Divorce and Pregnant.

Updated on July 13, 2010
J.W. asks from Columbus, GA
11 answers

Well my husband and I are splitting up and I am 3 months pregnant. I also have a 4 year old little boy. I work full time but after paying insurance I only bring home $800. I need to find somewhere to live but cant afford anything. I want to get a second job but who is going to hire someone that is pregnant!! I have no clue what to do. Any advice would be appreciated!

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B.L.

answers from Atlanta on

1.) if possible, get a roommate. 2.) Get child support 3.) Sell whatever you can that you dont need (yard sale it, craigslist it) 4.) Try a side job, or if you are good at crafts or anything you could possibly make and sell, but nothing that is going to cost you too much on supplies to make. 5.) Do you have a car? I am giving up my car for public transportation, which is free thru my job. Beats paying for parking and gas I cant afford! 6.) BABYSIT! Maybe you can find another mother who needs to work and you guys can switch off...or you can get paid to watch some neighborhood kids? 7.) get on WELLCARE (health insurance so they will quit taking it from your check) and WIC (milk and cheese, rice, peanut butter etc..). These are state funded programs you will definately qualify for and help a LOT!!! 8.) Change your taxes. You can claim up to 5 dependents and get a substantial amount back on your check instead of getting a huge refund at the end of the year, you will get it monthly in your check when you need it. 9.) Good luck!!!! Hope this helps! I have been going thru some similar stuff....

2 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Wow, you're in a pickle! Do you really have to get divorced?! You obviously loved each other 3 months ago. Maybe you both can really try to work it out. Remember the reasons you got married in the first place. Go back to that time. So sad, for the kiddos, here.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Get an emergency support order right away. Your attorney will set it up. It took 5 minutes at the courthouse for mine. Both lawyers were there, they negotiated with each other, and then they took it directly to the judge to sign. I was totally stressed out for nothing! (on that part of it anyway!)

1 mom found this helpful
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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

You mentioned you only have $800 bring home after paying for insurance but does that include just for yourself or for the family? You can work out in your divorce that he pays for the health insurance on your two children plus the child support. If you are not sure how much child support you would get they have online calculators but you might be better off going to a lawyer since they fill those things out all the time and more familiar. They are quite lengthy and lots and lots of questions!
You can also apply for food stamps and hopefully get a section 8 home where the state pays for so much and you pay the rest but there is usually a waiting list but you are one step ahead of what most women are by having a job. I don't think you would need to go out and get a 2nd job as long as you have the help that is out there for those that needs it. This too shall pass your hands are already full adding another job is only going to add onto the stress and if you are working then guess what you are already paying into the system anyways so take advantage of something that is there for you that you help support. You need the support otherwise you wouldn't ask right? I realize some people take advantage of that but your willingness to go out and get a 2nd part time job tells me that you wouldn't take advantage. I'm so sorry for this and ignore those posters that say you obviously loved him 3 months ago. A lot can happen in 3 months my friend. Hell a lot can happen in a month! You can't reverse what is done but if you think things could potentially work out then try your best. Marriage is very difficult believe me and I really have no room to be giving advice but I guess I just wanted to give you hugs because I can't imagine being in your shoes right now.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from New York on

J. divorce or not hubs still has to help you finacially with your little boy and new baby on the way. Sit down with him and make a financial plan. Also if you are gettig divorced based on no longer being in love but still respecr eachother can you figure out living arrangements in same home till baby is born? becasue you are right not many people will hire a pregnant woman, but do check temp agencies. Sorry you are going through this.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Saginaw on

i was 25 weeks pregnant with our 3rd child when my husband decided he wanted a divorce. i moved 6 hrs to live with my parents. I didnt even bother trying to find a job cause I figured there would be no point! My son is 4 weeks old and now im looking like crazy! I was able to get medacaid and food stamps and also wic.......big help! Call your local state dept and find out how to apply, or google it, alot of states are putting apps online. I would also call family court and find out about child support and spousal support. This can take time! We seperated in March and I still dont have a court order. Hopefully your husband is better than mine and will help you. He should give you money without the court telling him he has to! I hope things get better for you!

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R.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Check into state housing They will pay for a portion or all of your rent. There is usually a waiting period for this. Can you live with family or friends for a few months until you can get your own place? Check into WIC, food stamps, etc. Understand about no one hiring pregnant people. I"m not any more but still look like I am and that makes potential employers write me off immediately even before the interview.

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J.M.

answers from Atlanta on

The first thing I would do is get a temporary order set - for visitation and child support - how long were you married? I think in GA you have to be married 10 years for alimony, but maybe being pregnant will account for something - good luck! I have been there (divorce with a young child, but not pregnant) - and the best advice I can offer is pray!

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D.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Get a good lawyer and have him or her petition the court for an emergency support order.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J., I'm sorry you are going thru this, I know its a tough time. I divorced my now ex husband at the worst possible time also but couldn't take it one second longer! Do you have family that can help? Even if it means moving to be closer to them? Also, your husband will have to pay child support so that will help you. Make sure you file for it and he pays it. Don't feel sorry for him or think you can do it all on your own. Maybe check to see if someone will rent a room to you until you can get on your feet. Maybe another single mom??? Check with some friends and see if they know anyone. Just do what you can. It will get better, I promise! I'm married now to a wonderful man who is great with my kids, he is NOTHING like my ex! You will be able to do much more than you think you can, we women can make it thru anything! Good luck to you!

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P.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Yes, please find a divorce lawyer to file and get temporary support to assist you and your child. Then build a support system. Many churches have divorce support groups or groups like Parents Without Partners. Do not move out without a real plan and ability to care for yourself and child. This resposiblity belongs to both of you.

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