Disrespected the Whole Family!!>??? NFL Fans Help Me Out Here

I am die hard bronco's so you can imagine the hell I get. Its football! now had you been talking to Romo's family stating that he was a dooch bag then yea I can understand.

I give and take all of the "LOVE" that goes with football. and trust me being a Denver fan I take a lot lol. Just blow them off, to serious for my type!

I think they were overreacting a bit. But you should be more sensitive to people and wording. Its fine to have fun and make little jokes but you went a little too far. Post a little mini apology to her privately and let it die down.

Seriously......
First of all I have to admit I hate football, well basically all pro sports, just because of situations like this. I think all of you overstepped boundries. Is a football game really - truly - honestly - worth fighting about? Did the world turn faster? Did Hurricane Sandy lose any of its fury? Did money fall from the heavens? Because a team won or lost!!??!!
Instead of spending all that time and energy fighting about who's team is better put some of that energy into helping people. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, help clean up storm damage, or at least donate blood.

Really I don't mean this a flaming but I think all of you need a bit of persective.

Rooting for your team was ok.
Denigrating another team ("would be even better if the giants a.k.a the bigbluebitches lost") was not.
It makes you a sore winner, shows poor sportsmanship and a shocking lack of respect for others feelings - by putting their team down, you are suggesting they have poor judgement for supporting that team.
The 'sh*t talking' as you put it, just puts you in a bad light - it's not classy or nice and arguing that 'everyone does it' or all least all die hard NFL fans do it is trying to justify shoving your foot in your mouth.
Since 'home is where they have to take you in', your family is not going to call you on it.
Your fiance's family does not have to take you in or stand for your insults.
Regardless of how it was meant - they took it badly.
That's their freedom of speech, too.
Just because you CAN say something doesn't mean you SHOULD.
If you want to make it better, a genuine apology might be nice and skip the sh*t talk in the future.

I think everyone behaved immaturely. I think your comments went too far and I think she overreacted. So now the question is, do you want to reserve the right to be entitled to the types of comments you made or do you want peace in the family? This is hardly the kind of thing worth damaging relationships for. If you feel like you shouldn't have to curb your enthusiasm and the way you state it for your team, maybe add that side of the family to a different FB list and exclude them from seeing your posts. They won't get any notices about it, nor will you have to unfriend them. Might be worth it.

Could it have been the bigbluebitches comment that is so disrespectful to them?

If you are going to have all the families on your fb, perhaps the language can't be too colorful unless you want them to get upset with you.

Dawn

I am a Vikings fan, married to a Cheesehead, and living in Bears country, so I get the rivalry, when it is good-natured. Honestly, I have been to churches in northern WI where the priest is dressed in Green Bay vestments, and 3/4 of the congregation wear their jerseys to church so they can go tailgate right afterwards. Honestly, you Cheeseheads need to calm the (BLEEP) down ;-) I hate watching GB games with my husband because he is loud, taunting, and just a general jerk when his team is playing.

That being said, I do think that your fiance's family is taking it way too personally. I don't feel personally offended when my husband or other Cheeseheads mock the Vikings. But, then again, I don't think I've ever heard them referred to as purple "bitches."

I don't think you should do a big apology, but perhaps you can get them some kinds of Giants gear and give it to them at Thanksgiving to smooth things over. Try to show them with actions that you meant no harm, and try to create some good will.

I recommend that you call your aunt and apologize and say that you meant no disrespect. Good news is that you and your in-laws both love football. Use that to build a bond and not a wedge. You are marrying into this family so I would try and rise above the mess and mend things. In-law conflict is not good on a new marriage. Try and make peace. Be the bigger person for the sake of your future marriage. I would not let this drag out for another minute. Damage control time!

Okay, "actual" football fans, what does THAT mean, people who put football above family?
Sorry, we have plenty of die hard sports fans on both sides of the family (football and baseball, especially) but they don't get all worked up on FB and it certainly doesn't get in the way of family get togethers.
If someone is acting immature and rude on FB then just IGNORE it and go about your business.
I mean, what ELSE can you do?
It's only an "issue" if you participate in the drama.
Take the high road.

I think you both went too far with it . . . this "ain't the hill to die on."

I'm a recovering football die-hard fan (Colts) and now I couldn't care less.

Don't make life difficult for your fiance over something that won't amount to a hill of beans.

I'm not a football fan but I'm passionate about soccer games, I have my favorite's team shirt to prove it :o) so as a passionate sports fan I must say I would have been very irritated that you called my team bitches KNOWING that I'm a rabid fan.

By the way I would never post anything that inflammatory on FB because you can bet your butt you'll be offending someone.

Whether it's politics, sports etc. when you post something that's over the line you HAVE to know that people will get their feathers ruffled and will post back not so nice responses.

hope everything turns out well,

You mentioned in your SWH that you just can't wrap your brain around why she took it so personally. The thing is, you don't have to. Her feelings don't have to make sense to you in order to be her feelings.

My husband has a tendency to dismiss things if they don't make sense to him. It can be very, very frustrating. He doesn't have to understand why I don't like ham in order for it to be true. He can love ham all he wants, but I'm not eating it! He doesn't have to understand some of the things in life that frustrate me in order for it to be true.

My husband is an alcoholic (in recovery), and I don't in any way mean to use it against him, but sometimes it's the best example I can come up with. I can have a beer if I want to. I can have a glass of wine if I want to. I can stop at one (or two, if that's what I feel like). He can't, obviously. I have no idea why. Doesn't make any sense to me. Why can't he have just one? What's the big deal? I don't understand. The thing is, I never will. I don't know what it's like to live with addictions. But I do have to accept the fact that he can't have a drink, ever! He can't, because he can't have just one. So if he has one, he will want another one and another one and another one, and the fact that I don't know what that is like is completely irrelevant. My lack of understanding doesn't make it any less of a reality for him.

Let it go. Your comment upset her. Whether it should, whether it shouldn't doesn't matter. Just apologize and move on with your life.

For the record, I am a die hard Cubs fan, and my mom is a die hard Cardinals fan. We live in central Illinois, right in the heart of the Cub/Cardinal rivalry, which has been called one of the biggest rivals in baseball. We love our teams, but we couldn't care less about the trash talk. We don't do it. Never have. Never really cared. Not everyone who is passionate about sports does the trash talk. Doesn't mean they don't love their teams, they just show it differently than you do. Doesn't make it right or wrong, it just is. Let it go.

Here's the thing - in your So What Happened you got upset because non-major-football fans don't "get it". But who do you think is on facebook besides you? Non-major football fans. So of course someone is going to be offended because you went on a rant. Not everyone is a s#it talker.

It may have been a stupid reaction on her part, but why blow this into a big drama? Just send her a message and apologize if your post made her feel that way, that it was a team specific crazy rant and wasn't meant to be personally insulting. End of story. If you keep the drama going, you're acting like a child as well.

This is why I don't like watching professional sports and am glad nobody in my family follows any teams. People are just rude to each other. Ribbing each other is fine, but from your description, you went past ribbing to obnoxiously rude. I think you owe your "family" an apology. And your post also shows the problem with typing out the sh*t talking" as you describe it. People can't pick up on how serious you are or aren't. We are used to reading facial and body language clues, but those aren't available on FB. Next time leave it at being happy for your team.

Big football fan...lying I bed w hubby right now watching Denver. I love love love Peyton!!!! Hate Green Bay with a passion !!! Sorry! Maybe big blue bitches was a bit much....... If your friends w minors (15 yr old is a minor) maybe you should think about cutting back a little. Yes it's just a game. Yes, some people take it too far , with harsh words and also with taking those words to heart. Oh and I liking Eli, not nearly as much as Peyton. Bears fan but I also love the Vikings since I was a kid. Never like Green Bay and at least here in the Chicago area, Green Bay fans are over the top nuts with their language and their passion. Never met a Green Bay fan that I can have fun with while watching a game. Sorry....maybe it's a stereotype but you people are crazy! :)

Is it possible that they were joking just like you were? Let's hope so. Otherwise, the maturity of everyone involved is seriously lacking.

Huge BASEBALL fan here.

The SF giants just won the World Series!!!!!!!!!
GO GIANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your question has nothing to do with sports. Please don't try to make it seem like it's about football or any other competition except the one that's in your family.

How sad something that is fun and supports family bonding is being turned into another reason for people that should love each other to disrespect one another. It's not about that and if it is why are you participating?

Forget about professional sports and try to rise above the discord.
You won't find more diehard SF GIANTS FANS then my little family, but when it comes to your post, I do not get it!

Sounds like everyone was being immature. I mean, my KU loving friends know I have to hate on KU on principle, I went to KSU, and vice versa, but we never get personal about it. Calling the team bitches was a little immature, but it does sound like your future MIL took it way too personally.

Okay from one total football fan to another, get over it. I am from Cleveland. I am a Cleveland Brown fan. I also root for the Houston Texans. Everyone in my family knows I'm a Brown fan. I have worn a paper bag over my head to games to be the "mystery fan". Browns fans have suffered mightly over the last several years! I do not like the Cowboys but I don't like the Giants either. I call the Cowboys the Cowgirls. But I do NOT swear regarding another team, well unless its Denver and Oakland. Only a Browns fan would understand that.

You knew that most of the family liked the Giants so you were asking for them to get annoyed at you with that comment. How do you know she wasn't pissed off with your comment? Freedom of speech goes both ways! You have the right to say what you want to say and so does she. You both were WRONG. From one football fan to another, I did watch the Giants/Cowboys game and I believe the refs got it wrong on the touchdown in the last couple of seconds for the Cowboys. Sorry, the Giants looked terrible the second half and really should have lost the game. Romo needs to be benched! On a good note, my Browns WON!!!

Total over-reacting. Maybe she's realized that, which is why she didn't reply farther. If it were me, I'd back away slowly. Rather than be nervous about a family get together that's still a month away, I might send a personal message that just said something to the effect of, "hope that my FB post didn't offend you. It was innocent trash talk and not directed towards you. It's what my friends and I do. Sorry if it upset you." Even if you're thinking that only a crazy witch would be upset by that, it will make for happier relationships going forward. It's one of those things that isn't worth everyone getting their feelings hurt.

I think it's all an over react and it will phase out in a couple of days. dont dwell on it. Emotions are always a little "high" during and right after a game.

I'll write from the position of a huge Red Sox fan, figuring it's the wrong sport but good enough. : ) I like watching football, but I'm not a huge fan of any particular team. Let's pretend a Yankee's fan had said about the Sox what you said about the Giants.

I'm assuming it was the "bigbluebitches" part that upset his aunt the most. If someone said that about the Red Sox, I would probably make a lighthearted comment back, probably including a jab against the Yankees. I certainly wouldn't feel that I, my family, or other Red Sox fans had been disrespected. I probably would think the language was over the top and not necessary, but I wouldn't have taken it personally.

Before you get too upset, take a step back and remember that tone of voice does not come through on FB. It's possible she didn't take your comment to be as lighthearted or jokey as you intended it to be. It's also possible that she is not as upset as you think she is by what she's written. I don't know her personality, but I do have friends who would write something like that and not be serious at all. Could she have been joking?

In any case, don't stew over it. Delete the conversation so it doesn't get blown further out of proportion and just pretend the whole thing never happened.

For the record, I can't stand Eli Manning.

You were commenting about a team and a team player which is not personal to someone you know. You were not being disrespectful of the family, tho some would say your language is disrespectful in general. You were engaging in what is now normal team rivalry. They took it personally and responded with a personal slam against you. Apparently they took your impersonal comments personally and were disrespectful of you. She was being overly sensitive. Now you have the opportunity to be the bigger person and not take her remarks personally. Remind yourself that it's just the way she feels at the moment. It's her problem and you don't need to take it on.

I see that and I'm not a sports fan, either. I don't identify with a team. Both you and your fiance's cousin and aunt apparently do. Sounds like she over identifies with her team. At some level she feels that she's a part of that team and any criticism of that team is criticism of her and her loyalties. Or perhaps they feel that the use of those words is disrespectful. I grew up in a time when they would've been considered totally out of line.

I suggest that by the time Thanksgiving is here all of you will have cooled off, I urge you to not focus on this. Pass their statements off as a clumsy, ill spoken attempt to be a part of the sports banter. She may not being saying anything back because she knows she was out of line and doesn't want to admit it. She may not have meant it to come across mean and feels misunderstood. She probably just needs time to cool off and reflect on what she said before she realizes how inappropriate she was. Perhaps both of you will realize how unimportant all of this is when considering the family relationship.

I suggest that you can be the one to end this by putting out "an olive branch." Write on facebook that you didn't intend to be disrespectful and are sorry that they were hurt and that you're looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner. Even if she was angry and intended her words to hurt at the time this gives her a way to back out gracefully.

When we write things the reader has no way of really knowing the intent behind the words. You can choose to take offense or you can choose to pass if off as just impersonal words. You can choose to not be offended by their words.

OK...I totally get what you are going through...most of my family on both sides, die hard Bear fans, my dad, Packers, my hubs and I, VIKINGS! LOL...but it's all in FUN! One thing my husband learned a long time ago from going to games at different venues (ie, not MN) opposing fans can be friendly and fun, and some can be down right awful! He told some jackasses at one game, "I paid to come watch this game and I'm pretty sure neither of us is getting paid to be here, so sit down and watch the game." I NEVER run my mouth about the Bears (the biggest rivalry for where we live) because usually the person I may say something to will get offended. While I know you meant what you said on fb, was it meant in fun? If so, delete your fiance's aunts post and move on. If you meant it on a serious note, then you should be prepared to take some backlash and back up what you say.

Unfortunately, some people take this stuf way too seriously...do you think anyone playing in the NFL cares how much you support them? LOL! I LOVE football and proudly wear my purple, and I don't take anyone who wants to bad mouth my team too seriously...life's too short. I would just move on and see how things play out w/ this woman over the next month...by you all not going to Thanksgiving is just giving validation to her comments. You can go, and if it is brought up, just kindly tell her you are and always will be a Packers fan, but in the interest of the holiday and keeping good family vibes, you are agreeing to disagree and don't wanna talk about who's on who's side. Best of luck.

All of this over football? Really? There are bigger fish to fry in this world!

I am a Chiefs fan (sighing with Adansmama here). Mostly our fans don't do a lot of trash talk like this. Chiefs have been good, we have sucked and this year we suck royally! We bad mouth our own team.

yes there are some of us who trash talk...call other teams by nicknames...like "The Faiders", "The Donkeys"...and we are called "the Chefs" or whatever the joke is. That is the type of trash talk you expect in sports. But to call someone else team the the bigbluebitches is a bit over the trash talk line. Her reply that you've disrespected the family is over the line as well.

I would just say "I was trash talking, and I apologize it was meant towards the players and the not their fans!"...

You should have deleted her post from your wall and kept it moving. That was not part of the spirit of your post, so it didn't need to be there. Ignore her. Your fiance's rebuttal should have been private, and ONLY if you guys felt it necessary. Unless there were some underlying family issue to be addressed, her comment should have been ignored. Even now, just move forward like it never happened. Let her bring it up again if it means that much to her. You shoudl act like it never happened and proceed with whatever family plans you have.

Ok, so my team is the Browns. I can take it all day. And I've learned not to give it until after they secure the W, lol!

Sounds like she's just upset that her team lost. I'd write on that same post and ask why she thought you had disrespected her and her family...especially when your entire family are Giants fans as well.

Then leave it at that. Go to Thanksgiving and laugh and joke with everyone and act like it didn't happen. Be the bigger person. (And know in your head that your team won! LOL)

I'm a huge football fan and I can take the jokes and taunting like every other big girl...
BUT I would never be so flagrant about my feelings toward another team on facebook (especially knowing how many people in your family and future family are die hard fans). I think you were looking to stir the pot. There are certain people you can ramp up the trash talk/teasing/heckling with and there are others you can't.

GO TEXANS!!

She was over the top but since your team wasn't playing the giants, there was no real reason for you to trash talk them yesterday. In my house, my daughter and I are Bears fans, my son is an Eagles fan, and my hubby is a Steelers fan. Before my daughter was born, my husband used to trash talk my son and I both depending on who was playing and we got fed up and made him pick a team son instead of picking Bears or Eagles, he went for the Steelers. We are a divided house for sure. We tend not to trash talk each other teams unless they are playing each other (I don't unless they start...which my son never does to me but hubby will).

For the sake of family harmony, I would say to her (not on FB but in person) "Aunt XXX I am sorry my post upset you, that was not the intent. My family are Giants fans too and this is just our normal NFL talk". You aren't apologizing for what you said but for upsetting her and maybe she can get over herself.

I do agree that if you can give it, you should take it but some can't.

Calm down - it's a stupid game. I just do NOT understand why some people take it sooooo seriously! LOL!

My only suggestion is to stay off FB and keep your opinions are sports teams to yourself. Obviously this family feels they have a "personal" stake in these teams. To each their own!

Unless Eli is her brother LOL!! Don't think you did anything wrong. This comes from a family of OBSESSED Giants fans lol!! My husband, son, and brother, are stranded in Texas right now because they went to see the game and intended to just spend the weekend. Now they can't get home!! My husband and a his close friend also purchased an RV to tailgate with their season tickets lol!!!! So yes, my family is obsessed with the Giants, and I am NOT offended at all!!!! She is def overreacting, it's a freakin football team!!!! Hopefully this will blow over. No pun intended, with the storm approaching. LOL!! Tell her we have bigger things to worry about, like staying safe for this storm!! I am alone with my daughter and a bit freaked out!! Don't let it get you down. Stay safe in the storm!!!

tell them and all your family....that it's your opinion!! and tell them to grow up!!! it's a game....really people noboy owes anyone anything.....i'm glad the packers won today too!!!!

I'm a huge huge die hard, for life big blue fan. I hate Tom Brady with all my soul. I will berate him every moment and chance I get. So I know what it's like to have a passionate dislike as a fan.

Hearing it though burns. Especially as a giants fan where we humbly play very hard with Eli manning as our mild mannered qb. It sucks because last season we made it in by the skin of our teeth, minus all the dicky-ness of a current cam newton or a jackassed coach like Rex Ryan. ( this does not make me hate the jets by any means btw, I respect them as the "other" ny team and would never kick them while down).

That's said, your comment touched the very core of what we as giants fans go through. We get it, Eli looks like his face never grew since pre-puberty. Aaron Rodgers doesn't warrant taunting. I actually like him. Calling us "bitches" is a bit harsh too. I call romo and co the cowgirls but "cowbitches" is a tad harsh. Calling you guys the Green Bay "cheesebitches" wouldn't make sense either. It's like, what's the point? Is the hatred that serious?

Hope this clears it up from a giants fan, mom and avid fantasy football player. Have a great season, I regret picking up Brees over Rodgers.