In Feb, he stated he was filing for Divorce.. this after many attempts at counseling, praying, counsel with folks at church. I finally said enough is enough... Ok, let's do this as the name calling, within hearing of kids was getting worse and sleepless night due to his irrational behavior was getting old.. since then, things have moved slowly, he withdrew all the money from the joint account, overdrew it, keeps his money separate now and we have to ask for money as he is "saving" for his place. the kids and I make do.. he does not feel he should be made to "suffer". he has told me yesterday he hired an attorney, well.. I DO work however I cannot afford nor do i want to pay a $2000 retainer for this..I just wanted to get the paperwork done and get it filed. He says to many things can slip through the cracks.. not sure what that means.. We don't have much. the house is behind due to his being out of work for 10 months last year however I DO have a retirement fund which I know he wants and is entitled to 1/2 of. I just want someone to make sure he is not going to leave the kids "out in the cold" can that not be done for less than $2000? he is not moving until oct when his apt is ready, can you go through the attorney general for child support while he is still in the house?not sure where to turn, he has attorney, i dont' qualify for legal aid.
Find an attorney asap who will take payments because you NEED a good attorney! Don't trust him or his attorney to look out for you! You'll get screwed. It will be the best spent money you've ever had. Most attorneys give the first visit free, so it doesn't cost anything to see one once and ask questions. Good luck.
Look for an attorney who will ask him to pay the fees. He makes more money.With children and property you just about have to have a lawyer.I don't think he can get your retirement fund but you do need a lawyer. Lots of lawyers have free counseling over the phone.If he took all the money,he owes you half. I would also ask that he be made to pay half the arrears on the house.
If he has already retained an attorney, do NOT walk into the courtroom without one. I did that 14 years ago and there is not a day that goes by I don't regret it. My ex and I agreed on everything so, he told me there was no need for me to "waste" money on my own attorney we could just use his. It was great until we got in a HUGE fight 2 years later and he took our daughter because he said he had legal custody of her. I hired an attorney and it turns out......he did. The papers his lawyer drew up said we had "joint physical custody" of her but, in the fine lines it said that he had full "legal custody" of her. I tried to have them modified and a judge wouldn't hear the case. Bottom line...his lawyer will work for HIM and will be looking out for his best interest. You need someone to look out for yours.
Go to the district attorney and file for child support. He has to pay you child support. I'm sorry but he is purposely making sure you don't have enough funds so he will screw you in the end. Please go file for child support maybe you will be able to hire an attorney where he has to pay the legal fees
HTH HUGS TO YOU!
You need to start calling around for a lawyer... maybe call a law school nearby to see if any are willing to help? He is going to take everything, suck you dry then never pay child support!! You need to stop this NOW before it gets to court and he steam rolls you and your children!
Instead of hiring an attorney to do all of the dirty work you can always just hire an attorney to review the documents his attorney drew up. This is a cheaper way and normally doesn't require a retainer fee. With this you would only pay the hourly rate. Let him have everything drawn up first. Really the only thing you need to review is the Petition and the final documents.
First of all, I am sorry for what you are going through.
Secondly, my main concern here is that he will get the kids half the time.
That worries me. Do you feel he will take care of the children and not harm them?
If you feel that he will be good to your kids and want/need to proceed w/divorce, you can look in your local white pages (do it on the computer) for an attorney that will charge on a sliding scale based on your income.
Totally worth it especially if this escalates or he becomes vengeful.
Also so you know your rights.
IF NOTHING ELSE, YOU GO SEE A LAWYER FOR THE FREE CONSULTATION. Please do at least this. Have some questions ready and written down on a piece of paper to ask him/her. Even if you can't afford to have on on retainer....you will get some insight and know your rights.
Next, keep a little cash on hand.
Then make sure you open a checking/savings account in just your name so you can operate/pay bills/not keep all your cash lying around etc.
Don't worry about the material things except a place to live.
If you won't be able to stay in your home or keep it, start looking for a home rental or apartment if you can't get an inexpensive house.
I strongly recommend the house but understand if you can't do it.
Save your $ now, don't overspend, don't buy anything big.
Have a garage sale to make extra $ on things you do not need.
Don't sell anything of his, only your things and maybe some things the
kids no longer want/need.
He will need to pay child supp by law. Is he employed?
I wish you the best!!!!
HIRE AN ATTORNEY! You need someone who will look after YOUR interests and your children's interests. His attorney will be looking after his interests and you need someone who will make sure you and the children get what is coming to you. Most attorneys, I think, will be willing to work out a payment plan for you. I know it seems terribly expensive now, but you will be glad you did further down the road. There are just too many things to deal with to try and do it on your own or trust to his attorney. Good luck!
Why in the world are you allowing him to live with you rent free and "save" for his own place. Talk to someone at your church and either you leave or legally make him leave. Not sure the laws out here but maybe if you at least file "legal separation" paperwork which will also allow you to start collecting child support and at least for now he will be forced to move out. This is too important to not get legal help (sounds like he is going to be a prick about the whole thing) even if you have to draw it out of your retirement as a loan. Also some company's have a EAP (employee assistance program) and if your company has one (speak to HR) you can get legal consultations for free. My ex tried to side swipe me with an atty and it was very intimidating you don't want to be in those shoes. Good Luck
Do you live near a law school? Most have free legal advice clinics where you get advice from a law student who is under the supervision of a practicing lawyer. Expect to have to make an appointment (ie not over the phone) and go with a list of questions. Law students are particularly good at explaining (in detail) the process you're about to go through, so get the "road map" from one of them!
If he has an attorney, then you better get one also. You need someone who is familar with all the ins and outs, and who will protect your rights.
Laws vary from state to state, but in most cases retirement is something that is negotiated in the terms of the divorce. Also, a QDRO needs to be prepared.
If you have a house you have assets. If you have debt, you have liabilities. What's going to happen with the house, the furniture, the other contents? Who's getting custody of the kids? Who pays for the kids health insurance and medical costs? Visitation? Child support? I could go on. Have you thought about all this? Have you and hubby discussed it? Anything in writing? Point is ... you need an attorney.
http://childsupport.oag.state.tx.us/
you should be able to pull up the information you need to fill out to try and get child support started.
Get a lawyer!!! It is expensive and be very difficult for you while having to pay for the cost but you do need one. His lawyer works for him and will only do what is in his best interest!
And, keep in mind that you are entitled to half his retirement, mutual funds,etc. too not just him entitled to what you have. Alot of times lawyers will give free consultations. Call around, go in for a consultation and see what kind of payment arrangement you can make. Alot of lawyers will work with you and set up a payment plan so you don't have to have large sums of money up front.
Just to give you an idea, in Texas, it is 20% of his disposable income for one child for child support. It goes up I think 5% for every child after that.
Good Luck!
Please do not wait another day to get an attorney. It is worth every penny for you to have someone watching out for your interests and who knows the law. You can take a loan out of your retirement fund in some cases. He is out of line and you can have more money to work with when a lawyer can draw up so temporary orders which also establishes child support payments.
Has the initial divorce petition been made yet? Since he has an attorney let him do the initial paperwork. Do you have a credit card you could put the retainer on? I reccomend getting a lawyer.
I filed for divorce in April and my ex emptied joint account too and i am a SAHM that was 9 months pregnant. I had my baby 3 weeks after i filed. Then he was in the NICU for 2 weeks. AWFULLNESS!
I'm sorry he is being a dick! Men are selfish. I hope he is still contributing to the bills, ect specially since it sounds like he is still living in the house with you and the children.
In order to get child support i had to file for temporary orders. I got a lawyer with his credit card and since i am a SAHM he will most likely get stuck with all the attorney fees.
My retainer was $2750. My ex's $5000. It can get very expensive. Our divorce is not final yet and we have spent about $9000.
If you have an uncontested divorce (agree on everything) you can keep it around $2000 with kids. Contested divorce like mine can get really expensive.
Again i'm sorry if you need to vent or anything PM me. Take care!
I'm not a big believer in attorney's after we paid 14k for ours who did NOTHING for us. We got much more and further along when we did everything ourselves. I'm talking about custody issues my hubby has had the last 3 years with his ex. However, I also am divorced and filed everything myself and didn't have an attorney. It isn't that difficult. You just go down to the county courthouse and get the papers to file (they cost minimal and are step by step). You fill them all out and file it with the court. It tells you everything you need to do. He can pay for his attorney, as long as you can read you can see what he's filing and if you don't agree, you fill out the motion and file it back. If it were me, I would not wait for him for anything. Get it filed and get the ball rolling. It even has a form that figures out the correct child support amount and everything. And a parenting plan which basically states your visitation. Make sure its VERY detailed. Like he has whatever holiday on odd years, you have other holidays on even years, pick up child after school and drop off at other parents at 6pm, etc. Make sure it says either parent can have phone conversations with the child. And see if you can have final say in medical and education decisions if both of you disagree. I can go on and on but I think you get the idea. You don't need to feel obligated to him or feel sorry for him. He still needs to be "supporting" you and the kids now. Good luck.
