After several nights of 6 to 8 hour stretches, waking on average just once during the night, the last 2 days our baby is back to waking up more frequently. In a 2 hour period, she has woken up twice. I know she's teething...she's cutting about 4 teeth right now, plus she is coughing a bit and sneezing which I'm not sure is related to that, or if she's getting a cold. In any case, I worked very hard on gently sleep training her, getting her down to one waking per night...patting her back, walking out, etc...but she seems so mitserable now that it breaks my heart not to respond to her. She is clearly miserable. I'm not a big fan of meds, but I did give her Motrin and rubbed some orajel on her gums before bed...I guess that didn't help much since she already awoke twice. So, are you more responsive during teething times, or do you stick to the "rules" (no picking up, etc).
Thanks!
Thanks----I just needed this little push of reassurance that I'm doing the right thing by going in and comforting her each time she wakes. She's having a very hard time tonight, so it's clear to me she's unwell and needs her mama! She's very late on getting her teeth in (she only had 2 up until three days ago, when the top two came in...and now 4 more are coming in!)
i ld like my child to know they can count on me when they dont feel good. I am her mother and that is my job
Personally for me all bets are off if the baby isn' feeling well. They need comforting, not rules that apply when they are healthy. You'll get her back on schedule when she feels better.
Hello,
Personally, I am a fan of attachment parenting, where you don't follow the 'rules'. You follow the cues from your child. Please - NEVER worry if you are doing the right thing. If your instinct is telling you to comfort your child, then by all means, comfort her!!! I believe that helps a child to become more secure - they know that their mom, (dad, whoever) is there when they need help.
Follow your instincts!!! No one is checking in to see if you are following any 'rules'. Do what you feel is best for your child!!!
Good luck and hang in there with the teething,
L.
....Keep in mind... that no matter how you 'train' your baby to sleep... sleep is NOT static and it changes per age, per developmental changes, per cognitive changes, per hunger, per motor-skill changes, per sickness, per teething, per gas pains, per many things.
So even if you had baby sleeping well.. .that is for now. Not always.
I do not know anyone, adult aged, that has slept the same way since they were an infant... nor as a toddler, nor as an older child, nor as a Teen, nor as a College kid, nor as a single or married person.
Sleep "patterns" WILL change. So if you 'accept' that... then it will not be as frustrating... for you. Then for baby/child.
There are no 'rules' of getting a baby to sleep... just tips.
And... you need to go by your child's cues and needs... and even if sick or teething or many other things.
I don't know how old your baby is... but she is obviously not feeling well.. and needs feedings or comforting. Meds, will not always substitute for that or for getting them to sleep all night.
You need to respond, to a baby's needs. Even if it is just hunger... and ESPECIALLY during growth-spurts. Especially, during growth-spurts... thus the need to feed on-demand. So that intake keeps pace WITH baby.
A baby, will naturally sleep for longer periods, as they get older...
all the best,
Susan
bending what rules???? there are rules to picking up your child in pain? and rules for picking up your child if they need you? i don't understand this rule thing...i held my son every moment i could whether he was in pain or not. and now that he is 8 year old he is my side kick-not a cling on. we have a great relationship because he know i'm here for him thru pain or not!!!
I'm more responsive during times like these...but we are no CIO people, rather into attachment parenting (though no kids in bed w/ us!) and our baby didn't start falling asleep without assistance 'til recently...22 months old! So, maybe I'm not the right person to ask, but I think if the baby needs more love & attention b/c she is in pain, she should get it. I think it's a little early for tough love. Good luck! I hated teething & am so glad my girl had all 20 teeth by 17 months!
Poor baby. I say go comfort her. It took me a really long time to sleep train my son too, and I had the same worries as you "will me going in there reverse all of our hard work". But, I knew that he was really in pain (teething too) so I went in and comforted him...I just couldn't let him go through that alone. We didn't have any problems with getting him to go back to normal sleep again. Good luck mama...remember this too shall pass ;-)
Most of the time I'm pretty independent, but I sure benfit from comforting when I'm in physical or emotional distress. I think for a baby it's even more important.
Unless there's an allergy, I'd try tylenol. Tylenol & Motrin both relieve pain and fever, but they work in different ways (hence, why they can be taken at the same time). For myself, ibuprofen works on certain kinds of pain, and acetaminophen/paracetamol on others, and on some kinds of pain either work equally well). And if she's REALLY miserable, just like with a high fever, try dosing with both. Tylenol+Motrin works really well for dental schtuff, because the ibuprofen takes care of the swelling, and the tylenol takes care of the pain.
As far as rule bending during sickness/injury... ABSOLUTELY.
Here's a rule of thumb: Do you do it for yourself? If you've never taken a sick day, stayed in bed, pampered yourself, snuggled up with a blanket when sick... never taken pain meds after dental work... then I can see not comforting a child who's sick or in pain.
Cutting teeth is painful for most people. I recently cut a molar. OMG. It hurt as much to cut the durn thing as getting it pulled out 6 months later was. The only difference was that it hurt for longer to cut it than it did to heal from getting it pulled.
No, I didn't stick to the rules.
Here are some suggestions...
Put vicks vapo rub on her feet (just the soles) and then cover her feet with socks. It will help with coughing.
Hylands teething tablets will help with the teething pain, are all natural and can be found in most stores now. You can also use them with Motrin if necessary.
The sneezing makes me think that she might be allergic to something like a pet, pet dander or another environmental stimulant.
Respond to her! Meet her needs whatever they are. Yes, I would bend the rules from sleep training--- once she is back to normal and feeling comfortable again, then you can go back to your rules. She needs mom and extra comfort during this time.Good luck.
M.
We just went through exactly what you're describing. We never did any training, we got lucky with one of those kids that just likes his sleep and rarely wakes at night. When he starts waking up we know that there's usually something going on and we just go to him. He's got a soother in his crib (ocean wonders aquarium, highly recommend it!) so we turn that back on, give him his lovey and give him a kiss. Sometimes some gentle pats on the back if he seems to need it and cover him up again. Sometimes that will do it, sometimes it won't. We did insist during later months (probably starting around a year old) that we won't pick him up every time he wakes up... partly because I'm pregnant and its hard on my back unless I'm getting him out of the crib for awake time.. but sometimes he obviously needs it so he'll get some cuddles as well.
So yes, I bend the so called rules. I think you'll find that even though its a break from routine, she'll get back into the swing of things once she is feeling better. Do give Hylands teething products a shot. For some children they work wonderfully, some they don't. They worked great for our kiddo until about a year old.
Oh Dear Mommy,
Such a pickle you are in...the same thing we all went through. Do what your God-given Mother Instincts tell you to do. Isn't one of your main goals to love and comfort this child? "Who says" is not the end all - be all for YOUR child. You will make mistakes, of course, but doing what you think is best, out of love, is never wrong. Phases will come and go, (all too quickly), to think that this ONE will damage her for life! Be gentle with yourself and do what you believe in.
anytime they are sick they get more attention and held more. in my book its a requirement.
I always bend the rules for a child when they are teething or sick. They need extra tlc.
You are doing great. Give her what she needs and wants.. Try the Hylands teething tablets also..
Hi R., As a mother of two small children and a sleep advocate and one who issensitive to your child's need, I would pick your daughter up and comfort her. She is in pain and needs to be consoled. When children are sleep trained, but then they are sick or teething and need to be comforted more, it seems that those children can be sleep trained more quickly after their illnes or teething is over. Hold your little one. They need mommy.
The key to long solid sleep is stuffing to full capacity with food during the day. IF she's waking up during the night, she's hungry, even if she seems fine during the day, she could eat more during the day if you offer. Over-stuff her all day for a few days, and she will sleep so long and hard at night, she wont' need soothing, and the teething will not wake her much. My daughter is super teething now, but still sleeping through unless I slack on food. My step aunt, mother of 10, taught me that. She got all hers sleeping thru the night by 3 months, and teething wasn't too bad, they were so good at sleeping.
But by all means, I go in and rub her back etc when she's really miserable, but I don't get her up-she's too tired, but needs the soothing.
teething was explained to me like this - "if adults cut teeth the way children do - we'd lose our natural minds". My pediatrician told me this. And he's not one of those "you can't spoil a child" type people. You are right momma - she is miserable. She needs to be comforted and we all know that contact with momma or dad or somebody will ease her discomfort. All this sleep training stuff - they outgrow that not sleeping through the night stuff so fast - I don't know why people make such a big deal of it. Pick that baby up and comfort her.
