Divorce!! Please Help!

You told him you weren't going for child support but he told you he was going to support them. If he is not supporting your children, then yeah, make it legal. It's not about you. It's about the quality of life for the children.
***edited after reading some comments: Hmm. I just take for granted that everyone is in the same situation that my family was in. My dad had to pay my mom $1,000/month for child support for EACH child, and that was in the early 90s. Yes, get the forms and see what he would owe as of now. Perhaps free childcare is something to consider. But if you do this legally, then MzKitty is correct and the childcare, insurance, ballet practice, whatever you guys agree to is considered---that's what my divorced bff's child support includes, at least. Child support isn't for living the high life, but you don't want your child to do without opportunities, medical care, clothes, school supplies, a sports league, simply because you can't do it all on your own salary and he isnt stepping up. Doing it legally protects you in the long run. He may have good intentions, but my experience screams that men's good intentions don't run the whole course of childhood (heck, your own experience says he paid what? one month??)

I hate it when women say they aren't going for child support. WHY would a Mother not want what's better for their children? Doesn't matter how involved a man is in their children's lives, it doesn't make up for lack of financial means women are constantly confronted with - since men make a helluva lot more when you consider they start off with a higher salary and are more likely to be given raises and promotions over women.

YES - get a court order for child support!! Should have been started the moment you separated before the divorce proceedings.

On this rare occasion, I am actually going to argue for the dad. In your situation, he keeps them while you work. How many hours do you work? Have you priced daycare in your area? He may not be giving you cash money, but he is contributing to your household. Isn't that the principle behind being a sahm? You aren't bringing money in, but contributing with your service.
When the court orders child support, it's usually 20% of his income. If he's watching your kids, I'm assuming he doesn't have a full time job? 20% of nothing is nothing and then you've lost your free babaysitter. For me, my daycare bill was $780 last month. I recieved $300 in child support. So, I'm still out of pocket $480. I would so much rather have had free dycare than child support. Think it all the way through before you do something you will regret.

I have to agree with Tracy K on this one, my child care for my children is over $800.00 I would rather have someone do that for free than have to pay for it. Maybe you can put together a schedule or a spread-sheet and you both can agree to it. So let's say the beginning of a school year and the beginning of summer you know that you will need extra at that time because of clothes, supplies, etc. Give him advance warning that late August/Sept, May/June you will need xx amount of dollars. Maybe you can come up with a schedule that he can pay for incidentals, co-pays on doctor visit's, birthday gifts for parties they are invited to, etc. You asked for advice on how to make it easier in my opinion an agreed upon schedule takes the guess work out of everything. I really advise you think long and hard about the child support because in the end it really doesn't add up to much. The other possible side effect is that he may be so hurt by the order that he will never give above and beyond so all the incidentals that you don't plan on are all you. Good luck.

I live in MO and just got a divorce last year. Child support is not your choice...it is mandated by the state. There is a formula that they use, combining your incomes that figures out how much he pays. He will owe you support from the time your case is filed, then it is handled by the state. Find yourself a lawyer you trust. That lawyer will help you through this and explain the process. Best of luck!

You know he's an immature, fool who cannot face up to his responsibilities. So you have to go for child support. I would have the kids go to day care rather than have him take care of them and criticize me in front of them when I get home. What do you need his noise around for to destroy the peace of your home.
He moved out and he's still argumentative. Move him further out. He can visit the kids on his visiting days. Find a lawyer and make the whole thing final.

I have an older daughter and her dad pays child support - He's an engineer that pays $300 month, and you'd think that was half his income. Everytime he had to pay more, he'd quit his job and 17% of nothing is nothing. So finally he was ordered to pay $300 regardless of working or not. I learned though, that child support comes with strings. I got married, had another daugher, and divorced - I asked for no child support - I don't want the strings!! My first daughters dad, sees her only because he's paying for her. I don't want that either. I don't depend on any child support, you can't!! I have an account that the first dad's $300 month goes into, and if and when I get any from my ex, I put it in that account - that's our rainy day account.

Yes, my advice is that you are making a huge mistake - the mistake that you are depriving your children of their lawful right to Child Support that you have neglected to pursue. If you were single and didn't want alimony/maintenance that is one thing, but your children are a completely different scenario. They should not be neglected or living in dire straits because you have too much pride to seek this. Go after the kids father and milk him for everything you can. If you have questions call an attorney and book a free consultation and ask questions. I don't understand why you would not even pursue child support !! He was a part of making these kids and should not be off scott free. $ 150.00 is a joke. You can even look up on google Child Support Calculator and see how much he should be paying. Definitely you MUST do this for the sake of your kids - your issues to not seek this is what concerns me most - this is for your kids. Do it for them.

if you have been arguing for 10 years why are you hesitant to get it in writing? that is the only thing that is going to help you - have it on paper. he's being a selfish immature a-hole...why are you playing nice? if it is because he watches them for you - with his child support you can get a daycare provider. do it for your kids. read what laeh g says too. do it.

this is the exact reason that there is a FORMULA that calculates child support. It factors in the time each parent has with the child, their income and what each one pays for (medical ins, daycare, social activities, etc). then it says the bottom liine of how much is owed and to which parent. So don't be stupid about this. Go down to the county courthouse, get the correct form for child support and parenting time and fill it out and file it yourself. We all know that as moms we will take care of our kids whether the father is in the picture or not but he is responsible to financially help care for your children. good luck.