My husband not to be and myself have just gone around the professsional legal bend, first a mediator, one or two sessions, and moved right into the traditonal no win, spend all your money model. We have been working with two top notch lawyers for over a year, maybe longer, nothing is moving, accept our money flowing from our account to theirs. We have been married twenty seven years, raised two beautiful,unbelievable women, ages 24, 16. Things are a mess, my husband who for twenty five and a half years was a wonderful man, kind, loving, caring, family man, worked really hard, showbiz, and other wise was home with family always. He was unable to do much, worked alot and I took on every thing, ran the house, the kids, the business, his, and my, everything. He was a completely comitted Dad and Husband. He is unrecognizable today, he has turned on me, had an affair (so unlike him) I know we all say that, Good values, practicing catholic, tortured us for 7 months, could not leave our family mostly because of our youngest, and tortured himself. The girl friend helped him transfer his dependence from me to her, he left, hasn't looked back. He demanded a divorce a year and a half ago, he filed and that is literally all he has done. I had to stop working, get the house ready for sale,I did all the forensic accounting, that took me forever, I do not much like numbers. I have lived, breathed, slept this divorce, done all the work,and I did not ask for it. So we are going nowhere fast, the housing market down,our pension down, can not get goodwill from his business due to new case law. I am an expert in family/couples work, not my own, and I know the drill. I do have to say I spent the first year disoriented because he is no longer the man I grew up with. I really need someone on my side, I know all the finances, I even have a settlement outlined and I need a good accountant with divorce experience to help me and possibly deal with our mutual accountant to start making decisions. I will need a mediator to help and/or work with the accountant if necessary. I have become very familar with divorce law and I have done all the accounting for suppot and alimony so I need someone who can help me present some of the issues, look out for my interest, stay with me following the divorce if possible to continue my personal accounting needs. We are very tough because he the good guy, the really nice guy has become hateful, angry , has completely stonewalled me, refuses to discuss anything, leaving me once again with the home, all responsibilities, etc. He refuses to co parent with me and he absolutely knows better. He developed amazing psychological skills when we were together and he is doing everything wrong. He loves my daughter more than life itself and has but her in the middle, and it is creating a very stressed life for her. Both of my girls and I have always been close, and the little one has had a very special connected relationship with her dad. I always said he was the best father in the world and know I am mixed. He went to her to get his emotionally needs meet and it continues to be inappropriate. He is still at day one in terms of his process and evolution emotionally, in fact he is getting worse. I have no choice, I must end this, get the divorce, for me, the girls, and for him. Help, I need someone excellent to help me negotiate with a man who is not ready to , it must happen.
Hi!
I am so sorry to hear all that -- heartbreaking doesn't come close - i do not know where you live - Carol Sternberg, Esq is a family/divorce attorney - she is in Encino ###-###-####. If you call her - please tell her Laura told you to call .... who knows ...... i wish you all the best!!
Laura! ____@____.com
Dear C. I am happy to see that you are trying to locate some great help. It looks like you have truly educated yourself on the subject and at this point know more than the average accountant and lawyer out there...go get the best:)
How ever you are on an awful rant honey..husband was all great forever, suddenly turned ,worse shape now , on and on.
You will not be able to re invent your self by completely asigning him cause and responsibility over the demise of your marriage, and the last yearand a half of your life along with your stats on the 5 to 7 year to get over it... which truely is like a death sentence for you being you are already in your fifties... time to change your tune warrior woman!
For your own sake and survival please try to locate something that you did to cause this demise, look at it accept it, find something else so on and so on. Stop trying to solve what has happened to you by inspecting his "ball park", look in your own, there you actually have a chance at changing things. where in his you can't get any relief or understanding
Then realize that this is YOUR life, and you know how to handle the hell out of your life. Then go do that WITH OUT shame, blame or regret...finish it, gracefully
Now, go get laid/romanced...you need to replace him asap,move on or you will really become a ranting raving bitter woman , unable to inspire your daughters to fall in love and go with the flow of love.
I understand, i've been there, it was gross, now I am thrilled to live in the present, with my soul full of desire and joy and a curious new fella by my side.
Get to work my friend, stop blaming start living!
H.
im so sorry to hear. An excellent accountant is Ronald S. Cheifer in Los Angeles. He is moral, fair and an expert!!!!!!I cant say enouph about him.
###-###-####
please give him a call.
What area do you live in?
C.,
While I do not have any referals for you, I do have a lot of sympathy. My husband with whom I've had a relationship with for the past 19 years has also become a completely different person. I suppose we must all do our best and keep our children foremost in our minds when dealing with our soon-to-be-ex-spouses. Good luck, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hi there,
I have a few referrals for you:
Sue Moravec
www.familylawpractice.net
Sherry Gaba
www.sgabatherapy.com
Wishing you the best.............
God, Cynthia, I don't have any of the answers that you need, but I want to commend you for being a strong woman!! My mother was in a similiar situation with my step father when she was 49. I saw her almost destroyed, but she picked herself up, and did the best she could. I wish you all the luck and hope that you can find the support that you need during this awful time. I hope that your soon to be ex gets exactly what he deserves.
I'm going through a divorce (that I initiated after 12 years because my husband was verbally abusive) right now and so my heart goes out to you at the stress and strain of dealing w/ someone who maligns you to your friends and family and tries to get your children involved. I have a 5 yr old son and I'm trying to help him deal with all of this. It is INCREDIBLY stressful negotiating these waters.
We tried Peace Talks Mediation Service · ###-###-#### · 8055 W Manchester Ave Ste 201, Playa Del Rey. They have a forensic acct, etc. Ultimately, I couldn't use them because I can't mediate w/ my husband.
To keep my costs low, I am now using an atty, Ariel Leichter-Maroko to help me. He's been practicing a couple of years, but His mother, Alexandra Leichter, is a BIG fish in divorce/family law/mediation world and as a very experienced (and expensive) recently retired divorce atty told me: "His mother is a barracuda in this field and she WON'T let him fail. He will have all of her resources." They are in Beverly Hills,90211 and his ph# is ###-###-####. The secratary, Shirley, is very nice and will talk to you at length.
He is nice and easy to talk to and asks you what YOU feel comfortable doing. I interviewed several attys before choosing Ariel and I'm happy I have him.
Good Luck and I'm sending you and your daughters a hug.
~Andrea
Cynthia
I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Life Coach in Agoura. I am running a divorce group and also provide life coaching. Please check out my website at www.sgabatherapy.com. I would love to be able to support you during this time. S. Gaba, LCSW and Life Coach
Wow, you have WAY to much on your plate. Not for nothing, but did you check with NOW to see if there is a pro bono service of some sort. Also, you said you were a practicing Catholic. Do you think your priest can kick him into action?
Good luck!
men are scum and your husband is for sure going through a mid life crisis!!!! In the end he will be the loser. Do what is best for you and your girls and you will have the last laugh when his life falls apart and he wants to come crying back to you!!! I wish you all the best. Your happiness in the end will be the best revenge!!!!
