spending sense and then they in turn don't turn out to have much money and boy is that a rude awakening. I'll say we can't afford it about something for myself too sometimes. I want them to see self discipline, buying everything doesn't make you happy etc.

No, we don't get kiddo something every time.

However, I do ask him to help me decide stuff - i.e., Should we get this soap or this soap? Which of these two dog biscuits do you think the dogs would like? Etc. Keeps him involved in the "getting stuff" process, but without it being all about him. :)

I'm like Debi S. I rarely buy him anything when he's with me, but I buy lots of stuff (usually clothes) when he's not.

No! Not at the grocery store either. AND our daughter knew, if she asked, the answer would always be no.

Instead we would look with our eyes. We took our own snacks and drinks..

If she saw something she was interested in.. I would consider it for another time or a future gift.

She knew that we bought what was on the list.

Just sometimes and we only occasionally get a cookie if we are at a place with a bakery. Whether or not it is an issue of money, I am glad I have instilled the idea that sometimes we get trinkets and sometimes we don't. It just eliminates the "entitlement" piece, power struggles/tantrums, and mindlessly throwing stuff in the cart/picking up stuff. When they do get something, I have my kids make choices among the things they pick out, so they can begin to reason why they want one thing over another when they can't have both. We love places like the dollar store and the $1 bins at target. I usually let my kids "shop" on these occasions. They think they have hit the jackpot with a handful of dollars there! It's fun, but we try to keep it in perspective.
A.

Not at all. I never wanted to get that started. In fact, if they are with me I just don't do it. But if they are not with me, then yeah. I like to bring stuff home for them.

No way !
It's ok to say no to kids.
You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt down the line. The expectation is going to continue that they always get stuff.

This sounds like the latte factor for kids... It will and does add up.

No. I sometimes take him (he'll be 3 in early April) with me into Target, and supermarkets...but he knows we're shopping for food or items we need. If he asks for something I say, "Sorry, no," and smile so he knows I'm not upset with him. Hope that answers your question.

The one exception was last Thursday when I had to get some new shoes, tights and makeup for my Dad's memorial service. i intended to get little guy something to keep him quiet at the service, and gave him the choice of a Fisher-Price Doodler, Thomas the Train or Cars2. But like I said, I had it planned, it wasn't something i typically do.

I hit the "$1" section at Target most every time I shop alone, and Dollar Tree for items to surprise him and my other grandkids with. And when he receives cash or gift cards for birthdays and Christmas i take him to Target, Toy R Us or the store the cards are from and he gets to pick out what he wants. I don't do allowances for preschoolers, they don't get the concept that young.

As long as she can take no for an answer when you don't get her anything, I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds like you are picking and choosing what she gets instead fo getting her whatever she asks for. My kids get an occasional treat when we go to the store- usually something I see that I think we would enjoy. They understand that it is not always and it is only what I approve.

We usually let them get something.. if we have a little extra we will let them get a small toy or something around $5.

When we don't have much money above and beyond what we are going there to get then we will let them pick out something we need... the type of cereal, cheese, hotdogs etc... we were going to get them anyways but they get to pick it out ( or really up) and they are just as happy. Its funny watching them hold the item the whole time in the cart.. then putting in on the belt.. then when we get to the car they have to hold thier "treat" on the ride home then they will put it away.

no, but I would on occasion.

If you are worried it is not too early to start an allowance. A small one. Let her choose what she wants and let her learn that once the allowance is gone...... no more money to buy anything that week. You can teach her how to save too. You can still buy her something once in awhile, but if you are worried about her understanding the value of money, this should do the trick. You just have to remember to not give in when her money runs out.

It sounds like you are doing a great job. If you can afford it why not get a little treat when you go out? We do. Cupcakes, a ball, a beanie baby. If it makes them smile why not? Soon enough they will be past little joys and saving for the new i touch whatever. I'm with you!

Absolutely not. I will often buy them something as a reward if they have been good for several days or when we go somewhere and they are good the whole time we are visiting. But I make it a point to never buy them something if they ask for it. I want to encourage them to come up with a reason for needing something. It's nice to get something you want but not over something you need. If they have been polite, considerate, and respectful of their surroundings I will often pick up something special and fairly inexpensive but they definitly have to earn the reward. For example we went into ToysRUs when my oldest was 4 for a birthday present for a friend. Not once did she ask for anything in the store. She knew why we were there and was respectful that we were not there to buy her something. When we left we purcahsed a small toy for her and gave it to her after the party for being so considerate in the store.

I usually don't buy my 4 year old things when we go out. I let her "help" me, and that seems to help keep her busy - she helps put thing in the cart, takes them out at the cash register, etc. I DO shop at Trader Joe's with her a couple times a month, and so then she gets to sample whatever they're tasting, and the cashiers always give out stickers for the kiddos. That helps!

We do a sticker chart for "good nighttime behavior" (no fits at bedtime or in the middle of the night if she wakes up to potty), and at the end of each row (7 stickers), she can earn a small treat. I keep dollar spot stuff on hand, or we'll go to Starbucks and get a "pink milk" (kids milk with one pump of raspberry). Then at the end of the chart (7 rows of 7, usually) it's a bigger prize. So, if she asks for things in the store, I'll say something like, "maybe that can be your next sticker treat!" Having a goal helps.

I grew up with not a lot - one of 4 kids, my dad's a pastor and mom stayed home. We have a more flexible income than I did growing up, but my husband and I are both grateful for our "leaner" childhoods. I want my kids to grow up knowing that gifts are for special times, but they will always have what they need. Hope that makes sense.

My three year old started getting an allowance of $3 a week when she turned 3. She then puts her money in one of those piggy banks that has the sections for spend, save, and donate. She has a tiny wallet that I carry in my purse, in which she'll occasionally put some of the "spend" money in. Then when we're out and she sees something she wants, and I approve of course, she can buy it herself. She usually wants some kind of small, cheap trinket, like yours.

Oddly enough, I rarely buy my 4 year old a trinket/toy/whatever while he is with me, but I pick up stuff all the time for him when he is not! Damn that Target dollar section. As a result, he gets a little something at home on a pretty regular basis. But even if it's one or two things a week, it's only $8/month.

He doesn't really ask for things when we are out, and understands beforehand when I say we are there to look, not buy, but when he wants to buy something, I give him the chance to use his own money. He is also into his "list," a leftover idea from his birthday and xmas in december when he made lists and received some (certainly not all) of the things on it. Now when he sees something he wants, he asks if we can put it on his list of things to get another day, like his next birthday. This gives me the chance to say yes to him as much as I can without actually getting the item. Works great at the toy store!

I take my 3 1/2 year old and 16 month old to Target once a week. My older one will ask me for something anytime we go anywhere, but I would say I only buy him something once a month. It's usually a coloring book or a small toy. We have way too many toys and "stuff" at home first of all and most of it ends up being a waste of money. When he was a little younger I remember a period of time where I would buy him something every time we would go shopping anywhere and he started throwing huge tantrums when he wouldn't get anything, so that had to stop.

Your question got me thinking, when my kid's were pre-schoolers I did not get them anything everytime we went to the store. I did include them in the decision process and helped figure out what the better deal was. I kinda made it one big math lesson!! But now it seems like I spend a LOT more money when they are shopping with me! I'll get Green Machine or something like that when they are with me, which is sooo expensive, but hey, it's healthy, right!

Anyway, good question!!

I do allowance or else my son would be intolerable in the store. This way he can pick and choose what he wants and if he has already spent his allowance, tough luck. I also rely very heavily on the "birthday list"/"Christmas list" concept. Oh, you really like that expensive toy? We'll add it to your birthday list/Christmas list. The list must be 8 miles long by now, but it sure works keeping peace in the store.

I do let him choose certain items in the grocery store, like a type of yogurt or cookies for his lunch box. Makes grocery shopping a little more fun for him.

Not every time, no. I'll tell him we can play with something, but we don't buy toys every time we shop.

I do not buy my children something everytime we go to the store in the sense that you are asking. When we go to the grocery store they are each allowed to pick out an item that they really want to eat. Junk is not an option. My four yr old usually picks blueberries and my 6 yr old usually picks yogurt. My daughter is in first grade and does get rewarded for good grades or behavior. I will let her pick out a toy and she gets a budget and an explanation that she is being rewarded for ______. I don' t really buy my 4 yr old much and he doesn't ask. When he starts going to school and getting graded, he can also receive rewards. I buy my kids clothes all year long whenever they are on sale and I do let them pick and choose as long as they are marked down. As far as just buying for the sake of buying or because they are asking - no way. My kids do get an allowance and when they ask for things I ask them if they brought their money with them and if they can afford it.

Nope. Many times we leave with just what we came for and she doesn't get candy, toy, etc. Instead, I enlist DD's help to pick out the whatever we need or I save even trinkets for times she's been really patient/good. If I see something she'll like, I'll squirrel it away for a holiday or birthday.

I used to do this all the time...especially with my nephews, they were the first kids in the family, ya know how that goes! Ha!

~But now with my own kids I am really trying to cut down on all the clutter and the cheap plastic toys/trinkets from China, etc. so No I no longer buy them something every time I go to the store.

Now it's more like every once in a great while! This way it's more of a treat and a surprise and I buy them while I am alone not when they are with me...so they are learning they don't get something just b/c they ask or want it and yet they still get to feel special once in awhile when they come home from school and there is something waiting for them on their bed!

I totally, totally do this.
A little trinket like that can be a nice "babysitter" for a couple of hours. It also prevents a meltdown in the store and keeps me on schedule.

Maybe that's spoiling my kids. But it's saving my sanity. They certainly get told "no" enough at home.

I usually do but am trying not to as much - if that makes sense. My son has gotten spoiled by it and now expects me to bring home gifts when I get the groceries on Sunday (I shop at Target) but he is also 8 and in that "me me me" phase.

On the flip side - I told him we were possibly facing some financial struggles (job insecurity) and that we could not buy him the things he wants all the time because it was important for us to save our money. He seemed to get that and has started requesting a lot less things.

I tend to go through phases, where I am really generous and other times where I am more frugal and limited. THere are times when I will buy things and say "this is for your treasure chest and you can earn it". Then she earns the items that she picked out by doing things around the house, cleaning up her playroom, bedroom, helping with the laundry, etc. I think this helps because she does what she is supposed to, gets what she would have (but not for going to the store, for doing a chore) and then she has to decide between all the items in her treasure chect what she wants!

yes, i am like you...i probably buy a little something for my 3 year old every time we go to target. they have those little dollar bins and she always finds something pink or "princessy". of course age appropriate, nothing like candy or things that will get lost on the floor for her baby sis to pick up. she loves that junk, and she too will play with it all the time. i don't think my mom did that with us. when we are clothes shopping, she doesn't really care about anything and i just pick out what i want :) at the grocery store, we will often get a smoothie or granola bar to snack on, to her that's a treat. we definitely have rules in our house, and i have no problem saying "no" either, but i find no harm in those little treats!

Ill answer! I don't care what anyone thinks of what I do or don't buy for my nearly 5 yr old and I have a 15.5 yr old son. To answer, yes, if its deserving then sure. My son doesn't ask for much but if he did I would get it for him. My lil lady, now that girl wants everything!! She loves bandaids too!! She's the booboo fixer :) she can have a coloring book or a little something if she's been good. Do I buy her a Barbie dreamhouse everytime I go in to a store, no but a little trinket, yep! I always have and sure I always will!

I don't mind my kids getting a little something out of the dollar bin. If it is $2 or less I don't care. Heck, I do that for myself, y'know?

If I am going somewhere I know they won't be getting anything, I tell them ahead of time- "OK, we are buying a birthday present, we are NOT getting anything for oursleves here today, got it???"

I am also not afraid of the flack if it's a NO. My daughter asks for stuff all the time I just tell her it's too expensive or whatever. But I buy them a little extra something all the time, it's not like I go out of my way NOT to.

My kids do get allowance, and if they want something they buy it themselves. We started the allowance for this exact reason. Hard for me to say "don't get that piece of junk thing" because it's usually something they already have a dozen of at home. But I'm trying to teach them how to manage money, something I was never taught. It's worked out well.

To get allowance we have a chore chart they check off each day. That includes things they are suppose to do like put your shoes in your closet, make your bed, clothes in the hamper, etc. Plus then they have real chores like feed the cat, take the trash, water the plants, etc. One of my kids is in Kindergarten and he's been having trouble listening to the teacher, so listening to the teacher became an item on his chart. If they don't check off everything for a day, they don't get allowance that day.

My daughter is 4 and my answer is: hardly ever. If we are grocery shopping, no candy, no treats. If we are in a store like Walmart, that is also a no and I make it clear to her from the beginning that we are here for XYZ, please do not ask me for anything else. She will still sometimes try, and say things like "I really like that toy..." and "I wish I could have that ball..." and stuff and I just say, "Yep, that toy is pretty cool, maybe Santa will bring it for you..." or "Yeah, well, you already have a bunch of balls to play with at home..." and we move on. If she gets whiny about it, I get more firm and remind her of what I told her before. And that she will never get what she wants by whining. Fortunately I think she is getting to the point that she doesn't expect it, so she doesn't bug me for anything.

Now the mall or Michael's Crafts is a different story. It's hard to say no to everything inside Michael's so if she asks for something, I will tell her maybe, if she behaves herself. If she can't behave herself, than no. Most of the stuff in Michael's are the little kids' art and craft projects that she will have fun playing with at home anyway for a while, so I figure it's worth it. Last time we were there she ended up with a big plastic pink "diamond" that she really wanted because that is what she ended up picking out as her "prize" for good behavior. And sometimes at the mall I end up getting her an unexpected article of clothing or a special snack if, again, she is cooperating with me. She also gets to play in the play area if she is good. If she isn't, no play area and no treats.

When my stepsons were younger, if we ever went anywhere with one of those claw machines where you paid a dollar to try to grab a prize, my younger stepson had to try it, or have Dad try it. Maybe it was because he only had them every other weekend, but Dad never said no. He would only make one attempt though so it wasn't like he sunk $10 into one trying to get a $2 prize. Stepson is now 17 and still can't stay away from at least one crack at the claw machine. I just tell my husband, now with our daughter, "Don't you dare start that!"

Every time we go to the grocery store, each of my kids gets to pick out a special treat. If they choose chips, that is it. A lot of times it helps them to choose one really special treat (like snack cakes).

As far as Wal-Mart, Target, etc. I'd say probably 95% of the time I buy them something. Not always a toy or something but like you said, bandaids, a new brush, etc. I do this more with my older child (4.5) because my son is still in the cart so he's not as 'mobile' and can't grab and get into things!

I see no problem with telling her "You get 1 treat while we are out." and that can be for the entire day (grocery store, gas station, Target, etc). i do not see it as buying her company and while I like the idea of allowance, we haven't started that in our household either.

There have been plenty of times I said no as well. But I think it's fun to take the kids out and spoil them 1x a week or so as long as you can afford it. That being said, I probably go somewhere wiht the kids 2x a month..most of the time I grocery shop and do the other shopping alone because I enjoy it and it's faster and cheaper without them (and hubby!).

Funny but I catch myself doing the same thing. I completely get what you are saying and have questioned myself too. Nothing major but he usually gets an apple juice from Starbucks when we go to Target and sometimes something small. I too avoid the candy but I will do gum or those little boxes of animal crackers.